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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Hyena Dandy

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In the Game of Chair Things, you either die a hero, or you live long enough to become a villain

-Sean Bean (maybe)




Now before you correct me about the fact that that's almost certainly not the right quote, I suggest you reread the title of the thread.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I simply decided, on a whim last night, that I would give an AAR of Game of Thrones a try. I then realized that I've never seen Game of Thrones.

I asked Rhett Butler for his suggestion, what I should do and where I should go. He told me he didn't give a damn, and I decided neither did I. So, in the spirit of good old American can-doedness, I am forging on undaunted.

Now, I don't know a lot about Game of Thrones, but what little I do know tells me that it features Sean Bean, and therefore he almost certainly dies. His IMDB page tells me that the character he plays is Eddard "Ned" Stark, who, if internet memes serve me, comes from a long line of weather forecasters.



Consulting with an off-hand thing, I determine that the Game of Thrones show takes place "17 Years after Robert's Rebellion."

Okay, sure.

After doing more math than I have any desire to, I decide that 8297 is about a fair time to start, Probably before the series, but whatever. Might even be after! I'm not sure! I'm Sean Bean, I'm going to get killed off anyway, so I might as well do what I want until then.

Okay, so. As I've admitted, I have no clue what's going on here. But I do understand the basics of CK2, and I doubt this game will confuse me too much. Let's try to figure this out.




...

I have no clue who any of these people are...

Okay, so. Poking around, Lyanna was my sister, Brandon my brother, and I'm going out on a limb and thinking father... Is my dad.

That's fair.

Okay, so, now I have to figure out who the king is. I thought I was the king, but it seems that I just have a gold outline. In fact, the king is Robert, who likes me despite our religious and cultural differences. What a cool guy. Brave, gregarious, bearded, possibly Brian Blessed. Everything you could want with a king. Hope nothing bad happens to him, 'cause his heir looks like something of a douche.

I consider raising to Robert the fact that "Ned" "Robert" and "Brandon" don't sound that fantastic when I know for a fact that this setting has a Daenerys in it. I then check our kids, and decide we probably had this conversation already, since I put an extra B in my son's name, and he switched the "e" in Jeffrey to an O. We're taking things slow.

Shame he couldn't do something about the Craven and Cruel... Kid's got troubles. Maybe I can help knock that out of hi-



Okay, no.

It looks like Joffrey's dad's afraid he'll be hostage of a foreign power. I'm your friend! I'm even called Hand of the King apparently! That's probably a good thing! You can trust me... Oh, fine, my pleas go unanswered. Guess the kid's just gonna be a dick.

Well, I hit "Long Live King Robert" and am on my way, to a land of adventure!

A week and a day in, and King Robert wants my help to legalize First Night.

Look.

Bobby.

You're 34.

You have 7 kids already.

Perhaps you can give your royal scepter a break, huh?

Anyway... That's kinda skeezy.

You got issues, Bobby... Real issues.



And now, a little later, these two holy orders are restored. I'd say "Huzzah!" but that's not my religion. "Boo?" I don't know. Boo might piss off the king, and I'm played by Sean Bean here.

I'm now given a chance to say "Long Live the King" or "Curse his Name"

Peasant-pouncing aside, he's still my buddy for reasons that I'm sure are elaborated on in the books. Yeah, I don't want anything bad to happen him. I got a bad feeling about that Joffrey kid. If I wasn't so Just and Honorable, I'd look into ways to make sure he takes a long walk off a short balcony, but darnit, I'm committed to roleplaying this guy I know nothing about! And I feel like that's not his style.

Soon, the time comes to look into educating my son Brandon. The King wants me to have him educated by Stannis of the Stormlands. And while I like some good alliteration as much as any nobleman (I'm noble, right?), he won't let me smack some sense into Joff, so I'm not letting him turn my kid into a Stormlander Seven-Worshipper by him. Sorry, Bob. I'm taking this one myself.

