Josephus takes to the stage in New Lancaster City.
Greetings fellow citizens, brothers and sisters in solidarity and equality. Workers, businessmen, unemployed, disenfranchised, students, children, pensioners.
I've been feeling a bit down lately and one of my assitants, to cheer me up, brought me transcripts from the campaign speeches made by the members of CUE.
At first I thought it was a joke, I laughed so hard. Is this the new Warlus Party, I thought. No...this turned out to be for real.
Unbelievable.
Here's a party, that instead of taking us forward, seeks to take us back the most reactionary road possible.
Unification they cry. Was it not two terms ago that Eutopia officially recognized our two brother nations? Have we not progressed along the road of mutual cooperation, both economically and polticaly. Have we not just gained their trust?
Do they really think that Tilapia and St. Esprit, having just tasted sovreign independence are gonna go..."yeah, OK. We want to rejoin Eutopia."
Their platform is a waste of time, brothers and sisters. Everything that my government, and the previous government has done to ensure trust with our neighbours will be flushed down the toilet. Is this how we thank our brothers and sisters in Tilapia for their aid during the ECB bombing?
Have they even visited Tilapia and St. Esprit? I have. And I can ensure you that they are in no mood for reactionary Eutopian politicians like the CUE.
They make a big deal about my earlier speech about the four-hour work day. Obviously they didn't listen to me closely. I never said the four-hour work day is feasible. It's a pipe dream, I said. Obviously sarcasm is beyond the intelligence of the CUE.
LIsten carefully CUE. I'll repeat this just for you.
Our workers are smart enough to know that a four-hour work day is unfeasable and uncompetitive. Of course I'd like to promise you a four hour work day and full pay to each and everyone of you. But I am a pragmatist.
Look up pragmatist.
So apart from jingoism and abolishing sarcasm ---what else does the CUE have in store for us?
Oh yeah, the singing of national anthems and raising of Eutopian flags. Talk about reactionary. And they say I promise a Soviet style nation. I can assure you there was lots of that in the USSR. And Nazi Germany for that matter.
Citizens, there is nothing wrong, absolutly nothing wrong with singing the anthem and raising our flags.....but seriously, there are far more important things to worry about.
Obviously CUE has no ideas. They're bereft of anything interesting to say. Join the Coalition of the Willing. Yeah, good idea. Let's spend millions killing foreigners. And cut taxes too.
If you want a reactionary government whose solution to Eutopian problems is to have flags flying on public buildings, then by all means vote for CUE.
Thank you
Josephus