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Brilliantly written, where do you get all the ideas from? I'll be following this very closely!
He sits around naked in his office, drinking cheap whiskey and eating deep fried Mars bars.
I don't think I'd accuse a Scot of drinking whiskey!
Looks like Miran's lead from the front (room of your palace) strategy has paid off. Surely nothing can stop Khandesh now, except perhaps a global poker shortage.
COURT JESTER: All hail king Miran...who's leadership embodies the trust his people have in him.
MIRAN: That's true...What?
COURT JESTER: All hail king Miran...who's courage embodies his people's belief in him.
MIRAN: That's true...What?
COURT JESTER: All hail king Miran...who's infinite wisdom leaves many of his people wondering...
MIRAN: That's true...What? Say here...we have had enough of this hailing for the time being...
MIRAN: That's true...What?
COURT JESTER: All hail king Miran...who's courage embodies his people's belief in him.
MIRAN: That's true...What?
COURT JESTER: All hail king Miran...who's infinite wisdom leaves many of his people wondering...
MIRAN: That's true...What? Say here...we have had enough of this hailing for the time being...
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Nice gains and now just to wait the truce out before gaining again at the expense of those that would challenge the mighty Miran...
I think this AAR should stop any pretence of being even remotely about Kandesh and be renamed Miraniad, an ode to the many glorious reincarnations of Miran 
Thank you hugely for the replies!
loki100 - How very wise Stuyvesant's words are too! Khandesh is indeed prospering at present, a shocking state of affairs which was thankfully rectified in this update!
JDMS - Thank you! At present Khandesh is the largest power in India, however Delhi although very wounded are still a threat. The only other large neighbour which borders Khandesh is The Timurids, and thankfully things are not going too well for them, as this update shows.
theconfusedone - Indeed! Miran is an epic leader, and thus his nation in turn is epic!
Chocobo115 - Thank you profusely for the kind words (your bribe is, but of course, en route!). Aside from ripping off numerous other writers, my inspiration for this AAR stems from my sitting naked in my office, drinking cheap whisky and eating deep fried Mars bars. Wait a minute...
naggy - How did you know?!
Dewirix - Quite so, Miran's leadership has truly proven breathtakingly brilliant. Sadly though a poker shaped obstacle has now thrown his reign into disarray as this update shows!
Range - Excellent stuff!
COURT JESTER: All hail-
MIRAN: It had better be good this time.
COURT JESTER: Uhm...all hail the stupendously gifted, talented and all powerful Miran...
MIRAN: That is more like it.
COURT JESTER: ...MubarakKhanKriti.
MIRAN: What was that?
COURT JESTER: Uh, nothing at all, sire!
blsteen - Indeed, all shall fall before Miran! Well, all will fall before a Miran. Sadly the current Sultan seems to have met his match in this update.
RGB - Alas poor Miran's luck finally ran out, as this update shows. Thankfully a Miran can still be hailed however!
aldriq - A fantastic idea, fitting tribute as it would be for a truly skilled leader. Alas, the current Miran has now met his end, I'm just hoping the next will prove half as competent as the original!
Some stupendous news; I've played no further beyond this update, thus I will be taking a break from spouting my drivel on this board for the next two weeks or so (which going on my previous form means that this AAR will likely be on hold for the next year). Unfortunately I will most certainly resume typing up my dross filled updates once again however!
loki100 - How very wise Stuyvesant's words are too! Khandesh is indeed prospering at present, a shocking state of affairs which was thankfully rectified in this update!
JDMS - Thank you! At present Khandesh is the largest power in India, however Delhi although very wounded are still a threat. The only other large neighbour which borders Khandesh is The Timurids, and thankfully things are not going too well for them, as this update shows.
theconfusedone - Indeed! Miran is an epic leader, and thus his nation in turn is epic!
Chocobo115 - Thank you profusely for the kind words (your bribe is, but of course, en route!). Aside from ripping off numerous other writers, my inspiration for this AAR stems from my sitting naked in my office, drinking cheap whisky and eating deep fried Mars bars. Wait a minute...
naggy - How did you know?!
