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I’ve had an indication from @TheButterflyComposer that he still has some final commentaries to come, and I think (?) @Peter Ebbesen might still have a few to do (Apologies if you don’t, Peter – I’m basing this off scattered memory!) so I’ll hold out on the reveal for now.

If I were to aim for, say, an end of week reveal, would that suit?
Fine with me. I still need to finish #2 and #3 and make my guesses, the plan to release one or two critiques per day last week having floundered after the first three.
 
Okay then, that’s all great. I’ll reveal our writers by Sunday evening (GMT) at the latest.
 
I've been lazy and busy in about equal measure, so I decided to just critique #2 and #3 a second time, because they've received the least attention on average.
#2:
Reading back, I'm pretty sure this is @Wyvern . The prose sounds suspiciously like his last entry. There's this same overly theatrical, oddly stiff dialogue mixed with legitimately very nice descriptions of actions and emotions that I saw in the other one. The author, whoever they might be, is better in general when dialogue isn't involved, and they are capable of writing some nice sentences. The ending is good for precisely this reason. In terms of the piece as a whole, there are many references to an AAR that I haven't read, but I'm not sure it transcends those references and authorial obfuscations to work as a story in its own right. It necessarily whacks us over the head with exposition, but I'm not sure non-readers of the AAR have the necessary context to understand why what's happening matters, and I think that's a big flaw of the piece-- if it was intended to work in its own right rather than going the way of entry #4, that is, which I'm not sure of. Grammar was decent as far as I could tell, though it should be "blackened and died" at the end.

#3:
I don't know why this was the first thing that struck me on a reread, but it did. I like the way the author writes their sentences, though others could find it repetitive, I think. It reminds me of this, which is never a bad thing. Not many wasted words, either. The author is good at giving us needed information without making the characters sound stupid, which is always nice to see. There's good, solid worldbuilding here, but what's more impressive is that the author has successfully made me invested in this story. I'm now curious about what happens next. Aside from the howl/growl bit, I'd say this piece is a success. I have no idea who wrote it, but I'm going to guess @HistoryDude .
 
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Good stuff, @GangsterSynod. Extra points for including a reference to poor old Waldo Jeffers.
 
I was side tracked by Peter's challenge to cover that poem but working on #5 now...
 
GTA Bleak Midwinter reviews: Entry #3

Tha story of tha coming of age of Thankade, son of Thaqager, at the Midsummer festival that takes place on the shortest day, longest night, that is, the winter solstice, a.k.a. Midwinter. This festival is exclusively for those of at least 25 years of age, and Thankwhatever he is something special, namely royal, so gets to attend it in the capital. The festival is also secret, shrouded in mystery not for youngsters to know. He is also sad bunny because 25 years of age, despite taking part in wars, he has yet to kill anybody, and what's up with that? Hopefully the festival will remedy this as the one thing he knows is to bring weapons and furs. (We also get an intentionally misdirectional aside mentioning life other places in the universe, because.. why not?)

Turns out it'll take place in a nearby uninhabited jungle (handy, that) and ”they are getting stronger” , that somebody left on the telepathic danger signal, and that Thankyouverymuch is in for three trials, of the mind, body, and truthiness.

This is where things get weird as he is transported to some strange place and faces a dangerous creature his sword doesn't cut (a Nemean lion copycat), but thankfully Thankidiot doesn't care about physical deformity, so he cuts off one hand with the other (kids: don't try this at home), throws it at his enemy, and when the enemy gobbles it up, he then uses the other hand to string and fire his bow, the arrow conveniently entering the open mouth and slaying the creature. Howling a wolfish growl as it dies, just to rub it in. I hate you.

Possibly he had three or more hands to start with. Whether he had or not, he apparently has a high healing factor as cutting off his hand neither causes him to bleed to death, nor any other minor inconveniences. Anyhow, it was probably just a visionthingy of sorts as he's back in reality. Or perhaps it was a parallel dimension, where Thankfullyitwastheotherone is now bleeding to death, while Thankyouverymuch gets to enjoys the rewards of the trial without the cost.

And what rewards they are! His mother tells the ghostly telepathic supernatural whatever voices that the Tha clan are all to blame for the world becoming a nightmare and getting rid of its protectors, that it isn't worth it, and that sure, they'll keep fighting every Midsummer. Thankyouverymuch agrees, and she tells him to enjoy himself because his life will be short.

Thankfullyrewarded gets to enjoy a splendid festival, possibly wondering to himself whether he had ever noticed that his world was a nightmare before, and frankly he wasn't sure it was so now, but he'd been brought up to be polite and it seemed the safe answer to give. He sneakily suspected that his mother was lying too. As for his mother warning him that life can be short, she's always been worried about his overindulging during feasts, so what else is new?

After all, if the result of his clans actions were that he was royal and had to go through such a ritual once a year, it was definitely worth it. Considerably less dangerous than fighting in the wars, and it certainly isn't as if his clanmembers are noted for having a shorter lifespan than those of other clans so the ritual, scary though it was, seems to have little effect in that regard... and it was a splendid feast.

But Thankgoditisover is left with a deeply existential question to answer, a question that will determine his status in his peer group: Does the visionarywhatever killing of the creature count as his first kill or not? He suspects it doesn't, as what happens during the festival stays in the festival, and that's a real bummer.



You know what? I like this entry. It is full of references to HistoryDude's story of Tha&Tha from last round, and there are a few Avernite references as well, and the author seems to find a particular glee in rubbing in some of my criticism from last round and sort of making it work in the context of the story. I can respect that.

I definitely feel that the story lacks some fleshing out as to why Thamother agrees with the defeated protectors that the world is now a nightmare, because frankly, this is something one wouldn't suspect otherwise from the story. Sure, there are wars, and people are afraid to go out at Midsummer (grumblegrumble.. winter), and the royal clan has a quaint Midsummer ritual, but.. is that it? I've given the logical answer above – that hey, it is a ritual, so she and her son give the ritual answer shorn of complete adherence to the truth, but if the author wanted it to reflect such a truth, a bit more world building to make the world look more dangerous than your average mostly harmless fantasy world would not be amiss.
 
