Kulik's HQ, Spring 1945
Molotov: Sofia has been captured by...
Kulik: THE BRITISH, I'M SO FURIOUS!
Zhukov: No, we captured it!
Kulik: HAHA! IN YOUR FACE CHURCHILL!!!
Molotov: Yes, that picture of Churchill looks a little more scary now...
Zhukov: Time for the Red Army to enter Yugoslavia!
Paulus: Time for ze Germans zo re-enzer Hungary!
German Officer #53: Jaja, zhen we will annex it and ze Zoviets will get lots of angry partizans.
Paulus: Ja, like in Russia. All zhose angry partizans...
Zhukov: Hungary is socialist now, get out of here!
Kulik: Good, even Manstein can't stop us. The Germans will be defeated this year!
Manstein: I don't get it! Our tanks get deszroyed instantly. Back in -42 und -43 zhey could hold out for weeks.
Soviet Officer #54: Time to liberate Belgrade komrades!
Molotov: Komrade Stalin, the Polish are offering a deal!
Stalin: I don't trust them, let's see...
Stalin: WHAT IS THIS?! WE GIVE THEM 1000 SUPPLIES AND THEY GIVE US 500, THAT MEANS WE LOSE 500!!!
Kulik: 1000+500=300 errm... KOMRADE STALIN IS RIGHT, THOSE POLES THINK WE CAN'T COUNT!
Molotov: Wait, we give them 30 manpower, but our manpower is 0.
Stalin: HAHA, NOW WELL SHOW THOSE POLES, LET'S AGREE!
Kulik: DA, WE LOSE 500 SUPPLIES, BUT THEY GET NO MEN! HAHA!
Zhukov: This is useful, the Germans have one strongpoint less.
Konev: But we have to advance from the south to link up with the city, it's winter everywhere in the north.
Stalin: WHAT IS THIS, POLAND DECLARED INDEPENDENT AND OUR TROOPS GET DEPLOYED TO MOSKVA?!?
Kulik: THOSE POLISH TRICKED US, THEY KNEW THIS ALL ALONG!
Molotov: They just told me, that they think that they can defeat the disorganized German army without any divisions.
Zhukov: What?!
Molotov: What, a new report?
Stalin: WHAT IS THIS, NOW THEY REALIZED THAT THEY CAN'T DEFEAT THE GERMANS WITH JUST PARTISAN ACTIVITY! ALSO THEY GIVE US SUPPLIES, OIL AND WE HAVE NO CHOICE, BUT TO ALLY WITH THEM?!?
Zhukov: We have to get new troops there, the troops heading to Moscow have to be redeployed.
Molotov: The Allies have captured Paris and they are making good progress.
Stalin: GOOD PROGRESS, NO IT'S BAD PROGRESS!!!
Kulik: We will have our new techs ready to stop them, right?
Molotov: What do you mean?
Kulik: Super bears, tesla tanks, Karl Marx and Lenin zombies?
Stalin: No, not Lenin! May he rest in peace.
Molotov: Well, not excatly, but let's have a look...
Stalin: Nice, we have everything, except paratroopers and marines.
Zhukov: Lots of rockets and powerful tanks, nice and simple.
Molotov: Our navy techs are the same as in -36.
Stalin: That's a lot of researching for the -45 carrier. Where is our navy minister anyway, I haven't seen him / them for over 10 years.
Zhukov: At least our airforce is doing a little better, but we need that cool new turbojet stuff.
Stalin: We have researched a lot, but...
Molotov: What?
Stalin: WHERE ARE OUR NUKES, PATTON HAS NUKES AND HE IS GOING TO KICK OUR ASS!
Molotov: Patton isn't the US President!
Stalin: I DON'T CARE, THEY JUST SIT IN THEIR WHITE HOUSE SOMEWHERE IN MEXICO AND DRINK THEIR CAPITALIST TEA!
Molotov: Ermm, right. Let's move on...
Konev: Zhukov's done a great job with these doctrines!
Zhukov: Da, we wouldn't have pushed those Germans anywhere with our -41 organization of 30.
Kulik: What, no super bears or zombies?!
Molotov: No, just computers and rocket interceptors.
Stalin: Research those interceptors, so we'll have something cool to show Patton!
Stalin: Naval doctrines, what are they?!
Molotov: I'm not sure, they must be some sort of naval fighting tactics.
Kulik: Never heard of them.
Zhukov: Our air doctrines are ok, tactical bombers and fighters.
Molotov: And also the naval bombers, althrough we don't have them.
Konev: They could be useful later...
Molotov: And here are the divisions.
Stalin: Good, we have more divisions than the Americans and British combined.
Kulik: What, Sweden has the 7th largest army in the world, are they planning for a world conquest?
Zhukov: But luckily US has only 54 divisions, they aren't a big threat.
Molotov: Don't forget about their IC of 900, airforce and navy...
Stalin: HE SAID THEY AREN'T A BIG THREAT, DON'T LOWER THE RED ARMY MORALE, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!
Kulik: WHAT IS THE STATUS OF EUROPE MOLOTOV?!
Stalin: LOOK, I DREW UP THIS RED LINE, IT IS A REALISTIC OBJECTIVE FOR OUR FORCES!
Zhukov: The Allies are only 1 prov...
Kulik: HE SAID IT IS A REALISTIC OBJECTIVE FOR OUR FORCES!
Molotov: My ears are ringing...
