-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Fat man: Quickly! The democrats are attacking! We must get into the fat-mobile!
everyone ran into the Oscar Meyer wiener mobile, which had the Oscar meyer crossed out, and Fat-mobile written in it's place. Fat man put in his favorite disturbed album, and rode towards the not-so-DMZ.
Rommel: *makes the horn sign \m/* WOO! Let's go kill someone!
Fat man: Hang on a second. *stops car* I'D LIKE A NUMBER 2!
Rommel:...WTF!? We gotta get somewhere, fatass!
Fat man: I said hang on. *to man* I'd also like a chili cheese fry, and- *to Rommel* What do you want?
Rommel: *sigh* I guess I'll have a Der-burger.
Fat man: and a Derburger!
They pulled up, and grabbed the food.
Fat man: There better not be any- *opens bag* ONIONS!? I DIDN"T ORDER ONIONS!! *aims wiener turret at person*
Person: Oh sh-
Later, at the DMZ, Rommel was sitting with fat-man, who was eating. Constantly. I mean, he friggin stole all the food he saw.
Fat-man: Ooh! A cookie! Yeah, anyways, Rommel you need to lead some of these chinese soldiers. They're having some trouble. They keep thinking that, if they just send billions upon billions of soldiers into the lines, they'll eventually win.
Rommel: But, aren't they winning?
Fat-man: THat's not the point. They thing is, the troops are getting very demoralized.
Rommel: Bah! I don't believe you!
soldier walking by: *yells* *babbles* HAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHA!!! *pupils widen* Hey! A tree! WHEEEEEEEE! *hits tree*
Rommel:
...
Fat-man: I told you! Now, the chinese demand you lead the assault into the village of Pingidinga-ding-dong-dung.
Rommel: I'm on it. *stops* What are you going to do then?
Fat-man: I'm going to eat donuts, and then, when I see someone robbing something, beat the s**t out of them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rommel: troops, assemble!
The chinese soldiers ran in a disorderly fashion to where they were supposed to be.
Rommel: It has come to my attention that some of you are becoming a bit saddened by the billions of deaths of your comrades. However, I am here to help!
Soldier: How?
The soldier was shot for his incompetence.
Rommel: Any more questions? *points gun towards crowd*
Soldier: Yeah, ho-
the soldier was shot for his incompetence.
Rommel: Now, I want you all to show me your latest tank.
soldier:
Rommel: What the hell is that!?
soldier: Our latest tank! Now, it's made with only 2% milk!
the soldier was shot for his idiocy.
Rommel: Ugh... I guess you'll have to go out on- *chokes* on foot.
Violin trill plays
The violinist was shot for missing a note.
Rommel: Now let's go.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
US soldier 1: what are they doing down there?
Us soldier 2: It looks like they're talking.
Chinese soldier 1: Hey, why are we here?
Chinese soldier 2: To protect this outpost from that outpost.
Chinese soldier 1: Why is that outpost over there?
Chinese soldier 2: For defense against this outpost.
Chinese soldier 1: So, we wouldn't be here if neither of us had an outpost?
The soldier was shot for making too much sense.
Us Soldier 1: What was that! I heard a gunshot.
Us Soldier 2: Yeah, one of them just shot the other.
Us soldier 1: Oh...this would be a great time to attack, wouldn't it?
US soldier 2: Yes, but we can't, because we are supposed to be defending this place.
Us soldier 1: Oh...
Us soldier 2: Yeah...
...
Chinese soldier 2: Well, f**k. This is boring. I'm taking leave.
Us soldier 2: Woah, the other guy just left.
Us soldier 1: Now it would be the PERFECT time to attack.
Us soldier 2: Yes, but we weren't ordered to attack, so we can't.
Us Soldier 1: THat's bulls**t, why can't we attack!? There's noone there, and we have nothing to defend against! I mean, it's ludicrous! Here we are, gaurding against nothing- NOTHING! and we still can't attack!
Us soldier 2:...are you done?
Us soldier 1: Yeah, yeah.
Rommel: Okay guys, let's attack.
