Ein Bergvolk, Ein Österreich, Ein Schuschnigg!

[EvilSanta]

And the plot thickens...

I really liked that update, it has the "best" plot this far. I'll say, all I need now is to take contact with a Hollywood director and a new hit movie (and a millionaire) is born!

likk9922: Glad to know you still liked it. I am not really trying to make single updates truly hilarious in the "joke after joke after joke" - style but try to concentrate more on the plot side and make it funny (atleast try to) And in the beginning it is all just setting up, introducing main characters, drawing basic plotlines...And giving a few reasons to laugh about while waiting for the plot to get going.

Charle_88: Sindelar truly was an awesome player, a shame such a player died so young.

rcduggan: Well, I hadn't updated for a while and I thought it would be a good way to give this community a present. Afterall, I won Knights of Honour from the Christmas Lottery thread so I owe it to this community.

GhostWriter: Meh, Sindelar's attitude is fine. He just needs a bit of fine tuning with his laughter, that's all.

 

[unmerged(9046)]

There are some pretty funny bits in here. I like your running gags.

 

[unmerged(10971)]

Ah, good old Miaja Menant... And it looks like that cat's going to need to hide a lot of bodies with this war on. And from the looks of it, we'll need to avenge von Jansa's death with Mola Vidal's!

 

[Charle_88]

Who is Sindelar?

Anyway, great update. I liked the cat picture. Those are always good.

 

[Dysken]

I bet that vortex drops both of them in a ditch on the New Jersey turnpike.

Watch in the head of John Malcovich, seriously. It's a good movie. And there's nudity.

 

[likk9922]

Many, many excellent jokes. :rofl: :rofl:

I am not really trying to make single updates truly hilarious in the "joke after joke after joke" - style but try to concentrate more on the plot side and make it funny (atleast try to) And in the beginning it is all just setting up, introducing main characters, drawing basic plotlines...

'Tis for the best, I understand.

 

[Jushu]

i cant find any words.... this is just so wicked o_o

 

[unmerged(57402)]

I'm so terribly terribly disturbed by the fairytale-fetish that I almost had to stop reading... Lucky this AAR is so damn funny then !

 

[unmerged(24320)]

EvilSanta: ...Zehner: What a creep.

yep ! !

EvilSanta: ...von Jansa: Ahh, Miaja Menant. I have been expecting you.

hmmm.

EvilSanta: ...Onwards, my soldiers! Revenge the death of Alfred von Jansa!

that is certainly a good motivator ! !

excellent update ! !

 

[EvilSanta]

*while Zehner and Kubena are organizing a counter-attack against Republican positions, Schuschnigg is having a private meeting with his trusty sidekick Berger-Waldenegg in Wien*

Schuschnigg: Egon, I think we should organize a completely extravagant rally to remind our people how happy they are living under our oppressive fascist regime instead of living morally corrupting free lives under weak democratic governance. Something that screams "Austria is strong, her leaders are powerful and the common folk benefits nothing but is still happy to serve due to sheer patriotism!" I want to see thousands of my loyal subjects cheer to me as I speak to them!

Berger-Waldenegg: I understand what you mean. If we are to thrive, we need to brainwash the common people with our nationalistic ramblings. Tell them how we were screwed over at Versailles! How First World War was caused by evil democratic imperialists!

Schuschnigg: Exactly! Wait, First World War?

Berger-Waldenegg: Just listen to us speak. Nationalism, the superiority of fascist ideology and Austrian culture, loathing of communism and democracy! Do you really think the peace is going to last? We already have 30.000 men in Spain fightning Communists for Christs sake! Geez, how can all leaders be so blind to it?

Schuschnigg: To what?

Berger-Waldenegg: Forget it. Just forget it.

Schuschnigg: Anyway, back to the extravagant rally that shows the greatness of fascism and our regime. I want, 100.000 soldiers marching...

Berger-Waldenegg: All our soldiers are in Spain or on their way there.

Schuschnigg: 4 wings of planes flying over us...

Berger-Waldenegg: None have been produced this far. Scientists are still on drawing board designing new bombers. As of now Austrian airforce equals zero.

