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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Snake IV

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El Pip said:
6th September 1936On his return to Oslo King Haakon found a note from Koht on his desk

'Finland called while you were out, asked us to be more like them. I said you'd get back to them later.'

And so Norway was barely influenced by Finland.
:rofl: I love it.
 

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7th September 1939

King Haakon VII is in the cabinet room reading the latest report on the country's matchstick shortage when Prime Minister Nygaardsvold sprinted into the room.

"Your majesty! Vital news from the east!" Nvgaardsvold exclaimed.

"What have Sweden done now?"

"Not them! Further east than that!"

"Not Finland! What are those drunkards up to?" The King asked.

"Not them either! The Far East! The exasperated Nvgaardsvold replied.

"Not?"

"Yes!" Nvgaardsvold confirmed.

"The British colony of Fiji! The world's most easterly island, beyond which you cross the International date line and enter the Western Hemisphere!"

"No! Go back west again!" Nvgaardsvold screamed.

"Japan?"

"Yes! Japan has declared war on the Chinese warlord state of Sinkiang."

"And you're telling me this why?" The King asked in confusion.

"Sinkiang is landlocked, shares no borders with any Japanese territory or puppet and is out of range of Japanese aircraft! It's a pointless war as the two armies can never meet, we think the Japanese government has gone crazy!"

"Ahhh. Any other news?"

"Yes Germany has ripped through Poland, retaking Poznan and the Danzig corridor and capturing Warsaw. The General Staff don't believe Poland will still be in the war at the end of the month." Nvgaardsvold said.

"They'll be happy about that, no one likes fighting a war."

"No your majesty, they wont be in the war because they will have lost and been annexed by Germany!" The Prime Minster shouted.

"Oh. Yes I suppose that is bad news. We're still neutral though?"

"Yes you majesty." Nvgaardsvold sighed.

"Right, well I'm off for a long weekend at the Fjords. Keep the country ticking over while I'm gone."

"Norway is a constitutional monarchy, you don't actually run the country!" Nvgaardsvold snapped.

"So your saying power lies with those who are elected?"

"Yes! Norway should be run by those the Norwegian people voted for!"

"Well the monarchy was voted for in a referendum, so I was elected. I'm just using my powers under the 1814 constitution. I really don't know what your problem is Nvgaarsdvold." With that the King headed off for his weekend retreat.

Nobody tried to influence Norway during this time. The foreign office was very upset and lodged a formal protest with the League of Nations.
 
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unmerged(31881)

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How many Fjords does Norway have? i'm sure if anybody knows, this Haakon chap would.
But since he's seems a busy sort, i'll just keep wondering to myself.
That and waiting for the next installment of the AAR.
:D
 

unmerged(45769)

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Tskb18 said:
How many Fjords does Norway have? i'm sure if anybody knows, this Haakon chap would.
But since he's seems a busy sort, i'll just keep wondering to myself.
That and waiting for the next installment of the AAR.
:D

*Countacountacounta* 1...3...56.456..2306...3889
 

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12th September 1939

King Haakon VII, freshly returned from his long weekend was back at work back on time at 9am. Sadly it was 9am Tuesday, not Monday but he had made the effort. The King and Koht were discussing a cunning plan with Adolf Indrebø, the armaments minister.

"So what your saying is if we start mass whaling we will be able to expand candle and lamp production dramatically?" The King asked.

"Yes your majesty. With more candles we could free up thousands of domestic torches for millitary use." Inderbø replied.

"It's a bunch of Lies!" Koht intervened.

"What do you mean Koht? It sounds a perfectly reasonable plan to me." Haakon said.

In reply Koht pointed to the door. The King turned and said.

"You're right, it is a pack of Lies. What is the meaning of this?"

"It's national bring your child to work day your majesty" Trygve Lie replied. "And I would appreciate you not calling my family a pack."

"Fair enough Lies. Why are you interupting this vital meeting?"

"I bring vital news of critical importance to the Kingdom of Norway!" The Minister for Shipping and Supplies replied.

"Well, what is it?" The King asked impatiently.

"The Netherlands have cancelled a trade agreement, we will no longer be recieving their rare materials!"

Inderbø fainted and King Haakon visibly staggered. Koht looked confused.

"Why is that so bad?" Koht asked.

In a trembling voice the King answered.

"It is from Holland we import the the rare earth metals needed to make ferrocerium."

"Why is ferrocerium so important?" The still confused Koht questioned.

"Ferrocerium is the alloy used to make artificial flints. Without it we cannot make lighters."

And so noble Norway, already in the depths of a matchstick shortage, was plunged towards a terrifying and badly lit abyss.
 
