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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning


Second Lieutenant
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Aug 10, 2009
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Some time ago, in a parallel dimension that was...parallel


Episode II​


It is a boring time for the world.
It is January 1st, 1936, and not much is going on.
A new political party "You Damn Right" has gained incredible support
in the USA, and has just seen its first candidate, Gary Busey, win the presidency.
The freshman president takes the first step in a journey that will shape the entire world.

**In the Oval Office:

Gary Busey: Wow, this place is nice! I can definitely get use to this president thing. I need to decide where I'm going to frame today's newspaper.

**Today's newspaper:


Gary Busey: Let's see...do I want it in front of my desk, so I can admire it everyday, or do I want it in front of the door, so everyone that comes to see me can admire it? Hmph, this job is hard! I mean talk about difficult decisions. I'm in here for five minutes and...wait a second...I can put up two copies of the newspaper. It's the best of both worlds! I knew the people elected me for a reason, and this is a clear example...

**knock, knock

Gary Busey: Huh? Come in.

????: Hey, Gary.

Gary Busey: Egon! I completely forgot you were coming by. I knew I was forgetting something about why I was here this morning. Speaking of morning, did you see today's newspaper?

Egon: Yes...you sent me seven copies of it.

Gary Busey: Oh yeah, about that, um, I'm gonna need one of those back. I just got this great idea about putting up two pictures of that newspaper. One here and one over there. Get how great this is going to be! It's the best of both wor...

Egon: Gary! You know I love you like a brother, but I've got to cut you off right now. If I don't, we will spend the first year of your administration doing interior decorating. We need to setup your administration, remember? Or did you forget how during your inaugural party, you celebrated a little too much, and fired everybody?

Gary Busey: And? That's what I do.

Egon: I know. I know what you do and I, more importantly, also know what you don't do. That's why I've already selected individuals to fill out the vacant seats in your administration. Obviously, we both have our roles, but I take nothing for granted with you, so I shall reiterate our positions.



Gary Busey: You're Head of Government, really?

Egon: What do you mean "really?" We just spent the past year and half campaigning for this! Remember?

Gary Busey: Don't worry, Egon. I'll take your word for it.

Egon: Moving on. Your Foreign Minister:


Egon: General Zod can be a bit bull-headed at times, but he's also a no nonsense individual that takes nothing from anyone. He will be perfect for the times we really need to flex our muscle on the international political stage.

Gary Busey: Sounds interesting. I think I could like this guy.

Egon: Next, you might notice your Armament Minister:


Gary Busey: Tony!

Egon: Gary, I must stress, you're the president now. You really shouldn't be pulling all nighters anymore. May I remind you of the Montana incident? You were the first presidential candidate to be banned from an entire state.

Gary Busey: And? I still won the state in the election. Tony said I was too chicken to a drag race. That was a challenge, and be it in a middle of a crowded parade or not, I don't turn down challenges. Period. End of story.

Egon: Fine. Here is your new Minister of Security:


Gary Busey: That's a kickass mullet. He sports it well! That's really all I need to know. I approve of him.

Egon: He seems very qualified. He virtually entirely responsible for single handedly cleaning up the Double Deuce.

Gary Busey: Double Deuce? Is that one of those random countries in Africa or something?

Egon: Goodness, Gary. The Double Deuce is actually...nevermind. Yes. It is an African country.

Gary Busey: I thought so. Is that it?

Egon: No. Next, we have your Head of Intelligence:


Egon: I picked Emmet because he's been in the intelligence business for years, and not even I can count the number of suicide missions he's been sent on.

Gary Busey: So he's that good?

Egon: Yes and no. He has, for years, routinely failed every training exercise and test know to man, yet he somehow always manages to complete a mission he's tasked with. In some ways, he reminds me of you.

Gary Busey: He is a handsome devil. Let's speed this up. I need a nap.

Egon: Okay. Here is your Chief of Staff:


Egon: Gary, this man is most likely the greatest military mind the world has ever known, and will ever know.

Gary Busey: He looks pissed.

Egon: He has no sense of humor whatsoever. The two of you may not always...okay, neither of you will ever see eye to eye, but you're going to need him, Gary. When dealing with him, listen, and don't be...eh, just don't be you.

