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The blue is Bulgaria, who also have Croatia and Serbia. Thanks for all the comments :D
 

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Drunk on Burgundy

Chapter 33: The World IS Enough, Thank You Very Much! (1287-1300)

1287 began with King Herman grabbing claims on the Kingdom’s of Bulgaria, Croatia and Serbia, and in March the bastard Lupold met a hermit, who was welcomed to the royal court and became one of Herman’s hermits. On May 26th war was declared on Bulgaria, and Burgundian troops proceeded to occupy Mesembria, Nikomedeia and Byzantion before the year was out. Elsewhere in 1287 Barbora became merciful in July, which is always useful for a daughter of a megalomaniac tyrannical emperor.

In January 1288 Alexandretta fell, and in February the provinces of Prusa and Thessalonike fell. March strolled into view, beginning with the capture of Tmutarakan, and in April the people of Provence felt the benefits of the technology of dismounted knights. Knights without horses, only a genius could have come up with that!!! A day after this miraculous discovery Usora fell, and on May 6th the bizarrely placed province of Albania was taken. On the 22nd Smyrna fell, and with this Herman forced the Bulgarians to surrender, thus becoming King of Bulgaria, Serbia and Croatia, as well as Duke of Tigris and Alania.

bg215.jpg


August saw Jaque begin a court education and in November a claim on the county of Prusa was grabbed, with the province being captured by February 1289. On April 30th Vaclav got depressed and on October 21st Barbora became forgiving. April of 1290 brought the news that Konstanze was pregnant once again, and on July 6th 1291 Lupold continued several hundred years of tradition by riding horses hard through the woods, which Herman forbid due to the lack of able horses in the realm. Nothing happened in 1292, but in April 1293 Lupold got ill after horses got their revenge by riding HIM hard through the woods. How do you like that, you bastard!?! However, in October a miracle worker cured Lupold.

1294 began with Lupold becoming a martial cleric, and on June 17th Jaque decided that he also liked to ride horses hard through the woods, but was once again forbidden to do so by Herman. In September 1295 Barbora became a fanatical nun and on November 6th Vaclav finished his education to become a scholarly theologian.

The first event of 1296 was Konstanze becoming pregnant, and on December 20th rigid leather was discovered in Provence. 1297 began with Jaque isolating himself, and so becoming suspicious, wise and selfish. In February Konstanze gave birth to a stillborn child and on October 10th King Herman got stressed after looking at a map of his Kingdom:

Herman: Bloody hell, that’s a LOT of land!

1298 was a boring and pointless year, but 1299 started like so many before with a war, this time with the Principality of Sinope. In February 1300 Jaque became a charismatic negotiator, astonishing for a young man with a stutter, and on March 21st Amisos was taken and Herman was made Duke of Sinope and count of Amisos. June saw a brief war begin with the county of Turnu, which was incorporated into Burgundy on September 29th, an action that allowed Herman to become Duke of Wallachia. As 1300 drew to a close there were only a few scattered provinces not in the hands of Burgundy, and it was generally agreed that these were not really worth conquering.

bg217.jpg

Charismatic despite the stutter.

With this, Herman declared himself King of the World, everyone applauded and the curtains fell down, leaving the cinema in a horrible state, loads of popcorn and drinks containers on the floor. Honestly, some people are so messy! As that weird pig on loony tunes used to say, “that’s all folks!”

bg216.jpg

Really wishes he was the Lion King. Being King of Leon just isn't the same.

Epilogue to follow. So it’s not really the end.
 
Last edited:

stnylan

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No - you've got a few bits of colour left to homogenise first!
 

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That will be in the epilogue. My stated goal was to get all the Kingdom titles, which I've done.
 

angryclown

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Bravo!
 

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Fiftypence said:
That will be in the epilogue. My stated goal was to get all the Kingdom titles, which I've done.

Nitpick! ;)
 

Fiftypence

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Drunk on Burgundy

Chapter 34: Epilogue (1300-1303)

On December 27th 1300 the Principality of Thrace accepted an offer of vassalisation, and on November 5th 1301 Lupold was made Bishop of Bourbon. In September 1302 Herman finally looked good enough, which led to Nikomedeia, Tmutarakan, Usora, Armenia, Veglia, Tirgoviste, Kuma and Aleppo all pledged allegiance, which just left the two provinces of Sinope and Kurdistan, upon which Herman declared war in October. January saw the fall of Kurdistan, and in April Sinope was taken, thus ensuring Burgundian hegemony over every single province in the world other than Papal Rome. The end. And I mean it this time.

bg218.jpg


Yes, I know an ending should be dramatic, with maybe a chase, a tragic death or an epic battle but unfortunately CK does not cater for this. I would like to thank all those who have taken the time to read and comment in what turned out to be a world conquest, although I certainly did not intend this to be a WC AAR, just a fun tale about a mediaeval family in a backdrop of war, intrigue and diplomacy. Also, It's my first ever world conquest in any paradox game, so I am quite proud. Am I beaming right now!


Oh crap, I forgot about Iceland!


THE END
 

coz1

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Well technically, it's not WC because you said you did not have Papal Rome (well, and Iceland too I guess). Once you took that, I imagine your vassals would begin to denounce, denounce, denounce.

Still, it was mighty impressive. I imagine the end game was a bit less exciting that the start. But just look at all those King titles. Wow.

Congrats on the finish of a perfectly groanworthy success of an AAR! A very fun read.
 

Storey

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You don't have Iceland? :eek: Sorry but you failed big time. Pack it up and go home. Boy you couldn't even take Iceland! Man that's the first place I'd have taken. Poor strategy if you ask me. What you didn't ask oh well never mind then. :D

Had fun following this pun laden tale.

Joe
 

Farquharson

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Bravo! Perhaps if Herman sent some of his Hermits to the volcanic wastelands of Iceland they could storm the place by quiet meditation... or something... :D Glad to be in on this historic tale - thanks for all the laughs!
 

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Thanks everybody! :D

For my next CK AAR I was thinking of doing a sequel to "While We Still Stand", subtitled Nubia Reloaded. Or maybe a drinking AAR, which would be called "While I Can Still Stand", or something. Not for a few weeks, though.
 

Dead William

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I am all in favour of the While we can still stand. It would have to be a Scotland or Ireland AAR though :D

Actually in my very first game of CK the Kingdom of the Fatimids was inherited by the Nubians....

Thanks for the great read, Penny Cinquanta!
 

stnylan

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Good to see it complete. Just in time to miss the Black Death ;)
 

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KaiserChicken said:
I know it's late, but excellent AAR.

Wow, I wasn't expecting to see this on the first page again! :eek:

Thanks for reading and commenting on it. :)