Dewirix - Quite so, Miran's leadership has truly proven breathtakingly brilliant. Sadly though a poker shaped obstacle has now thrown his reign into disarray as this update shows!
Range - Excellent stuff!
COURT JESTER: All hail-
MIRAN: It had better be good this time.
COURT JESTER: Uhm...all hail the stupendously gifted, talented and all powerful Miran...
MIRAN: That is more like it.
COURT JESTER: ...MubarakKhanKriti.
MIRAN: What was that?
COURT JESTER: Uh, nothing at all, sire!
blsteen - Indeed, all shall fall before Miran! Well, all will fall before a Miran. Sadly the current Sultan seems to have met his match in this update.
RGB - Alas poor Miran's luck finally ran out, as this update shows. Thankfully a Miran can still be hailed however!
aldriq - A fantastic idea, fitting tribute as it would be for a truly skilled leader. Alas, the current Miran has now met his end, I'm just hoping the next will prove half as competent as the original!
Some stupendous news; I've played no further beyond this update, thus I will be taking a break from spouting my drivel on this board for the next two weeks or so (which going on my previous form means that this AAR will likely be on hold for the next year). Unfortunately I will most certainly resume typing up my dross filled updates once again however!
Update Nine
After the impressive victory over Delhi, Miran was left feeling content. He had clearly brought about this stunning success. He may not have led the Khandesh forces directly during most of the battles. Furthermore, he may indeed have benefited from some highly questionable decisions made by Delhi during the war. Alongside this, he may also have spent many months avoiding frontline commands in order to work on the extravagant celebration he held for himself at the war's end. Despite all of this, Miran had clearly been the main reason for Khandesh's victory.
As the victor of Delhi, Miran now intended to enjoy the popularity which his success had brought to his reign. The people of Khandesh were once more heaping adoration on to Miran. Admittedly it was General Miran Mubarak Khan Kriti who was the object of their adulation, but at least a Miran was once more popular within Khandesh. As despite General Kriti enjoying most of the adulation from the Khandesh citizens, Miran himself had also won some praise. Wishing to retain this bit of support from his subjects, Miran sought out Minister Hemant.
The best way of retaining, and perhaps even increasing, the amount of popularity which Miran now enjoyed was clearly war with a far smaller state who would prove little challenge to Khandesh's might. Miran had long been convinced that bullying weaker nations was ever the mark of a great man, and especially that of a great military leader. Cancelling the mission to convert Kongu left Hemant rather frustrated however.
"Good day, sire, how glad I am to have bumped into you."
"We've hardly bumped into each other, you demanded I seek you out as soon as possible."
"Uhm...yes, sire. I am afraid I have to state my objection to the cancelling of the conversion of Kongu. The goal was clearly important for our great country. We need convert the heathen people in Kongu and other provinces, as subjects who practice the faith of the majority within a nation are happier and more productive members of society."
"I thought that the Hindu faith was still the religion practiced by the majority."
"Uhm, yes, well, thats why this mission was important, we have to protect the minority religions within our nation. We need to thus convert people to the minority religion of Islam as this is the task for a conscientious, caring leader, looking after the less well represented members of his nation."
"I see. So that is why this mission should not have been cancelled?"
"Presicely, sire. I can still send a missionary to Kongu of course, despite this small mistake."
"I do not think so. I had heard word that the reason you were so keen on missionaries being sent to Kongu was due to the fact that your nephew Laksman was being considered for the role. The very, very well paid role."
"Well, uh, yes, sire. He is clearly the most experienced man for the role. As for the pay which goes with the position, well it is only right that we as a nation pay our missionaries a good wage, sire. They deserve the recompense, as bringing the faith to heathens has ever been a thankless task."
"I would be pretty thankful to receive the amount which I heard our missionaries are paid. Anyway, how can he be experienced when I was told that Laksman had previously worked as a goatherd?"
