Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Paradoxians,
This is my second attempt at an AAR for a Paradox game, my first AAR over in HOI3 suffered from a severe case of meltyhardriveitis which led to it's total abandonment. It also put me off writing for a while which is a shame, so I've got myself back in order and I present now my Max Female Ruler Challenge:
The idea is very simple, between 1066 and 1453 to have as many years as possible a female character, and to make it interesting/fun/funny I have adopted a number of house rules, (all of which are open for discussion and may change as we go in which case they will be updated here).
House Rules
1) No Savescumming.
2) No Character switching.
3) No Culture-Switching (intentionally) and no use of A-Cog even if accidentally switched to Basque culture through a freak turn of events.
4) Vanilla, no female equality mods.
5) Role play all characters as far as possible, (If my Char is an imbecile lunatic then so be it).
Score is based SOLELY on the number of years between 1066 in which my Character is female.
Suggestions and help are always welcome, just comment here and I will reply to every comment.
Having said that, Lets get going:
This is me, Oanez of de Cornouaille. I came to be the holder of the counties of Nantes and Cornouaille in somewhat unlikely circumstances involving my titular investment as countess after the rights of the previous incumbent to the counties was waived by King Konan, simply as a place holder whilst he sought an eligible noble for me to marry who's heirs would then take the land as Counts of Nantes-Cornouaille. I am the daughter of one of his previous trysts as a teenage prince, and whilst it could never be proved that I was his kin it has remained an unspoken rumour all my life. Unfortunately for him once I received the fealty of the towns and bishophrics in my new lands I realised I had enough wealth and troops to ignore such demands, holding infact more land than he did, and being at least as popular with his unruly vassals.
After some ‘kingly’ grumbling, (Despite ruling over the entire De-jure territories of Breizh he is little more than a Duke in the Franks eyes), he allowed me to choose my own husband which was his first mistake…
My mother had always taught me that the Kings of Breizh were a corrupt and faithless bunch, and it was through their weakness for sins of the body and mind that we have been reduced to these last few provinces clinging to the edge of Europe. She made me promise that I would instead produce children who could one day not be kings of Breizh but instead Queens. Pure of mind and soul who would restore our ways and languages across the Celtic Realms and across as many of the outlanders from the east as possible. Now, I may be a cynic, but I will be honest with you, she struck a chord that few others ever had, I steeled myself and found a suitable husband. The 3rd son of a powerful duke from far off Croatia; Gavril was a mighty warrior if a little dim, too dim infact to read the small print on our treaty of marriage which specifically stated that any children of our union would bear my name.
I was feeling fairly smug with myself, and my victory over the chauvinistic dealings of men until the day he arrived for the wedding. I was overcome with feelings I have never before felt, I tried to relate the stirrings deep within me to the poems I was forced to read in my youth, but nothing seemed to apply to these somewhat more… carnal desires. Throughout the ceremony and accompanying feast I couldn’t keep my eyes from his. We shared not a language, but I could see in his eyes he felt the same. The marriage was consummated vigorously, I almost forgot to offer up prayers hoping for the daughter I craved:
That King Konan had given away a third of his kingdom to a woman, a woman who then defied him and invited foreigners into the land was too much for the other nobles in Breizh. They knew they couldn’t touch me whilst I enjoyed Konan’s protection, so they plotted his downfall, and almost to a man rose up demanding his abdication in favour of Konan de Rennes. I knew to keep my head down after that and stayed away from the politics of court, preferring to try to sire a daughter with my Lustful husband.
News reached us within a year of our marriage that Duke William of Normandy had had himself crowned King of England after a grueling campaign, although he still had to fight the Norse who ranged across great swathes of Northumbria. Such news was of little importance to me as I slaved – gladly – in the bedchamber in my maritial duties, however after 18 months together no child had yet quickened in my belly and I confess to looking around at other noblewomen with their swollen belly’s with envy, and looking at their big strapping men perhaps more enviously. Bardulf, the son of the count of Penthievre in particular seemed to return my flirtatious glances with a knowing smile. Then, god seemed to grant me a chance to act upon my impulses:
I knew I would miss the big Croatian but this was too good an opportunity to miss, and I was married again within days to Bardulf and happily consummated. I could already feel something had changed within me, and only days after the wedding, whilst I was still deciding on whether to retain or distribute my wedding tithes the Doctors confirmed: I was pregnant!
I basked in a pregnant glow, and at least initially was still able to go to the same lengths with Bardulf that I had with Gavril, but slowly my Belly grew larger and I was forced to take things easy. A brush with a heavy fever almost finished me in February 1069 but with the help of my Doctors and a good course of leeches combined with regular Priestswater baths I pulled through and in the summer was able to greet my Beautiful little Oanez to this world; If all goes to plan she will rule as Oanez II. But there was something wrong, it was clear to everyone present that she looked like her father in every tiniest detail, and not Bardulf. She was Gavrils daughter.