Now, my son Robb is also unmarried. And I'm really wanting to have him married off to this girl Daenerys, because she has white hair. And I have a thing for people with white hair. But upon double-checking, it seems she's pissed about my usurping a title. Also, labeled as Princess of the Iron Throne, and I am at least 85% sure that she's not Robert's kid. It may mean giving up on a future of sexy white-haired family members, but Daenerys (mind if I call you Danny?) I've got to pass on this one.

Instead I contact my buddy King Robert. Hey, Bobby. I'm thinking, you got an unmarried daughter named Mya, I've got an unmarried son named Robb. How about we solve each-other's problems.

Well, Bobby seems cool with it, so they swiftly get married.

...

Which I believe causes my son to become chaste.

Well, that wasn't my intention. But whatever. I tell him to go train, maybe it'll get his blood up. Fortunately, this doesn't hurt him or anything, and now he's slightly better at smacking things. Looks like we're doing good so far.

I'm calling this a success, followed by a nap.
 

Pelican Sam

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Look.

Bobby.

You're 34.

You have 7 kids already.

Perhaps you can give your royal scepter a break, huh?
:rofl:

Good start! I became a little confused as some parts when you were talking about Joffrey (the way things were phrased made me think that maybe you were playing as Robert and not Ned, but that might have just been me), but I liked it on the whole. I look forward to the next update!
 

DennisRoos

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This is hilarious for to someone who has read the books. I laughed very hard when King Robert immediately tried to institute First Night. You're roleplaying Eddard very well. It would indeed not be 'his style' to chuck kids of balconies. This is actually somewhat of a plot point in the books, though not with Joffrey. I'm not sure how much info about the books I should give, since your ignorance makes this AAR hilarious, so I'll let you figure out yourself why Daenarys hates you. You might want to be careful who you marry Robb to, because I'm pretty sure Mya is a bastard child of Robert. His only 'official' children should be Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen.
 

Hyena Dandy

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I've now advanced 10 days into February. Presumably, it's not called "February" in Game of Thrones. So I will go with a more Fantasy-term. 10 Days into Dragon-February, I've decided to open up a conversation with my son's new wife, Mya. For one thing, it's come to my attention that he has a pet wolf. Dire wolf, even. Yeesh, my parents wouldn't get me a hamster and this kid's dog can deal 1d8+10 every hit. I go contact my wife Catelyn, to suggest that maybe we're overdoing it just a bit with the pets, but apparently we can't un-give him a dire wolf, so whatever. But don't come running to me when we get our throats ripped out, or even worse, fleas.

Okay, moving on.

Still, I'm trying to play things safe right now. Nothing much is going on, so I ask my Marshall what he thinks we should do. He quotes Futurama and tells me we'd be fine unless war were declared.



Oh.

War were declared.

Looks like Good Old Bobby is declaring war on the High Septon, in the Iron Throne/The Most Devout de jure war over The Most Devout. Well, I'm not overly worried about the faith of the Seven, but I'm EXTREMELY worried about pissing off Bobby. So, war it is, against Bobby's religious head.

Guess he didn't like the peasant-pouncing plan either. See, man, I told you it was skeezy. Now the pope is rebelling, and I've agreed with the King to send my troops to deal with it. And by "My Troops" I do of course mean "Raise some vassal levies."

And sorry, Howland Reed, but you're the least North guy in the North, so that's your business. Hey, when you run a cardinal direction, you can call the shots.

But, I am a brave and honorable man, and I'm still going to fight. And I'll insist on doing the honorable thing, and having Howland lead some of his own troops, despite the fact that there's better people for the job. On top of that, the third flank leader will be a guy called Greatjon. Why? Because, look. He's called GReatjon. He must be, at the very least, pretty good. 21 Martial doesn't hurt. Plus, IMDB tells me he's played by Clive Mantle, who was Little Jon in Robin Hood. Is it possible to be typecast as someone named "Jon"?