"That...uhm...uh...sire, I hate to point this out, but as ever I only exist to offer you sage advice. In this case, a missionary should be sent to Kongu otherwise I think people could begin considering your early...'retirement' once more."
"No, I think not. As the victor of Delhi, I think my position quite secure."
"People say that General Kriti was the true victor, sire."
"Do they indeed. Do they."
A distressed Minister Hemant watched Miran stalk off. Hemant was left feeling very worried. It seemed that he may have failed to afford Miran enough respect over the years, a very easy thing to do. The blundering fool now seemed halfway intelligent. A very troubling development.
Whilst Miran was enjoying a period of peaceful reign over his reasonably content populace, Khandesh's large western neighbour, The Timurids, were riven by revolts.
It appeared as if Khandesh was finally the largest power in the region, now that Delhi had been crippled and The Timurids were suffering. Verily Miran was a great leader who had guided Khandesh carefully to her rightful place of supremacy.
October 1449 brought further evidence of Khandesh's new position of power within the region.
Delhi had moved her capital from the province of Delhi itself, which was cut off from the rest of her land, to Allahabad. The move delighted Miran, further proof that it was of Delhi's sudden fall from power.
"I say Hemant, have you heard about Delhi moving her capital?"
"Yes, sire."
"Well, we can no longer call them Delhi can we? They are clearly now the nation of Allahabadi!"
"..."
"You see, they were originally Delhi and no-"
"Yes, sire, yes, very droll. Please do not repeat the joke, I do not think I could survive laughing so much once again."
With no obvious danger now facing Khandesh from the nations neighbouring her, Miran felt the need to tour his country with his cabinet, visiting its many various provinces. A prolonged stay of three months in the newly acquired province of Lucknow, brought about a startling discovery by Miran.
"Hemant, do you know that large region off to the north east looks like it could be mountainous?"
"Really, sire?"
"Yes, that region off there."
"Why, I think you are right, sire. Both myself and the rest of the cabinet had not noticed those mountains until you pointed them out. An excellent discovery, sire."
"ah well, that is the difference between us. As a skilled military commander, I have an astounding sense of awareness for my surroundings, unlike yourself."
"Indeed, sire, a remarkable discovery. It is quite astounding that it has taken you a mere three months to uncover such a hidden area. Mountainous regions are so very difficult to identify after all. Truly, sire, your sense of awareness is second to none."
During this stay in Lucknow, filled as it was by remarkable hirtherto unheard of discoveries, a worrying report was brought to Minister Hemant in February 1450.
General Kriti had passed away. The news was made all the more troubling by the strange circumstances surrounding his early passing. Hemant quickly sought out Miran, wishing to discusss this shocking news with him.
"General Kriti is dead, sire! The hero of Delhi-"
"Ahem."
"Uhm...the...verymuchsubordinatetoyourgreatself, lesser hero of Delhi has been cut down at an early age, sire!"
"Oh. How terrible."
"Indeed, sire. A very mysterious death it was too. Apparently General Kriti was slain whilst battling some rebels, an arrow piercing his armour."
"How sad."
"Indeed, sire, but that is not the mysterious part. General Kriti's armour had been tampered with! His grey painted cloth armour had been replaced with plate mail!"
"Shocking."
"Quite, and strangely enough, I have heard that on the very day of his death, your own personal armourer, Ritesh, who you had very kindly sent to aid General Kriti, had just arrived in the camp prior to the battle."
"Interesting."
"Uhm...yes, sire. So, uh-"
"I have been meaning to speak with you for some time now Hemant. It is quite an important matter."
"Yes, sire?"
"We are both growing quite old now. I obviously have to continue my work, a Sultan will never retire unless forced into accepting early...'retirement'. However a Prime Minister certainly can."
"Oh no, sire. I live to serve you."
"I'm sure you do. However I insist, as a reward for your faifthful service over the years, that you welcome and enjoy this chance at early retirement which I am offering you."
"Oh, well, thank you, sire."
"My pleasure. Guards, please get Minister Hemant's early retirement gift so that I can present it to him."
