The Kreml, Winter 1947
Zhukov: The Chinese are getting even more powerful. Are you sure we made the right choice?
Molotov: I don't know anything anymore... USA annexing Canada and Mexico got my head messed.
Konev: At least we aren't freeing 0 IC nations.
Kulik: I'M PIZZAD! ...PISSED!!!
Molotov: Eek! Kulik?!
Orlov: Are you talking about my Kulik cat? ...Ooh no, it's the real Kulik.
Kulik: YOU LEFT ME IN THE SEA AND I HAD TO SWIM HERE THROUGH ISTANBUL! I HAD NO PIZZA OR VODKA TO HELP ME!!! SOME WW1 YUGOSLAVIAN DESTROYER HELPED ME THOUGH...
Kulik: I BOUGHT THESE MAPS FROM SOME GUY IN THE MARKETPLACE IN ISTANBUL. HE TOLD ME THAT IT IS THE ULTIMATE PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINANCE!
Zhukov: No way... looks like he only messed some map with rotten fruits.
Kulik: STOP LOWERING MY MORALE!
Kulik: I'M SO PIZZAD, SO SOMEBODY IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!
Zhukov: Noouuu! Somebody stop that hulk from pressing the DOW button!
Molotov: Don't look at me, I'm the diplomat! We need Chuikov!
Orlov: I NEED AT LEAST 10 CRAZY MINUTEZZ ZO DIG HIM UP FROM HIS GrAvEe! <^^>
Konev: YOU ARE CRAZY! But sometimes Molotov gets those crazy burts of rage. COME ON MOLOTOV, IT'S FOR WORLD PEACE!
Molotov: Chaarge!
Kulik:
UUURGHHH RAAGH!!!
Molotov: What have we... I mean
you done?!
And so it began...
0300 hours, two hours after the declaration of war. The first contact between the Allies and Soviets.
Soviet Air General #52: What is this, Spanish planes?
Soviet Pilot #73: Our turbojets are superior, but 1:3... we have to fall back. Wait, radio...
Kulik:
SHOOT THEM ALL DOWN, YOU WILL RAISE THE RED ARMY MORALE!
Zhukov:
Kulik, you know they will get owned, give me that!
Kulik:
SHUT UP YOU IDIOT, THEY CAN HEAR YOU IF YOU SHOUT TOO LOUD THAT THEY WILL GET OWNED!
Soviet Air General #52:
Kulik: What is this? Italian border defended by a single Ethiopian division?! Soon I will return to power and claim all pizzas, especially Naples... the pizza capital.
Zhukov: Seems that the Allies are well entrenched here. They have forts and the best British crack units, not to mention more advanced -47 infantry.
Konev: This is a different war... Turbojet fighters destroying squadrons in one single combat. Over 100 org divisions that can hold out for days or capture a province in two hours. This won't be the same as the Great Patriotic War...
Soviet Air General #82: HAHA, LIFE IS TOO EASY! THEY CAN'T EVEN SCRATCH THE PAINT OFF MY PLANE! PILOOTZ, FIAAR ALL ROKIITZ!
Molotov: You saw this comrade Zhukov?
Zhukov: Yes, Turkey has chosen her side... we only have 5 divisions our the Caucasus border. Molotov, are you sure that their divisions are mostly obsolete early ww2 divisions?
Molotov: Our intelligence says so. Those mountains should be easy to defend.
Zhukov: By vodka, those American tanks are superior to our tesla tanks! Looks like Model put a lot of money on tank deveploment.
Kulik: BUT WE HAVE THE NUMBERS, SO STOP LOWERING THE MORALE!
Zhukov: Shut up Kulik, this mess is your fault! I'm in charge now, so I'm in charge of the morale!
Kulik: ADMIT IT, YOU WANTED TO DOW THEM, BUT YOU WERE SCARED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL! AS FOR THE MORALE, YOU NEED A GOOD KOMISSAR KULIK TO YOUR SERVICE.
Orlov: Our new paratroopers did their job well. We dropped them to Dortmund and Saarbrucken. Now we can encircle the capitalist scum... and their rokkit tankz!
Zhukov: We are doing good, aside from a few air defeats.
Come on WiF AI, is this all you got?! America has 1000 IC, COME ON!!!
5 hrs later everything changed...
Leningrad, 1000 May 2, 33 hours after the DOW.