Gary Busey: Egon, come on, how about a little faith? Who's Montana's number one president? (points to self) You damn right! Remember, I made that our slogan and party name for a reason. I can make things happen

Egon: Oh, you can definitely make things happen. Next, we have your Chief of the Army:


Egon: He's hard but he's fair. He has a bit of a thing for marines, but, overall, a solid choice, if I may say so. He does yell a lot though.

Gary Busey: I'm getting very sleepy.

Egon: Fine, here is your Chief of the Navy:


Gary Busey: He's blue.

Egon: Perceptive, aren't you? This guy is the greatest naval strategist in the history of ever.

Gary Busey: Okay, but he's really blue. I might have to be in photographs with him beside me or something.

Egon: This guy is probably the best Grand Admiral there ever was. He almost brought the New Republic to their knees. If not for an unforeseen betrayal, he would have succeeded. If you just consider the legion of fanboys alone, he's worth...

Gary Busey: (yawns)Whatever. I'll give him a shot.

Egon: Good. Finally, your Chief of the Airforce:


Egon: This guy has been schooling kids on how to fly, and by default, die in the air for years. I can't find a better man to command our flying forces. Not only that, but he's also...

Gary Busey: Wonderful. I approve of them all twice. Now, it's time for a power nap.

Egon: Gary, we've scheduled a meeting with them to begin shortly. We got to plan the direction the country will take. You know, that whole doing what we were elected to do thing?

Gary Busey: Egon. Power. Nap. Now.

Egon: Jeez. Make it quick.


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Admiral Thrawn....

With him in command of the navy, will we see carrier aircraft with deflector shields? :rofl:


Looking forward to an interesting AAR,



Second Lieutenant
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Aug 10, 2009
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MajorMayhem: Thanks!

RolandRahn: Well, with approximately ~210 new leaders and ~40 new units (amongst other things), you can count on seeing some interesting things :D

Sangeli: I honestly have no clue who Admiral Adama is, but I refuse to be out-geeked in my own AAR, so Admiral Adama wasn't included because it would be game breaking. ;)


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Nice to see Grand Admiral Thrawn come down to earth...maybe he can come up with a destroyer...a star destroyer...a super star destroyer! And on another note, I find it hard to believe Gary Busey could get elected dog catcher in Butte, Montana let alone President of the USA. But its your AAR, nice to see General Zod moving out of the Phantom Zone and moving up in the world.

Sir Zeus

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I honestly have no clue who Admiral Adama is, but I refuse to be out-geeked in my own AAR, so Admiral Adama wasn't included because it would be game breaking. ;)

Think Battlestar Galactica...

oh and lol, just lol


Second Lieutenant
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Aug 10, 2009
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blsteen: Gary Busey is a political dynamo...in an imaginary parallel dimension.

Sir Zeus: I've never seen Battlestar Galactica. Shhh...don't tell anybody.

FrodoB: Thanks!

I forgot to give some game details in my opening post, so here they are:

Difficulty: Hard (custom - basically I will have hard combat settings/penalties)

Other settings:

IC = +50%
Resources = +50%
Supply throughput and naval base efficiency = +200%

IC = +100%
Resources = +100%
Supply throughput and naval base efficiency = +200%

Goals: Have fun. Not world domination(seriously).
Mods: the Gary Busey mod


Second Lieutenant
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Aug 10, 2009
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**20 Minutes later in the White House Conference Room


Gary Busey: Good morning, gentlemen. I’ll call to order this first meeting of the Busey Administration! All those who are worthy to witness and participate extend their right hand and prepare for the sacrifice of…

Egon: What the hell are you doing?

Gary Busey: The meeting. I’m calling it to order. We’ve got to have each individual’s blood sacrifice to seal their oath. We discussed this earlier this morning. Remember?

Egon: No, we didn’t.

Gary Busey: Yes we did. It was…oh wait! It wasn’t you. I went over that with my reflection in the mirror this morning while I was shaving. We both agreed it was an excellent idea.

Egon. It’s not going to happen, Gary. Put the dagger down.

Gary Busey: But…

Egon: We’ll talk about it later. For now, we’ve got other matters to attend too.

Gary Busey: Then how about sprucing this place up a bit? Guys, I’m thinking about hanging my favorite self designed campaign poster directly behind me.


Egon: As if it didn’t cause enough controversy while campaigning, is it really necessary to beat that dead horse?

