Gnomes de Guerre, a Bavarian AAR

[Duuk]

*knock knock knock*

The writers sat at the desk, drowning their sorrows in Absolut Vodka mixed with Coca-Cola. The "Cola" was almost clear, so the mixer wasn't all that heavy.

*knock knock knock*

"I haven't even slept yet, and I have a hangover that is so bad that my headache sounds like it's coming from the door." The writer looked as miserable as possible.

"Dude, I think it IS the door."

At just that moment, a sheepish looking Trixie entered the room.

"Um, guys", Trixie said while twirling a lock of hair, "there was this um... mix up in the Neilsens. We confused your ratings with the ratings for 'Politically Incorrect'. Um, sorry. You're like, back on the air."

 

[Prufrock451]

woohoo! *starts highlighting in TV Guide*

 

[Duuk]

"Snarf, I don't think Ernst is going to think of it.", Sniggle seemed confused and sad.

"Well of course not Sniggle, Ernst is a hapless twit that hasn't had a unique thought of his own in almost 20 years. We're counting on Albrecht Staubing to have the brilliant idea."

* * *

"My Prince, I must admit that I am tired of making war. Our last peace was arranged nearly 10 years ago, in March of 1428. I was a young man when, as a simple Count of the Realm, I led your glorious armies into the Hapsburg lands. I simply want to stay peacefully in my County and never again wish to raise the banner of war." Staubing looked very tired.

Ernst looked a bit dazed, as if the idea that Count Staubing would no longer lead his armies was inconceivable. "But dear Albrecht, whatever should I do without you?" The concern in the voice of the Prince was real. If Albrecht left the court, then the dominions carved out by force of arms would be entirely in the hands of the Prince to govern.

"But we have a problem, Count.", the Prince continued, "Helvetia and Austria are still at war, as they have been for nearly 20 years. You simply cannot retire while two nations that WE seperate. I won't tolerate it. In fact, you will be named Chancellor of our Principality until such a time as the Swiss and Hapsburgs cease hostilities."

Count Albrecht Staubing looked stunned. Truly, Staubing had been unofficially "assisting" the Prince with decisions for nearly a decade now, but to be named as de facto ruler seemed to be a crushing blow. My wife will kill me for this.

* * *

"See Snarf, I knew that if you suggested that the Prince take more advice from Albrecht..."

At this point, Sniggle found himself laying on the floor again. Quite suddenly, as a matter of fact.

"You see Sniggle, this is wonderful. Now Staubing needs to find a solution to this mess, and almost nothing can stop the Prince from waiting while Staubing reaches the same conclusion we did!"

* * *

On the 3rd of July, 1438, Prince Ernst's patience ran out. He died peacefully in his sleep, without an heir. Without a mandate from the Prince, Count Staubing could no longer direct resources to finding a solution to the fiasco to the east and west of Bavaria.

 

[Secret Master]

Ahhh, the infamous "We will sit in a state of war for 20 years while doing nothing, so we can foil the human's plans" trick. Now I know why you feel there is a conspiracy against you!

Well done, and I'm glad you have taken up the torch, as it were.

 

[unmerged(6777)]

Do you notice that there seems to be a certain "cap" on AI-run country war exhaustion? I've watched France be at continual war for more than 50 years and for the last 20 their RR due to war exhaustion was +7 and it never changed. Cheat?

I love that you've separated the Austrians from the Swiss...but how can they both still be at war after all this time if there's been no action. Isn't it supposed to got to a white peace after 3 years?

I think the simplest solution to the whole dilema is to annex Austria so you don't have to worry about it anymore.

 

[Sorcerer]

I guess it's because the Swiss still control Tirol...

 

[Lord Durham]

"Mr Smithee?"

"Ah.. yes, Trixie?"

"I just came back from a meeting with those guys over in Studio G."

"Studio G? Oh, right, the Gnome project. How'd it go?"

"A little shaky, they received some wrong numbers from the Neilsons and were ready to pull the plug. One of the writers was even holding a gun to his head."

"I know the feeling. Look at the Genoa project. 12 Emmys and cancelled due to poor ratings. So what's the verdict?"

"Well, apparently they'll continue."

"Excellent. Did you have anything to with their decision?"

"I don't think so, though I did bring up a couple of solid points. I imagine that helped set them straight."

*choke...*

"You know, you really should see a doctor about that..."

 

[Storey]

Originally posted by Duuk


[OOC: Due to lack of anyone interested in this poor thread, I'll probably hold off on AARs until I can do one for the HOI beta.]

Duuk

One thing to keep in mind Duuk is that if you get half a dozen people to respond by writing to your AAR you're doing pretty good. Most just read and don't post. I finally had the time to read this one and have enjoyed it so keep going especially if you're having a good time writing it. The key is to have fun.


Joe

 

[Duuk]

Thanks Storey. I was planning to add a few more updates this weekend before I go on vacation next week, but Johan and Patric seem to have other ideas.

FYI: Additions to this thread will be slow next week while I'm in the Bahamas getting some sun and getting massively drunk on Central American alcohol.

Also, due to another committment on this website, posting may be slower than normal.

Rest assured that I've played this game through something like 1560 and the Gnomes are doing fine, even though they've had some unpleasant moments (PS -- I'm willing to hire someone to kill the French, CHEAP! ).

Next update tommorow night, I think.

Duuk

 

[Lord Durham]

Originally posted by Duuk
Thanks Storey.

Thanks Storey? Doesn't my rather inspired post count for something?

 

[Duuk]

ANY use of Trixie is always welcome.

Speaking of which, if she's available, there are some writers in serious need of stress relief...


Duuk