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alledgedly at least one English king was disposed of by use of a poker - and no, he wasn't whacked around the head with it.

Yes, supposedly Edward II was killed in this way, but there isn't really any evidence for it. Using pokers as motivational aids is Khandesh's own take on the situation.

Can't help myself from rooting for Miran. He has that underdog appeal.
 
Wonderful udates, as always! The concept for this AAR is great, and I regret that I have only now started reading it. I will be following. :)
 
Hoo-rah...may Miran's rule...enough said.

The man surely knows how to grab victory from his army's grasp and give the vanquished a second wind. Maybe he's the leader of the wrong country...have you ever thought of that?
 
Thank you hugely for the replies!

Boris ze Spider - Both loki100 and Dewirix have been kind enough to explain where I got the idea from. However the many references to pokers stems from the fact that I always repeat halfway decent jokes. If I then think of a bad joke (as this and most of my attempts at humour are) I employ it non-stop!

loki100 - I rather think that fustigation as a casus belli would definetly spur many to war!

Dewirix - I too feel for Miran. The poor guy is suffering from my usual horrendous play during a game of EU3. The peace deal with Delhi was stupid but I can defend it (just about), the peace deal with Bihar is truly indefensible. I offered peace as I did not want any of their land at the time, but I should have first polished off her army before doing so.

JDMS - Thank you profusely for the kind words (your bribe is, but of course, in the post! I'm very glad that you are following this.

Range - You are quite right. He is a leader in the Scottish mould (read as; horribly incompetent and seemingly very drunk), he'd make the perfect ruler for Scotland!
 
Update Five

The forces arrayed against Khandesh were comparable in size to the army which Miran could muster. Thankfully, however, the coalition was comprised of a number of states which could only field small armies individually. Mercifully also, the enemy coalition had no military leader of Miran's impressive calibre. Thus Miran sent the Khandesh army firstly against one of the largest threats currently facing Khandesh, Rajputana.

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Once more directing the battle from afar, from the nearby province of Udaipur, Miran was quick to join his force once victory had been secured.

With Miran busy waging war, far from the aparatus of government, he was unable to order his usual high volumes of useless, but impressive looking, Diwani script filled documents. The resulting savings proving quite considerable.

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The savings were quickly appropriated by Minister Hemant, who spent most of the money upon sending members of his family on 'missionary' junkets.

The once mighty Vijaynagar was the first country removed from the war in July 1437. Vijaynagar was still suffering from the effects of bankruptcy and had subsequantly been unable to field any armies whatsoever. Thus making the nation exactly the type of opponent Miran favoured fighting. A defenceless one.

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The peace deal was damaging for Vijaynagar as she lost one of her three remaining provinces when forced to free the Maldives. Hemant had insisted upon this being a proviso of the peace deal, arguing that it was only right that the Maldive people should live in peace and harmony, governing themselves independently. He also made it clear that his being given a free holiday villa by the Maldives government, following the peace deal, had no impact on his reasoning whatsoever.

Having bested a number of the nations opposing Khandesh, Miran was left hugely worried upon learning the identity of the only nation within the enemy coalition who still had an army large enough to truly challenge him.

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It was his nemesis, Bihar, who had 10,000 men under arms.

Not only had the Bihar army survived the previous war but it had slightly grown in size. This thus showed once again that Miran's decision to offer peace to a nation which had so nearly been decimiated by Khandesh, had been an act of utter folly. Desperate to make ammends, Miran ordered a small force into Indravati to act as bait so as to draw Bihar's force on to the attack.

He then led reinforcements from the nearby province of Bastar, planning to then outnumber the attacking Bihar force. This next battle was crucial, it would likely decide the fate of Miran's reign. He would either once more be lauded as a great leader, or suffer an uncomfortable pain in his *cough*.

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The battle of Indravati proved a crushing victory for Khandesh. Alas Miran had not attended the battle itself, being forced as he was to rest in Bastar after having lightly sprained a finger. Thankfully he had been able to send the reinforcements on ahead nonetheless, thus bringing about the impressive victory. Miran then staged a remarkable recovery upon learning of Khandesh's victory, quickly racing to Indravati so as to be able to lead the chase against the fleeing Bihar force.

Once again Bihar's smaller routed force was being slowly but surely ground down. Still, as in the previous war between both nations, Miran remained worried about the attrition being suffered by his army and sudden possible defeat.

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A flagging Miran mentioned to an aide that he was considering an offer of peace to Bihar once more, as he still worried about ravaging Bihar's lovely countryside with continued fighting. The aide merely had to make reference to the rocketing price and shortage of pokers, to have Miran suddenly chase after the Bihar army with great speed. One last victory would likely finish off Bihar's forces.

