• We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.

stnylan

Compulsive CommentatAAR
127 Badges
Aug 1, 2002
37.167
4.212
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Hearts of Iron III Collection
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Hearts of Iron IV: No Step Back
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Darkest Hour
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • For The Glory
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
Not that the Dauphin has much choice, I imagine.

Historically I recall Moreau eventually defected. I wonder if we are seeing the process by which this will eventually happen.

As for self-checking, I often find it easier to write something and then leave it for a few hours - or perhaps overnight, and look on it again with fresh eyes. I also find reading things out aloud helps concentrate the mind on what you've actually written, helping you to pick things up.

Edit: rather silly typo (see Nil-the-Frogg's quote below) - we are not Methuselahs here!!! ;)
 
Last edited:

Nil-The-Frogg

Big fetid toad
11 Badges
Aug 19, 2004
1.190
0
nilthefrogg.canalblog.com
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • 500k Club
Last edited:

coz1

GunslingAAR
29 Badges
May 16, 2002
14.620
2.712
hearthehurd.typepad.com
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • PDXCon 2017 Awards Winner
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • 500k Club
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • For The Glory
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
I can't help but think you are setting something major with the Dauphin and their hopes to catch him. I find it interesting that thus far you have set up his captors well without ever truly explaining who they are. It keeps the reader guessing and leaves you much room to work. He at least seems to trust them more.

And the twin pangs of Moreau are definitely effective, showing personality and also describing events that have happened. Continued excellence. :)
 

Nil-The-Frogg

Big fetid toad
11 Badges
Aug 19, 2004
1.190
0
nilthefrogg.canalblog.com
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • 500k Club
Congrats for your nomination as WritAAR of the week, Quintilian
0014.gif
. You should hop by the apropriate thread in the "AAR" main subsection of the forum ;) .
 

unmerged(61559)

Electronically Handcrafted
Oct 8, 2006
199
0
Foremost, I would like to thank Coz1 for bestowing me with the honor of the Writer of the Week. As a newcomer to this forum, the award is really nice. At the same time, I also want to thank all the rest of my readers over the past couple weeks (especially, though not limited to, Nil-The-Frogg, stnylan, Bismarck1, and Duke of Wellington). The regular comments have been a great encouragement! That said;

Nil-The-Frogg – Thanks for congratulations on the award; I’ll be sure to pop into the thread… You also raise an interesting point about the content of the journals. It would be very foolish for my characters to write down many of the things they do. I suppose I’m taking dramatic license in that regard.

Bismarck1 – Well, I think the Convention would lie, steal, kill, and pillage to get the Dauphin back.

coz1 – Thank-you, sir. I want the Dauphin's captors / friends to be rather mysterious. If they are becoming well-defined characters without much detail, then I’m really excited.

stnylan – I’m glad you caught that Moreau is based on the real general. Though the general’s actions are a good background for the character, I’m not going directly by them. That is why I changed Moreau’s first name: I wanted a bit of freedom to mess around with his rank, life, etc. As for self-checking, I will try what you suggest.

Duke of Wellington – Indeed, happiness is in short supply. As for the Dauphin staying away from the radicals, I will say no more on the subject than what is in the below update. At least for the moment…​
 

unmerged(61559)

Electronically Handcrafted
Oct 8, 2006
199
0
shipswu5.jpg

War continues to shake the nations of Europe upon their foundations… At the same time, a plot begins to unfold in the colonies. Ultimately, if one proverb is wroth recalling in these days trouble it is that, “Things are not always what they seem!”

Chapter X

Captain’s Log, James McAlester (of HMS Glory)
Sailing off the Louisiana Coast

March 3 – Yesterday, a storm rolled in from the south, as is common in the West Indies. The gale blew us off our planned course and caused mild havoc upon deck. Crew is busy cleaning up the mess this morning… Despite the disturbance, we are making good time. The coastline we pass now is French.

March 5 - We had a notable encounter this evening. It was around sunset when Harker, John (able-seaman) perceived a ship on the horizon. We determined it to be unequipped for war and accordingly made a quick approach. The vessel, a merchant ship from the seditious colonies of America, offered no resistance. Thus, we boarded the craft and proceeded to collect both intelligence and supplies. In this manner, we learned that the French port at New Orleans has seen an increase in naval traffic… The American captain informed us that the "Mississippi" is closed to foreign shipping. Therefore, the merchant vessel was unable to draw much of a profit, for trade has dried up.

Journal of Jorge Valdez-Delgado (Private of Spanish Army)
Besieging Bordeaux, France

March 4 - … The city is built upon a lazy bend of the river Garonne. This turn in the river divides Bordeaux into two parts. Despite the natural fragmentation of defense in the metropolis, we have had a difficult time coordinating a successful attack… For the moment, the army has settled down into an old form of siege warfare. I am baffled as to why we do not make an assault on the fortifications that keep us aloof of the city. I can only hope that there is a method to the madness of my leaders and Lord.

