Technological progress isn't steady. It was accelerating non-stop since the end of dark ages. I must admit I don't remember the exact modifier value, but five years of progress in 20th century (namely1940-19451935-1940: from steam to diesel, from armored cars to full-blown heavy tanks, from short-rangereconplanes to strategic bombers, etc etc etc) equal about 70 in 15th (for example, to develop plate armour from coat of plates, it took about a whole century; I can provide more examples if you wish).
Clearly you don't really understand much about history. The Dark Ages weren't really a thing like people imagine it, certainly not in terms of technological development. To the extent that they existed at all, the Dark Ages were a political and economic slump. And the political part essentially relies on you believing that Rome was super cool and damn it's a shame that it's gone.
Then, there's the problem where your examples are incredibly cherry picked. You don't get to pick 5 years of the most tumultuous war in human history and assume that it is representative of technological progress in the 20th century as a whole. If there's some tech tree we have to climb to take us from armored cars to heavy tanks, why didn't that happen in the 20's right after tanks were invented? If anything, there was a retreat from the concept of heavy tanks, for entirely non-technological reasons.
And yes, I would love to hear about all the examples you have saved up.
My first point is: It has happened before timeline X. It happened after timeline X. No reason it can't happen in the timeline X. EU is not about following history, it's about making it. So yeah, even if it didn't happen in the etalon timeline (which I'm doubtful of), there is no reason for it not to happen in yours.
My first point is: No, it didn't happen before/after the timeline; you mostly just made those examples, or made some gross simplification of what actually happened. Next we'll be hearing about how mighty German warrior bands totally conquered Rome, and therefore German culture countries should get free CBs on France, Spain, North Africa, and Italy.
My second point is: "It can be done in the real world" is all the reason you may ever need to implement something in any game that represents reality. You can threaten the government of the conquered country to either die or surrender unconditionally, therefore you should be able to do it. You can attack without warning, therefore you should be able to do it. Of course, the consequences are yours to handle, too, so you may choose to refrain from one action or the other, but it must be your choice entirely.
My point is thins should at least be semi-plausible. I'm totally OK with an option that allows you to issue ultimatums, with the caveat that every nearby nation should despise and team up against you for doing it. And you always could attack without warning. It's called every EU3 DoW ever.
In short, it appears you want a realistic, down to earth game, that's completely off the wall and swarming with magic robots.