Gary Busey: It was an aggressive campaign. Emotions ran high. Franky understood this. I threw him a fair well party and he did come to it. Everything is cool now.


Egon: And he left it in an ambulance.

Gary Busey: Minor details. Anyway, the poster is staying.

Egon: …Gary…

Gary Busey: Alright. That pretty much knocks out what was on my agenda for the day, so I guess we’re done. Anybody got a deck of cards?

Egon (stands ups): Gentlemen, thank you for being here this morning, and for your commitment to this country. We have a long road ahead of us, and I have no doubt that we will face hardships along the way. To prepare the country for these times, we must first gauge what our needs might be for such situations. That is the agenda on the table for today.

Gary Busey: I want the USA to be number one! I’m a winner. I don’t need any losers, so if any of you guys are hippies, the door is over there!

Egon: …Right. Another way to word that is we are striving to keep the USA as top player in the economic and industrial fields, and also raise the USA to such levels in the military department. We need your thoughts and needs on these goals. Zod, you’re first.

Zod: *sigh* The planet USA does not need to associate with other weak and foolish planets. I will trade away abundant resources to gather wealth, and I will report events of note from other planets, although, I doubt much will come from such pitiful planets. We should be working to have them sub come to our will. They should kneel before us.

Egon: Noted. And, Zod, lighten up. Tony.

Tony: We need to drastically increase our industrial capacity before we even attempt to make some sort of modern military force. I’m canceling all current projects and redirecting resources to this task exactly. We need more IC and we need a lot of it.



Egon: So you want to whore IC?

Tony: Egon, please. I prefer to say we’re going to Gary Busey’s mother IC.

Gary Busey: …What? Why are you all looking at me?

Egon: Good ideas Tony. Dalton.

Dalton: I will personally rip the throat out of any captured foreign spy with my bare hands.

Gary Busey: Hell yeah!

Dalton: I suppose, between cigarettes, I can train other guys to spy on other countries.

Egon: Okayyyy. Dalton, let me know if you need to talk to somebody, or if you just need a hug or something. Emmet.

Emmet: Zzzzzzzz.

**Dalton elbows Emmet**

Emmet: I agree!

Egon: Emmet, whenever you find the time.

Emmet: Ah, yes. Uh, well, I’ll be doing secretive spy stuff. It’s all very secretive.

Gary Busey: Emmet, I have some jobs for you. See, I figure, we need intel on other countries, right? Well, what better way to get that than have people defect to us? Promise them big important positions in the military, or whatever it takes. Just get them to get over here. As of now, you will find targets in: Germany, Ireland, Australia, USSR, Japan, Italy, India, Cuba, United Kingdom, and China. Names and details are in this file. (hands Emmet a file)

Emmet: This is written in crayon.

Gary Busey: Yep, I compiled it myself. Get to it!

Egon: I don’t even know what just happen. Kimsley.

Kimsley: Thank you Dr. Spengler. Mr. President, we need a complete overhaul of our military machine. I use ‘machine’ in loose terms. We have nothing more than a handful of battalions equipped with outdated potato guns. Prior to our meeting today, I met with my senior commanders, and we’ve already worked out the details on the military’s needs. We need to drastically research new technologies. First, so we can catch up to the modern world, and, secondly, so that we may be able to surpass our potential enemies. Once this is accomplished, we can begin to produce a modern military. My subordinates will provide further details.

Egon: So you want to research everything? At Once?

Kimsley: Exactly.

Gary Busey: We just need greater education. I did wonders for education during my campaign by showing our children are resources to cherish and appreciate.


Egon: It was impressive. First ever presidential candidate to get a restraining order while actively campaigning.

Gary Busey: Hey, Egon, what about that Seth kid that’s your apprentice or something?


Egon: Seth Brundle is brilliant, and he could handle all these projects, but distance is an issue. He can’t be multiple places in a timely manner, and that’s a problem.

Gary Busey: You said he made those teleporter thingies…

Egon: They’re not fully tested yet, and might still be very unstable.

Gary Busey: Like I care. Just do it.

Egon: You remember this! Gunny, you’re up.

Gunny: We don’t have one damn marine! What do I have to work with? I bunch of maggots, that’s what! Oh, but we’ve got a new world coming, and we’re going to need a special kind of marine to handle that. I demand immediate research and development for this. It doesn’t matter too much that we have no marines, because even if we did, we don’t have anybody to lead them. While development begins, I will begin recruiting leaders for the soldiers we will have. I will sit down now, but will continue to be intimidating. Semper Fi!