1,000,000 soldiers pounced over the hill. This was an amazing feat, because the hill was 30 feet high. Both US soldiers were stunned, and then surrounded. They definitely surrendered.
everyone ran into the Oscar Meyer wiener mobile, which had the Oscar meyer crossed out, and Fat-mobile written in it's place. Fat man put in his favorite disturbed album, and rode towards the not-so-DMZ.
Rommel: *makes the horn sign \m/* WOO! Let's go kill someone!
Fat man: Hang on a second. *stops car* I'D LIKE A NUMBER 2!
Rommel:...WTF!? We gotta get somewhere, fatass!
Fat man: I said hang on. *to man* I'd also like a chili cheese fry, and- *to Rommel* What do you want?
Rommel: *sigh* I guess I'll have a Der-burger.
Fat man: and a Derburger!
They pulled up, and grabbed the food.
Fat man: There better not be any- *opens bag* ONIONS!? I DIDN"T ORDER ONIONS!! *aims wiener turret at person*
Person: Oh sh-
Later, at the DMZ, Rommel was sitting with fat-man, who was eating. Constantly. I mean, he friggin stole all the food he saw.
Fat-man: Ooh! A cookie! Yeah, anyways, Rommel you need to lead some of these chinese soldiers. They're having some trouble. They keep thinking that, if they just send billions upon billions of soldiers into the lines, they'll eventually win.
Rommel: But, aren't they winning?
Fat-man: THat's not the point. They thing is, the troops are getting very demoralized.
Rommel: Bah! I don't believe you!
soldier walking by: *yells* *babbles* HAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHA!!! *pupils widen* Hey! A tree! WHEEEEEEEE! *hits tree*
Rommel:
...Fat-man: I told you! Now, the chinese demand you lead the assault into the village of Pingidinga-ding-dong-dung.
Rommel: I'm on it. *stops* What are you going to do then?
Fat-man: I'm going to eat donuts, and then, when I see someone robbing something, beat the s**t out of them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rommel: troops, assemble!
The chinese soldiers ran in a disorderly fashion to where they were supposed to be.
Rommel: It has come to my attention that some of you are becoming a bit saddened by the billions of deaths of your comrades. However, I am here to help!
Soldier: How?
The soldier was shot for his incompetence.
Rommel: Any more questions? *points gun towards crowd*
Soldier: Yeah, ho-
the soldier was shot for his incompetence.
Rommel: Now, I want you all to show me your latest tank.
soldier:
Rommel: What the hell is that!?
soldier: Our latest tank! Now, it's made with only 2% milk!
the soldier was shot for his idiocy.
Rommel: Ugh... I guess you'll have to go out on- *chokes* on foot.
Violin trill plays
The violinist was shot for missing a note.
Rommel: Now let's go.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
US soldier 1: what are they doing down there?
Us soldier 2: It looks like they're talking.
Chinese soldier 1: Hey, why are we here?
Chinese soldier 2: To protect this outpost from that outpost.
Chinese soldier 1: Why is that outpost over there?
Chinese soldier 2: For defense against this outpost.
Chinese soldier 1: So, we wouldn't be here if neither of us had an outpost?
The soldier was shot for making too much sense.
Us Soldier 1: What was that! I heard a gunshot.
Us Soldier 2: Yeah, one of them just shot the other.
Us soldier 1: Oh...this would be a great time to attack, wouldn't it?
US soldier 2: Yes, but we can't, because we are supposed to be defending this place.
Us soldier 1: Oh...
Us soldier 2: Yeah...
...
Chinese soldier 2: Well, f**k. This is boring. I'm taking leave.
Us soldier 2: Woah, the other guy just left.
Us soldier 1: Now it would be the PERFECT time to attack.
Us soldier 2: Yes, but we weren't ordered to attack, so we can't.
Us Soldier 1: THat's bulls**t, why can't we attack!? There's noone there, and we have nothing to defend against! I mean, it's ludicrous! Here we are, gaurding against nothing- NOTHING! and we still can't attack!
Us soldier 2:...are you done?
Us soldier 1: Yeah, yeah.
Rommel: Okay guys, let's attack.
1,000,000 soldiers pounced over the hill. This was an amazing feat, because the hill was 30 feet high. Both US soldiers were stunned, and then surrounded. They definitely surrendered.
A little weird that shooting all those soldiers made them better, well seems like Rommel at least managed to aid the Chinese enough so that they were able to take out those evil Americans :rofl:
Rommel: Hey, what's that?