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GTA Bleak Midwinter reviews: Entry #3

That story the coming of age of Thankade, son of Thaqager, at the Midsummer festival that takes place on the shortest day, longest night, that is, the winter solstice, a.k.a. Midwinter. This festival is exclusively for those of at least 25 years old, and Thankwhatever he is something special, namely royal, so get gets to attend it in the capital. The festival is also secret, shrouded in mystery not for youngsters to know. He is also sad bunny because 25 years of age, despite taking part in wars, he has yet to kill anybody, and what's up with that? Hopefully the festival will remedy this as the one thing he knows is to bring weapons and furs. (We also get an intentionally misdirectional aside mentioning life other places in the universe, because.. why not?)

Turns out it'll take place in a nearby uninhabited jungle (handy, that) and ”they are getting stronger” , that somebody left on the telepathic danger signal, and that Thankyouverymuch is in for three trials, of the mind, body, and truthiness.

This is where things get weird as he is transported to some strange place and faces a dangerous creature his sword doesn't cut, but thankfully Thankidiot doesn't care about physical deformity, so he cuts off one hand, throws it at his enemy with the other, and when the enemy gobbles it up, he then uses the other hand to string and fire his bow, the arrow conveniently entering the open mouth and slaying the creature. Howling a wolfish growl as it dies, just to rub it in. I hate you.

Possibly he had three or more hands to start with. Whether he had or not, he apparently has a high healing factor as cutting off his hand neither causes him to bleed to death, nor any other minor inconveniences. Anyhow, it was probably just a visionthingy of sorts as he's back in reality. Or perhaps it was a parallel dimension, where Thankfullyitwastheotherone is now bleeding to death, while Thankyouverymuch gets to enjoys the rewards of the trial without the cost.

And what rewards they are! His mother tells the ghostly telepathic supernatural whatever voices that the Tha clan are all to blame for the world becoming a nightmare and getting rid of its protectors, that it isn't worth it, and that sure, they'll keep fighting every Midsummer. Thankyouverymuch agrees, and he tells him to enjoy himself because his life will be short.

Thankfullyrewarded gets to enjoy a splendid festival, possibly wondering to himself whether he had never noticed that his world was a nightmare before, and frankfully wasn't sure it was so now, but he'd been brought up to be polite and it seemed the safe answer to give. He sneakily suspected that his mother was lying too. As for his mother warning him that life can be short, she's always been worried about his overindulging during feasts, so what else is new?

After all, if the result of his clans actions were that he was royal and had to go through such a ritual once a year, it was definitely worth it. Considerably less dangerous than fighting in the wars, and it certainly isn't as if his clanmembers are noted for having a shorter lifespan than those of other clans so the ritual, scary though it was, seems to have little effect in that regard... and it was a splendid feast.

But Thankgoditisover is left with a deeply existential question to answer, a question that will determine his status in his peer group: Does the visionarywhatever killing of the creature count as his first kill or not? He suspects it doesn't, as what happens during the festival is kept secret, and that's a real bummer.



You know what? I like this entry. It is full of references to Historydudes' story of Tha&Tha from last round, and there are a few Avernite references as well, and the author seems to find a particular glee in rubbing in some of my criticism from last round and sort of making it work in the context of the story. I can respect that.

I definitely feel that the story lacks some fleshing out as to why Thamother agrees with the defeated protectors that the world is now a nightmare, because frankly, this is something one wouldn't suspect otherwise from the story. Sure, there are wars, and people are afraid to go out at Midsummer (grumblegrumble.. winter), and the royal clan has a quaint Midsummer ritual, but.. is that it? I've given the logical answer above – that hey, it is a ritual, so she and her son give the ritual answer shorn of complete adherence to the truth, but if the author wanted it to reflect such a truth, a bit more world building to make the world look more dangerous than your average mostly harmless fantasy world would not be amiss.
This criticism all but could be an entry by itself :D
 
I'll keep comments open for another 8 hours or so. Identities will be revealed some time around 10pm GMT.
 
GTA Bleak Midwinter reviews: Entry #2

Right.

Within the first five lines, we get references to last round's entries by:

Avernite entry: Konge (main character), Circling the Stars (Avernite does love his stars)
Wyvern entry: Erin (main character)
Butterflycomposer: sunset invasion
HistoryDude: Blue Ones (faction)

And it gets worse from there on, much worse. The main references are, as mentioned earlier in the thread, to the Throne of Heaven MP AAR a group of AAR writers played – and wrote – 16 years ago. The game was run by this humble writer as evilpragmatic GM and Wyvern as good GM (it makes sense in the context of the game), with us also represented in-game as Gothmog and Alesso playing cheerleaders for the respective factions. All players represented brothers touched by the divine, though the one I controlled was possessed by the demon Gothmog. Alvaro, Bistami, and Amzad were some of these player-brothers. The game ended with the demon Gothmog apparently vanquished, but secretly seizing control of another brother's mind, said brother having made an unwise deal, Alesso giving up the Throne of Heaven to Alvaro, and the surviving players in general being quite happy to have lasted the course despite the majority of them having fallen to evil and entered into binding contracts with the dukes of hell. The portrayal in this entry does not quite do the characters justice, which the author is kind enough to warn us about. :p

The title itself is, of course, centered gold, and slightly larger than normal, and that is because that's how I usually write my AARs and/or tell people participating in my MP AARs to write their titles so we have a consistent approach.

And as for the writing – there are a number of sentences that seem near-ripoffs from famous fantasy series, but perhaps that is merely because of how generic some of these are.

