Furious Vengance - A 1944 UK AAR

[caffran]

quick question pippy, how many independent countries are actually left?

some just pretend to be left, others are completely right. that their left i mean. i think.

bugger i've confused myself now :wacko:

make it easier, who haven't you killed?

later, caff

 

[wilegfass]

Gigalocus - Adamascus. (Or Assur if your being factually dull)

I could swear it was Nineveh...

My 6th grade history teacher lied to me!

 

[El Pip]

Right I'm going to finish this damned bugger if it kill someone. Not me obviously, but someone else.

Raaritsgozilla - I know, it's almost like an ANZAC war documentary isn't it?

Murmurandus - Close enough sir, close enough.

Nathan Madien - It's the kind of place you send bad policeman, if they don't catch enough criminals say.

caffran - Uhh there's not many free ones left? I'll post a list at the end of the next update to clear this up, after a few more are freed from the oppression of self rule.

wilegfass - Assyria had many capitals over the centuries, but I believe Assur was the first one.

 

[El Pip]

Success on many fronts.​

We begin planning the Saudi War, consult the map of importance!

Well there's sod all there. This'll be easy.​

We consider a complex and multi-faceted strategy. But then decide we can't be arsed.

Chargeeeeeeeee! Some of our units are so enthusiastic they've already started advancing. That or our photo recon chaps have been a bit lazy and didn't catch the early stages of the campaign...​

The campaign begins with great news, Yemen has been forced to actually fight;

About time frankly, they've been loafing for long enough. We expect our puppets to fight, for our amusement if nothing else, or why bother having them?​

Even better we've received help from our brave and valiant allies!

Canadian armour bravely guards the wrong side of the Red Sea, while a French carrier fleet heroically patrols the Red Sea in case the Saudi Navy suddenly does something. Like burst into existence. With allies like these the war will be over by Christmas. 1978.​

Thankfully we receive great news from the east;

When I'm faced with the task of annexing annoying Stalinist remnants I use new MongGone Communism removal spray, guaranteed to remove even the most tenacious Soviet Puppets.​

Well that's one less war to worry about at least. Even better news as Monty finally reaches the Afghan theatre and, at last, gets a chance to use paratroopers!

For extra stealth and secrecy no-one is told who is in command of the parachute part of the operation, not even the commander himself. Despite the complete lack of command it somehow works. We are both impressed and confused.​

With that success we are halfway through Afghanistan

The parachute attack is such a success the Afghans try to surrender in panic, however this time round Britain has learnt; No peace short of total victory!​

There is no only Kabul between the advancing British (well mainly British along with a handful of Nepalese, Iraqis and some very badly lost Czechs) and Feyzabad morale is high. Soon we will be able to strike at Fezabad; the dark heart of the Axis of Bad millinery, a place so evil it can't even come up with a slightly secret name. They might as well have called it 'EvilBadHatCity' and be done with it. It must be the German influence, all those military advisers must have taught the German system of really obvious codenames.

With the reassuring news our enemies are stupid, and the final end to the War on Bad Roads (AKA the Mongolian War) progress is being made on all fronts. But can Monty be restrained from further para attacks? Will there be medals issued to the brave souls still reading after all this time and poor update schedule? Questions, questions, questions. Experienced readers will know that answers are significantly rarer, but only available next time!

Finally, a quick bonus as requested by @caff;

Pink = Puppets
Red = Allies
Light Blue = French Puppets
Yellow = At war with
Black = Annexed

 

[Faeelin]

Canadian armour bravely guards the wrong side of the Red Sea, while a French carrier fleet heroically patrols the Red Sea in case the Saudi Navy suddenly does something. Like burst into existance. With allies like these the war will be over by Christmas. 1978.​

I for one applaud the Canadians for keeping a watch on the. Umm. Sudanese?

 

[Raaritsgozilla]

oh my! an update!
Get those pesky Saudis... but who could be next??
Also, i see you dont advertise Furious Vengance in your sig... why on earth not?!

 

[Nathan Madien]

For extra stealth and secrecy no-one is told who is in command of the parachute part of the operation, not even the commander himself. Despite the complete lack of command it somehow works. We are both impressed and confused.​

If no one knows who is in command, what is the point of having an commander? It sounds like an oxymoron.

Also, i see you dont advertise Furious Vengance in your sig... why on earth not?!

Furious Vengance is an acquired taste. By acquired taste, I mean you kinda have to discover it youself.

