• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Hax

Arnold
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Hi i will do my first AAR now.
I will play as Germany.

Difficulty: Hard
Aggresion: Normal
Scenario: The Road to War 1936 - 1947
I will maybe use the time patch. Only if I have small country in the end.
I am young and maybe are not so good in english but i will try my best.
I will try to complete this AAR.
And please do some comments.



1 Januari 1936 Berlin

In the Reichstag Hitler is sitting in his marmor chair from Italy.

- This Italyan guys can make nice things in stone.
- Yes mein Furhrer but you have almost taken all the money for the supplies consumation says Himmler.
- Blahh we will survive.
- Now call on everbody who I said.
- Yes mein Fuhrer.
- Excellent

Göring, Reader, von Leeb, Himmler, Rommel, Guderian, Model and List goes into the Fuhrer room.

- Heil mein Fuhrer says all.
- Yeah heil to me.
- Why do you called on us says Rommel.
- Muhahah world domination.
- What??
- I want a German world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Göring whispers to Himmler:

- I think he is a crazy guy.
- Yeah me too and he is from Austria.
- Yeah why could they not found a german guy like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Ehh he is from Austria too.
- Damn it i haved buyd all his movies because i thought he was from Germany.

- Be quiet guys says Hitler and are looking on Göring.
- What, it was Himmler who started.
- So you want to blaim the thing on me you bastard.
- Don't do so more or i will call Gestapo on you guys.
- Yes mein Fuhrer.

Himmler box his hand in Görings as.
When he tries to pull the hand back the hand suddenly sucks into Görings as.

- What the ----.
- Say sorry or your hand will be covered with shit.
- Ok ok sorry plzz I don't want shit.

The hand slowly goes back from the as.


- I want world domination and beacuse that I most change some things here.
You Göring will still be the Air Minister.
You Reader will still be the Navy Minister.
But you (he points at von Leeb) will be the Army Minister.
And you Himmler will be the Foreign Minister.

That was the Minister changing.
Now to the Armies:

Rommel, Guderian and Model will command on the armored divisions.
Göring will command over the air planes.
von Leeb and List will command on the infantry divisions.

Yes mein Fuhrer says everbody and smiles.
Suddently it smells shit in the room.

- Oh my god what it smells.
All go out now i must go and eat something says Hitler.

Himmler looks on Göring who is trying to hide his eyes for everybody but Himmler see that he are crying.
 
Last edited:

Hax

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Austria

Januari 21 1936 Berlin

Hitler is sitting in his marblechair.

Himmler: Shall i call on the group???
Hitler: Yeah do that Himmler.

Into the room comes the generals.

List: What do you want mein Fuhrer?
Hitler: List we shall expand our empire!
List: When??
Hitler: 1 Februar, the man who guess right country will get my car. I don't like it, i want a american Hummerlimousine.
Göring: Hitler, Hitler take me i now.
Hitler: Ahh always you yes say what country.
Göring: Denmark, hahaha losers.
Hitler: No it is not Denmark, what do you think Reader???
Reader: Norway?
Hitler: No (takes a deph breath). What do you think von Leeb?
von Leeb: Poland?
Hitler: You now that Poland is not right. Himmler say you.
Himmler: Schweiz???
Hitler: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,(calm) what do you think Rommel??
Rommel: France???
Hitler: What do you think Guderian??
Guderian: Can it be Austria??
Hitler: Bingo

Hitler opens a draw in his table.He takes out a key.
Guderian: Yippie I am the winner.
Hitler: Here you got your new car.
Guderian: Thanks mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Oh i forgotten that, it is a dead body in the car.

Suddently the eyes of Hitler are being evil.
Hitler: Now for Austria.