The main characters of this entry seek the Throne of Heaven. Erin because she is the prophetized queen to come and Konge, perhaps, so he can return to his star. They find it and the Blue Ones turns out to be a) mad, and b) the aforementioned brothers.

It does not go as planned, though Erin gains control of the throne. Dead, admittedly, and Kinge too, but you can't have everything.

But no sooner is Erin in control than the blue ones start talking about the iron Throne of Heaven rather than the silver Throne of Heaven, and it is at this point that the observant reader realizes that the story is now abducting elements from the game Dominions 4 (or 5) wholesale, because, why not? Erin is now queen of Lemuria, a faction of ghostly legions.

At which point Gothmog steps in and is quickly and ignominously despatched – proof if it is needed that I certainly didn't write this entry, because I wouldn't treat my own creation so disrespectfully.

To signal that the end is approaching the author throws in a variation on the single Blade Runner quote people remember, because it has been misused so often in the same fashion, and the end itself is solemly declared by famous quote from the Bhagavad Gita via Oppenheimer about becoming death, the destroyer of worlds. Hurrah!

This is well written as a work of parody. I'd have liked the writing to be less abrupt, perhaps spending a bit more time setting the scenes and using longer and more descriptive sentences, rather than being the abrupt transition between different in-jokes with next to no background given, but it works well enough.

I would be less positively inclined if I didn't follow so many of the in-jokes, mind you. If read purely as a story in its own right, the parody will be missed and what remains cannot carry the weight of expectations, most of the story verging on gibberish.

This is definitely an area for the author to work on if future works of parody or in-jokes are engaged upon. When you write such multiple layers the story is supposed to work on each one.
 
My guesses:

#1 TheButterflyComposer
This choice is mostly by the process of elimination after I assigned responsibility for writing some of the other entries.

Despite minor quibbles I had, this entry is so well written than I consider it beyond the abilities of most of the AAR writers I know, which means that either I am underestimating one of those I know or it was written by somebody I am mostly or wholly unfamiliar with.

Given that I have not read many AARs the last few years, most of AAR writers from the last decade or so fall into that category, but of those some have participated in GTA with entries I recall that stood out for writing quality, and of those TheButterflyComposer's excellent and witty entry last round is freshest in my mind, so yes... He could have written this, and it is my guess he did.


#2 Wyvern
It is either Avernite or Wyvern, and it feels more like something Wyvern wrote, though I'm hard pressed to say exactly what makes me reach that determination.


#3 HistoryDude
I was torn between Avernite having fun impersonating HistoryDude after my challenging Avernite to impersonate another author's writing style and HistoryDude getting his revenge for the criticism of his piece last round. In the end I assigned Avernite blame for #5, so HistoryDude it is.


#4 DensleyBlair
And not because the poem says so.

Rather, it is because the collected forum wisdom found five authors definitely referenced to in the poem (Avernite, DensleyBlair, Peter Ebbesen, Stnylan, Wyvern) who were all on DensleyBlair's list of eligible authors, as well as possibly more cryptic references to other authors on the list (GangsterSynod, Mavavity116, HistoryDude, Swuul) – and here's the clincher, nobody found references to any author NOT on DensleyBlair's list. This suggests a level of inside knowledge unavailable to anybody but DensleyBlair himself, who created the list, and, I daresay, had a great time taunting us with the message in the poem that he did, indeed, write this.


#5 Avernite
Proof:
  • He is a good writer, but not a native English speaker. He could have committed the errors in this piece – as an alternative to it being deliberate misdirection.
  • He likes Lovecraft
  • He likes to play undead or perverse mutated spawn or great old ones in the game Dominions
  • In his younger days when he had more time, he had an unhealthy interest in playing Werewolf games
  • As I noted in my critique, this was obviously written by Lovecraft's deranged cousin, who, having been fed a steady diet of synonyms for the arguably sane, is out for revenge on an uncaring world...
  • And while he is a rational scientist at work, ”Lovecraft's deranged cousin” and ”out for revenge on an uncaring world” is a perfect fit for his playful side!
Sure, these are all suggestive rather than conclusive, but taken together they make a compelling argument: Avernite it is!
 
No comprehensive debrief this time as I’m on my phone, but nevertheless: the identities of our authors!
  1. @GangsterSynod
  2. @Avernite
  3. @HistoryDude
  4. @Peter Ebbesen
  5. @TheButterflyComposer
Our “winner”, with an admirable 3 correct guesses, is @Swuul . Very good job.

Thanks to all who played along and furnished our writers with commentary. It’s fantastic that this thing can still draw the crowds well into its second decade.

If people want one, I’ll be back with a new prompt later in the week. Let me know below if you’d be up for writing or commenting.
 
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I would actually be up for writing at least. Hopefully commenting as well.

I'll post my responses to the criticism of my piece later.
 
To anyone wondering, the torture of the analysis was totally deliberate of #5.

Sorry I was slow to do analysis of the others, but I did quite enjoy everyone's selection this time.
 
Would love to be able to write the next round, if still here for it...

If not, someone else screw with Ebsens head. He seems to enjoy my mind screw submissions.
 
Wait 4 wasn't Densley?

Also, please, a bit of time to respond to the comments!

Bravo to whoever wrote entry #2. Avernite's critique piqued my interest so I had to read it first, and I loved it. It's long. Probably too long for one of these Guess the Author rounds to be honest, yet it worked and I didn't for a second feel like putting it to one side. I wonder how well it would work if one didn't get all the inside gags? I can't answer that one.

Whoever wrote it was obviously around back in 2004, or if they weren't they did some very clever research, as we see not just 'the throne of heaven' referenced, which could of course be a happy coincidence as it's hardly a unique name, but then there's a character called Alesso (my character from ToH), which stretches coincidence just a bit far, and then to seal the deal, Gothmog pops up along with Amzad and Alvero . . .