 

[phargle]

Yeah, that French aircraft carrier is the most awesome picture of overkill. The French might as well ask the Nejdies to dress up in grey uniforms and spikey hats and say "Schnell" a bunch just so they can feel even better about themselves.

 

[El Pip]

Faeelin - I believe the Canadian armour is guarding Ethiopia. Being generous they could just be replacing the old Ethiopian guard units from the start of the game;

The heroic militia guarding Ethiopia, now disbanded and it's manpower used for something more useful. Like anything else. At all.

Raaritsgozilla - Umm, because I thought I stopped this one so removed it from my sig. Then decided I really had to finish at least one AAR before starting my new year project....

Nathan Madien - Anonymous parachute commanders use stealth ninja osmosis to communicate. Order migrate from areas of high command concentration to those lacking in orders, that way no-one actually knows who is in command but orders still appear.

I like your explanation of the sig absence better, so I will accordingly adopt it.

phargle - It would cheer them up, they really haven't had the best of wars. Hell most of France is still occupied and owned by the US. As is all of Belgium and Holland.

 

[Lord Strange]

Ah, british conquest of the world using gunboat diplomacy (well, event diplomacy) and random puppets divisions. You continue the great tradition of the British Empire.

 

[El Pip]

Progress?​

News from the East, the final battle for Kabul has begun!

The Dramatic(ish) Battle for Kabul. It was almost, if you squint, just about a fair fight. If there wasn't a vast fleet of tactical bombers above bombing the buggery out of the Afghans.​

Actually even without aerial support it wasn't ever going to be fair;

Centurion Tanks vs Cavalry. It was never going to end well was it? Not from an Afghan point of view anyway.​

With the final defences defeated our work here is done. Britain is victorious!

The 4th Afghan War is over. And rest assured there won't be a 5th one, not after we've burnt all the evil millinery and replaced their tribal hats with bowlers. For it is a scientific fact that you cannot rebel against British rule while wearing bowler hats.​

The long and arduous Afghan war over, we turn our attention to the Middle East, where the treacherous Saudiasas.. Saduians.. Saudiastanians.... People from Saudi Arabia are trying to surrender.

So we get the Jawf region, the holy city of Medina and we get to Rub your Khali whenever we want? It's a tempting offer, but what's that last bit? Dammam?! Damn my Mum will you! These talks are over!​

Clearly there can be no peace with people who would damn by mother, thus we must utterly crush this rude and insolent nation and grind it utterly into the dust. It's the only reasonable response. To Riyadh men! And the total destruction of these uncouth Suaudisianstanians!

This actually could be close. Were it not for the fact it's the latest motor infantry vs ten year old infantry. And we mean that literally, the oldest enemy is barely 11.​

]

Unsurprisingly the battle is soon won and total victory is ours.

The country that shall henceforth never be mentioned, has been annexed. Which is good because all those briefings were we couldn't mention the country's name where proving quite tricky, if only because no-one was ever sure what anyone was talking about.​

We appear to have entered a new phase of the war, namely one where we're not actually at war with anyone. Expert are referring to this as 'Peace'. Frankly we don't like and don't think it'll catch on.


Can the British Armed Forces cope with this so called Peace? Which lucky nation will next have the heavy burden of independence lifted from their shoulders? Is it true Chesney Hawks will be buried with full civic honours in a vast concrete Valley of the Kings style complex under Milton Keynes? Can this insane update speed be maintained until this AAR finally finishes? Find out next time!

 

[4th Dimension]

Destroy evil USAanese!!!

 

[Sir Humphrey]

Lol'ed indeed.

 

[cdcdrr]

Revoke US independence. And for God's sake, teach them English! I can't begin to describe how bloody annoying the 'Murcan language is.

 

[trekaddict]

Revoke US independence. And for God's sake, teach them English! I can't begin to describe how bloody annoying the 'Murcan language is.

This has my full support. Teach them the true virtues of the King's own English!

 

[Murmurandus]

Expert are referring to this as 'Peace'. Frankly we don't like and don't think it'll catch on.

Neither do I...

 

[Nathan Madien]

This has my full support. Teach them the true virtues of the King's own English!

Hey! Don't make us Americans dump all your precious tea into the ocean again because we will!

 

[trekaddict]

Hey! Don't make us Americans dump all your precious tea into the ocean again because we will!

Pfff. We have India and China. There aren't enough americans to make even a dent in the Empire's tea supply.

 

[Beladriel]

Declare war on.. peace!

 

[unmerged(58610)]

It's only one expert who knows about peace - everyone else is finding countries to conquer.