Egon. Gunny, make sure to see the doc about that blood pressure. The country needs you in good health. Thrawn.

Thrawn: Good morning to all. Our naval situation is in dire straits. The most viable option is to scrap the majority of it, and rebuild it with the basis of some form of strategy. It’s worthless in its current state.


Thrawn: Egon, this file contains details on the necessary research needed in developing the modern navy the USA will require to succeed. During the meantime, I plan on personally recruiting qualified naval commanders for our new navy. I will also begin to develop more detailed strategies to utilize against other countries naval forces. Mr. President, I have heard you speak of being an amateur artist, yes?

Gary Busey: I am a man of many talents.

Thrawn: Wonderful. May I see your work sometime? I believe much can be derived from an individual’s art just as it can be observed from the art of a particular culture. With that, I can prepare a strategy that will be better integrated to accommodate your overall command of naval forces.

Gary Busey: Well, here. Take this. I spent the past month working on it. I call it The Busey Lisa.


Thrawn: My god in heaven…

Egon: Get use to it, Thrawn. Viper. You want to help us wrap this up?

Viper: I would be honored. Gentlemen. Mr. President, the air force currently has hardly any association with the air, and definitely no relation to force. We should be at the fore front of modern aviation, and I will make that happen. It will require monumental efforts, but we can achieve it. First, Tony, we need to immediately redirect some resources to the construction of a test site:


Gary Busey: Look at that! We’re going to develop a torpedo with wings AND it has a mounted cannon that appears to fire 3 lb shot! I’m for this! Do it!

Viper: That decides that. Besides that, I will also begin recruiting proper commanders for what will be our new air wings.

Egon: Well, gentlemen, I believe we got a lot accomplished today, and, unless anyone has something else, we will…

Thrawn: Excuse, Dr. Spengler.

Egon: Yes.

Thrawn: I need to personally meet with you and your staff to discuss the development of personal command craft for myself.

Egon: No problem. How about tomorrow?

Thrawn: Perfect. General Kimsley, takes this new map marker. It will be needed in the future to designate the position of my command ship on the strategic world map, so please, hold on to it. (slides marker across the table)


Gary Busey: Hmm. I need a personal command ship too. Egon, get in my office right now. End of meeting people. Go do whatever we just talked about.


Second Lieutenant
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Aug 10, 2009
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**some time around June**


Gary Busey: I have called this meeting because I have no idea what is going on.

Egon: Gary, you’re just a figure head, we planned this from the beginning. You liked the idea of not actually having any responsibility.

Gary Busey: Oh, that…I’ve changed my mind. I had a dream when I passed out the other night. Fabulous told me that…

Egon: Fabulous?

Gary Busey: Yes. Fabulous. He’s a unicorn.


Gary Busey: He told me I was destined to achieve greatness. I told him I had already done that, but he said I was destined for even more greatness, so I got excited.

Egon: I know you like your psychedelics, but this is just…awww to hell with it. Run with it Gary.

Gary Busey: I’ll start with you first. Tell me something I need to know.

Egon: Eh…your term is only four years, so we’re a little pressed for time to cover that entire question, but things immediately relative are some of advancements in new technology.



Egon: We made some significant advances in aeronautical techs during May…

Viper: Woohoo!

Egon: …and we also have developed radio detection equipment, and have just recently gained the ability to field engineers.

Gary Busey: I should care because?

Viper: Remember all those cool planes I told you about?

Gary Busey: Oh yeah.

Viper: This will help make them happen.

Gary Busey: Sweet! How does that radio stuff work? Is it like a P2P network or what? And engineers, seriously? We need fighters and marines…

Gunny: Oorah!

Gary Busey: …we don’t need a bunch of geeks running around like you, Egon.

Kimsley: This will aid in the development of assault weapons, Mr. President.

Gary Busey: I like that. Talk to me, Zod.

Zod: All those who are weak have been removed from my staff. We kneel before no one.


Zod: In the past few months there has been the occasional event of note from time to time.


Zod: Feb. 17, Ethiopia kneeled before Italy. We were surprised to discover that anyone had kneeled before Italy, that is, until we learned more about the planet Ethiopia.


Zod: Apr. 13, the planets United Kingdom and France raced to see who could kneel before Germany the fastest.


