Chapter 27
The Lost Valley
Giuseppe Tucci (left: at home, right: in India)
February 1946
Somewhere in Asia, far, far in the moutains
Two lone, little human forms walk among the immense rocks of frozen, desolate moutains on the Roof of the World.
Short Round: Doctor Tucci! We have been walking for many many hours! And it’s been days since we saw the last Indian village! And it’s been weeks since I last had a decent meal!
Giuseppe Tucci: Don’t be impatient Short Round! If my map is right, we will very soon find the first hint at the hidden entrance to the forgotten kingdom of Shambhala, where lies the legendary Silver Palace in the lost valley of Garuda!
Short Round: Don’t call me Short Round, my name is “Chogyal Namkhai Norbu”. I will be a Lama later. And I’m still hungry.
Giuseppe Tucci: Look there, Short Round! Right under that cliff! The entrance of that cave cooresponds precisely to the drawing I found in Kathmandu!
Both cautiously walk to the cave and peek inside.
Giuseppe Tucci: And here! This part of the cave was clearly walled-up, even if that was a very long time ago.
He rapidly scrubs the stones with his hand.
Giuseppe Tucci: Hmm, I can make out letters... words. Carved in stone... Let me see that...
He dons his glasses and begins to decipher.
Giuseppe Tucci: That’s Aramean! It reads “thggsr hgajrs muok kjhklmrt fg hurfl hj kfd thueix”.
Short Round: Oh, that’s funny. It ressembles Tibetan characters, and if you read it in Tibetan, it says “don’t break that wall or you will perish in the darkness”. Is that a coincidence?
Giuseppe Tucci: Ah! They thought I would be fooled by their trick and try to read it in Aramean, but luckily I’m too clever for them – we have to do the last thing they expected us to do, that is... simply read in Tibetan!
Short Round (
sighs): Oh boy. You really are the smartest, Doctor Tucci.
Giuseppe Tucci: OK now, Short Round, help me pry open that wall!
Short Round: Uh, Doctor Tucci, ain’t you supposed to number the stones, make a drawing of the site, then move them one by one?
Giuseppe Tucci: Listen my boy : archeology isn’t the research of the Truth – Truth is what Philosophy is about. Archeology is about finding treasures and getting the girl in the end. Do you understand? Screw the ruins.
Short Round: Oh, I want to be an archeologist later then ! But what about the warning ? Isn’t that dangerous to...
Giuseppe Tucci: Ah! Ah! How naive you are my young friend! This warning was merely meant to dissuade superstitious primitives! Push stronger, we’re almost through!
The wall collapses with a dreadful clatter.
Several meters lower, Dr Tucci and Short Round recover consciousness at the bottom of a pit.
Giuseppe Tucci: Nothing broken Short Round?
Short Round: Nothing Doctor Tucci... *ouch* That was quite a fall... You know, I had time to think over while I was passed out : the writing above us was more probably a safety directive.
Giuseppe Tucci: Do not let the twisted traps of the ancient kings discourage you. Those walls may be too smooth to climb the way back, but since there was an entrance, there must be an exit! First, help me to find my backpack – I lost it in the fall, and it’s really pitch black here...
Both begin randomly searching in the dark. After a moment...
Short Round: Doctor Tucci, I think I found something!
Giuseppe Tucci: Brave Short Round! I’m so glad that you’re...
Short Round: Uh no, forget it, it’s just a stone.
Giuseppe Tucci: ...
Short Round: Doctor Tucci, I found something!
Giuseppe Tucci: Nice one Short Round! Give me the...
Short Round: Uh no, it’s just a stone again.
Giuseppe Tucci: ...
Short Round:I found something!
Giuseppe Tucci: Brave and honnest Short Round! You saved us!
Short Round: Uh no, it’s just a stone after all.
Giuseppe Tucci: ...
Short Round: Doctor Tucci, I found something! Oh, it’s just...
Giuseppe Tucci: SHUT UP! We lost it and that’s all! Curse those traps! Now we have to crawl in the dark until we find an exit!
Both begin to walk in the dark, fumbling their way through stone passages.
Hours pass.
Giuseppe Tucci: Poor Short Round, I regret so much that I brought you into that. Ain’t you too hungry now?
Short Round: No Doctor Tucci. I just ate a biscuit.
Giuseppe Tucci: Brave and clever Short Round, you had saved a biscuit from last meal. You’re a good boy.
They continue to walk, crawl and fumble in the dark.
Giuseppe Tucci: We have been lost in the dark for hours now... Are you not too thursty Short Round?
Short Round: No Doctor Tucci. I just drank the last gulp from that canteen.
Giuseppe Tucci: Poor Short Round, you had kept your canteen with you after your last meal. You’re foresighted, that’s good.