This is a map there we see where our forces are:



Hitler: How many divisions have we now?
Himmler: 36 infantry divisions and 3 armored divisions, total 39 divisions
Hitler: How is german Luftwaffa?
Göring: 3 fighters, 7 tactictalbomber, 1 divebomber and 2 transportplanes, total 13 planes ready for the reich.
Hitler: Good, but how are the Kriegsmarine??
Reader: Ehum bad 15 military ships, 6 submarines and 6 transportsship. I could do better if i got some more ships and teknology.:(
Hitler: We willl see. Maybe in the future.:D
But now Austria.





Hitler: List you will be commanding Group South.
Objectiv:

From Konstanz you will march to Bregenz.
From Bregenz you will march to Innsbruck.
From Insbruck you will march to Klagenfurt.
From Klagenfurt you will march to Graz.
From Graz you will march to Wien.


von Leeb you will be commanding Group Ketchup.
Objectiv:

From Munchen you will march to Salzburg.
From Slazburg you will march to Wien.


Rommel you will be commanding Group Snow.

From Nurnberg your tanks most go to Linz.
From Linz your tanks most go to Horn.
From Horn your tanks most go to Wien.

This Operation will be called White Ketchup.
Hitler: Himmler declare war 1 februari 00:00.
Himmler: Yes mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Göring your planes will be backuping all troops from Munchen.
Göring: Yes mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Excellent go now out everbody.
 

Hax

Arnold
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One time big, now conquered!

27 March 1936 Berlin

Hitler: How are my boys doing it in Austria.
Himmler: Pretty well but we have hard resitence meeted.
Hitler: Excellent my german world campign is going to be great.
Himmler: Yes mein Fuhrer but i fear that the british will help them.

Hitler opens a draw in his table, he takes out a book.

Himmler: World domination???
Hitler: Yeah i have written it by myself.
Rule Numer 1 for World Domination:
Take always risks or you will never get a, german world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now give me the Operation White Ketchup military map.
Himler: Here you go mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Thanks





Hitler: This is looking good.
Himmler: Yeah but in the future you shall fight with speed.
Hitler: How do you mean??
Himmler: That you do more tank divisions.
Hitler: Yeah great idee and then that the infantry sorrunding.
Himmler: Yeah that i mean.
Hitler: You are a good "right hand".
Himmler: Hehe thanks mein Fuhrer
Hitler: After that you have annexed Austria say to my boys that we will have meeting here again 15 may.
Himmler: Yes mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: You can go now.
Himmler: Thanks

Himmler goes out from the room.
Hitler spins in his chair and looks out from the window.
It is raining.

Hitler: Muhhahahahahahahahahahahahah
 
Last edited:

unmerged(24320)

Field Marshal
Jan 5, 2004
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Hax: 27 March 1936 Berlin .. Hitler: How are my boys doing it in Austria.

first off, thank you for an HOI 1 AAR ! ! :cool:

second, why did you DOW (and, will annex) Austria ? ? :eek:

IIRC, this action will cost you your cores in Austria as well as inheriting Austria (which gives you all their military units AND the contents of their build queue AND their Manpower as well as resources.)

please note: when i played my first game of HOI (1), i did not realize when the Anschluss (sp?) would fire [ :eek:o ], so in February 1936 i started my attempts to Anschluss Austria. i was successful either late March or Early April...
 

unmerged(118324)

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Oct 10, 2008
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No troops but ships. But since Austria doesn't have a navy you won't get any of their soldiers.

*And ships are captured when annexed sometimes, I don't know how or why. In one game I annexed Germany and captured the enire Kreigsmarine and as a game as Nationalist Spain I annexed the Republicans and got their entire navy. In other games I managed to achieve nothing.

-Good Luck!
 

Hax

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German world!