Schuschnigg: Well, atleast Heimwehr is still around?

Berger-Waldenegg: You absorbed the last remains of Heimwehr to our Vaterländische Front in early February this year. Heimwehr and their organization ceased to be that moment.

Schuschnigg: What do we have then? We need to show our strenght with extravagant number of armed men marching in unison!

Berger-Waldenegg: Well, the Schuschnigg-jugend is still here and ready to march.

The Schuschnigg-jugend, the future of Austria

Schuschnigg: Fine, have 100.000 Schuschnigg-jugenders to march in the rally. Give them plastic rifles and have the theme of the Rally revolve around the future of Austria or something.

Berger-Waldenegg: Kurt, I thought I would never say this: that was an EXCELLENT idea! It has an enormous propaganda value!

von Hegedüs: Maybe we could promote the value of Austrian navy in protecting our sovereignity in the rally?

Schuschnigg: Paul!? What are you doing here? How did you get in? How long have you been here?

von Hegedüs: I have been here whole day. You just naturally ignore me what ever I do, what ever I say and where ever I am.

Berger-Waldenegg: Schoo, go away. You are not wanted here, this is a private meeting.

von Hegedüs: Fine, I didn't even want to hang around with you guys. I will be playing with my plastic ships in my bath tub if anybody misses me.

*smiles in an evil, psychotic way and runs off to the dark cave somewhere in the Austrian Alps*

Berger-Waldenegg: That fellow is weird. I wonder if he is up to something?

Schuschnigg: Nah, he is too stupid for that. He would need an evil villain to lead him and where are you going to find one in these dark days for evil villainy? Now, lets figure out my speech.

All of sudden, a tune starts to play and Schuschnigg spontaneosly begins singing

When I stand up, yeah I know I'm gonna hear
I'm gonna hear my folk loudly cheer to me

When I 'pen mouth, yeah I know their gonna wait
Their gonna wait what I will now them tell

When I say words, yeah I know I'm gonna tell
I'm gonna tell 'bout shame of treaty Versailles

When I keep on, yeah I know I'm gonna speak
I'm gonna speak how Slavs belong to our rule

Well I would tell five hundred lies
And I would tell five hundred more
Just to stay on power in my nation
'Cause I'm one big power whore

*Berger-Waldenegg joins*

When you'r shouting, yeah I know they don't care
They don't care what the subject is at hand

That's because, well shouting impresses
It impresses and spit is just a plus

When you speak (when I speak) well you should tell them
You should tell them how much they just rock

That's beca-use, flattering is simply great
It is great use of ancient rhetorics

Kurt: Well I would tell five hundred lies
Egon: And I would tell five hundred more
Kurt: Just to stay on power in my nation
Egon: 'Cause you'r one big power whore

Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Both: Randanrlandanrlandandaa
Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Both: Randanrlandanrlandandaa

*Schuschnigg continues*

When I have pause, yeah I know they'r gonna shout
They'r gonna shout how I will save this land

When I continue, yeah I know they'r gonna stop
They'r gonna stop because they greatly respect me

What they hear (what they hear), yeah I know they'r gonna think
They'r gonna think how all that is so true

When I end speech (when you end speech), yes I know they'r gonna hail
They'r gonna regard me as God's chosen leader
They regard me as God's chosen... lea-der

Kurt: Well I would tell five hundred lies
Egon: And I would tell five hundred more
Kurt: Just to stay on power in my nation
Egon: 'Cause you'r one big power whore

Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Both: Randanrlandanrlandandaa
Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Both: Randanrlandanrlandandaa

Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Both: Randanrlandanrlandandaa
Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Kurt: Dä däddää!
Egon: Dä däddää!
Both: Randanrlandanrlandandaa

Kurt: Well I would tell five hundred lies
Egon: And I would tell five hundred more
Kurt: Just to stay on power in my nation
Egon: 'Cause you'r one big power whoo-oo-oore

Schuschnigg: That was fun

Berger-Waldenegg: That was REALLY fun.

*far away in Spain, Zehner sighes deeply and drops a tear*

Schuschnigg: I wonder though, how that music always just starts playing out of nowhere. And how I can improvise such witty lines.