Okay so who was involved back then? @Peter Ebbesen, myself, @Swuul, @Avernite, all have to be prime suspects, but perhaps there's a dark horse we're missing? @coz1 and @stnylan were around too, but no idea if they ever came across the ToH AAR. I'm ruling myself out for obvious reasons, and Peter too even though he's very capable of writing such a piece, and it would amuse him highly to do so, but the humour doesn't quite fit his normal style (though he's been known to bluff and mask that before). Part of me wants to pick @TheButterflyComposer, as some of it feels rather like entry #3 from the last round, but then we notice he's only been on the boards since 2016, so perhaps that's a stretch. Another part of me feels someone is playing a very clever game in trying to pin it on me or Peter, right down to the entries title font.

Further analysis and reading of the other entries is needed, but prime suspect has to be Avernite, with Swuul a close second!

(Throne of Heaven AAR URL if you too are interested in playing detective)
Pity you caught me, but nice to see the comment :)
Author #2
Hah, this is Throne of Heavens MP AAR, written from a different angle! :D
It is very obvious the intention is to throw the shadow of suspicion on me, Peter or Wyvern here. But it is not Peter, as he would never ever use the danish word of "king" as one of the main protagonists (that is sacrilege, which anybody who has lived in Denmark would understand). And it is not Wyvern, because of the american way of typing certain words (like grey - gray). And I know it is not me. I could well see a young Avernite eagerly reading the AAR of the campaign where his brother took part, and leaving an everlasting stamp on his soul as he was too young to take part. I also seem to remember coz1 was quite fond of the MP AAR at the time, so maybe he could have dug it out from his memory? Hmm, which one is it?
My guess: Avernite
Hey, I took part! As a sub, and only a few sessions, but still! I did not know about this "sacrilege" bit as you call it, but fair enough on catching me with it ;)

Initial reactions:
  1. Long, but recognizable. Avernite, Wyvern, or Swuul attempting to impersonate me impersonating Avernite... or possibly Wyvern, but with me failing and nearly giving myself away with style and formatting that is made to look like mine often is, but not quite a match, and the humour isn't quite right either. There are lots of references to the Throne of Heaven AAR (where we all participated) as well as copious references to last round's entries (e.g. Konge and Erin, Avernite's and Wyvern's heroes from last round, "stars" always being Avernite, the blue ones from Historydude's entry that I joked at the time about including in next round) -- I'll have to read this one carefully to find the truth; As an outside option, another veteran who wasn't part of the AAR game might have done this as a grand misdirection, but that would take more effort than I recall any GTA author other than myself engaging in in the past. Perhaps this is the first time?
  2. ----

Throne of Heaven...

It was really fun playing the EVIL GM in that game, with Wyvern being the goody two-shoes. It meant I not only had fun if my own country under Gothmog did well, as EVIL GM I also had fun tempting players with deals that weren't strictly speaking too good to be true as the in-game power they delivered was very real and the negative effects, if any, clearly spelled out, with no nasty surprises - though everybody suspected them and some were paranoid about it, and of course I framed my EVIL GM conversations with them to cause maximum suspicion. Well, no nasty surprises until the end of the game, that is.

In particular as in my role of Gothmog I grew more powerful, in my role as EVIL GM deals were made ("dark opportunities") giving extra power to players in return for harming Gothmog and not merely for doing ever more vile things to themselves, their people, or their immediate enemies.

Wyvern as GOOD GM, with the power to reward players that played nice, had to watch players agree to do ever sillier things in return for power (having one of them cut off his own head and carry it in a box was just the beginning), then ever more evil, as few of the players resisted temptation. To be precise, one, namely Swuul.

The result being that when the game ended with the apparent final victory of "GOOD" with the overthrow of Gothmog, we had this conversation in game. (Key characters. Gothmog (me, Peter Ebbesen) - evil lord. Alesso (Wyvern) - good lord. Alvaro (Swuul) - good, fighting for good. Bistami (ForzaA)- fallen opportunist, fighting for good, Amzad (FAL-unmerged now) - fallen opportunist, fighting for good, Reoyl (SMN/RedPhoenix), fallen opportunist, head in box, had wittingly given his soul to Gothmog, sworn fealty, and fought for evil, and Qutb (Robertus-unmerged now), fallen opportunist, fighting for evil, had agreed to a deal that, unknown to him when he entered it, gave Gothmog his body as an escape hatch in case of defeat.)

The deal struck with Bistami meantioned in that post was one of my more amusing negotiations.
Happy to note I got the old men to talk about the good old days, without clearly signalling it was me all along, at least to some of you!

Entry #2:
I'm not familiar with the Throne of Heaven (though I will make sure to read up on it soon), so I'm in an interesting place in terms of critiquing this piece. I liked the Blade Runner-inspired bit (and the Bhagavad Gita, come to think of it), but it feels a little out of keeping with the rest of the piece. It seems like the author couldn't resist making a wry little reference. I'm basing this on very little, but it seems like something Peter would do. It's also got bits of Wyvern's entry in it, but I'm still thinking Peter. Not a lot to say about the writing. It reads well, though it's not quite my style. Not a ton to say on it overall. I'll have more in a few weeks, I think.
Good to see non-ToH people also have happy comments about the bit. Yes, indeed, there was a Blade Runner and Bhagavad Gita reference (by way of Oppenheimer). There was also Wheel of Time, some Ice and Fire, and I think I brought in some Malazan but who remembers. And of course Gothmog is also a Balrog of Morgoth, next to being a ToH character.

You caught me at a good (bad?) time with that meeting :p
I forget whether it was historical stuff regarding blood brothers/ blood oaths I'd been reading, or fiction inspired by it - in either case describing it as a positive thing - but suffice to say I was unable to find a narrative reason to reject the offer.


But indeed, even practically half my life ago, both Throne of Heaven campaigns are still fond memories.

--

And reading the #2 entry that started the whole convo..

