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A Landy

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Wrong thread, though you can post this here. I would recommend sending orders to me through conversation as you did the first turn
Oh, oops (I'm used to the RP games I was playing on Facebook)
 

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Investment Agreement
Between the United States of America and the Ottoman Empire

The government of the United States of America will be given rights to invest in the Ottoman industry, especially in the Anatolian region.
While the USA provides the needed funds, Ottoman Empire will make sure the factories have enough resources and workers.
The products of the factories built or expanded by American funds will be directed to Austria, Persia and Ethiopia.
The profits from these products will be equally split between the USA and the Ottoman Empire.

Signed by
Abdülaziz I, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, Caliph of Islam, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques
__________________________________________________
 

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The Act of Council of Elected Viziers

1. The title of Vizier, advisor of the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, will be changed to Elected Vizier.

2. The number of Elected Viziers will become static, 21.

3. The Elected Viziers will be selected by an Empire-wide elections. The Empire will be divided into 21 electoral areas. Every person considered to be wealthy by the Empire's standards can vote in their own area's elections.

4. Anyone considered to be wealthy by the Empire's standards can also run in their local elections. In addition to being wealthy, one must also be at least 30 years old, male and a "natural-born" citizen of the Empire.

5. The person with the most votes in an electoral area will become an Elected Vizier for a ten-year term. There are no limits to how many terms a person can serve as an Elected Vizier.

6. The 21 Elected Viziers will form the Council of Elected Viziers. The Council's most important job is to run the day-to-day work of the Empire. The Council can do anything from changing tax rates to starting smaller projects.

7. The Council will vote one of its members to become the Grand Vizier. The Grand Vizier is the Head of the Council: he will lead the Council meetings and present any decisions made by the Council to the Sultan.

8. More important decisions will still be made by the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire. The Sultan will also still be the head of the state diplomacy.

9. The Sultan can veto any decision made by the Council.

10. The Sultan can't fire any Elected Vizier. In order for a person to lose his position as an Elected Vizier, he must commit a serious crime (for example a murder or corruption) or pass away. If an Elected Vizier loses his position before his term ends, the Sultan will nominate a reliable person to act as the Elected Vizier until the end of the former's term.

11. The Elected Viziers' most important job is to make the life of the Empire's citizens as good as possible. If an Elected Vizier is found abusing his position, only increasing his own power or wealth, or generally being corrupt, he will automatically lose his position and can never again run in the elections. In order to avoid this kind of behaviour, the Elected Viziers will receive a yearly income so that they don't have to use corruption to earn money from their political position.

(The Act of Council of Elected Viziers will be put into effect at the start of the year 1866. Even though Serbia and Egypt are very
autonomous areas, one Elected Vizier will be selected from Serbia and two from Egypt to the Council. They are still part of the Empire in the end.)
 
Last edited:
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Investment Agreement
Between the United States of America and the Ottoman Empire

The government of the United States of America will be given rights to invest in the Ottoman industry, especially in the Anatolian region.
While the USA provides the needed funds, Ottoman Empire will make sure the factories have enough resources and workers.
The products of the factories built or expanded by American funds will be directed to Austria, Persia and Ethiopia.
The profits from these products will be equally split between the USA and the Ottoman Empire.

Signed by
Abdülaziz I, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, Caliph of Islam, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques
__________________________________________________
Signed by
Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States of America
 

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The World In 1865 - Player Report


The Union and Confederacy:


Following the successive defeats of the Union Potomac, Confederate President Jefferson Davis once more extended an offer of peace to Union President Abraham Lincoln. Having received what seemed to be an amiable response shortly after, rumours of peace spread amongst the ranks of Confederate bureaucrats and officers. Soldiers, who had risked life and limb for the survival of the nation, were recorded dancing through the streets of Richmond, lifting the spirits of a previously demoralized nation.