15 may 1936 Berlin


Hitler: Good morning Himmler
Himmler: Good morning mein Fuhrer
Hitler: Have called my boys to come home???
Himmler: Yeah they will soon come.
Hitler: Untill we waits i have some questions for you.
Himmler: Ok i will answer so good as i can.
Hitler: Have annexed Austria???
Himmler: No, the Austrian state have fleed to the Alps. They are hiding somewhere.
Hitler: Why can't you annex them??
Himmler: Yeah i could but i think that we shall wait to 20 may.
Hitler: Why?
Himmler: Ehh, This is funny but i don't now where the annex paper is here in Reichstag.
Hitler: Ohh why did you not sad that earlier??
Himmler: I now that you don't like mistakes.
Hitler: Hehe here you go.

Hitler goes to the big draw in the room. He opens it and takes out a paper.

Hitler: Only ask when a country is rady for annexing.
Himmler: Thanks
Hitler: I will send this paper to the remaining Austrian govorment.
Hitler: Yeah do that.
Himmler: Thanks mein Fuhrer.

Suddently it smells shit in the room.

Himmler: I must go now.

Just when he open the door List, von Leeb and Rommel goes into the room.
Himmler goes out and close the door.

von Leeb: Oh daim what it smells in here.
Hitler: The electricy man came here today and he was in the bathroom 1 hour.
List: My mum always says that soap is good for he stomach.
Hitler: Ok it is fine with that bullshit. Now Austria, Muhahahahahha.
You guys did a great time.
All three: Thanks mein Fuhrer.
Rommel: I want a higher rank mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Hehe you are funny. Only for you beaten up the easy Austrian people who i not come from.
Rommel: What?
Hitler: Ehh nothing but you must deafet a harder enemy to get the last promotion.
Rommel: But the Austrian army was harder then i thought. Much harder!
Hitler: Shut up!
Rommel: (Whispers) Yes mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: I only wants to say thanks and then you can go!

The three man goes out from the room.
Hitler spins a half tourn and looks out from the window.
It is raining.

Hitler: Muhahahahhaah

He goes out to the balcon.

Young boy1: Look our Fuhrer is there.
Young boy2: Hitler, Hitler !!

A big public is looking on Hitler

Hitler: German people you have suffered much!
I will change this!
I will make a german world!

Public: Go Hitler Go Hitler Go Hitler.

Hitler: A german world domination!!!!!!!

He goes into the room.
He can hear the public saying his name and Germany.
 

Hax

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Expand the borders !

20 may 1936 Berlin


All the generals are standing in the Fuhrer room.
The little dictator is sitting in his marble chair who can spin.

Everbody: Guten Tag mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Yeah god day. Now to buisness.
Reader: I want more ships!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hitler: Shut up. GOOOOOOOOO out.
Reader: Yes mein Fuhrer. (whispers) Idiot.
Hitler: Did you say not??
Reader: No i will go now.

He opens the door without to close it.

Hitler: Rommel please close the door.

Rommel goes to the door and close it.
Hitler: Thanks
But now i want world domination.

List: What country shall we attack??
Hitler: I don't now. Himmler give a report how the world is right now.
Himmler: Ok. Italy will soon conquer Ethopia.
Hitler: Good news that the Facist is growing.
Himmler: And we have annexed Austria.
Hitler: Good Good. But what country could we now attack without the allies to declare war.
Himmler: Hmm Let me see now.

Himmler have some paper under his hand. He takes upp one and reads.
Himmler: Hmm oh yeah noo noo Yeah this.
Hitler: WHta country plllllzzzzzzzzzz say what country i want a german world!!!!!!

Göring starting to laugh.

Guderian: Shut up Göring.
Göring: I will not take orders from you panzar guy.
Guderian: Do you want a fight fat man.
Hitler: Take it easy guys or i will call on Gestapo.

Guderian gives a psycih attack from the eyes.

Göring: Ahhhh my eyes. I must go now mein Fuhrer.

Suddently it smells shit in the room.

Guderian: I think Göring have some stomach problem. You could send him to doctor mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Yeah i will but now say Himmler what country could we attack.
Himmler: I think Litauia or Hungary. But we must fast or they may join a alliance.
Hitler: Ok but your mission now is to influence Hungary one time and then declare war on them 25 may.
Himmler: Ok mein Fuhrer can i go now?
Hitler: Yes you can go.

