(OOC I just got back my power after losing it for the last 5 days, that’s why I couldn’t post recently, damn storm… lots of innuendos here, not sure how some will take it, after the last 5 days of waking up and going to my house and see a tree in my living room, plus arquing with my girlfriend… well its just been one of those weeks... I live in New Jersey... no not Hoboken... might as well be)
St. Peter: In your own words Pietro, please tell me about your reign as Doge.
Pietro: Well it all started on December 30, 1539. I wanted Ducats, and in order to get them, I believed the New World was the place to go, so I sent Gritti’s squadron to Moron where we were building up our troops. However just before they arrived our allies the Spanish declared war on my first target, the Mayans. No they didn’t send troops there, but nonetheless, I wanted to get the spoils of victory from them.
I lead our armies at the beginning of the year to become better at sieges, and we lost stability due to some Army generals disagreement with me.
On April 1st, 1540… Croatia dares to revolt our rule, 7,000 rebels rise against me, I send our Venetian home army to personally subdue them, with my cousin, who is quite ruthless in his ways. I send 10,000 soldiers with my cousin, and rebuild a new Venetian home force of 7,000 soldiers just in case.
On the 13th of April, our colony in Bermuda is expanded as well.
In May of the same year I establish a trading post at Maracaibo due to lack of funds.
On the 15th of May, the Istria Regiment my dear cousin controls, finally starts to subdue the Croatians
And on June 4th, my dear cousin proclaims victory over the heretics.
St. Peter: I see you don’t mention much of any failures.
Pietro: Well I can’t control failure, I’m only responsible for success, failure is due to subordinates acting like the French, success is achieved when we don’t act like French swine.
On July 11th, Gritti’s expedition is off the coast of the Mayan Capital, we declare war on them, with slightly under 6,000 infantry.
St. Peter: What does this do for your nation? For the Mayans?
Pietro: Patience, the Venetian Pope says, anything that makes Venice stronger you’d be happy with, you wouldn’t disagree with my Pope would you?
St. Peter: Those people don’t deserve…
Pietro: Everyone either has to pay us off or submit and become Venetian Catholics, or suffer the consequences…. Understood?
St. Peter: Down boy… I can see why your wife referred to you as a Pit Bull.
Pietro: She said I’m hung like a horse…
St. Peter: ::mumbles hung like a Shetland pony::
Pietro: Anyways at least I was loved by the royalty, the women loved me, they said I was the best…
St. Peter: Smelling… Venetians bathe… French don’t…
Pietro: ::raises an eyebrow:: :
onders to himself, I should quit while I’m ahead::
St Peter: ::he laughs softly being able to read Pietro’s mind… thinking to himself ::as if Pietro was ever ahead::
Pietro: so our almost 6,000 troops battle almost 20,000 Mayans starting on August 4th, 1540. 15 days later they run like the heathens they are, and we didn’t lose a single man to them…
St. Peter: Yes but you did in your youth, at the Venetian baths…
Pietro: Now now, I was drunk on wine, doesn’t mean anything…
St. Peter: Perhaps but you did lose your…
Pietro: ::coughs loudly:: ok ok…. So by the 17th of September, the Yucatan is under Venetian control… On the 5th of October, Macacaibo is upgraded to a level 2 colony. We gain valuable Maps from the Yucatan was well as peace for 97,500 Ducats, which we happily accept. With this we immediately send a colonist to Cuyini.
St. Peter: Such restraint not to conquer the pagans.
Pietro: I did most of the conquering in my life in my bed.
St. Peter: And suffered many defeats too…
Pietro: Only to my wife… the so-called “Queen” of Cypress, 2 days before the Holyist Day on the Calendar, my wife actually finds a competent explorer… I’m amazed. She did something outside the bedroom for once, I think I rubbed off on her…
St. Peter: Yes ever since she met you, she has.
Pietro: See, even you admit my positive influence on her…
St. Peter: it still amazes me how you had children… anyways go on.
Pietro: Well I’d show you how children are made, but since we’re both males I can’t really do it
St. Peter: Even if I was female, you couldn’t
Pietro: Well um… ah yes, I chose Sicily as a staging point for the expedition, I sent most of my ships there, and began building an army with which the expedition would travel to lands. And finally on the 26th of January 1541 we get a trading post in Cuyuni. On March 1st just something of note… Skane revolted to Sweden, we’re happy that Denmark is weaker, I think they’re almost like the French, but they at least bathe, and don’t eat snails…