Beneath this pretense of peace, however, Lincoln had already ordered Grant to prepare another invasion of the South, this time with the ambitious goal of destroying the Army of Virginia, led by Robert Lee himself, by the end of March. After three weeks of securing soldiers, both domestic and foreign, to bolster the battered army of the Potomac, Grant began his ill fated invasion on January 25. While most Confederates had rejoiced under the guise of peace, Lee had been distrustful of the potential peace, and was not caught unaware when Grant’s first attack began. The disastrous Union campaign first met its enemy at the Battle of Hatcher’s Run, February 1st, when a Confederate force ambushed the Union Force. Though casualties were high on both sides, extremely severe initial casualties would force the Union to retreat, leaving over 5,000 Confederates and over 7,000 Union soldiers, dead or wounded. This would set the tone for the campaign, with only one Union victory occurring throughout the entire march. By April 1st, the Army of the Potomac was heavily damaged, and the army of Virginia stood victorious.

Elsewhere, the Confederacy held no such luck. Unprepared for the sudden Union advance, the Confederate west fell quickly in the first months of the invasion, a series of losses which would culminate in the loss of Houston on March 23, a major morale blow for the Confederacy. However, by early April, Confederate officers had prepared themselves for the Union attack, and the Union advance dramatically slowed. However, events elsewhere would soon prove this to be futile.


April 14th, 1865 was destined to become a historic night in American history. The American Civil War had been tough for all of its participants, with Lincoln being no exception. It was in order to relieve this stress that Lincoln would attend a showing of the play Our American Cousin, at the illustrious Ford’s theatre. It was there that Confederate sympathizer and well renowned actor, John Wilkes Booth, would carry out a seemingly ungodly plan, the assassination of the President himself. A friend of the theatre’s owner, Wilkes walked freely through the theatre’s aisles, and would eventually, taking advantage of his celebrity status, move into Lincoln’s booth, where Lincoln and his wife were viewing the play. In the third act of the comedic play, Wilkes fired into the back of Lincoln’s head, the bullet shattering the President’s skull, with the gunshot obscured by the crowd's laughter, and, believing his work to be done, made his escape, pretending to be part of the play. Unbeknownst to Wilkes, and truly most of America, Lincoln would survive the lethal wound, and would spend the rest of the year in a critical state, constantly treated by world famous doctors, both domestic and foreign, occasionally bursting into fits of consciousness.

As news reached the front lines, American soldiers were said to have burst into tears, believing their great leader had been done in, only furthering resentment against the already despised Confederacy. Of these affected men, Grant was said to have been the worst of them. Driven into a fit of rage by the attempted assassination, on April 24, Grant led the Army of the Potomac on yet another mission, this time to finally put the Confederacy to rest. In contrast to the Confederate controlled battles which marked the earlier part of the year, rage had turned the already brilliant mind of Grant into a strategic masterpiece, backed up by likewise angered Union forces. In the first two months of this new campaign, Grant had lain waste to the Army of Virginia, resulting in General Lee’s surrender on October 1st, and eventually the fall of Richmond ten days after.

Emboldened by these victories, other Union generals became restless, and several successful military campaigns were launched throughout the South. As more and more territory became lost to Union forces, Jefferson Davis, and a contingent of a die hard loyalists, fled the rapidly falling Confederacy, disappearing over the Mexican border, seeking to raise yet another army. Without their leader, the Confederate soldiers refused to fight any longer, and as Union forces closed in on the last Confederate strongholds, the Confederacy would issue its formal surrender on October 27, marking the end of the long war. After being told the news in one of his few moments of coherency, Lincoln reportedly said “It is done” before once more falling into his long sleep.

Following this victory, the USA began what was to be a long and arduous campaign of Southern reconstruction. Perhaps out of respect or awe, Congress would follow Lincoln’s last orders regarding reconstruction to the letter, shocking many who knew of Washington’s internal scheming. In formerly Confederate states, all, including former slaves, who did not serve as an officer in the Confederate army, partook in the drafting of new state constitutions, as well as the ratification of the 13th and 14th amendments, and, while this was to take place, the states were designated military districts until ratification was complete. Of those who were officers, any who held the rank of Major or higher, as well as pro-secession political leaders, were tried for treason and the breaking of the International Law of War in what were to be known as The Richmond Trials.