I held a feast to celebrate and Bardulf was gracious enough to allow Oanez to be known as Gavrils daughter, as after all he reasoned we would soon have more children of our own running around at the rate we were going. At the feast I was almost poisoned and to this day I have no idea who attempted such a murderous act, but my suspicions lay with the new King of Breizh King Konan III who bitterly hated me and despised me further in that not only was my heir a woman, but she was of my own Bastard dynasty. I resolved to improve my abilities in the arts of intrigue and after meetings with an old spymaster under the cover of night in the town I learned much to protect myself and my infant daughter from the terrors of a male-dominated world. Of course… I didn’t spend every night meeting with strangers in dark rooms. I spent a good amount of time meeting more conjugally with my husband in dark rooms:
My little daughter Maela was born in the summer of 1073, almost the same day as a new monarch took the throne in Breizh. King Konan III enjoyed the support of his fractious nobles because, as he was old an childless he stood in the way of none of their schemes to potentially one day inheirit the throne themselves. But just days before the old man died at the grand old age of 81 their came rumours from the palace: the Kings elderly wife had given birth, and Breizh had a new ruler, I approved of her at once:
This sat poorly with the nobles, who joined behind my father in law to proclaim him king instead, as a loyal daughter in law I joined the rebellion, and sent my men to fight, which lasted just months. As the queens limited forces were crushed across Breizh and her castles were seiged. Soon we had another monarch, and on the 12th December 1074 King Edouarzh was crowned as King of Breizh, long may he reign! I should have known things were going to well when my doctors told me and my husband that once again I would be a mother:
Count Jafrez of Vannes rebelled against our new king but was rapidly put down by our levies, and as I heard news of his imprisonment in St. Malo’s dungeons by my Father-in-Law I felt the now familiar cramps and contractions begin as my body prepared to welcome a new daughter to the world. The next few hours passed in a blur of pain, incense, screaming and terror. I should have known something was wrong with this child, and I passed out as he was finally birthed. I came to not long afterwards, with my husband cradling a child, now cleaned and wrapped in swaddling clothes.
“What will we call her?” I asked, “It’s only fair that you choose this one’s name my love”
“Thankyou!” He replied, “I was worried I would lose the both of you for a long while, and whilst I prayed all the while to the virgin to save you, I kept thinking how lucky I would be to get you back alive.”
I smiled, and kissed his hand. He look at me, and said some awful words:
“I was thinking we call him Felix.”
NEXT TIME ON 'Girl PowAAR' - A Change of Heart! Mad Bishops! Intrigue! Scheming! Coming of Age!
This is my second attempt at an AAR for a Paradox game, my first AAR over in HOI3 suffered from a severe case of meltyhardriveitis which led to it's total abandonment. It also put me off writing for a while which is a shame, so I've got myself back in order and I present now my Max Female Ruler Challenge:
The idea is very simple, between 1066 and 1453 to have as many years as possible a female character, and to make it interesting/fun/funny I have adopted a number of house rules, (all of which are open for discussion and may change as we go in which case they will be updated here).
House Rules
1) No Savescumming.
2) No Character switching.
3) No Culture-Switching (intentionally) and no use of A-Cog even if accidentally switched to Basque culture through a freak turn of events.
4) Vanilla, no female equality mods.
5) Role play all characters as far as possible, (If my Char is an imbecile lunatic then so be it).
Score is based SOLELY on the number of years between 1066 in which my Character is female.
Suggestions and help are always welcome, just comment here and I will reply to every comment.
Having said that, Lets get going:
This is me, Oanez of de Cornouaille. I came to be the holder of the counties of Nantes and Cornouaille in somewhat unlikely circumstances involving my titular investment as countess after the rights of the previous incumbent to the counties was waived by King Konan, simply as a place holder whilst he sought an eligible noble for me to marry who's heirs would then take the land as Counts of Nantes-Cornouaille. I am the daughter of one of his previous trysts as a teenage prince, and whilst it could never be proved that I was his kin it has remained an unspoken rumour all my life. Unfortunately for him once I received the fealty of the towns and bishophrics in my new lands I realised I had enough wealth and troops to ignore such demands, holding infact more land than he did, and being at least as popular with his unruly vassals.
After some ‘kingly’ grumbling, (Despite ruling over the entire De-jure territories of Breizh he is little more than a Duke in the Franks eyes), he allowed me to choose my own husband which was his first mistake…
My mother had always taught me that the Kings of Breizh were a corrupt and faithless bunch, and it was through their weakness for sins of the body and mind that we have been reduced to these last few provinces clinging to the edge of Europe. She made me promise that I would instead produce children who could one day not be kings of Breizh but instead Queens. Pure of mind and soul who would restore our ways and languages across the Celtic Realms and across as many of the outlanders from the east as possible. Now, I may be a cynic, but I will be honest with you, she struck a chord that few others ever had, I steeled myself and found a suitable husband. The 3rd son of a powerful duke from far off Croatia; Gavril was a mighty warrior if a little dim, too dim infact to read the small print on our treaty of marriage which specifically stated that any children of our union would bear my name.