Chinese guy: Hmmm....looks like a canon.
Rommel: Well, get it!
Some chinese soldiers got it, and attached it to a truck. However, the truck was crushed under the weight, and Rommel shot everyone in his way in anger. THen, using his pissed-off-powers, he lifted the canon, and threw it to a research area.
Scientist: I've done it! I've found the cure for cancer!
Other scientist: WOW! That's so- what is that?
CRASH!!
Scientist: *cough* No....NO...the CURE! IT's GONE!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
to be continued...
Chinese guy: Hmmm....looks like a canon.
Rommel: Well, get it!
Some chinese soldiers got it, and attached it to a truck. However, the truck was crushed under the weight, and Rommel shot everyone in his way in anger. THen, using his pissed-off-powers, he lifted the canon, and threw it to a research area.
Scientist: I've done it! I've found the cure for cancer!
Other scientist: WOW! That's so- what is that?
CRASH!!
Scientist: *cough* No....NO...the CURE! IT's GONE!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
to be continued...
Rommel grabbed everyone, and jumped to the research sight, and ordered the scientists to begin researching the canon. They began to poke it. After a while...
Rommel: What the hell are you doing?
Scientist: At this point, we don't know what it does. We are poking it to see what it does.
...
Scientist: Ok, now we can move to dis-assembling it.
Rommel: Finally!
...
Scientist: Anyone have a screwdriver?
Rommel:
The scientist was shot
Other scientist: I have one!
Rommel:
...
scientist: THERE! We finally figured out what it is!
Rommel:...It's a canon.
scientist:...what?
Rommel: It's a canon. It's always been a canon.
scientist: Well, why didn't you tell us? This could have saved us a lot of time!
Rommel: ... :wacko: *eye twitches* *pupils widen* *runs around the room* HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm a bird! WHEEEEE!
Rommel continued to run around the room, and found a window. He jumped out...
Rommel: SEE!? I can fly! I can FLY!! *looks down* I CAN'T FLY!! HOLY SHIT!!
A few weeks later in the hospital...
Rommel: Ugh...where am I?
doctor: You went mental, and a section of your brain turned off. Luckily, we turned it back on. But you did suffer some "minor" injuries such as a *cough* broken pelvis *cough* and a minor *cough* skull fracture *cough*.
Rommel: What?
doctor: I said you're fine! You can leave whenever!
Rommel: That's great!
so, back over at the research center, with the windows blocked with iron bars, the scientists began to work on the-
Rommel: Wait, what do you mean "began"?
Yeah, uh, they stopped after you fell, and decided not to work 'til you came back.
Rommel: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!
scientist: SOMEONE GRAB HIM BEFORE HE BREAKS THE WALL!!
Rommel was grabbed by 3 guards, a scientist, and, with the help of a supermagnet, was strapped to a bed.
Rommel: mmff! mmfmf mff!
scientist: I'm sorry, but we can't afford to lose you. Now, here's what we have so far.
The scientist showed rommel a blueprint of the canon. It appeared to be of ancient origin, dating from WW1.
scientist: It's the Big-Bertha. We don't know how it got here, but fortunately, it won't play any significant role in the plot what-so-ever.
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, and it went silent for a while.
Scientist: Anyways, we are currently manufacturing the ammo for it. Unfortunately, each shell is the size of a nuclear bomb, which is why we are just going to build nukes and put those in instead.
Rommel: Mmf! *removes gag* Wait! Isn't that dangerous?
Scientist: *imagines*
over at the loading center
loader: It's too heavy! I can't lift it!
Other's: Yes you can! WUSSY!
loader: Woops! *drops bomb*
Scientist: *stops* No! It's perfectly safe!
Rommel: Alright. Well, when can we use it?
Scientist: Our next bomb will be done in a few days. So, yeah. Then.
Rommel: Great!
Rommel: What the hell are you doing?
Scientist: At this point, we don't know what it does. We are poking it to see what it does.
...
Scientist: Ok, now we can move to dis-assembling it.
Rommel: Finally!
...
Scientist: Anyone have a screwdriver?
Rommel:
The scientist was shot
Other scientist: I have one!
