21st of September, Radio Norway broadcast station.
The Norwegian government has gathered in the main studio of Radio Norway, the finest radio station in all of Western Scandanavia. Famed for it's in depth reportage of herring based news stories, daring exposes of match shortages and proud owner of a restraining order banning it from putting a microphone within 50ft of Sonja Henie, this station, three time winner of the stereotypical radio station of the year award, is about to bear witness to a small piece of history. Foreign Minister Koht is harranging King Haakon VII. As usual.
"Look I'm just not sure this is the best way to pick the new head of the air force." Koht said.
"I confess I'm not convinced either, but Wold seems convinced about it." The King answered.
"So it's your fault Wold!" Koht rounded on the new victim.
The Minister for Security looked up in shock.
"What me? All I said was that this idea is going to be really big one day, I never said we should do it now." Wold tried to weasel out of the blame.
The King intervened.
"It doesn't matter who's idea it is. We're doing it so let's get it over with."
"I demand at least a name change! The current one is ridiculous!" Nygaardsvold
"True, 'Big, Celebrity-stars-on-their-shoulder-factor the rivals: show down, brother'©® doesn't really flow well does it?"
"How about Airforce-Idol?" Roscher-Lund suggested.
"That's better." Nygaardsvold conceded. "If we're going to do this 'reality radio' rubbish lets at least try not to sound too ridiculous.
Airforce-Idol? No that'll never catch on.
"Let in our first contestant, sorry applicant, will you Ljungberg?" The King asked.
"Hello I'm Harald Bruusgaard and I'd like to be head of the Norwegian Air Froce please." The applicant said.
"You are aware the cabinet is already 'vowel rich', if we appoint you we'd risk running out completely."
Bruusgaard looked confused before replying.
"Well that's hardly my fault is it?"
"It's your name." The King retorted. "You could change it and remove the vowels, something like 'Hard Brgsrd' would be much better."
"What happened to the 'l'" Bruusgaard asked, getting far too involved in the details really.
"The King tries to avoid unnecessary 'l's due to an allergy to small plywood producing Baltic countries that also start with 'l'." Koht explained.
"But that makes no sense what so ever!" Bruusgaard complained.
"Indeed, but I'm afraid it's par for the course around here. If you can't cope you're better off out of it." The King explained.
"Fine I'll leave." Bruusgaard left in a huff.
"We didn't even ask him any real questions!" Nygaardsvold shouted.
"Didn't need to, just look at this application form. 'Naval Aviation' specialist indeed! We've only just separated those two and he wants to rejoin them! I'm not breaking this country again." The King decided.
"Umm that's not quite what he means." Admiral Diesen tentatively explained. "He actually wants naval bombers and carrier air wings to work more effectively."
"Do we or are ever likely to have an aircraft carrier or wings of dedicated naval bombers. Please bear in mind the military budget is heavily stretched just re-equipping Laake's infantry division?" Armaments minister Indrebø asked.
"No?" Diesen guessed.
"Well done. So it doesn't matter how well he would run those things, we'll never have them!"
"Ok, you we're right this time!" Nygaardsvold was forced to admit. "But I want to ask the next applicant real questions!"
"Fair enough, Ljunberg let him in."
"Hello, I'm Carl Gulliksen and I want to create the finest dressed fighter pilots in Scandinavia."
"Not actually that big an ambition is it Gulliksen?" Nygaardsvold asked.
"Not really no. But it's a realistic one, given there's no budget for anything else."
"I like that attitude! Some realism breaking into the cabinet, this boy could be an asset!" Koht enthused, ecstatic at the thought of someone sane joining the government.
"Thank you Carl, we've other applicants to see so we'll let you know later." The King finished the interview. "Next!
"I'm Trygve Klingenberg and if I win it's my ambition to work with children and animals towards world peace!"
The cabinet looked around in confusion at each other. Roscher-Lund broke the silence.
"I think your in the wrong show, Miss World is next door."
"Whoops, sorry about that." Klingenberg red faced walked back out the door.
"That was a bit odd." Koht said.