I was feeling fairly smug with myself, and my victory over the chauvinistic dealings of men until the day he arrived for the wedding. I was overcome with feelings I have never before felt, I tried to relate the stirrings deep within me to the poems I was forced to read in my youth, but nothing seemed to apply to these somewhat more… carnal desires. Throughout the ceremony and accompanying feast I couldn’t keep my eyes from his. We shared not a language, but I could see in his eyes he felt the same. The marriage was consummated vigorously, I almost forgot to offer up prayers hoping for the daughter I craved:
That King Konan had given away a third of his kingdom to a woman, a woman who then defied him and invited foreigners into the land was too much for the other nobles in Breizh. They knew they couldn’t touch me whilst I enjoyed Konan’s protection, so they plotted his downfall, and almost to a man rose up demanding his abdication in favour of Konan de Rennes. I knew to keep my head down after that and stayed away from the politics of court, preferring to try to sire a daughter with my Lustful husband.
News reached us within a year of our marriage that Duke William of Normandy had had himself crowned King of England after a grueling campaign, although he still had to fight the Norse who ranged across great swathes of Northumbria. Such news was of little importance to me as I slaved – gladly – in the bedchamber in my maritial duties, however after 18 months together no child had yet quickened in my belly and I confess to looking around at other noblewomen with their swollen belly’s with envy, and looking at their big strapping men perhaps more enviously. Bardulf, the son of the count of Penthievre in particular seemed to return my flirtatious glances with a knowing smile. Then, god seemed to grant me a chance to act upon my impulses:
I knew I would miss the big Croatian but this was too good an opportunity to miss, and I was married again within days to Bardulf and happily consummated. I could already feel something had changed within me, and only days after the wedding, whilst I was still deciding on whether to retain or distribute my wedding tithes the Doctors confirmed: I was pregnant!
I basked in a pregnant glow, and at least initially was still able to go to the same lengths with Bardulf that I had with Gavril, but slowly my Belly grew larger and I was forced to take things easy. A brush with a heavy fever almost finished me in February 1069 but with the help of my Doctors and a good course of leeches combined with regular Priestswater baths I pulled through and in the summer was able to greet my Beautiful little Oanez to this world; If all goes to plan she will rule as Oanez II. But there was something wrong, it was clear to everyone present that she looked like her father in every tiniest detail, and not Bardulf. She was Gavrils daughter.
I held a feast to celebrate and Bardulf was gracious enough to allow Oanez to be known as Gavrils daughter, as after all he reasoned we would soon have more children of our own running around at the rate we were going. At the feast I was almost poisoned and to this day I have no idea who attempted such a murderous act, but my suspicions lay with the new King of Breizh King Konan III who bitterly hated me and despised me further in that not only was my heir a woman, but she was of my own Bastard dynasty. I resolved to improve my abilities in the arts of intrigue and after meetings with an old spymaster under the cover of night in the town I learned much to protect myself and my infant daughter from the terrors of a male-dominated world. Of course… I didn’t spend every night meeting with strangers in dark rooms. I spent a good amount of time meeting more conjugally with my husband in dark rooms:
My little daughter Maela was born in the summer of 1073, almost the same day as a new monarch took the throne in Breizh. King Konan III enjoyed the support of his fractious nobles because, as he was old an childless he stood in the way of none of their schemes to potentially one day inheirit the throne themselves. But just days before the old man died at the grand old age of 81 their came rumours from the palace: the Kings elderly wife had given birth, and Breizh had a new ruler, I approved of her at once:
This sat poorly with the nobles, who joined behind my father in law to proclaim him king instead, as a loyal daughter in law I joined the rebellion, and sent my men to fight, which lasted just months. As the queens limited forces were crushed across Breizh and her castles were seiged. Soon we had another monarch, and on the 12th December 1074 King Edouarzh was crowned as King of Breizh, long may he reign! I should have known things were going to well when my doctors told me and my husband that once again I would be a mother:
Count Jafrez of Vannes rebelled against our new king but was rapidly put down by our levies, and as I heard news of his imprisonment in St. Malo’s dungeons by my Father-in-Law I felt the now familiar cramps and contractions begin as my body prepared to welcome a new daughter to the world. The next few hours passed in a blur of pain, incense, screaming and terror. I should have known something was wrong with this child, and I passed out as he was finally birthed. I came to not long afterwards, with my husband cradling a child, now cleaned and wrapped in swaddling clothes.
“What will we call her?” I asked, “It’s only fair that you choose this one’s name my love”
“Thankyou!” He replied, “I was worried I would lose the both of you for a long while, and whilst I prayed all the while to the virgin to save you, I kept thinking how lucky I would be to get you back alive.”
I smiled, and kissed his hand. He look at me, and said some awful words:
“I was thinking we call him Felix.”
NEXT TIME ON 'Girl PowAAR' - A Change of Heart! Mad Bishops! Intrigue! Scheming! Coming of Age!