The Government would also enact several plans involving the redistribution of land and the economic stability of both the South and the nation. Land seized from Confederate plantation owners was distributed amongst the numerous freedmen and displaced working poor under the policy of “15 Acres and a Plow,” much to the resentment of its previous owners, granting the USA much of the lower class’s support, a needed asset for reconstruction. In an odd scenario, these new farmers were often seen helping each other tend to their new land and sharing the profits, regardless if the one they were helping was colored or white, showing a strange racial tolerance which had developed during the mutual economic struggle.
Believing that fortune seeking Northerners would flock to the undeveloped South, and ruining the newly gained goodwill, Congress enacted several subsidies for those who kept their businesses in the North, largely placating the aspiring, or aspired, capitalists. As for the development of the South, the North instead turned to local and foreign growth, with businessmen from much of western Europe arriving to develop the largely free market. Southerners also took advantage of these economic subsidies, and fledgeling factories, businesses, and railroads would dot the countryside by the end of December. The effects of the reforms will continue to carry out for most, if not all, of the next year.

Another of Congress’s economic plan was the further development of similar projects to the Transcontinental Railroad, and despite it remaining uncompleted by the end of the year, several additional and similar projects were queued and funded by the state, an investment which is sure to increase infrastructure when completed. A noticeable detail in these new projects was the avoidance of the remaining military districts, as Congress had been unwilling to work with the tumultuous states.

The month of November would see the Union focus on collaboration with its neighbors and close associates, with trade deals being secured with France, England, and the ever tumultuous Mexico, and a fourth trade deal request being delivered to the largely autonomous province of Canada. Contacts with the Ottoman Empire would result in an investment deal being made, with the USA being granted full investment rights into the decaying European power. With such a rapid reopening onto the world stage, the newly unified nation has seen a rapid increase in its international standing.



Canada

Canada would spend much of the year on a focused course of development, as the nearly independent colony prepared for the economic and military hardships of standing on its own. This would come through the process of several acts and reforms in order to control what was a raging economy. Of these acts, the ultimate culmination would be the Anti-Monopoly act, enacted in the beginning of March. The act allowed the colonial government the right of intervention in the economy, as well as providing subsidies to struggling factories and railroads. This endeavour would show much success as more and more industries crowded the Canadian interior, and, faced with heavy competition, the previously unchallenged companies were forced to lower and control previously rising prices in a match for consumers.

The colonial government would also once more try its hand at industrial expansion, as it once more offered subsidies to those who would build their properties in the newly purchased lands. With the Anti-Monopoly act already in effect, competition was even fiercer in the Northwest Territories, and, though not even close to the industrialization of the rest of Canada, the countryside was well connected and proved economically stable. Due to large rural areas, however, large factories were slowly being constructed in the territory, though hampered by a lack of manpower.

The government would also begin several campaigns for the increase of militia and naval quality. Several grueling training sessions, as well as some divisions even practicing as volunteers for the American Civil War, would lead to a competent, if unneeded, military force residing in Canada. As for the navy, this was a subject of which Canadians were no stranger. Over a hundred large and capable ships were to be created for the formation of a strong Canadian navy, and though they were only mediocre in quality, their sheer number was a quality in of its own.

In early November, the American ambassador presented a request for a trade agreement to Charles Monke, though he has yet to give his official response.

Spain

The previous year had seen Spain achieve much, if not too much, in regard to attaining its previous prestige, and it was this goal which would drive Spain once more. The conquest of Hispaniola had turned into both a boon and a burden, as loyalist rebels continued to plague the isle. Despite the rebels, the island would be useful in solving one of the most dangerous problems facing Spain: The Carlists. For the past decades, the Carlists have continuously, whether through coups or rebellion, attempted to seize power from the legitimate government, weakening the influence of an already struggling administration. As such, the ever divided Spanish factions agreed that something had to be done, and such a thing was exile. Throughout the months of both February and March, thousands of suspected Carlists were arrested and exiled to the newly acquired isle, far away from the government's seat on the Iberian Peninsula. This would have one major unintended consequence for the recovering nation.

The isle of Hispaniola was in a state of war, with spanish forces facing off against loyalist rebels. Believing that further reinforcements would break the already struggling rebels, the army of Puerto Rico was sent to help eliminate any further rebels. By early March, the rebels had been driven to the furthest corners of the isle, and were at the brink of extermination, however, they would receive help from an unexpected source: The Carlists. Bitter over their exile, and already hostile to the Spanish government, several of the newly exiled Spaniards rallied to the rebel banner, and ambushes from government controlled areas plagued Spanish soldiers. From April onwards, control on the island was constantly in flux, at times the Spanish were nearly driven back into the sea, and at times so were the rebels. By the end of December, the battle was in a stalemate, though Spanish control had been cemented in much of the eastern part of the isle.