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Final victory was then at least achieved in May 1438. That Miran had taken so long to defeat a force smaller than his own, which was lacking in morale, a force which had managed to escape with 91 men left alive after the Battle of Jharkhand despite the overwhelming numerical superiority Miran enjoyed, was of little consequence. Finally Miran had accomplished complete victory once more. His confidence had returned. Khandesh had her military great once again.

With no more enemy armies left in the field, attention turned towards siege duties. Miran however opting to return to the capital in order to recuperate and enjoy the plaudits which followed his stunning and courageous victories over considerably smaller nations.

Further good news followed in December 1438 with Orissa's annexation.

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Having achieved the aim of annexing Orissa peace was declared with the enemy coalition leader, Rajputana, in return for some minor concession, bringing the war to an end.

Following the end of the war, Miran continued to enjoy his revived fortunes in rule. Yet more welcome news greeting him in January 1439, when the Oriya people became an accepted part of Khandesh, courtesy of the newly acquired core on Cuttack.

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This was welcome news indeed, Miran happy in the knowledge that the Oriya people had wished to fully integrate into Khandesh no doubt due to his great rule. In truth, it had been Minister Hemant's creation of a poker production factory in Cuttack. The Oriya people had taken the hint, quickly realising that joining fully with Khandesh was preferable to a short sharp pain in the *ahem*.

The years began to slip by, Miran happily living off his success over Bihar, letting his waist expand whilst still boasting of his military prowess. Diplomatically too, Miran was experiencing success, in August 1440 the Ottomans offered an alliance yet again. It mattered not that the Ottomans were too far from India to ever provide any direct aid in times of war. Nor that the perfidious nation had already reneged on previous alliances with Khandesh in time of war numerous times before. The alliance made Miran look an ever more wise and effective ruler therefore it was gladly accepted.

Having amassed a considerable amount of army tradition (71.70%), following Khandesh's many victories, a general was finally hired by Minister Hemant.

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Miran was outraged by this decision, failing to understand why Khandesh could possibly need a professional, highly trained officer, when she had a chubby, deluded ruler of questionable courage to lead her armed forces. He was however mollified when Hemant pointed out that the recruitment of General Miran Mubarak Khan Eswara would allow for Miran to 'oversee' battles far more effectively whilst still gaining all prestige from victories, as he could simply claim to have been the actual Miran on the field of battle.

Impressed with this reasoning, and realising that two military greats named Miran were clearly better than one, Miran declared war on both Deccan and Travanacore on the same day in January 1442.

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It was time to once more best some far smaller nations so as to prove that the Sultan was the better of the two Mirans. Clearly both Deccan and Travanacore had little chance against the great leadership provided by both leaders Miran.

Furthermore it mattered not that Khandesh's allies had proven so confusingly traitorous, both the Maldives and the Ottomans honouring and breaking their alliance against different foes. As with the Ottomans too far away able to send any direct aid, and with the Maldives without any fleet whatsoever to transport her pitifully small army, both were unimportant allies merely there to shoulder some of the vast amounts of glory this victorious campaign would most certainly bring to Khandesh.

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Victory for both Mirans was clearly assured.
 
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The other nations in India will surely tremble at the thought of two Mirans!
 
I can't believe I've not posted here before!

Great update, nice pics and very funny writing. I laughed out loud about the bit with the two Miran generals. Excellent work.
 
RANGE: Say, the two Miran aren't half bad...or, are they? I have to think about that for a moment.

Let us celebrate our leader's victories...hip-hip...(crickets)
 
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One of the Mirans has good stats. He's sure not to last long, I imagine.
 
Thank you hugely for the replies!

sjones25 - It truly puzzles me why nations would constantly break alliances with Khandesh. They should know that when you are fighting alongside a man of Miran's military calibre, you know nothing but glory awaits!

JDMS - Indeed! Few can withstand such an onslaught of military genius!

Boris ze Spider - Too true! Frankly without the Maldives aid in this coming war, I was considering abject surrender.

Ashantai - Thank you profusely for the kind words (your bribe is, but of course, en route to you!). I was quite surprised to get a general called Miran as I already have the Sultan and his heir is also named Miran. I can only imagine there are few names within the Khandesh files for the game, still it works out nicely for me and my terrible humour!

Range - Khandesh's victories shall be doubled by two Mirans, world conquest awaits!

loki100 - Thats quite possible that there are 2.5 Mirans. However there is, alas, no exchange rate for turning Mirans into Alexanders. As clearly any Miran is such a competent and brilliant leader that he is worth an incalculable amount of Alexanders!

RGB - What amazing foresight you have! Alas one Miran did indeed pass away suspiciously quickly.
 
Update Six

General Eswara enjoyed a victorious beginning to his first military command with Khandesh.