Well, this war turned out to be a whole lot of nothing, because I was still in Rushmoor when it turned out we won. Thanks for making me raise my troops for nothing, Bobby. And the news only gets worse, as Maester Luwin tells me that Robb (I'm gonna go with calling him Double B, so I don't mix him up with the King) has lost one stewardship. So, that happened.

Now, the time has come for me to determine how I want Sansa educated. Checking her out, it turns out that she's betrothed to Joffrey, and... I'm going to reiterate my point... He looks like a MASSIVE DOUCHE. I decide to have her trained for command, in case he tries to pull something. And sorry, Septa Mordane, but I'm gonna handle educating her from here on out. Because as it stands, she's Proud, Trusting, Content, and Shy, and that doesn't bode well for the future Mrs. Douchebag. Time to get a backbone, kid.

This reminds me, I might as well go on looking at betrothals, 'cause I don't want to get left in the dust. Next legitimate son of Robert up for the throne after Joffrey is, according to this handy post someone made on this thread, Tommen. Okay, I was cool with Joffrey, but adding "men" to just plain "Tom" isn't fooling anyone, Robert, and this is coming from the guy who thought two Bs would help Robb. Goofiness aside, I suggest Arya gets betrothed to Tommen, so that likely no matter what, the king's going to have a Stark for a wife.

After Maester Luwin lets me know that Brandon has gained some learning, I decide to get a new ambition. Well, I want to choose "See our house on the Iron Throne," but that doesn't seem too Ned Starky of me, and I should prbably be content to sit back and predict weather changes. But, mark my words, at some point, a Stark will sit on the Iron Throne.



Yeesh. He'll probably have to put down some cushions first.

Instead, I decide to pick up a new hobby, because my "Giving wolves to children" hobby wasn't taking off.

Checking in on Robb, he and Mya are very much in love, which is good news. Apparently, he got over that "Shit, gotta be chaste!" thing quick-like.



Very quick-like.

(He even makes his daddy proud by going one-letter off of Janessa. Good kid.)

Now, it's time for me to look into Arya getting a private tutor. I decide this time NOT to go for the military, because, well, I'm broke as a expletives. Instead, she's educated at court, and I borrow some cash from the Iron Bank.

By the end of February, Brandon's become both Kind and Gregarious, which is good. I'm raising a likable little tot, here, and to give him a chance to chat some more, I decide to hold a feast. To start with, I'm going to need some Boar meat, and I'm not the type to pawn off the hunting on a courtier or my son. This is going to be my job, personally. I get some musicians and dancers as well, so this is shaping up to be one excellent event.



Roose Bolton takes the opportunity to tell me that Ser Marlon joined the Faith of the Seven, and I try to take the opportunity to ask him to un-Join, which is met with a "I pray for your eradication."

Yeesh, nice guy.

Well, everyone agrees they had a wonderful time, with Lord Carados even making a small speech about how lovely it was. I'm glad, because this feast bankrupted me, but at least it was something to do for a while.

The end of the year roles around, and Double-B turns out to be a Brilliant Steward, which I'm sure will serve him well managing exactly one demesne we have. Maybe should have martial-educated him. In my defense, he has 16 Martial already, so it's not like he's missing too much. Thank the old gods for dire wolves, I suppose

Well, there's been a feast. There's been a baby. There's been a war. There's been a couple betrothals and some education, so I'm calling today a victory, and then resting for a while. Check back another time, for more of the Game Of (Stupendously Uncomfortable) Chair Things.



Seriously, can we get a carpenter in on that?
 
Last edited:

Bguy32

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Mya Stone? You married the badass Robb Stark, your son and heir, to one of Robert's bastards?

Hilarious. Definitely gonna follow this.
 

Hyena Dandy

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Now, as it stands, the Game of Thrones is looking a lot more like a Halftime of Thrones, a long peace after the war of smacking around The Fat One. So I think we'll probably have an easy time.