Zod: Apr. 18, King George V of the planet United Kingdom kneeled for the final time.



Zod: Apr. 27, Spain has decided to make itself kneel. What a strange planet. Not to allow odd behavior to go unnoticed, the planets Soviet Union, Italy, and Germany all decided to aid in planet Spain’s attempts at self kneeling.





Zod: May 16, Edward VIII made a preemptive kneel in his life.


Zod: June 22, planets Italy and Germany finally got a room. That is all. I am bored now.

Gary Busey: Cheer up, Zod! Here, have some gummy worms. Tony, what’s up?

Tony: Uh…yeah, we’re still just building stuff right now. Not a whole lot going on.

Gary Busey: Well, no gummy worms for you then.

Tony: Dude!

Gary Busey: I don’t want to hear it. Dalton, make me happy.

Dalton: I personally used my patented three finger throat snatch and rip out limit break on various spies in the past few months.



Gary Busey: That’s what I’m talking about, Dalton. You scare me and amaze me at the same time. Question though, what’s the deal with some of these countries?

Dalton: Hard to say. Most of them don’t say too much when I’m holding their larynx in my hand.

Gary Busey: Damn! I bet you’re hardcore even when you sleep!

Dalton: My mullet never sleeps.

Gary Busey: Touché! That’s double gummy worms for you. Suck it Tony!

Tony: *shakes head*

Gary Busey: We need to be mindful of some of these dirt bag countries sending spies on our soil. I mean Canada, really? What do they think we’re going to do, steal all their trees? And Dominican Republic? I don’t even know where that is. I’ll let it go for now, but if it keeps up, I will unleash the fury. Emmet, whatcha got?

Emmet: Umm…I didn’t think you would actually be here today…so why don’t you just skip me for now and come back at the end. Oh, but I will take my gummy worms now. Thank you.

Gary Busey: That’s reasonable.

Tony: What?

Gary Busey: Military guys, it’s your turn.

Kimsley: Mr. President, I will speak for all of us. We are making some progress, but overall, our military situation is still in the most horrible of conditions. Things will take a long time, but we will achieve our goals. The most that has been done are various strategic redeployments of the few existing divisions we currently have. We have made considerable headway in recruitment of heroes to command our future forces. We plan to begin producing full reports in the future. That is all. Thank you, Sir.

Gary Busey: That’s okay. I still have gummy worms for everybody. Emmet, we’ve come full circle. We need good news about your world tour.

Emmet: Allow to just start out by stating how ridiculously amazing I am. I’ve managed to recruit some of the best generals that other countries have to offer. I’ll give a brief description about all:

Capt. Nathan Algren: I found him in Japan. He’s a white guy BUT he’s also a samurai. I figured we gotta have this guy.

Col. Claus von Stauffenberg: German fellow. I got his attention by winking at him. He went on and on about how Hitler must die and something about winged women with spears. That sealed the deal for me.

Everlast: I took a wrong turn and ended up in Ireland some how. While attempting to get the hell out of there asap, I encountered him just jumping around. He said he came to drop bombs. That’s what we need.

Lèon: A French guy that has a no surrender policy. I couldn’t believe it either, but here he is, and with us he will be.

Michael J. ‘Crocodile’ Dundee: He eats alligators for breakfast. He hunts them with only a knife and a rock or something. He’s some kind of Australian shaman. I figured, why not.

Mad Max: This is Max. He’s mad, but in a totally cool way. He can drive anything in the wasteland that’s Australia, so I’m guessing he can drive anything in battle too.

Capt. Marko Ramius: He was tired of acting like he enjoyed embracing his inner commie, so I signed him up. He’s a Soviet on the outside, but an American on the inside. He also says he will bring his on kick ass submarine.

Super Mario: I planned on taking a short cut in Italy and ran into this plumber. He sounds a little funny and really hates turtles, but all around a good guy. Some claim his real name is Ron, but I verified that it’s Mario.

The Great Khali: I didn’t want to go to India, but I ended getting stuck there for a short time anyway. Apparently, the have ogres there and they call them Khali. We have our own ogre now.

The Monkey King: Total impulse decision, but what else is there to do in China? I haven’t actually met or seen this guy. I just heard his name, and was all, “oh you damn right we’ve got to have him.”