"A retirement present, sire? An early...'retirement' present?"
"Oh yes, I rather think you will like it. A very sumptous-"
"Oh...oh no...please, sire, no!"
Moments pass.
"Well, that was odd. You, guard, why is that well in the middle of this mansion's grounds anyway?"
"I do not know, sire. It is in a bad position."
"A very bad position for poor Hemant. I can only imagine he did not like Nagpur, which was where the sumptous retirement villa I was going to offer him, was located. Quite an overreaction anyway, running off screaming as he did, you would think an early retirement present was a thing of horror. Such a pity too that he did not notice that well which lay in his path. Oh well."
"Oh well indeed, sire."
[strictly speaking, death by well should really be saved for the Suenik part of this AAR, but I could not help myself!]
Having defeated a number of his major neighbouring rivals, Delhi and Bihar, having seen the only other noteable power in the region, The Timurids, succumb to revolts, and having now removed the two remaining threats to his reign, the popular and talented General Kriti and the treacherous Minister Hemant, Miran felt content. Finally he could relax. No longer did he fear early 'retirement'. His nation was untroubled by anyone, and he could now live off the fruits of his labour.
Relaxing after a strenous day filled with feasting and drooling over numerous Diwani script filled documents, Miran sent for his personal servant.
"ah there you are, Prasan, see to the fire please, it is quite cold despite it being April."
"Of course, sire."
"Thank you Prasan."
With the fire now roaring, Prasan began to leave the room, noting as he did that Miran was taking a seat.
"Sire, no, do not sit there!"
It was too late. Prasan had used a poker to stir the fire back into life and had then clumsily left the poker on a nearby chair. The very chair Miran had chosen to sit upon.
Miran's personal guard rushed in having heard the commotion. Taking in the scene the captain of the guard was shocked.
"What is this? Wait, is that a poker on that chair? And its gone straight up his majesty's-"
"I didn't mean for this to happen!"
So ended the reign of the military genius, Miran Adil Khan I Faruqi. As is the way of inbred royals everywhere, Miran had made sure that his heir shared his name. Thus the people of Khandesh could look forward to the rule of yet another Miran. Truly Khandesh was blessed with great luck.
______________________
Thus yet another part of this AAR comes to a close. This Going FAARther (quick, click the link to escape this tripe and instead get the chance to read a fantastic AAR!) section is now complete. A great many thanks once more to dinofs for giving me permission to insult his great AAR with my pathetic attempt at emulating his kind self. Next to suffer is Iain Wilson...
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Just when he was growing something resembling a brain. Alas, he went the way he always feared he would. I really did like this portion and am looking forward to the next chapter.
Another Miran? Khandesh's neighbors are dooooomed!
(as are her generals, ministers, people...)
(as are her generals, ministers, people...)
That was excellent, and oh so funny. I just love the early retirement present...that was genius.
Well done! I did especially like this part of the AAR.
Well done! I did especially like this part of the AAR.
well this Miran looks suspiciously competent ... at least in military matters, but if the true spirit of Suenik is to be channelled then with some luck he'll spend most of his reign teaching the peasants how to take their cows to the fields and dealing with domestic insanity. Good that the poker outwitted Miran in the end.
The fact that the poker was an enemy deadlier than Delhi, should speak volumes about strategy to the next Miran. Lesson one: problems to be eliminated are best approched from behind.
Also, I propose turing Miran into a title. Miran of Khandesh. It's pretty eponymous.
Also, I propose turing Miran into a title. Miran of Khandesh. It's pretty eponymous.
Woe to be the Khandeshites that the mighty Miran has fallen
...wait...Another Miran has ascended the throne that straddles India like a fat, bloated, rotten, whale carcass.
Superb. To Samarkand!
...wait...Another Miran has ascended the throne that straddles India like a fat, bloated, rotten, whale carcass.
Superb. To Samarkand!
No! Khandesh should be renamed to Mirania!
However, Miran should become the de facto term of endearment in Mirania, as in "morningSIDEr is such a Miran."