Jon Snow ages up himself, and I start having some very strong thoughts about Daenerys. And not the usual thoughts I have about white-haired ladies. Specifically, the thoughts of "I have a bastard son here and she still doesn't have a betrothal."

Now, she doesn't like me much at all, but she doesn't hate me. And more importantly, she probably wants to get herself or her brother on the throne. I want neither of those things. But she seems smart. And she probably knows that she needs to gather an army. I'm worried about her gathering an army out there. But to tell the truth, I'm far less worried about an army she might have on my front porch. Then I can pop her in prison if things get icky.

And noticing the incest character trait, I'm not sure how much ickier they'll get...

There's a minor, not-particularly-popular faction (Read: One Guy) who wants to see her brother on the Iron Throne.

Now, her marriage to another nobleman might get her an alliance that I don't want to see and push her husband to join that faction. And her continuing to stay away? Adventuring party. But I can kill two birds with one stone, so I contact Bobby boy, and give him a plan. Jon needs a wife. Danny-girl has no husband. If Jon marries Danny, her banishment is revoked. But Jon won't inherit a light fixture, much less the Lordship. She'll be unable to contact her brother, she'll get no inheritance from her husband, and the alliance will be with... Well, me. And I intend to abide by the Stark Family Motto: Bros before Thrones.

In the meantime, she may have heard my reputation, but she might be a bit too smart. She'll assume I'm looking to have a Stark as the power behind the throne for her, or an alliance for her brother. It doesn't make sense to try to marry her otherwise, and that's what I'm counting on. And if she does try to start something, she'd be imprisoned.

It's a risky and probably uncharacteristic move, but I'm trying nothing beyond a marriage proposal. I want Jon Snow to be married, and I want sexy white-haired kids. I also, quite frankly, want another Choice #2 if my buddy kicks the bucket and is replaced by King Douchebag I. Anything else is a bonus. I run the plan behind Bobby-boy, and he's okay with it, so I send it out. Soon enough, I get back a white-haired bride for my bastard son. And purple eyes, too! Hope those are dominant traits.

And then, I get a message.



...

Dude.

Do you even KNOW me?

Do I look like the type to kill my best friend's wife?

...Okay, she is admittedly incestuous asshole, but STILL. No, man. Just no. Might be best for the Kingdom, but like I said. Bros before Thrones.

Instead, I'm going hunting, leaving Lord Roose The Leech Lord to be in control. Dude, Leech Lord? Is he some type of blood-drinking monster that lives in a-

Oh, okay, checked with my boyfriend who watches the series. He says that the guy isn't actually a leech monster.

Damnit, see Robert! We're not high fantasy enough! Look back and Danny's family tree and she's got a seven-times great uncle that's a dragon, and meanwhile I can't even have a lousy were-leech for my regent.

Okay, one of those is a bit weirder than the other. At least I still have D&D monster pets.

Still, the hunt goes unremarkably, but I must have left something behind because I go out to look for a chalice and get grabbed and stuffed in a bag by bandits!

This is better than the last time that Sean Bean was outnumbered.



And then, finally, it happens! I have a hobby! One that doesn't involve child endangerment!



Wait, the boar killed me? Darnit, I KNEW being Sean Bean was a bad idea.

At least it doesn't stick, and I become a hunter out of a need for revenge (or maybe the text was a bit off.)

But then... Something's gone down. And it's BIG. Looks like Bobby boy has gone and imprisoned and executed his brother. And with the Tyrant opinion modifier, it looks like he didn't even have a good reason for it. And now he's a kinslayer. Yeesh. No wonder everyone's pissed. Even Septon "The Cagey One" has started a Depose Robert thing. Bobby, man, look. You're like a brother to me, but... I was worried about your SON. I wasn't expecting you to pull this.

...I think I picked a bad time to invite a claimant.