The Shredder: I knew there was a reason to go to Japan! This guy promised to teach us the secret art of ninja! He only wanted a safe place away from watchful eyes to live. He also wanted to rebuild his clan he called ‘The Foot.’ I started day dreaming about our armed forces having ninjas and eventually ended up promising him Florida, but we got him, and that’s what matters.

Tony Montana: I love this guy. He made the trip to Cuba worth while. He talks a little funny, and is a little hot headed, but I’m very happy with the choice. He would prefer to be stationed in or around Columbia/Bolivia.

V: This guy right here changed my opinion of the UK. He just wears this mask that is cool and a little creepy at the same. At first, I thought he might be some sort of pansy, then he totally jacked somebody up with these daggers he had. Sold!

Vassili Zaitsev: This Soviet can shoot anything from anywhere, anytime, with anything. He took out a wolf from four kilometers armed only with a sling-shot firing tic-tacs. We had to have him.

William Hung: I mean seriously, what else is there to do in China? Loose bets. That’s what else there is to do, and that’s what I did, so now, this guy is ours. We can’t send him back. I don’t think he’s a total loss. He does bang.



Second Lieutenant
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Not Admiral Adama - I vote for Commander Adama from the original series, and Commander Cain for Chief of the Air Force.

Interesting start.

no, just no
the original blowed, the re-make is kick-ass
female starbuck ftw!
admiral adama ftw!
cains dead ftw!
and umm, epic lol at the rest of this AAR, espciall the chief of the army :D

LOL, vasily zaetsev, super mario and mad max, crocodile dundee, forgive me, ur missing steve irwin, but regardless i may have just jizzed myself


Second Lieutenant
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Aug 10, 2009
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Colonel Bran: All I will say is that I was not joking about the 210 new leaders I added, so stick around.

shwarzhelm: Sorry, no Steve Irwin. He didn't cross my mind when I was setting this thing up. Oh, and here's a hand towel. ;)


Hazy Moon
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I'll be watching this one closely, especially since you got major brownie points for including Thrawn. I like ridiculous stuff like this from time to time.


Second Lieutenant
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Aug 10, 2009
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**It’s Decemberish


Gary Busey: Score! Ha ha! Kimsley you play foosball like a blind girl. It’s not even a challenging embarrassing you over here.

Kimsley: You cut the feet off of all my little player people.

Gary Busey: Don’t try to make excuses or change the subject! You’re horrible at this game. In the history of horrible, you’re…

Egon: Gary, can we begin the meeting, and finish the foosball game later?

Gary Busey: Oh, alright. Hey guys. Sorry for starting an hour late, but Kimsley was desperately needing a much deserved lesson in ass kickingology.

Kimsley: It was a great idea to put a foosball table in the President Staff Meeting Room. Rigging the game in your favor was not, however.

Gary Busey: Somebody please get Kimsley a tampon. I’ve got a meeting to conduct here. While I’m at it, I want to personally thank you all for making the first National Halloween Party a huge success. I promised the people a good time, and the people said, “what the hell, we’ll give this guy a chance,” so I had an obligation to provide this for them. It’s the things like this that make us winners. Kimsley, I even thank you, despite your costume stinking it up pretty badly.


Kimsley: It was the scariest costume I could think of. The idea of it literally gave me unpleasant dreams.

Gary Busey: WHERE’S THAT TAMPON!? Anybody? Egon, help. Change the subject or something. I don’t understand that man, and I can’t deal with that anymore right now.

Egon: Wait! Something is actually getting to you, Gary? Are you sober?

Gary Busey: I don’t want to talk about it!

Egon: You are! Aww, is reality getting in the way of all your fun? Hehe, okay, I’ll leave you alone. Besides that, I don’t really have much. Military guys, you will be happy to know we developed improved infantry methods, so you should be able to send young men to effectively kill other young men in mountainous areas now.


Gary Busey: Zod, what hell is that!

Zod: An individual from the planet Columbia displeased me. They will not do it again.

Gary Busey: …So you staged a fake assassination attempt? I like the message that sends.

Zod: There was nothing fake about it. The minions I must use to perform my biddings are fools! It disgusts me in many ways. I wish to discuss other things now.



Zod: The planets Hungary and Japan joined the Axis planetary alliance.