Rommel:
...
scientist: THERE! We finally figured out what it is!
Rommel:...It's a canon.
scientist:...what?
Rommel: It's a canon. It's always been a canon.
scientist: Well, why didn't you tell us? This could have saved us a lot of time!
Rommel: ... :wacko: *eye twitches* *pupils widen* *runs around the room* HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm a bird! WHEEEEE!
Rommel continued to run around the room, and found a window. He jumped out...
Rommel: SEE!? I can fly! I can FLY!! *looks down* I CAN'T FLY!! HOLY SHIT!!
A few weeks later in the hospital...
Rommel: Ugh...where am I?
doctor: You went mental, and a section of your brain turned off. Luckily, we turned it back on. But you did suffer some "minor" injuries such as a *cough* broken pelvis *cough* and a minor *cough* skull fracture *cough*.
Rommel: What?
doctor: I said you're fine! You can leave whenever!
Rommel: That's great!
so, back over at the research center, with the windows blocked with iron bars, the scientists began to work on the-
Rommel: Wait, what do you mean "began"?
Yeah, uh, they stopped after you fell, and decided not to work 'til you came back.
Rommel:
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!scientist: SOMEONE GRAB HIM BEFORE HE BREAKS THE WALL!!
Rommel was grabbed by 3 guards, a scientist, and, with the help of a supermagnet, was strapped to a bed.
Rommel: mmff! mmfmf mff!
scientist: I'm sorry, but we can't afford to lose you. Now, here's what we have so far.
The scientist showed rommel a blueprint of the canon. It appeared to be of ancient origin, dating from WW1.
scientist: It's the Big-Bertha. We don't know how it got here, but fortunately, it won't play any significant role in the plot what-so-ever.
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, and it went silent for a while.
Scientist: Anyways, we are currently manufacturing the ammo for it. Unfortunately, each shell is the size of a nuclear bomb, which is why we are just going to build nukes and put those in instead.
Rommel: Mmf! *removes gag* Wait! Isn't that dangerous?
Scientist: *imagines*
over at the loading center
loader: It's too heavy! I can't lift it!
Other's: Yes you can! WUSSY!
loader: Woops! *drops bomb*
Scientist: *stops* No! It's perfectly safe!
Rommel: Alright. Well, when can we use it?
Scientist: Our next bomb will be done in a few days. So, yeah. Then.
Rommel: Great!
Yay, the first part was funny, though very.. strange and confusing. But still hilarious!
Will watch!
Will watch!
Rommel was inspecting the loading of the first nuke on the Big Bertha. It was magnificent.
Rommel: Lieutenant, how goes the loading?
Lieutenant: We're almost done. We just need to aim it somewhere, and then we'll be set.
Rommel: I want that somewhere to be Tokyo. Now.
Lieutenant: yessir
The canon turned slowly towards tokyo. It took about 4 minutes, but then it was done.
Rommel: FIRE!
The canon did nothing for a moment. Then, there was a loud BOOM!, and the shell sped towards tokyo.
Over in tokyo...
Japanese soldier: Wow, this is boring.
Japanese soldier 2: Yeah. Hey what's that?
Japanese soldier: I don't know. It looks like a....Oh sh-
Over in China, a huge siesmic wave flew over all the cities.
Everyone:...woooooooow!
Rommel:
all soldiers:
Rommel: This...is...perfect...
Simon: Actually, I thought that was pathetic. It drifted to the south a little bit, and it should have been fired more downtown. Frankly, that was the worst thing I've ever seen. What am I even doing here? I'm not even born ye-
Simon was fired out the canon for his constant talking.
Simon: It still suuuuuuuuuucks...
Rommel: Scientist, I want you to build me as many nukes as you can. We're going to defeat america.
Meanwhile, over in the UN...
British representative:...Hey, I think it's about time we started trying to stop this little border incident in China.
American representative: Border incident?! It's a full blown war!
British representative: Now now, it is not a full blown war yet. We still have time to stop it before it gets worse.
German representative: If you don't stop this, Germany will declare war on America!
British representative: Yes, the border problem is going to need- (bla bla bla)
German representative:
In a few hours, Germany declared war on the US, now officially bringing the full German industry to arms. Again.
Rommel: Lieutenant, how goes the loading?