Spain had yet another colonial plan that they wished to achieve, the exploration, and exploitation, of the Congo, one of the last unexplored parts of Africa. Around fifty explorers were hired by the administration with the goal of charting the unknown lands, however, by the end of September, only three had returned, each reporting tropical forests and lands of great wealth, as well as strange, sometimes friendly, sometimes hostile, tribes. The explorers described in detail the dangers of traversing such a land, but reported that they could likely lead a team of colonists in order to set up a permanent settlement, if the government was to pay a hefty sum, of course. The Spanish government agreed to pay the price, and thus, in November, the colonists set off on their journey. By the end of the year, however, no reports came back from the attempted colony, leading many to believe the explorers, and their charge, have died, though some have refuted that messages merely hadn’t the time to arrive.

Spain had not just focused on its colonial ambitions, but also the problems of home. With the Basque region proving woefully under equipped to handle such a large population, Spain focused on connecting Basque with the neighboring Castilla region, with Castilla providing Basque many of the resources the region required to operate. With a rapidly growing population, Spain also focused its resources on the development of food production, through the distribution of fertile land, subsidies, and other such means, in the provinces of Castilla, Galicia, and Extremadura. In Castilla and Galicia, these efforts were to be in vain as government money was wasted, but in Extremadura, the efforts met unparalleled success, as the region recorded record amounts of crops, allowing even the poorest of men in the region to be able to feast. Easily capable of providing for neighboring regions, it remains to be seen how the Spanish government will distribute this newly acquired resource

The last of the Spanish campaigns was for the establishment of the steel industry in the region of Toledo. With resources and money being poured into the region, the steel industry took Toledo by storm, becoming the region's primary export. As factory’s grew, they gained their profit by providing the steel for its competitors factories, and thus, it was in this nature, that a network of steel production rapidly put money into the hands of the few. THough this mass amounts of steel production had economic benefits, it had consequences in other ways. The skies over many of Toledo’s industrialized cities lay thick with smog and covered with the glowing red fires of the ever burning ovens below, and the poor had to work in ever dreadful conditions. Regardless, the Spanish administration wrote off the project as a complete success, and once more began to plot its future actions.

The Ottoman Empire

The Empire had been more than happy with the processions of the United Ottoman Railroad Company in the previous year, and after a few negotiations with the company, the Empire severely cut its subsidies, believing the company could well fend for itself. Despite this cut in funding, the company would continue to rapidly expand its tracks throughout most of the year, while also keeping prices low and equal, as not to eliminate a good public reputation. This would lead to the UORC becoming one of the most trusted companies throughout the Empire, with even many of those in the Balkans praising its name.

As for the redistribution of funds, the Ottoman Empire turned to its woefully neglected harbours, especially those of importance, such as Istanbul, Bursa, and Izmir. Early renovations provided the harbours with much needed improvements, allowing nearly two times as many ships to dock in the harbours, and giving it a much needed makeover, however, construction slowly came to a standstill as funds began to run thin. As officials panicked over how to proceed, the UORC once more proved critical to Ottoman development, as the company head, an Ottoman patriot, donated nearly a quarter of his yearly profit to the Ottoman treasury, allowing for expansions to continue. By the end of the year, the harbours could provide for nearly ten times as many ships as were previously possible, and the effects were already beginning to show. As the economy began to rise inland, foreign trade began to take over the coastal cities, providing relief to the generally backwards Ottoman nation. Trade was not all the harbours were used for, however, as ships from the Ottoman navy were often stationed at these harbours, whether for supplies, repairs, or general rest.

