Aaaargh. The pink text hurts my eyes.
Well, better a crusader than a heretic, that's true.
Well, better a crusader than a heretic, that's true.
For the pope! (Or not)
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Twenty Years (two months) have passed since i have last actually thought of what has become of me (eg i have updated the AAR).
I am strongest ruler in this part of mediterranean, and i have pope in my pocket, only worry of mine is that my inheritance will go to my grand-grand-grand cousin instead of my son. That will be easy to take care of. Troopers are sent to Corsica, to claim the island to be a haven of christianity, or in other words dump for those that oppose my rule. However it seems that my son does not understand the laws of inheritance, and gave away the new title to hes own son. I have little choice other than change the inheritance laws. I hope that will not rip the whole nation apart.
So, they counquer the Burgos, and two months later it is captured again. Another show of the great Spanish military minds. *Sigh*
I am surrounded by idiots.
Oct 1158 - Maybe this will cheer me up, ill excommunicate the smarter child of the Emperor of HRE!
...
1161 - Pope decides to expand hes demesne to Al-Muarabitids or something like to the west. I send him some troops (and pay them with papal indulgences).
1166 - Pope calls for another crusade, this time at Alexandria.
1167 - I strenghted my hold again, taking over a single town at Sicily (it had been in war with Venice for over 10 years with neither side making moves) and tiny Malta in middle of sea.
Well, now that i have risen to my earned position, i need to lay out some long term plans. I know i have them, just give me a minute while i think.
....
....
I am strongest ruler in this part of mediterranean, and i have pope in my pocket, only worry of mine is that my inheritance will go to my grand-grand-grand cousin instead of my son. That will be easy to take care of. Troopers are sent to Corsica, to claim the island to be a haven of christianity, or in other words dump for those that oppose my rule. However it seems that my son does not understand the laws of inheritance, and gave away the new title to hes own son. I have little choice other than change the inheritance laws. I hope that will not rip the whole nation apart.
So, they counquer the Burgos, and two months later it is captured again. Another show of the great Spanish military minds. *Sigh*
I am surrounded by idiots.
Oct 1158 - Maybe this will cheer me up, ill excommunicate the smarter child of the Emperor of HRE!
...
1161 - Pope decides to expand hes demesne to Al-Muarabitids or something like to the west. I send him some troops (and pay them with papal indulgences).
1166 - Pope calls for another crusade, this time at Alexandria.
1167 - I strenghted my hold again, taking over a single town at Sicily (it had been in war with Venice for over 10 years with neither side making moves) and tiny Malta in middle of sea.
Well, now that i have risen to my earned position, i need to lay out some long term plans. I know i have them, just give me a minute while i think.
....
....
Well he certainly didnt last long. I am Giancito, and i am the best swordsman in whole africa. I have the holy mission to crush all that oppose me, hang them from their innards, grill their eyes and dance naked on their sacred ground.
And you are the first one! How dare you spit on my boots!
Troops were prepared, and send to Alexandria.
Not even a challenge.
Sep 1175 - Pope is thankful of my work in Egypt, and says to
do a favour to me once the time comes.
Jan 1177 - In Alexandria i hang three hundred moslem in crosses, each hanging from various parts in their bodies. Papal troops storm the city throwing bibles around.
Dec 1178 - Giancito falls ill.
Damnit, i cant even force them back without getting pope's anger.
Feb 1182 - I call my old favour from the new pope, i have him excommunicate the HRE, as the fell into civil war is clearly a sign that god no longer supports the king. After that i declare that whole Italy should be under papal control, not divided into two as is.
Oct 1182 - It warms me to see the big empire fall into bits, and even my
flu is gone, Italy for m-- the pope! Germany separates from the HRE in the
heat of war.
Nov 1184 - It seems my actions took a twist i couldnt fortell -
part of HRE, the Burgundy-Italian kingdom was taken over by the French,
excellent opportunism from them.
Oct 1185 - Pope wants me to go crusade. I have little choice but to accept.
Oct 1186 - I send some troops to Egypt, take over some Moslem land.
Oct 1188 - I sponsor Papal Stormtroopers to attack south of Alexandria,
and Buhairya is soon Catholic.
Feb 1193 - My sons are finally grown up. I give Alexandria to Secondotto.
1196-1197 - It seems there was a slight.. misunderstanding. During conquering of a Duchy in Northern Italy, Englishmen were drawn into the fight by an alliance which i shouldnt have broken, yet my vassals did. I did not get any spots on my reputation, but the pope lost part of he's African holdings. I hope he doesnt figure out it was me.
Jan 1201 - It is time to ignite a fire. Pope wanted a crusade,
and i financed such. In exchange, i got him to excommunicate the French king from "uninterest in crusades". This shall give me a chance to twist the rest of Italy myself.
Sep 1205 - Modena is mine, but i want more!
1206 - I am duke of Lombardia! Ehehehe!
The crazy ones always get to be saints. I quite liked the brief reign of his father. Your dedication to remaining a vassal is very admirable, makes for a nice twist on the AAR.
Spamiards are too busy spaming to do anything else. They need us, Catalans, to conquer the world :rofl:
JimboIX said:
My thoughts, exactly.
This game produces a LOT of crazies. Every fourth one or so. And this is BEFORE syphilis arrived to Europe.