Berger-Waldenegg: It is the laws of cheesy musicals. When something great happens or a boy breaks girl's heart, music appears out of nowhere and the lyrics just flow out of your mouth.

 

[EvilSanta]

I have been listening to that darned song for last 3 days and well over 15 hours so I had to relyric it, that usually kills the song for me for few days. But it failed, I still love that song as ever and can't stop listening to it.

Well, atleast "500 Miles" to "500 Lies" was witty.

Those "dä däddää's" might not be written properly for English phonetics but everybody knows what there is supposed to be sung anyway.

Stroph1: Thanks. There's some modified running gags for you, having had a couple updates with none.

Judas Maccabeus: Ahh, just wait until WW2 hits the fan. The poor cat will be overworked and underpaid.

Charle_88: Sindelar-wiki

In short, "The Man of Paper" and "Mozart of football" was the leading component of Austria's Wunderteam in the 30's.

Dysken: Nudity?

It's a good enough of a reason to watch a movie. I will look into it.

likk9922: Glad you liked it, even though I thought that particular update was kind of poor on the quantity of jokes.

Jushu: If you think this is wicked, you have no idea what is coming up. There is going to be an epic plot of grandeour never seen before! (like any other Hollywood movie, atleast according to trailers )

DerKaiser: I'm glad you read this despite being disturbed of fairytale-fetish.

GhostWriter: If I was a soldier, "there's booze and whores in Barcelona" would have worked for me as a better motivator

 

[Charle_88]

I love your musical bits.

 

[unmerged(57402)]

I can't believe you wrote an update that was almost entirely a musical and didn't end it with the two guys commenting on homosexuality! Now that's hypocrisy !

And I'm starting to feel sorry for poor old Hegedüs- couldn't you at least build some canoes on the Danube or something?

Great stuff anyway!

 

[Woody Man]

DerKaiser is right, I knew something was missing!

 

[unmerged(24320)]

that was gay ! !

excellent update ! !

 

[likk9922]

that was gay ! !

This is someting that you don't expect from GhostWriter.

Excellent upate, too. Great song. Touching.

 

[Snake IV]

Santa Santa Santa. How're supposed to justify a big austria if you still let it be brown? It shall be white, white I tell you. You better fix that.


Other than that, fun AAR. It's hard to remember all the silly names, but it works.

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

This AAR is the result of too many rehearls of the Sound of Music... The Trapp family, what a doom for the western world...

 

[EvilSanta]

*Barcelona, Spain*

Republican officer: We surrender! We surrender!

Zehner: *walks to the officer*

Take me to your leader, redling.

Republican officer: I am sorry but we have seen no signs of marshal Miaja Menant for last few hours.

Zehner: Alfred has disappeared. Miaja Menant has disappeared.

Johan, do you think there is a connection between the two?

Kubena: Maybe we should interrogate the soldiers in case someone has a hint of the disappearance of either leader?

Zehner: Hmm, sounds like the best course of action.

Schwarzwald! Start disarming and imprisoning the remaining Republicans. Give them food and a shelter, we want them to stay alive, they might possess important information about von Jansa's location or condition.

Schwarzwald: Boobs! *walks to a pole*

Kubena: What was that all about?

Schwarzwald: This is supposed to be somewhat of a comedy AAR but you guys are all serious solving mysteries, killing Communists and finding your best friends. That is not funny, it is boring! One lame reference to a popular quote is far from enough.

Kubena: And saying "boobs" and walking to a pole is funny?

Schwarzwald: Works in American teen comedies.

Zehner: *grabs Schwarzwald from chest*

Never say that again! American teen comedies are a terrible blight upon mankind and should be exterminated from the face of the Earth! American teen comedies attract only the lowest form of life.

Schwarzwald: Who, the communists?

Zehner: No. Stupid people with awful sense of humour. *dramatic music plays*

Kubena: I have a feeling that this has very little to do with the plot nor comedy for that matter and the author just wants to rant the frustration inside him away. I apologize for this irrational rambling on behalf of the author and I THINK ROSIE O'DONNEL IS A RESPECTABLE PERSON!

*watches around confused*

Zehner: The author has powerful abilities, you should not frustrate him.