Clipping from, Le Parisien of March 7 (French Publication)

Disposing of the Old Régime

A large crowd gathered near Avenue Montaigne in Paris by the dawn’s light. The rising sun cast a harsh glow upon the cobble stones, and this dedicated reporter was forced to endure agitating conditions for some time. Eventually, the sun reached a height where its rays no longer assaulted the eyes of spectators. It was around that moment that the Dauphin, looking bedraggled and dejected, was led out onto the stage…

Elevated many feet above the crowd, which had swelled to a considerable size, the stage held a guillotine. The killing machine's blade, which has not been used as often as it was during the reign of Robespierre in the past months, appeared to have been sharpened. Strangely enough, there was very little ceremony in the proceeding moments. The executioner merely thrust the hideous appearing Dauphin forward and shouted, “The would-be King!”

With that, the boy was thrown down upon the guillotine, from which position he uttered a most pitiful cry of remorse as the blade fell. The crowd cheered as the heir’s head was severed from its pedestal. It was surely an event that our ancestors will recall with republican pride...​
 

coz1

GunslingAAR
29 Badges
May 16, 2002
14.620
2.712
hearthehurd.typepad.com
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • PDXCon 2017 Awards Winner
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • 500k Club
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • For The Glory
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
Hmmm...I must assume that was not the real Dauphine. Could be wrong, but that is not the way it has been set up. They must assume they have little chance at catching him.

And it appears that the French have gain a strength in the colonies if they have somehow closed off the "Mississippi." ;) Nice use of quotes and general condescension from your diarists.

Finaly - the WoW is well deserved and thus why I picked you. Congrats once again. :)
 

Nil-The-Frogg

Big fetid toad
11 Badges
Aug 19, 2004
1.190
0
nilthefrogg.canalblog.com
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • 500k Club
Now, you get me really curious about what the French are scheming in America.

It's a good thing that Spaniards are taking their time in front of Bordeaux. I guess that your "Austria" army's taking forever to cross the country, eh? Probably one of the reason why EU2 isn't considered good at moddeling Nappy's area.

It was surely an event that our ancestors will recall with republican pride...
No doubts. What they would exactly remember and why remains to be determined though :D
 

Nil-The-Frogg

Big fetid toad
11 Badges
Aug 19, 2004
1.190
0
nilthefrogg.canalblog.com
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • 500k Club
Sory, coz, but I don't understand this: "... and general condescension from ...".
icon_redface.gif

I should really learn english. Well, I'm doing just that :) Care to explain ?
 

coz1

GunslingAAR
29 Badges
May 16, 2002
14.620
2.712
hearthehurd.typepad.com
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • PDXCon 2017 Awards Winner
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • 500k Club
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • For The Glory
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
Condescension - A patronizing superior attitude or behavoir

In other words - I like how the characters discuss certain events and circumstances with distaste. I flows naturally and certainly fits the time period and characters speaking such. :)
 

Nil-The-Frogg

Big fetid toad
11 Badges
Aug 19, 2004
1.190
0
nilthefrogg.canalblog.com
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • 500k Club
coz1 said:
Condescension - A patronizing superior attitude or behavoir

In other words - I like how the characters discuss certain events and circumstances with distaste. I flows naturally and certainly fits the time period and characters speaking such. :)
Ah, okay, thanks. That's close to "condescendance" then. :)
 

stnylan

Compulsive CommentatAAR
127 Badges
Aug 1, 2002
37.167
4.212
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Hearts of Iron III Collection
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Hearts of Iron IV: No Step Back
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Darkest Hour
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • For The Glory
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
I too doubt that is the real Dauphin, more likely an unlucky substitute. Still, a good move to muddy the waters.

I do think that Spanish private needs to realise some of the realities of assualting fortifications in this era. Unfortuantely, the only way he will learn is to do, and if he does take part the chances are he will die and therefore the lesson will be wasted. A nice little educational conundrum :)
 

Nil-The-Frogg

Big fetid toad
11 Badges
Aug 19, 2004
1.190
0
nilthefrogg.canalblog.com
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • 500k Club
Quintilian, if you hapen to hop by the forum, please, give us news. We might not know you but we do care anyway (well, technically, I do care, but I don't think I take great risks writing for others). Oh, and that would be even better if you had an update, but it's not required, really...
 

coz1

GunslingAAR
29 Badges
May 16, 2002
14.620
2.712
hearthehurd.typepad.com
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Imperator: Rome
  • Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • PDXCon 2017 Awards Winner
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • 500k Club
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • For The Glory
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
Indeed, Quintilion - here am I am trying to catch up and this was one I was most looking forward to doing so on. Any word?