The Empire also turned its industrial focus to welcoming foreign companies, inviting corporate geniuses to invest in their burgeoning economy. This was granted through the selling of land at cheap price and through the provision of cheap manpower to those who arrived. Of the many invitations and deals the Empire made, perhaps the most critical was an investment deal with the USA itself, hopefully providing the Empire closer relations with the country, while simultaneously reaping the economic benefits. Foreign factories poured into the country, bringing with them the technologies of the pinnacle of human development, and the Ottoman economy began to steadily rise. The Empire took advantage of these foreign technologies, and began rapidly buying patents from all those who set up their companies. This would prove surprisingly successful, as the capitalists were more than happy to sell their ideas to the ever so welcoming Sultan, allowing the Empire to gain much of western technology, without having to resort to less scrupulous means.

However, within this seemingly prosperous look, dissent grew within the Empire’s most troublesome subjects: The Serbians. In contrast to the general Balkan distrust of the Empire, Serbia was outright hostile to the government, and was rapidly converging on revolution. In order to combat this, the Ottoman government passed The Act of Council of Elected Viziers, providing both the beginnings of a democracy, and giving representation in the Ottoman government to the Balkans. Though the act goes into effect at the beginning of the next year, the Ottoman government has already seen positive reactions throughout the Balkans, and even in Anatolia, as many accept the new possibility of a democracy as the Sultan listening to their demands.
 
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Stats of January 1st, 1866

Nation: United States of America - Dreamer
Government: Constitutional Federal Republic
Army Quantity: 7/25
Army Quality: 12/25
Navy Quantity: 4/25
Navy Quality: 6/25
Economy: 18/25
Industry: 19/25
Administration: 16/25
Infrastructure: 18/25
International Standing: 66/100
Morale: 100/100
Status: War Weary, Reconstruction, Victorious, Hero Leader, Recovering President

Nation: The Russian Empire - Kongo
Government: Autocratic Monarchy
Army Quantity: 18/25
Army Quality: 12/25
Navy Quantity: 16/25
Navy Quality: 15/25
Economy: 16/25
Industry: 10/25
Administration: 19/25
Infrastructure: 13/25
International Standing: 58/100
Morale: 49/100
Status: Stagnation, Military Reform, Siberian Exploitation

Nation: The Ottoman Empire - Janha
Government: Autocratic Monarchy
Army Quantity: 20/25
Army Quality: 8/25
Navy Quantity: 15/25
Navy Quality: 6/25
Economy: 9/25
Industry: 7/25
Administration: 11/25
Infrastructure: 9/25
International Standing: 24/100
Morale: 21/100
Status: First Elections, Rising Nationalism, Patriotic Company (UORC), Growing Industry

Nation: Kingdom of Spain - Guaire
Government: Constitutional Monarchy
Army Quantity: 15/25
Army Quality: 17/25
Navy Quantity: 15/25
Navy Quality: 13/25
Economy: 18/25
Industry: 17/25
Administration: 6/25
Infrastructure: 13/25
International Standing: 39/100
Morale: 40/100
Status: Rebels/Carlists in Hispaniola, Banished Carlists, Lost Colony, Specialized Regions

Nation: The United Province of Canada - A Landy
Government: Colonial Parliament
Army Quantity: 15/25
Army Quality: 10/25
Navy Quantity: 13/25
Navy Quality: 15/25
Economy: 20/25
Industry: 18/25
Administration: 16/25
Infrastructure: 17/25
International Standing: 81/100
Morale: 83/100
Status: Growing Independence Movement, Military Organization, Colonial Administration
 
Jul 13, 2017
22
1
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"The South is Avenged!"
The night of Good Friday proved to be a very bloody night indeed, and by no means symbolically. The President of the United States had been shot by the brother of a man who saved his son's life, and his time left on Earth was a question for the wind. The Vice President had been attacked by a Rebel sympathizer and suffered grievous wounds to his arms and legs. While the Secretary of State was fortunately unharmed, he had lost his dear son in the attacks. Washington was in chaos, with not even the Army aware of who was taking charge and issuing orders.

Meanwhile, the Congressman Thaddeus Stevens sat in his office in the middle of the night, silently fuming. It seemed as if the damned South felt that it could not extract enough blood and treasure from good and loyal people, just to continue their barbarism. And in this case, they exploited a small Constitutional weakness and exposed it for all of the world's people to see. The key members of the executive branch were in no position to offer even the slightest semblance of leadership tonight, or even this weekend, or even for the coming weeks. Congress and the Army of the Potomac were going to be the sources of legitimate authority for the time being, by virtue of necessity. Stevens also wondered if it was also the same people who tried to kill General Grant, although he had no means of proving it.