*meanwhile in a dark cave somewhere in the Austrian alps*

von Hegedüs: Wilhelm, I think the moment we have been waiting for is upon us. Schuschnigg is going to hold a speech next week. It will be the perfect moment to assassinate him in front of his people!

Gebauer: Excellent. I shall start forging the assassination plan immediatetly. Paul, we need some explosives so take care of that. Matthias, buy a large fishnet.

Sindelar: Why?

Gebauer: I don't know yet. But all plans made by evil villains must be extravagantly bizarre and complex. That's what separates us from your average thugs.

Sindelar: Besides the fact that your average thugs actually succeed at times?

Gebauer: ...

Shut up.

von Hegedüs: Hitler is not doing all bad.

Sindelar: But is he a genious?

Gebauer: I heard that he failed his first year of Realschule.

von Hegedüs: Got it. Got it. Timur Lenk.

Sindelar: Good call.

Gebauer: Now move! For the New Order! For the death of Kurt Schuschnigg!

Bwahahahahahhaa!

Sindelar: Hahha-hahha-haahaahaa!

von Hegedüs: Why do we keep him around again?

Gebauer: He is amusing.

*mean-meanwhile in Barcelona*

Schwarzwald: Sir, this soldier claims to have seen the demise of von Jansa and Miaja Menant.

Kubena: Great. Leave him to us and leave.

Zehner: So, tell us...

Republican soldier: Manuel.

Zehner: Tell us Manuel what happened. Where is von Jansa? Is he alive?

Manuel: Well, you know, von Jansa and Miaja Menant, like, I saw it, I was right there next to them, well von Jansa said like "I have been, you know, expecting you" and Miaja Menant, you know, answered which reminds me of the time I talked with my teacher, how funny woman she was. This one time but you wouldn't be interested of that. Well, then they like you know started running towards each other which reminds me off the time my cousin fell in love with my friend. Oooh, it was such a lovely romance, they were like meant for each other! And then, well, their swords clashed and that like created a vortex you know that like sucked the two in which reminds me of the time I saw "High School Musical" that like sucked. That is the last time I saw them which reminds me off the time I last saw my childhood's best friend.

Zehner: So a vortex sucked them in? Do you think there is any chance they might be alive?

Manuel: I don't like know which reminds me of the time I was in school and my funny teacher asked me a question about biology and I had nooo idea what the answer was. It was like so awkward!

Zehner: This is the worst update ever.

Kubena: I agree.

Zehner: Better than High School Musical and it's sequel combined times ten, though.

 

[EvilSanta]

That update failed. But now it's done with and the next one will hopefully compensate for that.

But like I said, that was better than High School Musical. I was once feeling very masochist and seeing High School Musical AND Mean Girls coming from tv in row, I knew I had to watch them. I knew from beforehand that High School Musical WOULD be absolutely horrendous but it still managed to surprise me with it's craptastic quality that made watching Mean Girls and Lindsay Lohan a nearly enjoyable experience.

I still see nightmares of that evening. Well over 3 hours of crappy teenage comedies. :wacko:


Charle_88: Well, I have experience of three AARs made of entirely such relyriced AARs, I ought to be some good at them.

And if you are interested our resident SnakeIV is starting an American Idolesque project where all forum members are allowed to write such musical pieces and a jury then judges your work. Take part if you want, it is going online soonish.

DerKaiser: Well, von Jansa is God-(and me) knows-where and Zehner is fightning in Spain, they weren't in a position to say their trademark lines. I did reference to it with deep sighing of Zehner.

Besides, The Proclaimers is no gay.

English Patriot: Well, von Jansa is God-(and me) knows-where and Zehner is fightning in Spain, they weren't in a position to say their trademark lines. I did reference to it with deep sighing of Zehner.

Besides, The Proclaimers is no gay.

GhostWriter: The Proclaimers is no gay.

likk9922: The Proclaimers is touching.

Snake IV: My current modding capabilites are not sufficient to change the colour of the nation. If and when Austria rises into a nation to be reckoned with, I might change the colour to white.

Kurt_Steiner: This is AAR is more a consequence of the demise of The Sound of AARabia