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TheButterflyComposer

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I feel like Ged should have a complex about needing to rule the Netherlands. Or if he rules ‘Nedland’ maybe he thinks he already does and it’s a constant source of bemusement
Depends how aware he is. Being as he is from 1066, initially, he should even know what the Netherlands are as a concept. PTM might, but given that PTM is

A) Swedish
B) evil
And
C) an agent of chaos

I doubt it will mind him naming somewhere else Nederland. Especially as in the earliest start, which is currently 867AD, western Europe is still split between the three carolignian successor kingdoms. I could interfere, but I'm rather curious who ends up winning the dogpile between nations (considering that last time, in the tutorial, it was Poland and Hungary).

One thing I must mark in CK3's favor with the new Northern Lords DLC is that its made Scandinavia much more chaotic and divided. The peninsula is full of one county states, fighting each other, raiding other realms for gold and goods, and setting up much larger kingdoms far away. This may be because I set them to apocalyptic mode (PTM's words) but I'm still bascially impressed Pardox made vikings and norse history simulate that effectively...and that was explicitly what they were trying to do as well.

There must be something wrong or terribly broken somewhere, and I'm sure we'll find it at some point.
 
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Nikolai

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What about Gederriki, as opposed to the eastern Gardariki? :p
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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What about Gederriki, as opposed to the eastern Gardariki? :p
That's the nordic name for the kingdom of the rus. Its in the wrong direction for Ged to go if he wants to formalise hellenism and thereby adopt feudalism...but would require us fighting through the whole of the viking world just to get there. So...maybe.

Funnily enough, Ged's first Ireland (the tutorial game) ended up taking over the whole of continental Europe following the extremely unwise election of Ged the Fourth to Holy Roman Emperor (we got in on a technicality, owning one county in the empire). I think the electors wanted us to solve the problem of OP Poland for them, whilst absorbing another lesser empire in for the bargin.

Well...we certainly dealt with Poland for them. And everyone else. Including the germans. Game ended with the papacy controlling the whole Italian peninsula and Sicily (serious case of Irish worship there in the Holy See. They adored us for some reason and were firm constant allies). Hungary was massive, comprising itself, Romania, the various Slovakias and Czechs. The byzantine empire had the balkans locked down, had restored their empire to its former glory and were in the middle of beating the Persians and the unified caliphate all the way back into India.

We owned Western Europe, the western med islands bar sicily, Scandinavia, Brittania, Eastern Europe and the whole of Russia. We had just finished purging the empire of non Irish people and were thinking about chasing the slavic people who escaped into siberia when the game ended.

All in all, the EUIV conversion that will never happen would involve some edwardian sized empires in the old world...
 
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Nikolai

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I KNOW!

Nederworld, as Greece/Hellas is way down south! :D
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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Rename the kingdom of Italy to “Boot” and Sicily to “Rock”

Edit: And the Empire of Hispania to “Square.”
That entire region is going to be full of border gore, at least for some time. Hellenism revival requires specific counties to be controlled by the faith, so random one county or duchy splodges of the med in the future.

With random names, of course.
 
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Knuf Wons

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When you start naming desert lands (around Carthage and Alexandria) you should name them after the traits of sand. Like Coarse, Rough, PTM, Geds-Everywhere...
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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When you start naming desert lands (around Carthage and Alexandria) you should name them after the traits of sand. Like Coarse, Rough, PTM, Geds-Everywhere...
Don't necessarily need anything else in that area but if we ever become a space filling empire just taking over the entire North African coastline, then will bear in mind...

For bureaucracy and stability reasons, the initial conquests for the reformation of hellenism are all likely to be placed under the care of one guy based in Sardinia.
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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Interesting news from the latest few dev diaries. First of all, that paradox are going all in on this Royal Court business because they're adding 3D court animations and 'scenes' for the next expansion. That could well be something added to in every patch subsequently, and of course, has the chance of going hilariously wrong with custom characters...

The actual idea of having artifacts and riches on display in your courtroom would be very interesting. CK2 of course had an armoury of sorts where you could see what your dynasty had made, nicked and 'found'. It was mostly only good for 'equipping' arms and armour like an RPG as well as stat bonuses from books etc.

This though seems different. You can actually see the items rendered and maybe interact with them a bit more. CK2 hated items passing from their original owners, often having to pay for upkeep or costs try losing priceless valuables whenever someone died. True to history of course but I want hundreds of terrible suits of armour made by Omar the Daft, thousands of slightly different swords by Freud the Phallic, and many millions of books collected in a library.