Darkness, and more darkness again.
Giuseppe Tucci: This has no end... My back hurts like crazy and my hands are totally scratched. I wonder how long we have been crawling in that damn cave.
Short Round: Precisely three hours and fifty minutes.
Giuseppe Tucci: Brave Short Round. Like all rural natives you have an innate sense of time. Brave, poor Short Round.
Short Round: Actually not, I just looked at the watch with your flashlight.
Giuseppe Tucci: You did WHAT?
Short Round: Because I found your backpack in the dark, with all the food and canteens and flashlight and stuff. Just after I found the three stones.
Image of Giuseppe Tucci gesturing and swearing in Italian and making the “Mamma mia” gesture with his hands, in the dark
Several minutes later, walking with the flashlight...
Giuseppe Tucci: Here Short Round! Stairs! They must lead to an exit above us... And, wait! I see light from a crack in that wall, too!... Shhhh! Noises come from the other side!
They carefully come closer to the crack in the wall.
Giuseppe Tucci (low): It’s the frame of a little stone door...
(looking through the crack) There is a vast room on the other side, brightly lit... And... Mamma mia! Half-naked gesturing fanatics are preparing some sort of horrid mixture, God knows from the remains of what sacrifices!
Short Round: Eeeeek! That’s COOL! Let me see!
Brief struggle. The stone door suddenly swings open and both fall on the ground in the room.
Half-naked gesturing fanatic #1: Oh, you came to steal a sausage, didn’t you? Well you’re unlucky because Reting Rimpoche stole the last one five minutes ago.
Giuseppe Tucci: A... what?
Half-naked gesturing fanatic #2: Usually, ministers or guests of the Potala who come to the kitchen via the secret passage are trying to steal sausages. Anyway, we’ve got a stew of yak stomachs, do you want some?
Giuseppe Tucci: Raah, Short Round, back in the passage! Upstairs! Run for it!
Cook #1: Didn’t they like yak stomach?
Cook #2: Pshah, strangers...
A few instants later...
Giuseppe Tucci: That was really close this time... Fortunately I have fast reflexes.
(he looks around) I wonder were we are now?
Short Round: It seems that we are in the thickness of a wall... Here! There is a little, low passage that seems to lead downstairs...
Giuseppe Tucci: You’re small Short Round, go scout it!
Moments later...
Short Round: That was antic latrines.
Giuseppe Tucci: How are you so sure?
Short Round: Don’t ask. But there is an exit down a small pit in the distance. And there is also a crack in the wall that will interest you, too...
Giuseppe Tucci (crawling in the passage): Erk. That has better be worth it.
He looks through the crack. There is room on the other side of the wall, with cosy Tibetan furniture and a strange board on a table. Several dignitaries stand around two sitted persons.
Reting Rimpoche: So, gentlemen, this is the last product of the Tibetan military genius: the Hearts of Yak’s Hoof 1.06c Board Simulator!
Dalai Lama (reading a small book): Meh. The air stacking rules suck.
Reting Rimpoche: Anyway. We will use it to simulate the outcome of the war in China. As everyone knows that Chang-Kai-Chek is at least as brilliant as I am, I will play the Chinese, so that we can study their possible moves.
Tempa Jamyang (
low): Does that mean that Chang-Kai-Chek can not possibly be dumber than Reting Rimpoche?
Gyato Wangdu (
low): Shhh!
Reting Rimpoche: Now please play your turn, your holiness. Our generals will counsel you.
Dalai Lama: Hmm... Let’s say that I attack with my Tibetan divisions from inner China toward the East, and try to reach the sea.
Reting Rimpoche: Ah! Ah! I know this strategy! That attack toward Nankin is a bait! The logical move for me would be to try and block your attack, but obviously you would withdraw your token force and lauch a large pincers movement from the wings to encircle me. Well done, but I won’t call your bluff! I won’t send the bulk of China’s forces to their destruction in your trap.
Dalai Lama: Hmm. That’s unfair, you learnt the rules of the game before...
Giuseppe Tucci (
low): Porca miseria! Short Round! I don’t like to deal with politics but now the fate of the world lays between our hands! All the values that I stand for : order, short hairs, sounds of boots... If we don’t act quickly the Axis is doomed! We must escape and warn Chank-Kei-Chek of the trap before it’s too late!
Both rush toward the exit and begin the long, hard journey toward Nankin.
Hours later, in the Potala...
Reting Rimpoche: Arg ! But you’re not following any advise of your generals ? Why didn’t you withdraw your token force? Why didn’t you attempt the pincers movement from the wings?
Dalai Lama: Because my token force is the whole Tibetan Army. And because I don’t know what the word “pincers” means, anyways.
Pause.
Dalai Lama: Note that you lost again, by the way.