He opens the door and goes out and close the door.

Model: So Hungary is the next country to the german "world domination".
Hitler: (nice) Hihi yes. (evil) A german world.
Rommel: I need one tank division.
Hitler: Only one can i give you so ok.
Rommel: Thanks.
Guderian: I want too to command a tank division.
Model: Me too.
Rommel: Hehe but i am better then you guys so when i got 9 division then will somebody of you get the rest.
Hitler: We will see but first i want to see each personnelly in the fighting so i will give you command on the tank divisions.
Model: Me?
Hitler: No Guderian then will you get the tank division.
Rommel: What will i do???
Hitler: Hehe go on vacation. In the Alps or Italy heheh.
Rommel: Ok.
Hitler: You can go now.
Rommel: Ok mein Fuhrer.

He goes out from the room and close the door.

Now for Operation WW1 Loser.

List: Nice name :/
Hitler: Hihi i now.
But, Model you can go now.
Model: Ok mein Fuhrer. But i am better then the fox and Guderian.
Guderian: No you are better then me.
Model: Ehh yes idiot.

Guderian attacks with a pshicih eye attack.

Model: Hehe i only joked you are better than me.

He goes outside from the room and close the door.

Hitler: Guderian, von Leeb and List you guys will command the attack force.
von Leeb: Ok that is good i think that we must have 5 new divisions soon so please make 5 division for the Reich.
Hitler: Ok i thougt on that too.
I will soon get the Operation military map.
Come tommarow here and you guys will get your orders.
All three: Ok mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: You can go now.

Hitler: Muhahahahahah
 

Hax

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WW1 Loser

21 may 1936 Berlin

List, von Leeb, Guderian and Göring is sitting the the Fuhrer room.

Hitler: Ok you get your orders now.
All three will be from the beginning in Wien.
Then will all start the attack on Hungary on the provins Szombathely.
Guderian, your troops will attack Pecs.
von Leeb and List, your tropps will attack Veszprem.
After taking the city can your tropps resupply in 5 hours.
Then can you List start the attack on Budapest.
von Leeb can you will stay 3 hour back from Leeb.
Guderian, when they have taken Veszprem you will start the attack on Szeged.
After that you have taken the city, rush fast to Debrecen.
Then go and aid our forces in Budapest.

Guderian: Ok mein Fuhrer is that mein orders?
Hitler: Yes mein Panzar Guy hehe.
Guderian: HIHI:)
Göring: What will i do?
Hitler: Your planes will aid from Wien our forces in Hungary.
Göring: Ok mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Let's now do the reichs border little bigger.
All four: Yes mein Fuhrer!
Hitler: Do me proud and conquer Hungary.
Göring: What is this Operation called??
Hitler: WW1 Loser
You can go now.

All four goes out from the room.

Hitler: A Austrian World Muahhahahahah
 

Dr Rare

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Mar 7, 2005
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Warmonger!!!First Austria & now Hungry when/where will this offensive onslaught end!!!

Dr
 

unmerged(118324)

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Oct 10, 2008
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Destroying everyone it looks like. I guess Guderian is now a favorite of Hitler already. I personally like von Bock and Hausser and von Schepyhardt or however its spelled, its just a sweet name.
 

Hax

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3 june 1936

In the military room in the Reichstag it is full with reports about the invasion on Hungary.

Himmler: Mein Fuhrer the progress in Hungary is going good.
Hitler: Oh yeah.
Himmler: Do you want to see the military map??
Hitler: Why not?
Himmler: Here you go.





Himmler: Our boys is good.
Hitler: You have right.
Himmler: Shall i annex them directly when our boys have taken all of the country.
Hitler: No, first wait 5 days after taking all of the country and then you can annex them.
Himmler: I have one question mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Yeah say it.
Himmler: Ehh shall we puppet some country?
Hitler: Never!!!!!!!! A german world!!!!!!!!!1
Himmler: Ok sorry sorry please don't hurt me.
Hitler: Never say the word "puppet".
Himmler: Ok mein Fuhrer.
 

