EUII Worst Player Club

[Solmyr]

Repeatedly taking out loans and going bankrupt?

 

[unmerged(18239)]

I just played 1 province Ests in 1180 and wanted to attack Novgorod and get some provinces from them. For this purpose I took two loans at the same time. That years end I got an autoloan and the next year another. Succesively I got banckrupt every two or three years. :wacko:

And so, after 10 years I reached the 206 %.

And with all the troops I recieved i was not even able to capture a single province......

 

[unmerged(18239)]

Is that something for: Worst player of the month March?

 

[unmerged(25609)]

Reading the manual? hmmm ...
In a relatively short time, I've managed to:
-be repeatedly defeated trying to cross a river (what? they have an effect on combat?)
-remain ignorant of the significance of the little orange arrow (indicating that I have all three of my "good" leaders stacked together)
-have my cavalry horde humbled by tiny enemy forces (what? those little hilly things aren't just for aesthetics? Mountains?)
- forget that enemy nations can have leaders, too (hello, Mr Skanderbeg)
- get fixated on eliminating pirates (who seem to be at naval tech 675)
- DOW helpless-looking minors (who turn out to be allied with Austria, Poland, Hungary, Castile, and France)
- learn what war exhaustion means - the hard way
- join my allies in their wars - and honestly try to help them - spending a fortune and capturing half a dozen provinces from their biggest enemy - only to have them settle for a 2d indemnity
forget where I parked my fleet / explorer / conquistador - until I get that lovely message saying that attrition has forced ...
- leave myself nowhere to retreat - isn't it amazing when your 40-60k army evaporates (I once looked for them for 15 minutes - where did they go?)
- DOW minors (carefully noting who their allies are - but forgetting that I have a RM with the minor)
- win a war (without watching my finances) At the war's end, I was satisfied that I still had a bit of cash. It came as quite a surprise when the three loans came due.

want more ? I'll keep playing and let you know what new blunders I can come up with ...

 

[Grundius]

England is not Turkey

First off: Can I still join?

I haven't had any very embarrassing defeats (usually quit if things are starting to go really bad (really bad, I mind you, like, reduced to one province bad) but I do have had my share of embarrasment. I'm currently playing England. And the big question is: Why do I keep ignoring that tiny voice in the back of my head screaming: England is NOT Turkey :wacko: ! Allthough I still rule from Holland to Catalonia and from Bretagne to Luxembourg, I don't know how long that will last. Gee I like the War of the Roses Gee, I never had so many Stability dropping, Revolt rate raising events in my life ! And what a great commanders I have, getting whooped by rebels half their size!

Still nothing as worse as when I decided to unite the HRE under Austria in EU1: ouch time.

BTW: I never played a game on a more difficult setting than easy/normal....

 

[unmerged(21966)]

Once as Sweden, I was at war against Denmark, Muskovy and Poland. Because I hate loosing provinces I keep going on and on and on. About 10 years later I have no money, no troops and war exhaustion going up at an alarming rate. All I could do was surrender over 50% of my country. Later I noticed my morale was still at 50%. o
Is this enough to join?

 

[Tormodius]

Repeatedly taking out loans and going bankrupt?

Or if your AI neighbour does it, you will get a certain percentage of their inflation... I experienced it while playing Portugal, as Spain ruined our economy because of their gold thirsty war machine in America.

 

[Tormodius]

Repeatedly taking out loans and going bankrupt?

Or if your AI neighbour does it, you will get a certain percentage of their inflation... I experienced it while playing Portugal, as Spain ruined our economy because of their gold thirsty war machine in America.

 

[Tormodius]

OMG, how do I delete this?

 

[unmerged(25696)]

Or if your AI neighbour does it, you will get a certain percentage of their inflation... I experienced it while playing Portugal, as Spain ruined our economy because of their gold thirsty war machine in America.

I think we've understood, now, thanks to your triple posting. I had already done double, but never triple...

When the fleets didn't sail back to port when attrition was too high, I once forgot to recover one of my fleet, sent on troops ferrying far away off the shores of China. I chased the chinese fleet too far, put a long route to the port of one of my allies, anf forgot about it. War came at the end, my fleet arrived by the shores of my ally, but I didn't see it. I lost 120 warships and 60 transports. Do I qualify to apply ? :wacko:

 

[Tormodius]

Today I played Portugal 1492 and I lost all my tradepost to barbarians and all the explorers and 20 warships were lost at sea just like lawkeeper, due to high attrition, trying to circumnavigate the globe by all different angles. Now I am at war and the entire army is in brazil, got no fleet and no money to build it... Beat that!

 

[Adam B.]

