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Too bad I don't have eu2 anymore, now that I'm free of router complications I could even do some MP 
Lord Skane - Thanks. There's still quite a way to the end yet its only 1749.
Tskb18 - True words those are.
Rotten Venetic - Tis always a shame to be without EU2.
Tskb18 - True words those are.
Rotten Venetic - Tis always a shame to be without EU2.
Though Goyo had overseen many gains for the Horde including the removal of the state of Tataristan he was surprisingly mourned by few. If Goyo had known this he might not have died with the smile on his lips for his legacy had always been amongst his top concerns.
However time stops for no man, even a Khan. And in times of war it can move on even faster than usual. So shortly after the funeral procession was over the Horde welcomed to the throne Goyo's nephew, Kuchlug.
Kuchlug also showed a personal interest in the running of the military. He therefore assumed control over large army and promptly ordered that all swords be washed in warm water three times.
Not a bad leader
Perhaps hoping that the ascension of a new Khan would be throwing the Horde into chaos the Ottomans declared war upon Ak Koyunlu, the Horde's vassal and ally.
Just what was not needed
For Kuchlug the new war was most unwelcome. For one it would leave the Horde's resources severely stretched as a huge portion of the world tried to wage war aganst them.
The world at war with the Horde
Eight different nations at war with the Horde
Thankfully both were accepted. Tibet found itself at peace again for nothing. Whilst the Blue Horde found itself with three provinces fewer (a number picked deliberately by Kuchlug).
The gains from the Blue Horde
Now it was time to focus on the war with the Ottomans.
Marvellous, as always. I love your aars, Duke, and this one is among the most hilarious ones I've read till now :rofl:. Doesn't this obsessive-compulsive disorder about numbers distract Kuchlug in the matter of his 'leader' stats? Their sum is a prime number...
Huh? Have I missed something here? 5+5+4= 14 which is NOT a prime number since it's divisible by two and seven. Still I'm sure the inability to divide these numbers by three is highly distracting for the young King. Will it be enough to prevent the king from massacring ottomans? Let's hope not. :rofl:Emperor_krk said:Marvellous, as always. I love your aars, Duke, and this one is among the most hilarious ones I've read till now :rofl:. Doesn't this obsessive-compulsive disorder about numbers distract Kuchlug in the matter of his 'leader' stats? Their sum is a prime number...
4 (days divisible by which criminals may be executed - 4th, 8th , 12th, 16th, 20th, 24th and 28th of a month) + 3 (number of enemies allowed to fight the horde or be divisible thereby) = 7 (a prime number).
This khan seems just the man to put the ottomans in their place.
This khan seems just the man to put the ottomans in their place.
Well, if you cannot use that hard won experience gained fighting rebellion so much over the years, what good are they then? Surely you have the toughest and most well trained uzbek killers on the planet. Just pretend the Turks are uzbeks. Not like that's a stretch.
Holy Shit :rofl:.Brettmo said:
Must have misread, 'cos I had thought it was 4-4-5 not 4-5-5. Sorry
. Next time, I'd rather look more carefully .
So only half the known world is fighting you...good stuff, Duke, and congrats on your award.
Duke of Wellington: ...Now it was time to focus on the war with the Ottomans.
splendid results ! !
magnificent update ! !
splendid results ! !
magnificent update ! !
Yes, magnifique! Now that the east is relatively calm it's time to teach the Ottoman scum a thing or two about warfare.
Lord Skane - It has been running rather a long time now.
Emperor_krk - Hopefully he isn't aware of that.
Brettmo - As long as only even numbers of Ottomans are massacred.
Chief Ragusa - Hopefully you're right.
coz1 - Pretend they're uzbeks? Its not pretending I really can't differentiate these days.
Emperor_krk - Well thats a relief.
Troelsdc - How big will it become?
Mettermrck - I know only half, its a disappointment really.
GhostWriter - Thanks very much.
Rotten Venetic - We will teach them many a thing about war. Or just three things perhaps.
J. Passepartout - Always important to have one I feel.
Emperor_krk - Hopefully he isn't aware of that.
Brettmo - As long as only even numbers of Ottomans are massacred.
Chief Ragusa - Hopefully you're right.
coz1 - Pretend they're uzbeks? Its not pretending I really can't differentiate these days.
Emperor_krk - Well thats a relief.
Troelsdc - How big will it become?
Mettermrck - I know only half, its a disappointment really.
GhostWriter - Thanks very much.
Rotten Venetic - We will teach them many a thing about war. Or just three things perhaps.
J. Passepartout - Always important to have one I feel.
Most people when asked about the origin of cross country skiing would answer Scandinavia. However this is actually a popular myth spread by Swedes seeking credit for it. The truth is that though the sport was popularised in Europe from Scandinavia it was first introduced to the region by Indians from Delhi during their war with the Golden Horde. Whilst marching for the capital in Astrakhan the hapless invaders became hopelessly lost and lacking horses they ingeniously turned their spears into crude skis.
Delhi - pioneers of skiing
But lets move on now to more pressing matters. The war with the Ottomans was beginning in earnest. As usual action was concentrated around a single front in the Caucasus.
Plenty of action on the single front. Kuchlug attempted to open two more fronts to bring the total to three but was unsuccessful
Being a Khan means always being in the spotlight. It therefore wasn't long before some noticed the Kuchlug's numerous odd behaviours. Soon many were calling the him an incompetent freak and laughing behind his back. Such as this joke that circulated.
Q: Why did Kuchlug cross the road?
A: Because he'd only crossed it twice so far.
All in all it caused quite a scandal in the nation and no small amount of discomfort for the young khan.
The scandal breaks
Although some good did arise out of the whole affair. It gave Kuchlug an added drive towards achieving great results in order to prove his detractors wrong. This soon showed itself as Kuchlug led fifteen men to completely rout an Ottoman army of twice the size in treacherous mountain terrain.
A nice victory
It was to be the first of many victories for Kuchlug. Soon the Ottomans trembled before the might of the Horde's armies who could move about with impunity whilst Kuchlug himself led a siege of the great capital of the Turks.
Stunning results for Kuchlug
When at last Constantinople was captured Kuchlug found himself faced with a Sultan literally begging for peace. Showing wisdom Kuchlug resisted the urge to take lands from the broken Ottoman empire (With the exception of Sivas which was handed to Ak Koyunlu for their faithful efforts in the war). Instead he granted peace on one condition. Vassalage.
Throughout the empire vast celebrations were enjoyed by all. Not in a long time had there been such an occasion as this for revelry. And truly it was a time for that. Relations between the Horde and the Ottomans had been intense for hundreds of years. A time that had seen both strong alliances, vicious rivalry and untold numbers killed on either side, the Ottomans would kneel before the might of the Horde.
In the Ukraine celebrations became particularly boisterous necessitating the sharpening of many axes an swords.
Fools
Even the usually reserved Kuchlug partied long into the night. Thus giving cause for celebration nine months later.
Why must babies take nine? Ten would have been a far nicer number.
Well, a successful war. I do wonder if vassalizing the Turk will truly quiet them. Surely they have too much filthy uzbek blood running through their veins to be docile for long.
That's a stunning result. Soon the Turks will be annexedandrthe weeding out of Uzbek blood can begin. How many other countires does Kuchlug have to vassalize to meet his own exacting performance standards? Blue Horde, Russia and Delhi?