What does this mean for Ged? Well, of course, it means:
A) I get to design the flags in the throne room scenes (oh.....oh yes)
B) I get to flood my heirs and relatives (and random passers by) with as much junk as I can make, steal and 'find'.
C) I can finally create a custom family coat of arms. Maybe. This still hasn't been confirmed despite it being in existence since at least November 2020. Fuck you Paradox you swindling basatards trying to make it one whole dlc by itself you fucking fucks! Don't pretend like it's not what you're trying to do!
 
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Nearly 900 images are currently being uploaded from my first stint as Ged 2.0. I'm actually going to have to write this now...September has snuck up on us as it is want to do.

I also do have many thousands of images of test games and other unrelated games of experimentation that may or not come in handy if I have a joke or point to make about CK3 (one image in particular comes to mind but we'll see...).

Thankfully, whilst CK3 landed one year tomorrow, Ged was three days late to the party. So I do have a bit of time for an anniversary of sorts...depending on which one I'm trying to hit.

Barring calamity of Paradox proportions, tune in tomorrow for the Return...
 
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Ged’s Existential Nightmare 2

A Note on Crusader Kings III

Well now, here we are again after…could it really be one whole year? Time has certainly flown by. The world has changed drastically. Darkness looms once again as the colder seasons return to our shores.

And Crusader Kings III is still, very much, a cosmic horror show.

Many of you will remember this, from the last time we took some unwise and unsteady steps down the launch-day version of the game’s tutorial section. Who could have predicted what we would find? A competent teaching method? An effective albeit sadistic taskmaster? The frankly ugly as sin grey on grey text boxes that continue, for some reason, to exist a year later?

Of course, that is not all we found. There was a game there too, one I was already uneasy about having come from the overstuffed sandbox of CK2. And yet, we all fell deep into the pit, and liked what we found there. Here was a masterful patchwork of historical simulation, familial dynamics, chaos, human idiocy and brilliance. The game is most certainly a Paradox childe, albeit a heavily favoured and well-looked after one.

And we all remember what happened next. A ridiculous amount of launch sales. Hundreds of gaming awards and player acclaim. More people than ever discovering grand strategy, and CK strategy, for the first time.

Which leads us to AARs.

There was a lot of new people looking for more about their new favourite game. And they showed up in droves to read any and all stories about the wild and wacky things people were putting their poor characters through. Many even decided to spend hours of their life reading a story about the tutorial character.

These people have since been medicated, and gotten the help they so desperately needed.

There was controversy of course. Not only from players of CK2, which was to be expected, but also from AARland (which is a thing, if you did not know). CK3 was many things, but connected to the old Paradox forum system…it sorta wasn’t. This did not in fact spell the deathblow of either CK3 AARs or the wider AARland space, but it took a great deal of time for tempers to cool on both sides.

Now, of course, we are one year into what promises to be a long development cycle of DLC and expansion. Paradox have thus far shown restraint, releasing many large and far-reaching patches, and only one paid expansion (the Northern Lords, which we will get into later). However, soon (very soon in fact), another will drop, and the market will be truly established.

Will this game be warped and changed as much as CK2? I do not know, but I suspect so. Where will that take us in three years’ time? China? The Americas? CK2 has threatened such things before and never delivered entirely…but one thing is for certain.

CK3 is only just getting started. As are we, dear readers. The Nightmare is, as ever, only just beginning…

‘…I commend your pains,

And every one shall share i’ th’ gains.

And now all about the cauldron sing,

Like elves and fairies in a ring.'

'...By the pricking of my thumbs,

Something wicked this way comes…’

-Macbeth, Act 4, Scene 1
 
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jak7139

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Hopefully everyone's favorite Irish family is doing well. At least, as well as they can be in a Medieval chaos simulator.
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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Hopefully everyone's favorite Irish family is doing well. At least, as well as they can be in a Medieval chaos simulator.
Fine is relative, but they certainly will be a huge clan based off the fertility of this mega man.
 
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Cora Giantkiller

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Can't wait to see the madness.
 
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eoncommander

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Very exciting stuff.

These people have since been medicated, and gotten the help they so desperately needed.

Are you sure? I mean, it would be nice for everyone involved, but... [looks around at thread comments] I dunno.
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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Can't wait to see the madness.
This time its not so much explaining the actual game, more the more extreme religious and cultural options, as well as pushing the game to the absolute limit.
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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Very exciting stuff.

Are you sure? I mean, it would be nice for everyone involved, but... [looks around at thread comments] I dunno.
Well so far only three people have fallen off the wagon soso.I suppose the therapy didn't stick for everyone.
 
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Nikolai

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Well so far only three people have fallen off the wagon soso.I suppose the therapy didn't stick for everyone.
Now now, I promise you I am well. Very well. Extremely. So well, in fact, that I am practically jumping. No, don't mind those guys eying me warily. I am fine. Fine, I tell you. Seriously.
 
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