Chapter I: Spain 1492-1507: Where Spain makes some magnificent gifts, fight evil frenchies and subdues even more evil aztecs,
Scene I.
'The Portuguese Ambassador, my beloved queen and king'
'Again?'
'We could didn't do anything. He insists in talk with our sovereigns'
'Again?'
'He insist in discuss the Spanish gift'
'Again?' (*)
And so the portuguese ambassador appeared, again, and the final Spanish Gift Treaty was signed. Portugal could receive the bereber provinces in southern Spain -for some strange reason, the portuguese got some skill in dealing with the moors-. In exchange, Portugal could happily become a vassal. And that was the last of the portuguese ambassador, for a brief time. Because he apparead again.
Scene II.
'We had received some very grave news, beloved queen and king'
'Again?'
'The Most Christian King not only had vassalized Savoy, as discussed with us, but they had vassalized Switzerland'
'Did we don't ask the frenchie there what he was wanting? Did they didn't told us that all they could did was vassalize Savoy?'
'So we did, but the Most Christian King never answered'
'Then declare war, and do not disturb us until we had won. Ah, and don't forget put the Great Captain -that is a name well earned- at command of troops. Under no circumstances should the dear Old Duke of Alba command a main field army'
'Duly noted and, may I say, extremely wise?'
'You are allowed to say so'
Scene III.
'We had some splendid news, beloved queen and king'
'At last'
'The Most Christian King had accepted our terms'
'Most gracious God. So what provinces or tributes had we won from France'
'Nothing beloved queen and king'
-beloved queen and king almost suffer a heart attack.
'They declared that they could not further advance in the Holy Roman Empire and that the reason of the war if all ambassadors and civil and military servants are not mistaken'
-beloved queen and king definitely suffer a heart attack.
After the heart attack:
'But how this is possible, with the Great Captain our troops had should sieged and taken Paris. Was he defeated? We could not understand that'
'No, most gracious queen and king. He always defeated any french force arrayed against him. His arquebusiers destroyed any french brave and foolish enough to go near them. But we didn't advance a lot in southern france and we battled in the frontiers'
'But how this is possible. You say to me that the Great Captain always won but we were unable to push further?'
'Indeed. And at some time, french forces even invaded Spain'
-beloved queen and king almost suffer, again, a heart attack.
'Maybe our military leaders had not informed our dear queen and king that the Old Duke of Alba -he could not be repressed- commanded our main army a few times. And that he was always defeated?'
-beloved queen and king definitely suffer, again, a heart attack.
'Well, we had decided to move all our military leaders to that lands some of our explorers had been putting under Spanish rule. We had heard that they found some strange nation that called themselves the Maya. Every single leader but the Great Captain. Ah, and you -our most dear servant- you go too also to those lands'
Scene IV.
'Sire, our indian informants had told us for what they use those nice pyramids'
'Ah, interesting, nice buildings but really I never understood their use'
'They took their prisoners to the highest point and then they open them and put out their hearts'
'Er, human sacrifice?'
'Yes, sire, our indian informants say that they could be quite happy if they changed masters for someone that could not sacrifice them'
'Hmm, so -actually- those so called aztecs are even more evil than us?'
'I could say that they even more evil than the frenchies'
'That I could stilll not believe'
And then spanish troops took the maya and aztec lands. And the indian subyugated for those bloodsucking evil masters were so happy to be put under spanish rule that all their troops inmediately changed sides and were put under spanish command(**). And we were so happy of their bravery, and their skill to learn how to use modern weaponry, that we shipped them back to Spain.
Some other things happened in the meantime (Spanish troops -together with Venetians- put an end to the unlawful and tyrannical rule of the genovese; and Naples decided that better than be a spanish vassal is to be part of Spain; and we took Navarra), but nothing that important how the facts already discussed.
(*) Sorry Aladar, but it was kind of funny to receive all days invitation to talk
)
(**) And so you can explain the strange fact that when you annex a nation you are the owner of all those troops, so the 30k mayan troops busy sieging some province were put under spanish command. And that uses the fact that the spanish used a lot of indian troops in their campaign. Poor indians didn't knew that -even without human sacrifices- spanish rule could be so dire for them. But we will not use that fact in the spanish version of events, right?