Hax

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24 July 1936


The generals is sitting and waiting in the Fuhrer room.
Hitler is eating his Brauswitch.

Hitler: I am finish now. Mmm German stuff is best.
Himmler give me a world report.
Himmler: We have annexed Hungary.
Hitler: Good but say what is happening in the world.
Himmler: Our friend Italy have soon annexed Ethopia, they have launched a offensive against Addis Abeba.
Hitler: Good news, something more?
Himmler: Oh i forgot the biggest news.
Hitler: And what is that?
Himmler: A new coutry fasict country is made in Spain, Nationalist Spain it is called and Franco is the leader. They are in war with the old Republican Spain, who is a democracy.
Britain have send tropps and resorces to Republican Spain.
I think we should send some soldiers and resorces to Nationalist Spain.
Hitler: Yeah do that to our friends in Spain. But remember we shall conquer the world!
Was it all?
Himmler: Yeah
Hitler: Lets talk about conquering the world now.
What country is next to the german world?
Himmler: This will be hard but i think that we could attack Poland.
Hitler: Poland, hmmm( 1 minute )mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Yes Poland is next.
Himmler: Ok Poland is next but we must wait little.
We are building a 5 division army in Elbing.
Hitler: How long until we attack Poland?
Himmler: 2,5 months i think.
Hitler: That is to much but a german world can't be made so fast.
Himmler: Is that a yes?
Hitler: Yes, we will wait 2,5 month than we meets here again for military orders.
Himmler: Ok

All the Generals goes up from the chairs and starts to sing:
A German world, A German world is the best world that is ever made.
A German car, A German car is the bestcar that is ever made.

Hitler: Shut the Brauswitch up.
Go out or i will call on Gestapo.

The Generals is fleeing, Hitler opens his draw and take out a pistol.
The Genrals runs out and suddently a man is comming in to the room with some papers.
PANG!!!
Hitler: Oh my god what have i done.
I killed a man!!!!!!!
A man!
I will go to the hell.
Where the f*** is a medic.
Medic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Hax

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21 October 1936


The Generals is sitting in the Fuhrer room.
It is werry cold inside. Outside it is snowing.

Hitler: Muahhaha i only thought on this day.
Himmler: Do you want a world report?
Hitler: Give it to me.
Himmler: Italy has annexed Ethopia.
Hitler: Good but i think that the Italiens is a easy country to take.
Himmler: Sure my Fuhrer, Nationalist Spain have controll of the northen part of Spain.
Hitler: Do you have a map to show me?
Himmler: Oh mein Fuhrer, yes i have.




Hitler: It is looking good, they have captured Madrid from the democracy. Yes!
Himmler: Do you want a report about the new divisions?
Hitler: Yeah give it to me , i am so tired.
Himmler: (he points at a guard who is in the room) Make a Brauswitch to the Fuhrer.
Guard: Yes for mein Fuhrer!

The Guard is going outside from the door.

Himmler: The four new divisions is staionerd in Elbing.
And the new tank division is stationerd with the other tank divisions in.
Hitler: Do you have a military map?
Himmler: Here



Hitler: Good, now for the orders.
You List will command the Oppeln 5 divisions.
You von Leeb will command the Stettin 5 divisions.
And you Model will command our tank divisions in Landsberg.

Himmler: Who will command all other divisions.
Hitler: Find some good generals who can command our other tropps.
Himmler: Yes mein Fuhrer.

Under the time the gerenals was talking, Hitler made a military map of Operation Badland.

