EU4 diplomacy is for children

[Howl]

I showed my 5 year old the EU4 game map, because he loves maps.

"Who are these pirates?"
"Those are not pirates. They have triangular hats, but they are Brandenburg's soldiers."
"Ok. . . Please, attack them."
"Brandenburg is my ally. We help each other."
"Oh. Ok, attack someone else together. Then attack them later."

So he's figured it out. That is how diplomacy is used.

Just felt like sharing.

 

[gia257]

"That's not a pirate, that's your dad."
I'd watch my back

 

[Dominion]

Advocating for genocide against your closest allies.

Ah, to be young again.

 

[Dakka]

Advocating for genocide against your closest allies.

Ah, to be young again.

Wow, I can’t believe you think a child is advocating genocide. Utterly disgusting.

Clearly he just wants to use them for his own devices, backstab, conquer, and enslave them.
You make me sick

 

[Howl]

Wow, I can’t believe you think a child is advocating genocide. Utterly disgusting.

Clearly he just wants to use them for his own devices, backstab, conquer, and enslave them.
You make me sick

I don't think he was advocating genocide either. When I asked why he wanted to attack them he said:
"Because they are there."
Sounds like Imperialism CB to me.

 

[Dakka]

I don't think he was advocating genocide either. When I asked why he wanted to attack them he said:
"Because they are there."
Sounds like Imperialism CB to me.

That sounds like an actual quote somewhere.
I can imagine Napoleon, Alexander, or Caesar saying "I don't conquer because I hate them, I conquer because they are there"

 

[Regaccio]

"War cannot be avoided - it can only be postponed to the benefit of others." - Niccolò, Age 5

 

[defy]

Try some CK2.

 

[Vityviktor]

Advocating for genocide against your closest allies.

Ah, to be young again.

Not genocide. "Culture conversion" .

 

[Ironside121]

Well I think it's safe to say that this is my favorite EU thread.

 

[Zohtun]

Smart kid. He's figured out more of EU4 than I have.

 

[henzington]

I always consider allies just nations I plan on attacking later

 

[DarkBlue]

Your son will make a great player one day

 

[frolix42]

That sounds like an actual quote somewhere.
I can imagine Napoleon, Alexander, or Caesar saying "I don't conquer because I hate them, I conquer because they are there"

In 1923 the NY Times asked famous Mountaineer George Mallory why he wanted to climb Mt. Everest. He said, "Because it's there.".

He died in 1924, possibly being the first person to summit Everest but not making it back down. The first person to summit Everest and survive was Sir Edmund Hillary in 1953.

 

[Junuxx]

The first person to summit Everest and survive was Sir Edmund Hillary in 1953.

And/or Tenzing Norgay...

 

[Howl]

Continuation:
He had requested me to attack China while he is sleeping and destroy all their buildings.
Again a display of complete understanding of diplomacy and even the mandate mechanics.
I attack Mong Yang to get in a war with Ming, so that I can attack Dai Viet, when that war is nicely wrapped up. Because Dai Viet's only ally is Spain. So now I can dismantle Spain and then have free reign in Europe, cause they are allied to everyone there.
Little did he know Ming's mandate was already at 0.

In the morning he was happy about the succesful quarrel (we don't call it war) and about the 6 castles I destroyed, but somewhat dissapointed that I did not destroy all buildings.
So far so proud of my son.

Smart kid. He's figured out more of EU4 than I have.

Your son will make a great player one day

But, alas. He was even more dissapointed that I did not destroy the Ming navy. I pointed out that all my 240 ships are transports and would surely sink to which he suggests that I should build a real navy with bigger ships. No way. Real ships? Why? What a waste of resources.

By the way, he wanted to destroy all of Ming's buildings because I had earlier said I did not want to destroy my own. And:"I don't know why, I just like destroying things."

And this I learned: The little carts travelling between trade nodes turn into boats when they reach the coast and if you hover over them the trade good and province they are from is displayed. Completely irrelevant, but 2k+ hours and I never noticed either...

 

[Dominion]

But, alas. He was even more dissapointed that I did not destroy the Ming navy. I pointed out that all my 240 ships are transports and would surely sink to which he suggests that I should build a real navy with bigger ships. No way. Real ships? Why? What a waste of resources.

Sifting chaff from wheat. He wants to kill his own men until only the strong remain.

By the way, he wanted to destroy all of Ming's buildings because I had earlier said I did not want to destroy my own. And:"I don't know why, I just like destroying things."

Ahh, another 0 fort player. A great addition to the board. In recent times it has become harder to find supporters for our cause.

 

[frolix42]

And/or Tenzing Norgay...

Decades after the fact, Tenzing Norgay said himself that Hillary was the first one on top. They kept it a secret for so long because it was really a group effort.

Reading about attempts to summit Everest, it could make an excellent strategy/management sim game. Trying to climb Everest in 1924 would be Legendary difficultly.

 

[Howl]

Sifting chaff from wheat. He wants to kill his own men until only the strong remain.

Good point. He must have figured out sailors are nearly are completely useless.

Ahh, another 0 fort player. A great addition to the board. In recent times it has become harder to find supporters for our cause.

0 forts is the way to go. There is an alternative?
However he seems to be supporting a radical new approach. Bare bones economy. No buildings allowed. None whatsoever.
I tore done some docks for him and he was mightily pleased. Despite there not being any animation of little construction (or deconstruction in this case) vehicles coming. A glaring oversight by Paradox?

 

[Ironside121]

He might enjoy the Rags and Riches achievement considering he wants to burn everything to the ground.