few issues/questions

[whelan]

how do i assign heirs to my dynasty, my ruler has 4 sons but their heirs to his mothers dynasty instead, mine is much bigger and has more presitge. my char king of england and she is duchy of connaght but he queen of england too.

second, upgrades for the holdings, i can do my own demesnes but sometimes i can upgrade others in my kingdom even though im not controlling them directly and others i cant.

 

[Ograv]

If your heir is of the mother's dynasty and not yours, you've done a huge mistake: the marriage is matrillinear. This means the children are of the mother's dynasty. Basically the only way out of not losing the game would be to get rid of your sons and wife (assassination/divorce, for example), or changing the succession law to seniority or elective. You could also reload to a prior save, or edit the savegame itself to fix it.

As for upgrading other holdings, that's working as intended. You can upgrade your own holdings and those of your directly vassal barons, not the rest, I think.