Golden Horde - Scourge From The East

[Duke of Wellington]

Soarom - No excuse is needed but unfortunately the rest of the world doesn't see it that way.

Grundius - No doubt, those uzbeks are everywhere.

Vann the Red - Cheers. I bet you thought India's status had to do with it's size didn't you But now you know the correct version.

J. Passepartout - A good idea.

The-Great-Dane - But Berker Khan being a Muslim fast food chain prefers not to deal in anything pork related.

Chief Ragusa - It is a big mess that is going to take quite some time and effort to clean I think.

Terraferma - I wouldn't be surprised if they actually come after me thinking they can win.

stnylan - I'd say thats a pretty safe bet.

Specialist290 - A good saying there . Hadn't thought of that with the Mughals, definitely something to take account of.

SunZyl - It is actually a real quote that is one of those cheesy ones that gets used by motivational speakers and guidance counsellors.

 

[GrimPagan]

A little diplo-annexing of your southern neighbours should help make your way, just remember "Speak softly and carry a big stick". Althought carrying a huge sword and shout seems to do the same in most cases.

And poking them with the huge sword usually brings around those who don't listen.

Brings around a lot of blood atleast. And screaming, oh god, the screaming. Why can't they die with diginity? Not like they were having that great life living in the mud. But do they show any gratitiude for realising them from their hellish life? Noooo!

... What was I talking about again?

 

[coz1]

Hmmm...you might just murder a cow right on the border. They might do you the favor of a DoW.

"Let them eat beef!"

 

[Storey]

All I can say is it's about time you got around to India!

Joe

 

[unmerged(54020)]

No Pork, then.

Chicken is good as well. Or turkey.

There are many animals to be slaughtered and enjoyed by mankind.

-TGD

 

[unmerged(58084)]

Yeah, and eating turkey can be a political campange against the Ottoman Empire ( known as the Turks ).

 

[unmerged(60725)]

Just go out and slaughter as many animals as you can find. That way you can have wars with pretty much everybody .

 

[unmerged(58610)]

There aren't any Uzbeks handy and Berker Khan wouldn't use them in their merchandise.

I think India is a longterm project for the Horde. They've more chance of two or three explorers than getting to India in Murtada's lifetime.

 

[billy bob]

A little diplo-annexing of your southern neighbours should help make your way, just remember "Speak softly and carry a big stick". Althought carrying a huge sword and shout seems to do the same in most cases.

And poking them with the huge sword usually brings around those who don't listen.

Brings around a lot of blood atleast. And screaming, oh god, the screaming. Why can't they die with diginity? Not like they were having that great life living in the mud. But do they show any gratitiude for realising them from their hellish life? Noooo!

... What was I talking about again?

Tell me the last time the Horde spoke softly and carried a big stick? Its always been charge them down and decapitate them with a big stick.

 

[unmerged(49083)]

The letters of insult to the following countries gives the horde CBs :

I think i'll be eating Turkey!
The turks think it means the Golden horde is going to devour them

Arghh, i'm feeling Hungary!
The hungarians are outraged by this and start hijacking schools so children don't know hungary exists so they can't make fun of them

Milan connection ain't working!
Duke of Wellington shouts this to his computer as his LAN connection messes up!

Swedens suck, they have lots of Swede!
Murtada plans a visit to Sweden and then he reaches a Swede Den (aka Sweden) and then he tastes some of the swedes and hurls madly!

UK mate?
Says to the United Kingdom, you ok? Just shortening it as an insult and then the cups of tea ask to have an alliance with the frogs and they refuse

 

[Duke of Wellington]

GrimPagan - Excellent ideas there. I do prefer a big sword and shouting though.

coz1 - A very appropriate saying.

Storey - That it is, here goes.

The-Great-Dane - uzbeks perhaps? The triple cheese and uzbek burger?

Tomczas - An excellent point. But would it mean I'd have to conquer Central America to ensure a supply of the poultry?

SirruShan - A true Horde philosophy there.

Chief Ragusa - Its a big area with many enemies, it will be quite a long term project I think.

billy bob - Precisely what I was thinking.

Walter Model - :rofl: Some great points there

 

[Duke of Wellington]

Murtada II : Part 8

The infamous Indian Berker Khan raid

An identikit picture of one of the raiders who wears traditional Indian dress

The people of Kerman revolt after the destruction of their favourite source of delicious meat​

This incident provided Murtada with all the excuse for war he needed. In fact its extremely convenient timing and Murtada's remark of "Excellent, it worked, that money spent hiring those Indian goons wasn't a waste", has led some to conclude that the khan orchestrated the whole event himself. Most though see through this conspiracy theory and place blame squarely with Malwa.

Whichever it is, is ultimately irrelevant for as the saying goes 'don't let the facts get in the way of a good war'. Murtada declared was upon Malwa and her allies Delhi and Bengal a week later. The Holy Golden Alliance was not called.

The warzone - Malwa is the orange provinces​

Evidence soon emerged that the Horde's neighbours may be engaging in secret pacts against her. For shortly after the declaration of war upon Malwa the dastardly Austrians came to their aid declaring war upon the Horde. For this second war the Holy Golden Alliance was also not called for the exclusion of Poland in the hostilities meant neither side shared a common border.

The invasion of Malwa's territory was all routine. The Indians resistance could be described as similar to an uzbek's intelligence, little to none.

It was still more than the war with Austria amounted to, as not a single battle took place. A white peace was concluded afer a year of nothing.

All of Malwa's provinces neighbouring the Horde were captured wthout incident. Numerous Indian raiding parties became a nuisance but no real threat as they were hunted down one by one and slaughtered. The only thing resembling a challenge came in the form of an invasion by Bengal.

The biggest threat of the war and not much at that​

By 1721 Malwa saw that there was not a chance of them regaining control of their former posessions and peace was concluded for all Horde controlled lands.

Persia after Murtada's first steps toward India​

Basrah was unfortunately dominated by religous heretics so the Ministry of Corrections sent their best men off to rectify the situation.

Damned Shi-ites​

After dragging on for many years now 1721 at last saw a conclusion to the war between the Danish and the uzbeks. But it was not the one Murtada was hoping for........

 

[Vann the Red]

No! Not an uzbek victory? That does not speak well of Danish martial prowess...

Vann

 

[unmerged(41688)]

No!!!!

 

[unmerged(49083)]

Now, Duke looks forward to KenTurky fried chicken

 

[unmerged(58610)]

Phase 1 complete. Onto the blue bits next. The dastardly Austrians seem to have as much grasp of reality of war as an Uzbek.

'Now, Austrians, just what is a common border? No, it is not a trick question.'
The Uzbeks win, which gives the Horde a good reason to go to America.

 

[unmerged(8065)]

Good job. Start trembling, Sub-Continent!

Me waiting to see the new Canada map

 

[Grundius]

Where's Malwa's capital? Good fighting btw.

 

[J. Passepartout]

Losing to uzbeks? Darn those Danes! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

 

[Amric]

Stupid Danes...must be dumber than Uzbeks...how else could they lose? I'm afraid the Danes will have to be vigorously punished...say with annhilation? Nice work with Malwa....only the capital left to go it seems...