I once got my goverment fallen as france because I was too buzy with a war with enourmously strong "palintate"

 

[unmerged(28850)]

Let me think. Yes, well once while playing a game as Austria I decided I would like to take over Germany at all costs. Therefor I start to invade countries, and take out loans to pay for armies. I made it pretty far into Germany before the plan fell apart. It seems that there are certain disadvatages to having an inflation rate of over 500 percent. Don't ask how I got it that high because I am not quite sure. In the end my army was struck down by that of Hanover and I had to give them alot of my German holdings for peace. Is that bad enough for you am I a new member? :rofl:

P.S. I would like to think that I have gotten better sience this game.

 

[unmerged(18239)]

Yesterday I was playing The Roman empire (of the west, you know the one from Rome) and wanted to take all of France and the Iberian peninsulair so I build some massive armies on my Piedmont border and invaded the grounds of the Celts and the Gauls. (2 wars)
(And so their allies (allemani, illyrians, Longobardi, Frisians, Batlics and Goths joined them)
To my surprise I was beating their ass as my legions marched trough and pilalged their territory.

And so a stupide consul (It wasn't me D)) decided it was time to take the Iberian peninsula also and declared war on the Phoenicians and the Iberians (another 2 wars) Their allies (magog, Carthage, put, Basques, Bretons, Askae and Egypt) joined in and there I was, totally alone against 17 strong enemies and when my major Legion in Liguria was destroyed by some stupid Carthagian general (whom led his elephants across the Alps !?!) i was totally riped apart.

I think it is not hard to imagine me being torn apart by all those vrutes, not a brick stood on the other as they departed again and from my dozen starting provinces I only had four left.

Ouch!, a little too overambitious.

 

[unmerged(18239)]

Once as Sweden, I was at war against Denmark, Muskovy and Poland. Because I hate loosing provinces I keep going on and on and on. About 10 years later I have no money, no troops and war exhaustion going up at an alarming rate. All I could do was surrender over 50% of my country. Later I noticed my morale was still at 50%. o
Is this enough to join?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

[unmerged(50267)]

Once i played as austria and got into a war against Helvetia, Savoy, Genoa and Milan and got my butt kicked resulting in the loss of Salzburg and Tirol. Plus, I once played as Russia in the 1795 scenario and fought against Poland. They Kicked My Butt. Is that enough to Join,

 

[unmerged(32886)]

Well, my first game was also the worst ever, so copy paste post from that thread to this one . I know, lazy...

This certainly brings back memories. First try was as Austria. Didn't bother reading the manual or what so ever, since I thought that EU2 wouldn't be all that different from EU1. So, Ottomans declared war and I went on a conquest rampage. Took me 15 years and a bankruptcy, but in the end I had conquered the whole Ottoman Empire.
Ok, now time to annex them... I searched and searched but couldn't annex them and revolts were popping up all over the place. What the **** was my first thought. So, looked it up in the manual and there it was. No forced annexations of whole countries with several provs.
Got frustrated and put the game aside, only to play it 1 month later.
What can I say... Children...

Lets see if anyone can top this .

 

[Eustonian]

I remember my game with Ak Koyunlu. Basically I was in war after war to get somesort of real-estate for a couple of decades. After I had secured a somewhat sizable piece of land, I discovered that my loans were quite high.
I of course thought I would pay it off, but then one of my neighbours(georgia I believe) declared war on me. Needless to say I went bankrupt about 10 times in that war until I crushed them.
I was then doing quite nice until about every neighbour and every neighbour's neighbour declared war on me when I had no morale, had an inflation of over 70 and climbing, no money and would go bankrupt about as often as possible.

Needless to say that was one war I didn't win.

 

[unmerged(51378)]

My first game as Sweden in Age of Mercantilism. I thought; "Well, I'm a great strategy-gameplayer so I can take on everyone". I first attacked Russia, Denmark and last Poland. I sent my mens into Russia, ignoring Winter. Then, when my army was defeated, I thought Artillery kicked ass and starting build Artillery as Hell! When I had about 360 of 'em I attacked the Russian main Army with about 40 000 soldiers. Well, you must know how it ended

 

[Dauntless]

Hehe, well, here goes

I was doing fairly well, and got to colonizing America and the Caribbean as England. I'd conquered Scotland and Ireland long ago. The only other nation in the America's were the Dutch. Spanish, Port's and French were nowhere to be found. Anyway, being as I am, I got an alliance with the Dutch, since I didnt have many troops to spare for the colonies, so i wanted to avoid conflict

The Dutch then, in all their wisdom declared war on France, so I thought "Hell, the Dutch will kick their asses" (seeing as the Dutch had very many troops in Holland at the time)

What happens next?

Holland is completely over-run by the French, who use the 'land-bridge' between Dover and Calais to attack and bring havoc to the south coast I had to surrender Kent, Wessex, Cornwall, Bristol and Wales

My Problem with the game...

MONEY!!! I have absolutely no skill in managing money, and so I can very rarely amass a large enough army, even on the easiest difficulty settings (Although this particular game was on Normal/Normal)