(This update is short, because at this point the game crashed, and so I have to go in and fix it. I would have just restarted, but that was such a twist that I kinda HAVE to see where it goes from here, so I'm doing the imprison-kill for Robert, marriage, and console-in Hunter for now.)

To make up for this, the conversation in which I asked for clarification on "The Leech Lord"

[3:16:51 AM] Mattie Belle: Please tell me. Is Lord Roose "The Leech Lord" so called becaus ehe's a horrifying half-leech creature from the swamps?
[3:17:48 AM] Kitten: No, sadly
[3:17:48 AM] Kitten: He's much worse
[3:18:22 AM] Mattie Belle: A FULL leech creature from the swamps? HORRIFYING
[3:20:36 AM] Mattie Belle: I am also assuming the Starks are weather forecasters.
[3:20:41 AM] Mattie Belle: "Winter is coming" and all
[3:21:10 AM] Kitten: Swerve, it's actually fall
[3:21:40 AM] Kitten: House Russo
[3:22:51 AM] Mattie Belle: Danny shows up, punches Joff, and sprays "tWo" on the Iron Thrown
[3:23:20 AM] Kitten: Ffff...
[3:23:21 AM] Kitten: *dying*
[3:24:49 AM | Edited 3:24:55 AM] Mattie Belle: Greatjon starts hitting people with spears and yelling "Who's Next?!"
[3:25:11 AM] Kitten: *snickers*
[3:26:59 AM] Mattie Belle: And it all ends with one of those neighboring countries buying it up and then Tyrion Lannister goes like "Shit, I could have paid that."
 

Hyena Dandy

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And while I'm considering this action, I need to ask my outside-of-game readers for some help. This is AAR goofy, but I am roleplaying, kinda, so I need to ask you.

What, if we know it, is the exact text of the oath of fealty sworn to Bobby by Ned? And codes of chivalry, if there are any? I don't want to look these up out of fear of getting too spoiled for the show. But I'm thinking my Honorableness didn't prevent me from marrying Jonny Boy to Danny, but it might oblige me to overthrow/defend Bobby depending on what exactly I'm sworn to do. If there is no stated answer, I'll improvise.

Edit: If I don't get an answer by the time I resume, I'll improvise as well.
 
Last edited:

Tanavar

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I don't think the oath that Ned gave to Robert was ever fleshed out in the books, but Robert won the throne by he and Ned rising up against a tyrannical king so take from that what you will.

Northeners don't follow the codes of Chivalry and tend to focus more on honour and doing what you feel is right, although oaths are very important to them.

Love this AAR enough for this to be my first post.

I nearly always do the opposite of what you have done and have Robb marry Dany and Jon marry Mya though :p
 

Henry v. Keiper

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As someone who read through the first book, lost interest, and has never bothered to watch the TV series, I appreciate the humor and mentality behind this AAR :D Good job so far, especially in balancing actual roleplay with a flavor of, "I don't know who these people are, so I'll do whatever the frog I want." Definitely gonna subscribe :D
 

DennisRoos

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Eddard and Robert grew up together, and they're basically best friends, although Eddard doesn't respect Robert's debauchery. On the topic of Danaerys, Eddard doesn't hate her (though she hates him), but I doubt he would have married a son to her, because it would really piss off Robert, though you handled it well by it being a bastard son who doesn't own land. Danaerys is exiled, like literally getting killed on sight type exiled. Her father was the king Robert rebelled against. She had nothing to do with it, she wasn't even born then, but Robert HATES Targaryans.
And no, Eddard would never back an assassination plot. EVER. Other than that, he's very traditional, values honor and honesty above all else and pretty much has a zero intrigue score. He's basically the most 'humane' character in this world of backstabbing.
 

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So what I'm taking from this, Dennis, is that he's cool with me calling him Bobby.

[Seriously, Thanks for all the helpful responses. Now, I'm making a point to ignore as many spoilers in this thread as I can, and play up the lack of knowledge. Spoilers being anything that I say I don't know, don't imply I do know, or that anyone reading the books might assume I ought to know, because my lack of knowledge is your entertainment. I do know at some point Joffrey becomes king, and that Tyrion Lannister is short. ANything else, I don't know and don't tell me unless I ask.