As he was well aware that the President could die very soon, his mind searched back to the last few times they had talked policy. It was the middle-to-end of the previous month, as they discussed Western states' discussion over the 13th Amendment and the recent reports of cities in Texas having been finally captured by the armies of the Union. The President had been trying to devise a kinder and gentler approach to the reunification of the United States and had tried to use the belligerence between him and George Pendleton as an example for its necessity. Stevens was not on board with this idea and was starting to bring back the concerns he had over Lincoln's issuing of condolences to the "victims" of the Bloody Month. As he told the President, "You know who our enemies are, am I not mistaken?"

"I know, Congressman. But it just doesn't hurt to show a bit of Christian charity."

"Many a Negro would beg to differ. I know at least one who I can bring there to prove it."

"Once the South surrenders, we can sort out such things. In fact, we will have to."

"Time is of the essence, Mr. President. Richmond has to fall sooner rather than later. And to be honest, I do not have much faith in General Grant for him to pull off such a thing. I could be wrong, but nonetheless..."

"He's recovering, Congressman. And more importantly, he is leading his troops by example."

"You've said, along with that 'with malice towards none' bland noise. Mr. President, I hope for our nation that I am wrong about your judgments."

The Representative from Pennsylvania looked into his drawer and searched for whatever notes from the President he could find. After a few minutes, he had found a response to an old report from a fellow Radical, which called for the redistribution of plantation land and the trials of those behind succession and rebellion. The President simply jotted a few notes, "Perhaps a little too similar to Wade-Davis. Elements of it should be introduced at Army, Cabinet and Congressional discretion."

The man immediately scoured for more details; there was none. Well, he thought, the President is not in a state to split hairs on this matter. And for the rest of the night and weekend, Thaddeus Stevens was busy sending telegrams for the major players in Washington and for the rest of the Cabinet, to ensure that the power vaccum from that bloody Good Friday was properly filled...
 

Janha

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A letter to the President Abraham Lincoln of the Unites States of America
(If the President is incapable of reading this letter, a trustworthy man shall read this to him. If even that is not possible, this letter shall be given to the Vice President of USA or another trustworthy man.)

The Sultan of the Ottoman Empire has heard about the tragic event that took place in Washington.
His Majesty sends his deepest condolences to you, President Lincoln.
His Greatness also wishes you a quick recovery, and great suffering to the pathetic criminal behind your current, unfortunate, condition.

Signed by
Abdülaziz I, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, Caliph of Islam, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques
 
Jul 13, 2017
22
1
A letter to the President Abraham Lincoln of the Unites States of America
(If the President is incapable of reading this letter, a trustworthy man shall read this to him. If even that is not possible, this letter shall be given to the Vice President of USA or another trustworthy man.)

The Sultan of the Ottoman Empire has heard about the tragic event that took place in Washington.
His Majesty sends his deepest condolences to you, President Lincoln.
His Greatness also wishes you a quick recovery, and great suffering to the pathetic criminal behind your current, unfortunate, condition.

Signed by
Abdülaziz I, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, Caliph of Islam, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques
Thank you for your concern and condolences. However, we as a whole wish it was the actions of a simple criminal.

Sincerely,
Benjamin Wade, President pro tempore of the United States Senate
 
Jul 13, 2017
22
1
spit1.jpg


Appendix
A Little Too Real: British Puppets Do Their Take on the Reconstruction Melodrama

by #TeamEbony, February 1, 2013
(Note: This is something that came to my mind, and is just for fun.)
The Reconstruction melodrama, for better or worse, is one of the uniquely American works of art that black audiences have had to experience in a very personal way. On the surface level, the genre made sense in terms of culture and history. The whole country had just concluded the Civil War and completed the process of emancipation, and large numbers of whites were still wrapping around their heads the basic idea of their fellow human beings not only being free but having equal rights as citizens before the law. On the other hand, while the initial works of the genre had a few gems that have held up over the years, a good majority had the same tired stereotypes of freedmen and the occasional case of making the dispossessed plantation-owning family the heroes of the story.