Lieutenant: We're almost done. We just need to aim it somewhere, and then we'll be set.
Rommel: I want that somewhere to be Tokyo. Now.
Lieutenant: yessir
The canon turned slowly towards tokyo. It took about 4 minutes, but then it was done.
Rommel: FIRE!
The canon did nothing for a moment. Then, there was a loud BOOM!, and the shell sped towards tokyo.
Over in tokyo...
Japanese soldier: Wow, this is boring.
Japanese soldier 2: Yeah. Hey what's that?
Japanese soldier: I don't know. It looks like a....Oh sh-
Over in China, a huge siesmic wave flew over all the cities.
Everyone:...woooooooow!
Rommel:
all soldiers:
Rommel: This...is...perfect...
Simon: Actually, I thought that was pathetic. It drifted to the south a little bit, and it should have been fired more downtown. Frankly, that was the worst thing I've ever seen. What am I even doing here? I'm not even born ye-
Simon was fired out the canon for his constant talking.
Simon: It still suuuuuuuuuucks...
Rommel: Scientist, I want you to build me as many nukes as you can. We're going to defeat america.
Meanwhile, over in the UN...
British representative:...Hey, I think it's about time we started trying to stop this little border incident in China.
American representative: Border incident?! It's a full blown war!
British representative: Now now, it is not a full blown war yet. We still have time to stop it before it gets worse.
German representative: If you don't stop this, Germany will declare war on America!
British representative: Yes, the border problem is going to need- (bla bla bla)
German representative:
In a few hours, Germany declared war on the US, now officially bringing the full German industry to arms. Again.
Nice update, good to see Rommel back from hospital and that you have a nuke now that is really nice and now with Germany at war again we might soon see Rommel back in Germany commanding German forces against the yanks? Nice work
Seeing as Germany had now officially joined the war against the US, they brought their pimpesque tanks over to quicken the Chinese advance. The chinese were very surprised by the german results: China had gained control of all of korea and parts of Japan within a week, compared to taking 2 weeks to take Pyong Pyang.
Over in Fuka...
Rommel: *sniffs air* It smells funny in fuck-a.
Chinese soldier: Actually, it's pronounced fooka, and spelt fuka.
Rommel:...I don't care.
Just then, a tank rolled over the Chinese guy. Rommel turned his head, thinking he was done talking. He wandered over to a jeep, and rolled away into the sunlight. This wasn't a smart move, because the ramp was only 10 feet high, and he landed in a pit of pirannah.
Rommel, being a tough guy, merely walked out, with the pirannah biting the shit out of him.
Chinese soldier: Sir, it seems you have some fish on you.
Rommel: I know.
Chinese soldier:...You, want me to take 'em off?
Rommel: No, they're fine.
Then, one of the fish found an artery, and blood began to squirt.
Chinese soldier: Sir, I really think you should get those fish off you.
ROmmel: Why?
Chinese soldier: Well, the troops don't like seeing their general bleed...on them.
Rommel: WHat?! They're just chickenshits. I'm sure that they'll toughen up after tonights battle.
Chinese soldier: WEll, ok.
Later that night...
Rommel walked into the HQ hall, bleeding everywhere, and stunning doctors, who thought that he should have died by now. After 8 hours.
Rommel: *bleeds everywhere* Good night, gents!
Chinese soldiers: Good night! *pull out sleeping bags and pillows*
Rommel: No no, put that away! We're about to go into battle!
Chinese soldiers: *Put's stuff away*
Rommel: Ok, I want you all in Tokyo by tomorrow morning. Is that clear?
Chinese soldiers: SIR YES SIR!
Rommel: WOAH! Don't yell, I'm right here. Jeez.
The next morning, in tokyo...
Rommel: Um...
Chinese soldier: ...what?
Rommel: Where's everyone else?
Chinese soldier: Um...they made it to tokyo...BUT, they were captured.
The soldier was shot.
Rommel: AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Rommel, who had entered yet another dillusional state, began running wildly around tokyo. He eventually saw 2 people walking by.
Rommel: YUMMY! CUP CAKES!
Japanese guy: What?