Remember the thread title, I have no idea what I'm doing. And I'd like to avoid that as much as I can, or else it's less fun. I'm going to ignore anything that I feel counts as a spoiler, just do me a favor and play along by trying to avoid them.]

Hannibal - Well, one of the portraits is decidedly hotter than the other. I'm guessing that it's pretty boy. If it helps, his name's Renly.
 
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Hyena Dandy

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Pretty Boy and Justice Man sounds like the worst superhero team ever.
 

Hyena Dandy

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[My c0mputer busted an 0 key last night, s0 please enj0y what I had thus far. M0re t0 c0me later 0n the backup c0mputer]

With Daenerys at my court, I decide to take the rest of her education from here. Lesson One: Not stabbing me. It takes some doing, but she’s eventually able to pass. The fact that she loves Jon now helps. Now, Lesson 2: Diplomatic Letter Writing.

Watch and learn, Danny-Girl...

Dear Bobby,

Look, man, we’re bros. You know that. I’d go to the ends of the... Uh... Westeros-Planet for you. You’re like my brother. Except less dead. And not a knight guy. Whatever, look, the point is... We’re buddies. We have been since I was probably helping you with that rebellion thing that you did. I mean, it was called Robert’s Rebellion, and you are Robert, so I am at least 92% sure that was you. Was that not you? Okay, look, not the point.

Bobby, buddy, look. You can trust me. I mean, that’s why I’m called the Hand of the King. I checked everyone else’s titles, and I’m the only one called Hand of the King, so I’m super sure that means you trust me. I even google image-searched, and it turns out, that’s why I have this awesome looking brooch



And as your hand, listen.

Dude.

WTF was that with killing Renly?

Look, Noble-to-Noble. That was kinda whacked. Like, when we had our rebellion-thing to help you get your seriously uncomfortable chair (Which, by the way, I had this idea about a maybe a pillow...) I did that, I assume, because I thought you were cool. And look, I’m with you for now. Between Greyjoy’s Rebellion, Robert’s Rebellion... I’m not looking at Rebellion-ing. Besides, let’s be honest. Ned’s Rebellion sounds dumb, Eddard’s Rebellion sounds dumber, and Stark’s Rebellion sounds like a dumb rehash of Civil War.

And hey, I get it. I’ve seen that chair. If I had to sit in that, I’d probably be grumpy too, but...

Look, dude.

You got me worrying, and I’m starting to think that your son’s douchebaggery isn’t from his mother’s side of the family.

Sincerely, your brooch-wearer,

Ned
She seems unimpressed, but whatever. She’s fifteen, I couldn’t impress her if I started breathing fire. She’d probably just say her great-great-great-uncle does it better.
 
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Hyena Dandy

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A message arrives, which shortly after I read gets conveniently eaten by Double-B's dire wolf (who also ate my O key,) so I can't post a screencap. This seems acceptable. But it's a super important message. Super-important. The king made me Master of Laws. I'm super excited, I thought I was going to have to go to grad school for that. I'm so excited that I celebrate by accidentally injuring Brandon while training him in swordfighting.

Woops.

Well, no time for that, I have to go to take care of my Law-Mastering in the Red Keep. In King's Landing.

Seriously?

Dude, I would have thought that I was there already. I was apparently the guy's hand, and I can tell you, /My/ hand is never very far from me.

Am I the Addams Family's "Thing"? I consider looking into it.

Or maybe I'm just not the Hand anymore? I'd have hoped he'd have told me. I mean, you know, like "Hey, you can stop Handing."

But when I get there, I have an idea. An awful idea. Ned had a wonderful, awful idea. How about I investigate Joffrey's legitimacy? That could well disinherit him, and then I wouldn't have to worry about prince doucheba-

A week later, someone points out that Joff doesn't look anything like his dad. I dunno, man. He still has the Kid portrait. I don't know how else he would look.

