When our great dynasty was named, many were confused. They though, "but what if people confuse us with the food, rather than realizing we're named after a piece of furniture? Might they then not be tempted to sample the selection?".
But the great founder of the dynasty said "surely not, for they have all pledged not to attack us in the coming decades, and they are men of their word."
And throughout much the founder's life, this held true. Peace reigned, save for some skirmishes against lesser powers.
But all things come to an end. After 22 years of rule, an attack came. We were beset from the south and east by a combined force thrice the size of our own, yet we did not despair.
The founder could not handle these broken promises, and suffered a stroke a mere five wars after the hostilities began.
But we had prepared for war. We had made the very mountains themselves our fortress, so that any enemy would have to come at us at a place of our choosing, and any battle would be joined only at a time of our choosing. We had no ally but the mountains, but what an ally they were.
We fought the invaders again and again, outnumbered every time. Due to sheer numbers, each battle ended in our withdrawal, yet every time we recovered, and attacked once more.
Half a dozen times we tried to break their sieges, and half a dozen times we were forced to retreat.
The situation is still bleak. We are still outnumbered 3 to 2, and they have the potential to raise yet more.
Yet we can say this.
We. Made. Them. Bleed.
As we look at the battlefields of Tirol and Kärntern, they are littered with corpses. Many of them wear our blue livery, yet still more wear the red, black, and green of the Southerners.
None may truly know how many men have died these past forty months, yet estimates say that while 50 000 Canapé lives have been lost, near 90 000 Southerners are gone.
The Army of Copper is no more; it is brought down to a few thousand men.
The Free army is similarly reduced, now amounting to a mere nine thousand.
Only the Balkanite army still stands strong, yet it too has exausted its reserves on the mountains.
We've bled. So have they.
As we look down from the mountains we can truly say: we would have made the founder proud.