"Indeed." The King agreed. "I was wondering why he was wearing only a bikini and a tiara. Next!
"I'm Ole Reistad and I think we need a vast strategic air force to carpet bomb all who oppose us!"
"Two slight problems with that idea Reistad. One we can't afford strategic bombers and two we can't afford strategic bombers. I know that's technically one problem but it's such a big one I thought I should mention it twice." Indrebø interrupted.
"Really?"
The cabinet nodded in unison.
"Bugger." Reistad walked out in a depressed slump.
"Probably for the best, I couldn't take anyone called Olé seriously." The King confessed as the door shut. "Anyone else Ljunberg?"
"Just one your highness, a bit of an odd one but he is qualified."
"Well show him in then."
"I'm Comrade Henrik Norby and I want to build a vast strategic air force to carpet bomb the bourgeois and bring about the inevitable triumph of the proletariat! On the Revolution!"
Ignoring the deranged Norby the King turned to Ljunberg.
"Why are we even interviewing him?"
"Well he is the finest pilot in Norway. Admittedly we only have fifteen pilots and one of those is in prison, one is apparently a cross dressing beauty queen and one is on charges of high treason for brokenness. But he is an excellent pilot nonetheless."
"Fair enough, I'll let you off."
"So you want us to build you an air force you can then use to overthrow us?" The King asked Norby.
"That's about the size of it yes."
"What in the of all that is frozen and mountainous makes you think we'll agree to that?"
"Can't do any harm to ask can it?" The left wing radicalist tried to say, but was interrupted as he was dragged off in chains by the HMKG for high treason and higher stupidity.
"A sentiment that is often proved wrong." The King commented. "So what now Wold, this was your idea."
"We wait for the public vote I suppose."
Clearly most of the Norwegian military is broken, but has excellent taste in shoes. Who will win? Cast your votes by the medium of reply and a winner will be decided. In fact given the low level of candidate if anybody can put forward a better pitch (with picture) they may well win the job! Go on do it, and you might get an update!
The Norwegian government has gathered in the main studio of Radio Norway, the finest radio station in all of Western Scandanavia. Famed for it's in depth reportage of herring based news stories, daring exposes of match shortages and proud owner of a restraining order banning it from putting a microphone within 50ft of Sonja Henie, this station, three time winner of the stereotypical radio station of the year award, is about to bear witness to a small piece of history. Foreign Minister Koht is harranging King Haakon VII. As usual.
"Look I'm just not sure this is the best way to pick the new head of the air force." Koht said.
"I confess I'm not convinced either, but Wold seems convinced about it." The King answered.
"So it's your fault Wold!" Koht rounded on the new victim.
The Minister for Security looked up in shock.
"What me? All I said was that this idea is going to be really big one day, I never said we should do it now." Wold tried to weasel out of the blame.
The King intervened.
"It doesn't matter who's idea it is. We're doing it so let's get it over with."
"I demand at least a name change! The current one is ridiculous!" Nygaardsvold
"True, 'Big, Celebrity-stars-on-their-shoulder-factor the rivals: show down, brother'©® doesn't really flow well does it?"
"How about Airforce-Idol?" Roscher-Lund suggested.
"That's better." Nygaardsvold conceded. "If we're going to do this 'reality radio' rubbish lets at least try not to sound too ridiculous.
Airforce-Idol? No that'll never catch on.
"Let in our first contestant, sorry applicant, will you Ljungberg?" The King asked.
"Hello I'm Harald Bruusgaard and I'd like to be head of the Norwegian Air Froce please." The applicant said.
"You are aware the cabinet is already 'vowel rich', if we appoint you we'd risk running out completely."
Bruusgaard looked confused before replying.
"Well that's hardly my fault is it?"
"It's your name." The King retorted. "You could change it and remove the vowels, something like 'Hard Brgsrd' would be much better."
"What happened to the 'l'" Bruusgaard asked, getting far too involved in the details really.
"The King tries to avoid unnecessary 'l's due to an allergy to small plywood producing Baltic countries that also start with 'l'." Koht explained.