Anyway, I go to say hi to Robert, along with my two students, Brandon, and Danny.

Hey, Bob! You'll never guess who I brou-



...

Wait, really? What?

Dude, I thought she was on vacation or something. Man, I wish I'd been told about this. Like with a tooltip. Maybe I just missed it. King Bobby is PISSED. I consider my options.

On the one hand, Bobby's my bro. We're like this, man.



On the other hand... Bobby is also turning into, like, a MASSIVE douchebag. He totally executed his brother. His heir is... Possibly not his heir. And he's trying to execute my daughter-in-law that I didn't know I was allowed to have. I could hand her over, but that sounds like it'll get her killed. I mean, the guy is on an execution spree.

I guess Bobby isn't accepting my excuse... Well, look. I'm not turning Danny-girl over. You're about to be revolution'd anyway, so it might as well be by me. I, at least, won't execute you. One of my quotes on the loading screen says I need to look you in the eyes to do that, and your character portrait always looks slightly off-center.


TO WAR IT IS. (Sorry, dude, we're still bros, right?)

Huh.

I dramatically say "TO WAR!"

At which point... Bobby pats me on the back and says "Just kidding" Then we all three of us go out to hang out and become best friends.

Two And A Half Kings: The Game of Thrones spin-off no-one wanted to see. Coming this fall, to HBO.

At this point, it strikes me that the game probably just has me on the honor system on my actually declaring war when I click that button, so I reload and run into the throneroom.

Hey, Brandon! *Smack*

Hey, Joffrey! You're an incest baby!

Hey, Bobby, look at my daughter in l-

Some guy runs in and announces a rebellion occurred.

Fortunately, Hermione Granger twists her time-turner and

Okay.

BRAN! Smack yourself in the face! Robert, hey, look who I bro-

...AND IT HAPPENS AGAIN.

Well, after exhausting the Time Turner, The TARDIS, and something called a DeLorean, I decide to skip the "He finds out" part and just declare for Danny-girl's claim right now. Sorry, Bobby, but like the Rabbit says... I'm sure you realize, this means war.

Well, not really, but only because you don't know what was going on in previous timestreams. Wibbly wobbly and all that

Fortunately, people have noticed that Bobby is turning into a massive douche, and consider that Queen Danny-Girl is a possibility and that, maybe, just maybe, the Tagaryens were vastly underrated before. Bobby, you are not making friends quickly.



Only one person didn't back me up on this.

My old friend Bobby and I meet at the field of Battle,



Really? Battle of River Inn? We're fighting in an Inn?

Hell of a big inn... Must be crowded. But it's time for an epic showdown. It's not going well, as my lack of funds demoralizes the troops, until Double-B shows up with those re-enforcements to make the numbers you see up there. 45,00 people, one inn. And I thought the Wild West had crazy bar brawls.

Battle after battle swings my way. Barrowbridge, Lord Harroway's Town, until finally he's captured, outnumbered 3 to 1, at the battle of Hayford. Sorry, dude. In my defense... You got the nickname of "The Unworthy" for a reason.



Well, Bobby and I are still bros, even though I got someone he hates on the throne. Shockingly cool guy for someone who murders his brother randomly. Maybe it's just a brother-murdering tick. I knew there was a reason I liked you. You see, Bob... You... Are my #1 guy...

And now, Daenerys is on the throne. Now, Danny-Girl, you know how it went down with Bobby. You gotta promise not to murder your brother.



...Okay. Maybe YOUR Brother.

Still, I'm victorious. But then...



And then




...Yeesh. Rough day



...

Okay, even I saw that one coming.
 
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Andrzej I

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Ouch, Robb dying has to hurt. And seems Joffrey still managed to inherit his father. Quite the number of imprisoned Baratheons there, too...