I feel like there's some Dominions campaign references too. That does absolutely 0 to narrow it down, unfortunately, from the ToH "entrants".
For reasons of Sea Legions and Tan Howlers, I'm inclined towards Peter Ebbesen.
Huzzah, I convinced even ForzaA it wasn't me :D Definitely my proudest misdirect!
I've been lazy and busy in about equal measure, so I decided to just critique #2 and #3 a second time, because they've received the least attention on average.
#2:
Reading back, I'm pretty sure this is @Wyvern . The prose sounds suspiciously like his last entry. There's this same overly theatrical, oddly stiff dialogue mixed with legitimately very nice descriptions of actions and emotions that I saw in the other one. The author, whoever they might be, is better in general when dialogue isn't involved, and they are capable of writing some nice sentences. The ending is good for precisely this reason. In terms of the piece as a whole, there are many references to an AAR that I haven't read, but I'm not sure it transcends those references and authorial obfuscations to work as a story in its own right. It necessarily whacks us over the head with exposition, but I'm not sure non-readers of the AAR have the necessary context to understand why what's happening matters, and I think that's a big flaw of the piece-- if it was intended to work in its own right rather than going the way of entry #4, that is, which I'm not sure of. Grammar was decent as far as I could tell, though it should be "blackened and died" at the end.
Pity my kitchen sink reference approach didn't work for you, in the end, but yeah - I think by the end I was getting into the swing of it, smashing in a reference left and right because I could ;)

Interesting you mention the dialogue, because others have said I'm good at banter. Maybe the dialogue being dominated by the mad brothers killed the flow? Who knows.

GTA Bleak Midwinter reviews: Entry #2

Right.

Within the first five lines, we get references to last round's entries by:

Avernite entry: Konge (main character), Circling the Stars (Avernite does love his stars)
Wyvern entry: Erin (main character)
Butterflycomposer: sunset invasion
HistoryDude: Blue Ones (faction)

And it gets worse from there on, much worse. The main references are, as mentioned earlier in the thread, to the Throne of Heaven MP AAR a group of AAR writers played – and wrote – 16 years ago. The game was run by this humble writer as evilpragmatic GM and Wyvern as good GM (it makes sense in the context of the game), with us also represented in-game as Gothmog and Alesso playing cheerleaders for the respective factions. All players represented brothers touched by the divine, though the one I controlled was possessed by the demon Gothmog. Alvaro, Bistami, and Amzad were some of these player-brothers. The game ended with the demon Gothmog apparently vanquished, but secretly seizing control of another brother's mind, said brother having made an unwise deal, Alesso giving up the Throne of Heaven to Alvaro, and the surviving players in general being quite happy to have lasted the course despite the majority of them having fallen to evil and entered into binding contracts with the dukes of hell. The portrayal in this entry does not quite do the characters justice, which the author is kind enough to warn us about. :p

The title itself is, of course, centered gold, and slightly larger than normal, and that is because that's how I usually write my AARs and/or tell people participating in my MP AARs to write their titles so we have a consistent approach.

And as for the writing – there are a number of sentences that seem near-ripoffs from famous fantasy series, but perhaps that is merely because of how generic some of these are.

The main characters of this entry seek the Throne of Heaven. Erin because she is the prophetized queen to come and Konge, perhaps, so he can return to his star. They find it and the Blue Ones turns out to be a) mad, and b) the aforementioned brothers.

It does not go as planned, though Erin gains control of the throne. Dead, admittedly, and Kinge too, but you can't have everything.

But no sooner is Erin in control than the blue ones start talking about the iron Throne of Heaven rather than the silver Throne of Heaven, and it is at this point that the observant reader realizes that the story is now abducting elements from the game Dominions 4 (or 5) wholesale, because, why not? Erin is now queen of Lemuria, a faction of ghostly legions.

At which point Gothmog steps in and is quickly and ignominously despatched – proof if it is needed that I certainly didn't write this entry, because I wouldn't treat my own creation so disrespectfully.

To signal that the end is approaching the author throws in a variation on the single Blade Runner quote people remember, because it has been misused so often in the same fashion, and the end itself is solemly declared by famous quote from the Bhagavad Gita via Oppenheimer about becoming death, the destroyer of worlds. Hurrah!

This is well written as a work of parody. I'd have liked the writing to be less abrupt, perhaps spending a bit more time setting the scenes and using longer and more descriptive sentences, rather than being the abrupt transition between different in-jokes with next to no background given, but it works well enough.

I would be less positively inclined if I didn't follow so many of the in-jokes, mind you. If read purely as a story in its own right, the parody will be missed and what remains cannot carry the weight of expectations, most of the story verging on gibberish.

This is definitely an area for the author to work on if future works of parody or in-jokes are engaged upon. When you write such multiple layers the story is supposed to work on each one.
Well it was only my first foray into the realm of spoofing other authors, so fair enough, I do need more practice. But you did challenge me to do it ;)

My guesses:

#2 Wyvern
It is either Avernite or Wyvern, and it feels more like something Wyvern wrote, though I'm hard pressed to say exactly what makes me reach that determination.
Would not surprise me if a key reason is because ForzaA said it wasn't me ;) But definitely my second-proudest misdirect ;)
No comprehensive debrief this time as I’m on my phone, but nevertheless: the identities of our authors!
  1. @GangsterSynod
  2. @Avernite
  3. @HistoryDude
  4. @Peter Ebbesen
  5. @TheButterflyComposer
Our “winner”, with an admirable 3 correct guesses, is @Swuul . Very good job.

Thanks to all who played along and furnished our writers with commentary. It’s fantastic that this thing can still draw the crowds well into its second decade.

If people want one, I’ll be back with a new prompt later in the week. Let me know below if you’d be up for writing or commenting.

Probably should update my guesswork list:

So first author: Peter Ebbessen (content, see my analysis)
Second author: Swuul (content, idem)
Third author: HistoryDude (content, idem)
Fourth author: DensleyBlair (content of the poem 'DensleyBlair Wrote This', vague allusions to a cryptogram which noone but the host could write for lack of knowledge)

Fifth author: Wyvern, for being a Brit mentioned in the poem without another entry jumping out. Stnylan is my second guess. His paragraph also vaguely fits with the content, but then basically each paragraph would fit entries 1, 2 and 5. So yeah. The way of the poem-derivation lies madness, and I have only used it here for lack of an alternate good reasoning.

Though I suppose it fits in the sense of Erin's story last time having a closure that didn't excite me due to lack of proper buildup despite being perfectly comprehensible, and this being the exact opposite (perfect build of excitement without quite as much understanding).
Well at least I got one right, and one was mine, so 25% success. Not... great?

Mind about #4
How could anyone else write a cryptogram about the entries/authors?

One could write a cryptogram in general, but those usually need way more information to be solvable, unless the answer is 'these are the authors' as befits 'guess the author'.
I still agree with this bit. This is not strictly a cryptogram, unless I am missing some OTHER clue that's in there ;)
 
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Wait 4 wasn't Densley?

Turns out all it takes for Peter to bring everyone under his spell is to drop “X made me” into the middle of a piece.

Not very edifying, is it? :p
 
Turns out all it takes for Peter to bring everyone under his spell is to drop “X made me” into the middle of a piece.

Not very edifying, is it? :p
No, your 'it is totes a cryptogram' is what did it.
 
Well, a bout of insomnia has meant that I managed to get my responses done earlier than I thought. Apologies for the lack of organization of the responses. Multiquoting is such a pain now and I decided not to do it.
To be honest, I loved this one. I also suspect Peter Ebbesen wrote it and tried to frame me based on the fact this supposedly advanced spaceplane has a weaksauce weakness, the kind of oversight he has accused me of in both my space-themed story of last time and early 2017 (and, to be fair, not without reason).

Plus the whole 'You There' episode reminds me of the Timurid Scientists. And the 'imagine, if you will' is likewise fitting. I could, of course, be led on a wild goose-chase by someone spoofing Peter while maybe framing me...

As to the content, I liked the inclusion of pictures. It wasn't strictly necessary, because the shape of the alien really isn't relevant, but it was fun all the same.
What jarred me a bit is how the escapee managed to convince everyone he should be let free. The two bountyhunters spotted this alien in a predicament and went in to collect, only for the humans to decide they'd side with the alien and shoot down the space-ship, but letting the alien go free... Did they even try cooking it? ;)

Also, I'm a bit puzzled by the siege. Why would the besiegers and besieged together share food to eachother? Much better for the besiegers to let the besieged starve, no? Mind, I get why - the plane had to be shot down to show cannonballs can do it - but it's a bit confusing.

For the rest the story is peppered with short gags all about, and so the flow keeps up even when it's really quite a dour theme. Who knew cannibalism could make a fun story?

I sadly haven't much concrete constructive criticism to offer. The story works, to me, even if the exposition on the bounty alien's shape felt a bit excessive.
Yes, you're absolutely right here on a few counts. I wrote and left in the bit about the alien's shape because it was the bit that amused me most, but there was also no real story reason to keep it, and I have to say that I was worried about how it would work. I couldn't think of any reason that the escapee wouldn't be attacked by the starving besieged, but I just decided to go with it because the story was getting ridiculous enough anyway. The line of thinking as regards the food from the ship was that each side figured more might fall on their side, but I probably should have made that clearer.
Author #1
I like this story, quite a lot :)
In the text itself there are a couple anomalies. The ",,,Shit" seems strange, it is a typing error I have seen many americans use at some point. Also, anybody who knows anything about armies (like, having done service) knows Sergeants are not part of officer corps (I know, I am a Staff Sergeant in Reserve myself), and any Sergeant would be pissed off if somebody called them part of the officer corps (all Sergeants know the officers make the blunders, and it is the job of Sergeants to fix things afterwards). So, a civilian american.
My guess: Cora Giantkiller
(my sincerest apologies if you have done service, but I haven't noticed anything in your texts which would suggest you have)
Well, you may have guessed incorrectly, but I am indeed a civilian American who knows basically nothing about the military chain of command, so you were pretty much there. I definitely wrote my entry fairly quickly and, while I'm generally decent at catching blatant typos, that one slipped my notice.
GTA Bleak Midwinter reviews: Entry #1

This story is half galactic bountyhunter 101, half siege story, and half the joys of cannibalism for the inquisitive connoisseur, which is to my mind one half too many, and there lies the problem with what is otherwise a well written and amusing story.

I don't mind a jolly story of cannibalism if done right, mind you, but here is serves mainly to feed the appetite of a reader vulnerable to cheap jokes and provides an excuse for shooting down a spacecraft, which the writer nearly manages to pull off successfully. But enough about that for the moment. I appreciate what the writer tried to do even if I have some problems with the execution.

Let me point instead to something that the writer does not once, but several times, and does well. Something that is not at all easy to do: The surprise context switch.

The two first paragraphs are all ”dreadful siege going on for six months, people turn to widespread cannibalism to keep the siege going after some four months and by now it is widespread”, something that makes no sense at all in a historic context since besiegers that reach starvation status leave or mutiny rather than continuing the siege.

For the besieged it makes a bit more sense, but not much. There's a splendid line about the besieged being sustained by the words of the city fathers for months and afterwards on the city fathers themselves, and the previous commandant too. Which means that they've had a jolly little revolution of sorts in the city, and rather than choosing to surrender the city once they overthrew their government, they decided to keep on fighting and turning to cannibalism.

When reading the entry the first time, I was nearly ready to write it off as well-written drivel by somebody completely off his rocker at that point.

And then came the context switch, perfectly timed: ”All of this is a very longwinded way of saying that it was an eventful time for the aliens to invade. ”

This then is followed by the amusing backstory of the two extraordinary bounty hunters, and it is written in a different style from the first. Then, just as that story starts to make some sort of sense, we encounter a talking chimney, the second perfectly timed context switch taking place. And the story of the subcommandant and the talking chimney is told in a third writing style.

One thing I really love about this is that not only is the writing style sufficiently different for the three groups (soldiers, mercenaries, subcommandant and spirit) for it to be noticeable yet not distracting, the four named characters all have distinct and easily recognizable voices. This is quite uncommon in GTA entries that have more than two characters speaking, so well done!

Now, I am not going to go through the entire story paragraph by paragraph. I am not going to point out the utterly ridiculous suspension of disbelief necessary for the reader to accept that the subcommandant instructs the besiegers to shoot down the alien space craft flown by spirits and full of food using the last of their powder and shot or for them to actually going on to do so, and doing so successfully.

The reason I am not going to do that is because I have read much, much, sillier and inexcusable coincidences. GangsterSynod mentioned Douglas Adam's writing, but to me this entry reminds me of the British writer Robert Ramkin, and that is high praise indeed. I would not be at all surprised if the writer was familiar with such classics as ”The Brentford Triangle”, ”The Sprouts of Wrath” or ”They Came and Ate Us (Armageddon II: The B-Movie)”

And that has put me in a bit of a dilemma.

You see, ”when things get tough, everybody becomes a cannibal” is something I usually associate with US writers. Whether it is a case of people stranded on an island or a post-apocalyptic world, the next thing you know is that entire societies turn cannibalistic in defiance of all historical precedent off human behaviour. So my natural inclination is to pin it on a US writer.

But the jokes, and the Ramkin-adjacent writing style and humour, screams British to me, or at least non-US native English speaker.

Well, either that or a very, very good non-native English speaker like myself, who is capable of writing in such a style. And possibly throwing in a few misdirections my way such as ”Imagine, if you will”, though to be fair I am hardly the only one using that construction frequently when positing a hypothetical, so it might not be a deliberate misdirection but just similarity of style.

So... I am not going to make a final guess as to the author yet. That will have to wait until I've considered all five entries carefully.
So, funny thing, I had actually planned to write an extremely depressing entry, and the first two paragraphs were remnants of that idea, but then the first context switch line popped into my head and, after a little internal debate, I decided to just go with it, which is really how this whole piece was written and the reason it has the high points and low points that it does. Hmm, an alien stuck in a chimney? Just go with it. A lack of any logic whatsoever on the part of nearly (I maintain that the escapee's logic is reasonably sound) every single character involved? Just go with it. The reason I didn't elaborate too much on why each camp didn't surrender/flee was in large part because I didn't want to get into the reasons behind the war or do any real worldbuilding on the human side, really (partially because I felt like it might kill the pacing, partially because I'm nothing if not a lazy writer). I didn't want to go 'and then the Hordes of the Blue Menace swore that they would destroy every Redlander city they came across, even if they surrendered, in revenge for the killing of Princess Azula' or whatever. On the other hand, I figured the besiegers had made a pretty reasonably sound decision in not leaving, and I was disappointed that I didn't convey that better. In a harsh winter, where your besieging army is out of supplies and so dispirited they can barely move as it is, a trip out of the area might be an act of mass suicide unto itself, and the hope that the besieged might finally surrender if the besiegers only held their positions for long enough might be tantalizing enough for the besiegers to stay put.
As to the writing style and jokes, I decided when I had the idea to throw aliens into this cannibal-infested siege that what I had so far was so completely inane, insane, and pointless that I might as well lean into it and try to go for a Douglas Adams/Terry Pratchett thing with a bit of Python or Blackadder at the edges, while attempting to imitate British writing, in the faint hopes I might convince someone that 'British + funny = TBC', which as it turns out kind of worked. But now I want to read some Ramkin...
First off, the first sentences in these story breaks and starts are extremely well written. For some reason. Make of that what you will. But just thought I'd mention, because the previous rounds entries universally did not start very well...



This is a pretty good start. A little banal, but the content immediately launches the reader into both a situation and a story. Provides a time frame too. Good work for eight words.



It is perfectly possible and normal for European winters to last six months or so. October to March is not so unusual. The brackets therefore aren't really necessary.

Of course this puts paid to the idea of it being in the bleak midwinter, but we still have winter and bleakness. Two out of three ain't bad.



Here follows several jokes on cannibalism and meat eating in desperation. The problem of course, is that the besigers should be supplied by their own forces. If they aren't, and everyone including the officers in charge are starving, there is little believability in them all staying put instead of buggering off to go feed themselves. Apparently they've run out of everything, including Canon shot. Clearly this isn't an important siege for their realm (whomever that may be) so why are they still there?



Again, this poor bastards have devolved to cannibalism. Before that happened, and especially after months of it, surely they'd break or riot or something?



This is well written and a good play on the developing concept. It works much better in the besieged city than the guys outside.



Then again, it begs the question why they haven't given up? Is there an army coming to save them? Are they all going to be slaughtered if the other guys get in?

What is worth all their lives, even after everyone in the local government is dead and eaten? As the story has gone to the trouble of pointing this exact thing out, repeatedly, the author must also answer that question.



A cracker of a nonsequiter.



That is spoiled considerably by this. What on earth is going on here?

The first sentence is alright, but after that. 'They' (plural) 'would not even qualify as a gaggle or herd (so far, so literate), 'though' (comma then though indicates an alternating point that never comes), 'not really.' (Not really what? Though... something? Or that they aren't a herd or gaggle, or they are?).



We aren't, by the way. We're dealing with three.

To be precise, two bounty hunters on a ship, and one bounty in a chimney.



These chaps proceed to spend the entire story being utterly incompetent at their jobs.

This may however be a purposeful joke.



We are in the not making sense realm again.

The author does this quite a but actually.
They seem to have gone back having written the work and gone 'oh that doesn't make sense...let me acknowledge that without editing anything.'

This is a very common problem with writers old and new, but especially new (of course). Whilst it can work, generally speaking if you've found a flaw in your writing to the extent you want to draw further attention to it to explain it away...why bother? Rewrite the damn thing. It'll be easier on both the writer and reader.

In this case, there is no reason as to why the meeting and drop off can't be done in space. Or on the moon. Or on Mars. Or a mile over there, in the apparently lifeless forest.



Another genuine funny. This work has a lot of them. It's just that it also provides copious explanations for things that don't need explaining (such as winter being cold, and long lasting in europe) or comically bullshit (the 'expert' alien hacks, and the reasoning behind doing contract negotiations in the middle of a siege).

If it is deliberately meant to be funny, it is in a way. But still, unnecessary explaining is unnecessary.



Another great opener. The author must really like these. Or had a sketch-like way of constructing this story. Makes sense if that's the case.



Nothing much to say here. That's good stuff, very much in the line of British comedic meandering patter that suddenly and randomly gets political in places.



The dialogue could use some work. Its a little wooden. However, this is because, I think, the author is trying hard to differentiate between two voices without the trappings of sentence structure.

But, really, no one speaks like this. It's not bad, but the execution saps the content, if you understand. Like any George Lucas script, the content is great. The execution is £:÷"&@*.
Hmm. Some editing could be done here. I'm fairly sure the emphasis was meant to be like this:

"I am in your chimney, your tube. I am not a chimney. Extract me immediately...dolt."

The quotations around chimney do put the point across that the alien doesn't know what a chimney is, but we already know that, and it emphasises chimney in both sentences when it shouldn't.

The author should have some faith in their abilities. They've made the point about the alien being clueless effectively already through the dialogue. No need to Hammer on.

DensleyBlair said:
“Er, do hands count? I’ve got them.”

“I don’t know if they count."

See? Better example, although later on.

DensleyBlair said:
“It’s the oldest trick in the book! ‘Hide the teleporter and make a quick getaway when you hit atmosphere. Your captors will be too bloody stupid to search you properly’. And we fell for it! You fell for it.”

“I know, Stel. I’m not sure how it happened. But what’s done is done.

Again, the author is cheating here. There is a dissonance between two bounty hunters constantly referred to as good and experienced, and them funking up this random job so badly.

A dissonance so bad, the author noticed it (or deliberately wrote it that way for comedy) but then decided to try to weasel out of it rather than either rewriting the plot or making it slightly more clear that this is a deliberate dissonance for comedy.

DensleyBlair said:
Not one escape in seventy thousand standard years. That means something.”

This is inherently unbelievable anyway as its such an insane length of time for nothing to go wrong in, but for these two idiots, its even more so.

DensleyBlair said:
Imagine, if you will, a breadfruit.

Frankly, these openers keep getting better and better with their insanity.

Why isn't the whole story told like this?

DensleyBlair said:
The besiegers, as one, had noticed the flag waving from the northeastern portion of the cannon-dented city walls and felt a small seed of hope sprout up, their first in months.

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? To both sides!

DensleyBlair said:
Look, I know how this sounds, but a spirit appeared to me out of my chimney and said that there were other spirits trying to hunt it down and that they would come from the sky. I was wondering if you perhaps had enough gunpowder and shot left to fire a volley at their… ship of the air… when it approaches. You don’t have to believe me. But if you could just pass the message up and get your artillery ready to fire at anything if it does come from the sky…?”

“I… suppose I can pass that along. But… why do you care? Why should we?”

“These spirits… They seem solid. I touched one. They might need to eat like we do. If they do, their ship might have some food on it.”

“Isn’t the whole point of spirits that they are in fact not solid?”

First of all, the invading army believes this.

Second, the author is pointing out a dissonance again, and this time it is deliberate and it is for comedy.

It makes me want to view the previous issues more favourably as it seems the whole story is a farce of some kind, but the issue does remain.

DensleyBlair said:
The situation was desperate. Pure insanity would be entertained.

WHY ARE THEY STILL THERE THEN???

DensleyBlair said:
The wreckage of Stelles and Kildra’s ship rained down on the city and the army outside its walls (killing several people who have not featured in the story thus far and are therefore completely unimportant).

One final cracker of a paragraph starter to see us out. This story lacked a great deal of sense, but had good ideas, funnies and talent in there.

It could have used an editing sweep, I think. But not bad at all.

As for guesses...Well, it isn't me and it isn't Mr Blair (using he and him as default pronouns? Certainly not). Who else likes aliens and British comedy tropes and weird plots?

...

Oh...everyone here.

Bugger...who's next? I think ill follow Peter Ebsens path through the stories, for convience sake.
I suppose it was less 'in the bleak midwinter' than 'in the bleak late winter, but not really that late by European standards. Latish, I guess', when it came right down to it, but like you say, 2/3 ain't bad.
One of the reasons I haven't tried writing much over the years is that I'm very bad with dialogue. I'm even worse at third-person. I tried to make it easier on myself by not doing any "said John" or "Lucia muttered" stuff, which is something that really doesn't come naturally to me, but even so, I think the dialogue ended up being one of the biggest failures of the piece overall.
One moment when I had to decide how much I was willing to avoid doing another draft and just letting my first, strangest impulses take hold as opposed to actually improving the story was when I did in fact notice midway through that I was hyping these bounty hunters up to be tough, competent sorts while they were making first-person-to-die-in-a-horror-movie-caliber decisions, realized that having them make anything other than the stupidest moves possible would mean that the story likely wouldn't feature any cannonballs causing glorious spaceship explosions (and Dune references that I was frankly disappointed no one picked up on), and decided once again to just go with it.
In the end, it was a tale told by a college student, full of aliens and cannibalism, and signifying nothing. Peter probably should have written it off as "well-written drivel by someone completely off his rocker", frankly. I think everyone was probably far too nice to this piece.
 
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