"But that makes no sense what so ever!" Bruusgaard complained.
"Indeed, but I'm afraid it's par for the course around here. If you can't cope you're better off out of it." The King explained.
"Fine I'll leave." Bruusgaard left in a huff.
"We didn't even ask him any real questions!" Nygaardsvold shouted.
"Didn't need to, just look at this application form. 'Naval Aviation' specialist indeed! We've only just separated those two and he wants to rejoin them! I'm not breaking this country again." The King decided.
"Umm that's not quite what he means." Admiral Diesen tentatively explained. "He actually wants naval bombers and carrier air wings to work more effectively."
"Do we or are ever likely to have an aircraft carrier or wings of dedicated naval bombers. Please bear in mind the military budget is heavily stretched just re-equipping Laake's infantry division?" Armaments minister Indrebø asked.
"No?" Diesen guessed.
"Well done. So it doesn't matter how well he would run those things, we'll never have them!"
"Ok, you we're right this time!" Nygaardsvold was forced to admit. "But I want to ask the next applicant real questions!"
"Fair enough, Ljunberg let him in."
"Hello, I'm Carl Gulliksen and I want to create the finest dressed fighter pilots in Scandinavia."
"Not actually that big an ambition is it Gulliksen?" Nygaardsvold asked.
"Not really no. But it's a realistic one, given there's no budget for anything else."
"I like that attitude! Some realism breaking into the cabinet, this boy could be an asset!" Koht enthused, ecstatic at the thought of someone sane joining the government.
"Thank you Carl, we've other applicants to see so we'll let you know later." The King finished the interview. "Next!
"I'm Trygve Klingenberg and if I win it's my ambition to work with children and animals towards world peace!"
The cabinet looked around in confusion at each other. Roscher-Lund broke the silence.
"I think your in the wrong show, Miss World is next door."
"Whoops, sorry about that." Klingenberg red faced walked back out the door.
"That was a bit odd." Koht said.
"Indeed." The King agreed. "I was wondering why he was wearing only a bikini and a tiara. Next!
Trygve Klingenberg at interview. You don't want to see this. Seriously.
"I'm Ole Reistad and I think we need a vast strategic air force to carpet bomb all who oppose us!"
"Two slight problems with that idea Reistad. One we can't afford strategic bombers and two we can't afford strategic bombers. I know that's technically one problem but it's such a big one I thought I should mention it twice." Indrebø interrupted.
"Really?"
The cabinet nodded in unison.
"Bugger." Reistad walked out in a depressed slump.
"Probably for the best, I couldn't take anyone called Olé seriously." The King confessed as the door shut. "Anyone else Ljunberg?"
"Just one your highness, a bit of an odd one but he is qualified."
"Well show him in then."
"I'm Comrade Henrik Norby and I want to build a vast strategic air force to carpet bomb the bourgeois and bring about the inevitable triumph of the proletariat! On the Revolution!"
Ignoring the deranged Norby the King turned to Ljunberg.
"Why are we even interviewing him?"
"Well he is the finest pilot in Norway. Admittedly we only have fifteen pilots and one of those is in prison, one is apparently a cross dressing beauty queen and one is on charges of high treason for brokenness. But he is an excellent pilot nonetheless."
"Fair enough, I'll let you off."
"So you want us to build you an air force you can then use to overthrow us?" The King asked Norby.
"That's about the size of it yes."
"What in the of all that is frozen and mountainous makes you think we'll agree to that?"
"Can't do any harm to ask can it?" The left wing radicalist tried to say, but was interrupted as he was dragged off in chains by the HMKG for high treason and higher stupidity.
"A sentiment that is often proved wrong." The King commented. "So what now Wold, this was your idea."
"We wait for the public vote I suppose."
Clearly most of the Norwegian military is broken, but has excellent taste in shoes. Who will win? Cast your votes by the medium of reply and a winner will be decided. In fact given the low level of candidate if anybody can put forward a better pitch (with picture) they may well win the job! Go on do it, and you might get an update!
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