NKVD Report on the so-called American Operation 'Bright Retribution'
The NKVD had no idea where it came. Scandinavia was under Soviet domination. Turkey joined the war just 9 hours before the detonation. It is suggested that the bomber might have flown from the Central European airfields or even the UK. It penetrated the Soviet air superiority fighters assigned to support the offensive operations in Europe. Leningrad faced massive damage. Infrastructure was lowered from 100% to 65%, permanently. Partisan activity increased by 7% by NKVD estimates. 3 divisions of best Soviet Marines vanished and the new Red Navy destroyers faced massive damage. Americans targeted an important strategical position instead of Moscow. They knew that our fleet and marines were there. This will seriously delay the invasion of UK. This is much like the Pearl Harbor in -41, maybe they had learned from it. It is suspected that American spies might have infiltrated the highest positions in the Kreml. It is unknown how many spies and nukes they have. The range is unknown, but with Turkey no city in the USSR is safe.
The Soviets knew that the Americans had the so-called A-bomb under development, but didn't believe that the Americans were ahead of the V-bomb. Model's coup was thought to have delayed the development, or even the anti-facists scientists might have destroyed the program to stop this madman from destroying the world. We couldn't have been more wrong.
Currently the V-bomb is under finishing stages. The first prototype and the new lvl6 reactor should be ready in -47. It is an upmost priority to develop the V-bomb to stop the Americans from lauchings further attacks and finally to destroy their silos in the US.
Nobody is safe, the Red Army is our only shield. We have defeated the fascists, but this is something different. But we shall defeat the capitalists as well and find the persons responsible for this terrible attack.
Kulik: Our nation... our navy, everything.
Zhukov: This is what we get... the most dangerous man in the world controlling the most powerful nation in the world.
Kulik: We have to raise the morale to continue this war... 100 DISSENT, WHAT THE?! THE USSR WON'T BREAK THAT EASY! GET ME ORLOV!
Orlov: Yea, u called in the middle of my V-experiments.
Kulik: I KNOW, MAKE THAT BOMB. BUT I WANT YOU TO MAKE A SONG... FOR LENINGRAD!
Orlov: To the recording studio!
The recording studio (32 pic limit, boo!)...
Orlov:
Ooh... I once had a cat in da Leningrad! ...That's it, I can't do this! I'm not gonna humiliate myself again...
Kulik: COME ON, ALL THOSE CATS! YOU'RE DOING GREAT!
Orlov:
Ooh... I once had a cat in da Leningrad! And then da Americans kidnapped it and nuked Leeningraado! I dunno why I'm singing like da Voroshilov dude, but just goes like this. Give it to me... WASHINGTON DJ TOMORROW W00T! LONDON, PARIS, BERLIN... OH YEA WE GOT IT! REYKJAVIK, FRENCH POLYNESIA, JORDAN, EVERYONE WITH ME, YEA!
Molotov: The record sales are high. This is working afterall!
Soviet Pilot #27: Hey, that song is great, so I'm gonna drop some extra bombs! ...Oh yea, intercept. :/
Kulik: Stupid Chinese, they aren't getting nuked, so take your time in entering Korea, yea.
Konev: Will the war be like this? That British divisions has held the 9 Afganese and ours back for almost 72 hrs.
Zhukov: So much for the early ww2 infantry... send the mountaineers!
Konev: This is the most uber thing ever! A French tank division attacking 156% across a river?! Our paras defend 70% or something, because of the stupid 30% dissent...
Kulik: We are slowly pushing the British rats back... Monty's rats, yea.
Orlov: NJEEET! MY ROKKIT MARINE DIVISION THAT PWNED TAIWAN!
Molotov: The first piece of territory lost.
Zhukov: At least it's not hours... stupid Afganese army. 9 divs and that 1 British div is laughing on our face.
Kulik: THOSE PARAS ARE HEROES! ALMOST 50% OF THE DIVISION HAS BEEN DESTROYED, BUT THEY ARE HOLDING THE PRECIOUS ENCIRCLEMENT. HERE WE SHALL DESTROY THE EX DESERT RATS IN ONE SWING!
Zhukov: I'm not so sure...
Kulik: THEY ARE HEROES! THEY SHALL BE NAMED THE
1. KULIK IS HUNGRY -Division!
Molotov: Errm... ok.
Zhukov: At least the intel of the Turkish airforce was right... ww1 bombers in ww3, haha!
Konev: But everyone fears the Norwegian airforce now! They helped us in Taiwan too, remember?
Zhukov: I remember. But the resistance in Italy is growing...
Kulik: BUT AFTER ROME AND NAPLES IT WILL FALL... THEIR ARMY NEEDS PIZZA!
Kulik: OH YEA, I DOWED YUGOSLAVIA AND BULGARIA! THEY CALL THEMSELVES LEFT-RADICALS, BUT REFUSED TO JOIN US! BUT NOW THEY WILL... AFTER SOME FIGHTING OFC.
Zhukov: Kulik, we have enough problems already!
Molotov: Yes... 80% of the world.