Himmler: What is Operation Badland?
Hitler: The name on the operation who will conquer Poland.
Himmler: Ahha.
Hitler: Where is Göring?
Göring: Here am i.
Hitler: Your planes will aid our forces in Poland.
Göring: Where will my planes be stationerd?
Hitler: In Landsberg.
Göring: Alright mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Here is the military map of Operation Badland.



Hitler: You guys now what to do.
Himmler: When shall i declare war on Poland?
Hitler: 31 October
Himmler: Yes mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: You guys can go now.

When the Generals is gone Hitler starts to laugh.

Hitler: Muhahahah, Hihi, Muahahah, Hihi
 

Dr Rare

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Nice update of your rampage in central Europe :D
 

Hax

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16 November 1936


The Reichstag is full with reports from the Poland assult.
In the Fuhrer room Himmler and Hitler sitting alone.

Hitler: Himmler, muhaha you now that we will crush the polish people.
Himmler: Yeah, (angry) muhahahha.
Hitler: Take it easy!
Himmler: Oh, sorry do yo want something to eat?
Hitler: A Brauswitch and Munchen beer.
Himmler: Yes mein Fuhrer.

Himmler see a guy outside the Fuhrer room.

Himmler: You, Hallo!
Boy: What do you want Himmlero.
Himmler: Give the Fuhrer a Brauswitch and a Munchen beer.
Boy: Everthing i will do for the Fuhrer.
Himmler: Now!

Hitler: Himmler, close the door!
Himmerl: Yes mein Fuhrer.
Hitler: Could you give me report about the invasion of Poland?

Himmler opens his briefcase and takes out some papers.
He gives some papers to the Fuhrer.

Hitler: Uhh, gaynews?

He takes it up and show Himmler.

Himmler: Uhh, that is not my.
Hitler: Sure!
Himmler: Give it to me!

Hitler throw it in the fireplace.

Himmler: Noooo!!!!
Hitler: Shut up! Give me the report!
Himmler: Here you are (starts to crying).
Hitler: Go and get my sausage.
Himmler: (sad)Mummi, yes mein Fuhrer. Snyft!

He opens the door and close it.

Hitler: Let's me see now.

He opens the briefcase and see paper with red text ( Poland ).

Hitler: Jackpot!

He takes the paper and look.
Some loses but much territory get.
He takes up the militart map.

Hitler: Hmm, Molotov-Rippentrop pact?




Hitler: What the hell!!
Half Poland to Soviet!
I will kill you,Himmler!

The door opens and Himmler goes inside with the sausage and beer.

Himmler: Here is the sausage, but the beer is empty so get some italian wine.
Hitler: Give it to me!
Himmler: Take it easy. You must be very hungry. Hehe.

Hitler opens his draw and takes out a gun.:guns:

Himmler: Take it easy, what have i done??
I can go and buy you a Munchen beer if you are so desperat.

Hitler: You will die!

Himmler starts to run.
Hitler shots but miss.

Hitler: You will pay for this, your idiot!

Hitler opens his draw and puts the gun and takes some tabletts for headaick.

Hitler: Now we will see what is happening in Poland.

He takes out a military map.



Hitler: Hm, 5 November. Old

He takes another map.



Hitler: Damn it, 11 November. Nice job Model! ( He points at the map ).

He takes another map.

Hitler: November 16. List do something!
von Leeb good job Danzig is our!

Hitler: Where is the Germany map?
Oh here it is.



Hitler: God job boys keep on doing it.

Hitler looks up.
Hitler: Oh I forgotten that Himmler is gone.

At same time, Himmler is sitting in a toilet in the Reichstag.
He looks on the rest of the gaynews.

Himmler: My presicius!
 
Last edited:

Dr Rare

General
Mar 7, 2005
1.725
0
www.stonyroad.de
My God can nothing save Europe from your destruction!:rofl:

I wonder if the allies will be forced into an early war?

Nice update very funny

Dr
 

unmerged(64529)

Captain
Jan 15, 2007
470
0
gamingcentral.boardzero.com
Wow, you are an evil genius. :eek: