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TheIronKing

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This is a story about King Cynewulf of Wessex.

He was a kingslaying, one eyed, one handed cannibal who lived to a ripe age of 73. He lived a tough life losing his first wife after a year to the flu and later getting cancer and losing an eye and then later catching the bubonic plague and losing his hand. These events altered King Cynewulf's mental state (or maybe it was his witch queen) leading to him to wish to weaken his granddaughters holdings. By first sneakily killing the Countess of Surrey and later straight out trying to imprison the Countess of Wiltshire. This didn't bode well for King Cynewulf with his granddaughter raising an army in rebellion which was swiftly crushed with some help from the Jews. Once his granddaughter was in his hands he quickly executed her and took her lands. During many times stranded in his keep due to various epidemics King Cynewulf became hungry which lead to him feeding on his courtiers, on multiple occasions which seemed to improve his sexdrive impregnating his wife even at the age of 73. Unawares to King Cynewulf these acts did not please his vassals or his son who ambushed him one day shooting an arrow through his shoulder and finishing him off with an arrow through his temple.

A wicked man may he will surely pay for his sins in the afterlife.

Great fun Paradox, keep it up.
 
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TL_

First Lieutenant
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I can't prove it, but I suspect my physician treating my sickly baby genius is the reason that baby grew up to be a lunatic homosexual.
 
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klopkr

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I had a pretty good character too.

Let me introduce you to Einaarr of Vestisland, the godslaying dickless pirate-viking.
gosBuDz.jpg

After inheriting from his boring cancer ridden father he came down with a bad case of the symptoms. Soon after he stumbled upon a prophesying Lombardi catholic priest willing to help him find a cure to what ailed him. As a brave man Einarr tried all of the papar's most wild treatments and soon found himself missing an eye, a hand, a leg, and his manhood. With the removal of his manhood he was finally cured of his mild cough Einarr found himself befriending the elusive Norwegian Blue parrot.
bqWXlJe.jpg

Even with his new feathered friend he couldn't quite shake the horror of losing all those limbs and slowly he fell into madness. But what is madness other than seeing things for what they really are? Soon Einarr found himself stairing face to face with madness incarnate itself! He had woken the mighty elder god from his sleep for the fun of it all! Being brave as he was he didn't allow minor things such as doom bringing ancients get in his way and rammed his mighty longboat head on into the beast. Soon he awoke on shore as a victor against the gods themselves.
wu7YJST.jpg

Like many great hero's before him Einaarr didn't get to enjoy his mighty triumph for long, as the one battle he could never win returned. The cancer had started eating away at his mangled body and within a year of slaying the terror from beyond reason Einaarr peacefully passed away in his sleep.
 
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Dakka

Provide Thee DUCC
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My court physician cured my flu by cutting my testicles off.
That's a Recommended Steam Review if I ever saw one.
 
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LordDamien

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At least yours did not decided to try to cure Consumption by.. Well the Picture says a 1000 words. Not sure why he thought that would cure me.. But I think my char was violated by his court physician
ck2_23.png
 
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