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And so noble Norway, already in the depths of a matchstick shortage, was plunged towards a terrifying and badly lit abyss.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

"Watch out for that step."

"What step-- ARRGGGHHH!" (thud)

"That step."
 

unmerged(47162)

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:rofl: :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
 

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14th September 1939

Despite the serious lighter crisis the work of government had to continue. King Haakon VII, Foreign Minister Koht and General Ljungberg are gathered to discuss the vital issue of the day.

"Look Koht just pay up!" Ljunberg told the foreign minister.

"But this is just unreasonable, how was I supposed to allow for what happened?" Koht complained.

"I allowed it for it, that's why I won. Now pay up."

"Your majesty this isn't fair." Koht complained to the King.

"I sorry Koht, the General said Poland would fall by the end of the week, you bet it would last longer and it didn't. Now just bite the bullet and pay up." The King said.

"They could of lasted longer if they'd been competent." Koht whined as he handed over the money.

"But they weren't, instead of trying to hold Cracow they went and invaded Slovakia." Ljunberg said.

"Yes but yesterday they gave away half the country for no reason. If they hadn't done that they might still be in the war! How was anyone supposed to predict they'd do something like that?" Koht countered.

It was true, the Polish governments cedeing of the eastern half of the country to the Soviet Union while still at war with Germany had confused everyone, not least the Polish Army.

"Well they did and then Germany annexed what was left this morning. Let that be a valuable lesson to you." The King told Koht.

"What has it taught me?" The confused Koht asked.

"Don't bet on the Poland resisting a German invasion for more than a week after Warsaw falls."

"That's a very specific lesson."

"Well it's the only lesson I've got so appreciate it. What news from Oslo University?" The King changed the subject.

"Well we've asked Waldemar Christofer Brøgger and there are no flint deposits or rare earth metals in Norway. It's all igneous granites apparently."

"Right, we'll have to go with Project Prometheus then." The King decided.

And so the mysterious and secretive Project Prometheus was started. Meanwhile the League of Nations continued to show it's ineptitude as Norway's formal protest had no effect, no-one tried to influence them.
 
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Project Prometheus eh?

El Pip said:
Well it's the only lesson I've got so appreciate it.

:rofl:
 

El Pip

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I'm glad people are enjoying this and now I present the oldest of old AAR trick, giving readers a part. :D

Don't worry, I'm not out of ideas, but for the next part I need several names for soldiers of the Hans Majestet Kongens Garde (His Majesty The King's Guard). Rather than make them up I thought I'd offer the vacanices to the readers of this tale.

Now it is a dangerous mission and I don't expect all of you to come back (it depends on how the writing goes ;)) but its succss is vital to the country and those who return will be the heroes of Norway!

Step forward all who are brave!
 

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El Pip said:
I'm glad people are enjoying this and now I present the oldest of old AAR trick, giving readers a part. :D

Don't worry, I'm not out of ideas, but for the next part I need several names for soldiers of the Hans Majestet Kongens Garde (His Majesty The King's Guard). Rather than make them up I thought I'd offer the vacanices to the readers of this tale.

Now it is a dangerous mission and I don't expect all of you to come back (it depends on how the writing goes ;)) but its succss is vital to the country and those who return will be the heroes of Norway!

Step forward all who are brave!

*US Marine-type sharpness* Sir, as a citizen of Norway i volunteer for this mission and demand to be sent out immediately, Sir!
 

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Who ever said the HMKG will be fighting Germans? :p

This mission, in support of Project Prometheus, will not be against any member of the Axis, Allies or Commintern and will not end up with Norway taking sides in the War. I can say no more at this stage, except to emphasise the importance of this mission. It is truly vital!

kenneththegreat! Step forward. Here's three shiny stars and the rank of Kaptein (which better be Norwegian for Captain *cross fingers*) You will be commanding this mission and King Haakon VII has every faith in your ability!

Roll up, roll up many ranks still available! Book now to avoid disappointment! :D
 

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El Pip said:
Who ever said the HMKG will be fighting Germans? :p

This mission, in support of Project Prometheus, will not be against any member of the Axis, Allies or Commintern and will not end up with Norway taking sides in the War. I can say no more at this stage, except to emphasise the importance of this mission. It is truly vital!

kenneththegreat! Step forward. Here's three shiny stars and the rank of Kaptein (which better be Norwegian for Captain *cross fingers*) You will be commanding this mission and King Haakon VII has every faith in your ability!

Roll up, roll up many ranks still available! Book now to avoid disappointment! :D

Sir, Kaptein is Captain, sir! And i am honored to take this rank, Sir! I expect my fellow Norwegians join these ranks, SIR!

General Jac, du sa noe om å bli med i garden