Gary Busey: I wish our country practiced irony like those Hungary folks. You would think they would have a ton of starving people there, but no. They’ve had like zero famines in I don’t know how long. They just get to walk along on the world’s stage saying, “we’re Hungary…but we’re not – Ha!”

Zod: I agree. They should practice starvation more.




Zod: The planets Soviet Union, Italy, and Japan all made their private sectors kneel to them.

Gary Busey: Nationalize the private sector? We should do that. We’re in America. Our private sector should be American by god! We can make it American by nationalizing it so it won’t be some other country, like Europe, anymore!

Egon: Um, Gary, that’s not what that means. Nationalizing the private sector is essentially having the government take over that sector. It’s commie pinko stuff.

Gary Busey: The Devil! Not on my watch and not in this country!


Gary Busey: Ban them all! Ban them right in their face! I don’t even want to talk about it again. Tony, you’re up. Save the good stuff for last. *winks*

Tony: Egon, you will be happy to know we have completed construction of the rocket test site. Have fun blowing stuff up.


Egon: Woohoo!

Tony: I’m happy to say that we have approximately sixty industrial facilities ready to open their assembly lines and start producing.


Tony: While this is progress, it is nowhere near what the quantities we will require, which fall somewhere in between ridiculous and overkill. We learned a lot about construction over that past few months.


Tony: So I have immediately commissioned the construction of more IC. I figure IC is like beautiful women with really nice…teeth. You can’t have too many of them.





Second Lieutenant
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Tony: These new facilities should be ready much faster than previously possible. Gary, I'll let you handle the ‘big’ unveiling. It’s your ‘baby.’

Gary Busey: Thanks, Tony! Team, we were discussing Hungary earlier, and, long story short, I don’t want our people to starve. We need our men and my women to be well fed. I believe Washington D.C. is as good a place to start at this task as any.



Gary Busey: Is McBusey’s what this country needs? You Damn Right it is! After the Washington D.C. restaurant is completed, it will be able to serve 100,000 people a day. People with full stomachs have more energy to build stuff. Once it’s done, you can count on all our meetings being catered with McBusey’s awesomeness too! Dalton, how much ass have you kicked lately?

Dalton: My demonstrations with spies in the previous months were in vain to some extents, so I had to regulate on a few spies again these past months.


Gary Busey: Dominican Republic again! And Haiti again – twice! How in the hell is this happening Dalton? I mean neither of those countries can have much more than a single canoe with a broken oar to try to sneak a spy into our country. And they’re not even that close to us! I mean I need a ruler and some sort of magical comprehension of math to figure out how far away they are!

Dalton: I’m not entirely sure in the reasoning behind their attempts. In an effort to curb stomp this, after ripping out each individual spy’s throat, I mailed them back to their respective country.

Gary Busey: High five!

Dalton: You know it!

Gary Busey: Emmet, what’s going on in the world?

Emmet: Lots…probably. First, I would just like to point out that Super Mario has been overwhelmingly accepted and loved as one of the countries newest generals. He’s even been on the cover of the greatest national newspaper. I recruited him. Remember that people.


Emmet: Other than that, Spain has been kicking the crap out of…Spain for that past few months. Here’s a month-by-month play of how that fiasco is playing out:






Emmet: As you can see, it’s a battle of different shades of brown. Oh, and Portugal thinks the whole thing is hilarious, but other than that, I don’t feel this situation is of any importance.

Gary Busey: What happen in August?

Emmet: The same thing that happen in July. I didn't forget to make a picture of it or anything like that...I just wanted to avoid being...redundant. Yeah, redundant.

Gary Busey: I hear you, Emmet. Alright, Kimsley you’re…hey, where did all the military guys go?

Egon: Kimsley took his staff and left.

Gary Busey: How could he? Why?

Egon: I will venture a guess that cheating him in foosball, followed by a round of insults might have played a part. Making childish faces at him during the meeting probably didn’t help either.

Gary Busey: Geez, what a woman.

Egon: He left a summary of his report with me, but I don’t think you noticed. It was when you began snorting pixie sticks.

Gary Busey: It turned my snot blue!

Egon: Amazing, I know. Anyway, the military guys are making progress in recruiting appropriate leadership, and are still waiting for much needed advancements in technology to begin actually producing military hardware. I think he was rather offended by your actions.

Gary Busey: He might be crying right now, but I don’t have time to care about that. What really matters is that we finished early so we have some free time! Who’s up for foosball?