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Admittedly the victory came against a hugely outnumbered Deccan force which he had failed to crush within two engagements. Nonetheless the Sultan was relieved upon hearing news of these battles. Clearly Eswara was indeed a military leader qualified to carry on the proud military tradition associated with the name of Miran.

The Sultan, to his chagrin, was leading a smaller force than that of Eswara, once more fighting his nemesis Bihar. Showing unheard of guile, Miran had waited for Bihar's army to be soundly defeated by some Bihar rebels before making his move.

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Facing competition for the first time when it came to military command, Miran felt compelled to actually be present at the battle against Bihar, rather than 'overseeing' matters from afar. The men he was leading were by now so unaccustomed to having their Sultan actually present on the battlefield, that they secured an convincing victory over Bihar, fighting with a desperate energy, seeking a quick success before Miran had a chance to ruin things.

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A delighted Miran happily trumpeted his victory, eager as he was to make it clear that he was still Khandesh's foremost military leader. Happily glossing over the fact as he did so that the Bihar rebels had actually secured a considerably more impressive victory over the Bihar army than he himself.

Despite enjoying a considerable numerical advantage over the routed Bihar force Miran was finding it, once again, impossible to crush the Bihar army despite numerous engagements.

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Attrition and the seeming invicibility of Bihar's army left Miran very worried. The men under his command were left very worried too, scared as they were that Miran would cravenly surrender to a near defeated Bihar once more.

To add to Miran's growing unease, Eswara enjoyed an impressive victory over Travancore's army in the southern theatre.

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Miran was becoming concerned that with such displays of competence and ability, Eswara would not only besmirch the proud military traditions linked to the Miran name, he could also prove a contender to the throne. With many Khandesh citizens growing ever more dissatisfied with Miran's reign.

March 1443 brought considerably better news for Miran, as he now thought victories achieved by Eswara to be bad news, with Deccan forced to cede the province of Parlakimidi to Khandesh alongside some other minor concessions.

In the same month, Minister Hemant was left shocked upon being brought a troubling report.

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General Eswara had suddenly died. Hemant's shocked reaction to the news was caused not merely due to the fact that the talented general had died during the prime of his life, but furthermore that the cause of his death was very suspicious. Hemant reported to a surprisingly happy Miran that Eswara had passed away after receiving severe fustigation at the hands of Miran's personal physician, Rujul Jaykar. Jaykar had suddenly been assigned to Eswara's camp mere days before the general's death. The physician had then insisted that the general receive the treatment after Eswara had complained about chipping a fingernail.

These mysterious circumstances were made all the more suspicious considering Eswara's growing popularity, a popularity which had begun to threaten Miran's reign. Miran simply replied to Hemant that it was a true shame that such an impressive leader, clearly not as impressive as himself but good nonetheless, had passed away so suddenly. However he was too busy attempting to crush the accursed Bihar army at present to look into the matter.

Even worse was to follow in May 1443 when a hugely concerned Miran was left panicked by the sight of a comet.

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This panic was not brought about due to Miran personally believing that such a sight was a portent of doom, that was clearly only something which an uneducated peasant would believe. He, as a reasonable, rational and intelligent man, knew better. Rather, he was left frightened by the comet due to the fact that he had first thought it the avenging spirit of Eswara. Whereas the appearance of a comet was of little concern and only something superstitious fools would be worried by, Miran knew ghosts to be a true and present danger.

Finally ending this run of bad luck, although Miran still felt quite suspiciously cheerful regarding Eswara's death, Miran finally bested Bihar's army after months of chasing the routed, demoralised and considerably smaller force.

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A very proud Miran proclaimed the victory one of the greatest ever won. Truly Miran was a military leader without equal.

July 1443 brought peace with Travanacore, with the province of Calicut ceded to Khandesh.

Having finally bested Bihar's smaller routed army, Miran was able to exact a punishing peace deal with his nemesis.

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No longer would Bihar prove a rival to Khandesh. Clearly Miran was a military leader without peer, his victory over the much smaller and weaker Bihar had shown that. Indeed, so weak now was Bihar that Miran felt it time to humiliate her further by expanding Khandesh's influence over the one province nation. A fitting final insult. A further demonstration of Khandesh's power.

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A considerable humiliation for Khandesh then, upon finding that her economy was weaker than that of a one province minor. Truly Miran was proving a hugely talented ruler in the fields of both economics and the military for Khandesh.
 
Oh man I just love the sarcasm and irony you have going here. So many funny quotes, but I like this one best:

"Clearly Miran was a military leader without peer, his victory over the much smaller and weaker Bihar had shown that."

Classic. Excellent update!
 
Truly, is there any problem that cannot be solved with fustigation?
 
Hey. It's not like Miran runs the economy single-handed. Unlike the army. That is all his doing.