Furious Vengance - A 1944 UK AAR

[El Pip]

The Plan.​

So Sweden must pay. It's an excellent concept but probably needs slightly more detail to be called a plan. Much deep strategic thinking produces this masterpiece;

1. Control the North Sea
2. Land on Norway's Western Coast
3. Bludgen my way across Norway into Sweden
4. Capture all Swedish cores
5. Annex the evil enemy bringing the quest of furious vengeance to an end.

A fine plan, let's go carry it out. First stage is to control the North Sea; Bomber Command is called of bombing Germany and sent to join Coastal Command in bombing the North Sea. This force, together with the vast but badly arranged fleets the thrice damned Swedes gave the Royal Navy, are to sweep the area clean for the invasion.

Haha! First success, we have sunk a Tirpitz!

No that's not right. Let's try again;

Haha! We have sunk the Tirpitz!

Good work HMS Malaya! Still life in the old girl yet it seems.

In fact the entire force is doing a not to shabby job.

I think we can call that close enough to Naval Domination.

But wait! A cunning Swedish counter-stroke! Is it the Swedish Fleet coming out for another doomed attack? Is it naval bombing of my fleets? Massed armies guarding the Norwegian coasts?

No it's the Swedish airforce attempting to bomb the 14th Army in Burma, but being intercepted by the local RAF. Obviously.


This is either a fiendishly cunning plan or a really, really stupid move by Sweden. Find out next time when the ground war is planned and the invasion goes in!

 

[trekaddict]

Rule Britannia! :rofl: :rofl:



I love it.

 

[Murmurandus]

You've sunk all the Tirpitzes so they won't mess up your genial strategy...

And what the hell are those Swedish backpackers doing in India?

 

[unmerged(63715)]

Poor Swedes. Maybe they thought, that in HoI2 the would be as overpowered as in EU2?

Oh, and El Pip: who sunk the first Tirpitz?

 

[VILenin]

I find that the line between fiendishly cunning and really stupid is often a very fine one. Be on the lookout nonetheless, you never know what sort of history defying scenario edits those Swedes will try next.

 

[likk9922]

I can't believe you didn't get +100% dissent for DOWing Sweden.

 

[unmerged(56277)]

Now this is an Alturnit AAR that i'm having a good old laugh to. THANK YOU for DOW sweden. It makes for such a lovely change

 

[EmprorCoopinius]

"Obviously."

LOL

Really looking forward to more.

 

[unmerged(28944)]

Okay, now that my sides have slowly begun to ease off from the laughter inflicted pain, I have got to hand it to you Pip, this is clearly what the forums needed, a furious British Empire with whole lackluster stats attacking the evil Swedes! I can only hope that your starting disappointment (which was hugely humorous to your readAARs) continues. No offense to the Brits, though, eh?

 

[Corbett]

Well, alright then! Your furious vengeance is surely at hand! That is, if the army can remember where they've mislaid their gear - if they've even invented it yet... :rofl:

 

[unmerged(51002)]

This is utterly fantastic.

 

[Sir Humphrey]

Nice style, great updates.

 

[El Pip]

trekaddict - Britannia will indeed rule in Scandinavia. For their own good you understand.

Murmurandus - Either a cunning plan to distract me OR they were trying to run away and were intercepted by the brave Far Eastern Group. Clearly I prefer option 2.

Sokraates - The first Tirpitz was tag-teamed by the statues of Collingwood and Nelson, so enraged were they by the poor treatment of the Royal Navy. That and the sheer cheek of the Swedes also using HMS for their alleged battleships.

VILenin - I do wonder what events the evil Swedes have up their sleaves in the event files. I must stay on my toes.

likk9922 - The Swedes can't be too overt. They must pretend to be balanced. But I've seen through them, oh yes.

Reado - Another fan of Swedish vengeance. The army is assembling, victory is at hand.

EmprorCoopinius - Sometimes the best jokes are the simplest.

Draco Rexus - Draco! Good to see you old man. Rest assured there is plenty of disappointment, although there are a few victories in there. Hopefully I can just slip them in unnoticed.

Corbett - They may take our ships, our tanks and our jets. But we will beat them! Because we don't consider meatballs to be cuisine and thus are better in every measurable way.

Alexus - Woot!

Sir Humphrey - Nice to see your still around Sir H. I needed a change in style, these picture heavy AARs are a different beast all together than my usual fare.

 

[Eams]

I, for one, welcome our new public-school overlords, and hope that they will liberate us from all historical inaccuracies.

*Subscribes*

 

[Samefar]

Funny AAR

 

[El Pip]

Tough Decisions.​

Time to plan the land invasion. What I need though is troops, but where from? I could always borrow the Normandy follow up forces. Allies are consulted at the highest level;

It doesn't look good;

That's the world cursed to years of inaccurate Hollywood rubbish. Unfortunately. Still the Americans are a few years late for this war so need a chance to catch up in the fighting stakes.

With the Yanks out what about our noble allies the French?

To be fair I didn't expect anything better from that tit. So with no credit, gratitude or even thanks for liberating France we decide not to bother supporting the Normandy landings,it just isn't worth it. Besides we have more important herring to smoke!

By using the Normandy forces for Norway we have a ready prepared invasion force. Result. Next on the list of requirements is a codename, while "Smash Those ****ing Swedes" is the early favourite it isn't actually a codename per se. More a mission objective.

Reluctantly we select "Dancing Meerkat" as the codename as it has sod all to do with anything we're doing and will confuse any spies. And possibly our own side, but that's a risk we have to take.

For this plan we assemble several Army Groups. From those units on the south coast we form Army Group "Nicked From D-Day". Those north of Watford but below Scotland form Army Group Northern Monkey while those in Scotland form the strategic reserve; Army Group Men In Skirts.

The final Army Group; Group Doesn't Appear In This AAR is sent over the North Pole to open a northern front. These brave men had heroic and exciting adventures that are far too thrilling to recount here and so aren't. Only fair the readers share in the disappointment.

The army is assembled and the plan made. Next on the list is bringing the plan (and troops) into contact with the enemy. And that will go fine wont it? Wont it?

 

[unmerged(51002)]

The final Army Group; Group Doesn't Appear In This AAR is sent over the North Pole to open a northern front. These brave men had heroic and exciting adventures that are far too thrilling to recount here and so aren't.

LMFAO

 

[Spacehusky]

These brave men had heroic and exciting adventures that are far too thrilling to recount here and so aren't. Only fair the readers share in the disappointment.

No, you must tell us!

 

[Lurtz231]

Army Group Nicked from D-Day

That made me burst out laughing. I Love this AAR.

 

[unmerged(71778)]

Ironicly they DID appear in the AAR