Which brings us to Spitting Image; or to put it in dumb drunk tourist terms, London's SNL by way of Avenue Q. Most of you have probably never heard of the show, except for those who have dealt with apartheid-era South Africa. And even then, you've only heard of the song "I've Never Met A Nice South African", which is one of the many righteously vicious anti-apartheid songs from before Mandela was released. Then again, the show and its writers were far more interested in making fun of the British government in general and the Conservative Party under Margaret Thatcher in particular. So when that political party suffered an embarrassing election defeat in 1989, the showrunners were more or less caught flat-footed. Apparently, one of them saw one of the many Hollywood adaptations on a TV somewhere and then decided to use the genre's clichés for the sake of satire. And so for the sake of our younger audiences, we will analyze the sketch and how it relates to the works that created the formula that the writers mock via American accents of varying skill.

(Note: For the Brits in the audience, most of these names are unfamiliar to us and we had to Google them. So if there's a reference we overlooked or anything like that, that's the reason why.)

Throughout the sketch, which is split into multiple parts throughout an episode, we see a distinct conflict between the "black" and the "white" narratives, with news anchor Sir Trevor McDonald representing the former and ex-politician Jeffery Archer representing the latter. They occasionally do a back-and-forth about the narrative, with the latter's being far more opinionated. Supposedly, the genuine article reacted to his portrayal in a way that left a bad taste in the showrunners' mouth and tried to limit his puppet's screen presence. That's the first major difference, as a standard Reconstruction melodrama would've used someone like Archer as the sole narrator.

Then, of course, the sketch runs into the same pitfall as much of the source material by treating the newly emancipated as more or less generic figures with not much personality. There are exceptions, such as boxer Chris Eubank being portrayed as the verbose mayor of the town of Whitehall (ha ha ha). But then again, most of the freedmen either just toil away at farm work, spout out general philosophy or exist to be taken advantage of by the Foreign Businessmen. To use one example, when a Freedman played by Morgan Freeman's puppet asks a Foreign Businessman played by Douglas Hurd's for a horse or a mule, the Businessman sells him a nosebag, saddle, and a riding crop. Also thrown into the mix as the Southern Unionists (or "scalawags") represented by the members of the Conservative Party still in positions of power.

As you may have guessed, the writers drew a parallel between the Conservatives who fell from power and the planters who supported secession and paid the price for doing so, complete with the song "My Sweet Maggienolia". Meanwhile, the new government officials are represented as commanders in the Union Army and the occasional humorous carpetbagger who drifted down South. The newly-installed PM Denis Healey is represented as the Major at the Military Division Headquarters, No. 10 (again, ha ha ha). Lower officials such as Neil Kinnock and Roy Hattersley are subordinate officers, and it is actually interesting to see Tony Blair as the leader of an Amry patrol that initially discovers the first schemes of the Villain (usually one of the more megalomaniacal planters trying to create a "Southern Empire"), but then ignores it. Another figure is Tony Benn as an old radical ex-abolitionist who wants to teach the Freedman (read: hawk his unsold books and pamphlets), which a normal example would have treated as unintentionally causing more trouble between blacks and whites.

While the standard Reconstruction melodrama would have let the second act consist of love stories, that is skipped. Instead, we are taken to the climax, where both innocent and guilty figures are taken by the Army to be hanged in the town square. One of the southern conservatives tries to make the standard author's mouthpiece speech about reconciliation and peace, but it is told to shut up by Sgt. Hattersley. Just as then, two different groups of those who represented the New and the Old South attempt to rescue their respective condemned friends. The Headquarters is then just told that they may have the wrong people sent to hang and sends in the Calvary with the papers for pardons (Not that this consistently happened in real life, but okay...). Then the condemned would break free and start the duel between the Hero and the Villain, usually resolved as the Calvary rides in; here in rubber form, the situation devolves into chaos.


At the end of each of the normal Reconstruction, the Hero and other figures would each give a speech about the themes patriotism, unity, and future reconciliation as the Villains are arrested. On Spitting Image, however, the speeches are short-breathed and often cut short, and the episode ends as the aforementioned Mayor Eubank telling Sgt. Kinnock to shut up before he finishes.
 
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