Rommel jumped on the japanese guy, and began to rip him apart and eat his arm. Rommel, who was tired of his yelling, ripped his head off. The other Japanese person saw this, and tried to run away. However, Rommel saw him, and lept at him. The japanese guy fell, and Rommel punched through his skull.
Rommel continued throughout the city, killing many people. He eventually made it to an army base.
Japanese soldier: What the? Look! There's rommel! Capture him!
The japanese soldiers circled around rommel. Rommel eyed around him, but stayed as motionless as possible. One japanese man yelled FIRE!, and Rommel lept up. The soldiers shot, but they hit each other. Then, Rommel landed, and ran at one confused soldier. He grabbed his gun, and blasted his eyes out. Randomly, his pirannah's jumped of, and bit the shit out of the other soldiers. Eventually, there was only one soldier left.
Soldier:
Rommel: :evil smile:
Rommel lept at him, and the last thing the soldier saw was a bayonet coming at his neck.
Rommel, who then exited his dillusional state, walked normally toward's the POW center, totally ignoring the decapitated heads and limbless torsos. He opened the cage, and freed the soldiers.
Every soldier:
soldier: What the f**k happened?
Rommel: *looks around* What?
soldier: Uh, never mind. Well, at least we made it, right?
Rommel: Yeah, yeah. I guess you did. C'mon, let's go get some ice cream!
Soldiers: YAY!
And so, they walked off into the sunset, and found an ice cream parlor. Rommel ordered an ice cream. It was $5 for a small. He was furious, and ripped the man's intestines out. Then, he stoll all the ice cream, with his soldiers, and ran away.
Over in Fuka...
Rommel: *sniffs air* It smells funny in fuck-a.
Chinese soldier: Actually, it's pronounced fooka, and spelt fuka.
Rommel:...I don't care.
Just then, a tank rolled over the Chinese guy. Rommel turned his head, thinking he was done talking. He wandered over to a jeep, and rolled away into the sunlight. This wasn't a smart move, because the ramp was only 10 feet high, and he landed in a pit of pirannah.
Rommel, being a tough guy, merely walked out, with the pirannah biting the shit out of him.
Chinese soldier: Sir, it seems you have some fish on you.
Rommel: I know.
Chinese soldier:...You, want me to take 'em off?
Rommel: No, they're fine.
Then, one of the fish found an artery, and blood began to squirt.
Chinese soldier: Sir, I really think you should get those fish off you.
ROmmel: Why?
Chinese soldier: Well, the troops don't like seeing their general bleed...on them.
Rommel: WHat?! They're just chickenshits. I'm sure that they'll toughen up after tonights battle.
Chinese soldier: WEll, ok.
Later that night...
Rommel walked into the HQ hall, bleeding everywhere, and stunning doctors, who thought that he should have died by now. After 8 hours.
Rommel: *bleeds everywhere* Good night, gents!
Chinese soldiers: Good night! *pull out sleeping bags and pillows*
Rommel: No no, put that away! We're about to go into battle!
Chinese soldiers:
*Put's stuff away*Rommel: Ok, I want you all in Tokyo by tomorrow morning. Is that clear?
Chinese soldiers: SIR YES SIR!
Rommel: WOAH! Don't yell, I'm right here. Jeez.
The next morning, in tokyo...
Rommel: Um...
Chinese soldier: ...what?
Rommel: Where's everyone else?
Chinese soldier: Um...they made it to tokyo...BUT, they were captured.
The soldier was shot.
Rommel:
AHHHHHHHHHHH! Rommel, who had entered yet another dillusional state, began running wildly around tokyo. He eventually saw 2 people walking by.
Rommel:
YUMMY! CUP CAKES!Japanese guy: What?
Rommel jumped on the japanese guy, and began to rip him apart and eat his arm. Rommel, who was tired of his yelling, ripped his head off. The other Japanese person saw this, and tried to run away. However, Rommel saw him, and lept at him. The japanese guy fell, and Rommel punched through his skull.
Rommel continued throughout the city, killing many people. He eventually made it to an army base.
Japanese soldier: What the? Look! There's rommel! Capture him!
The japanese soldiers circled around rommel. Rommel eyed around him, but stayed as motionless as possible. One japanese man yelled FIRE!, and Rommel lept up. The soldiers shot, but they hit each other. Then, Rommel landed, and ran at one confused soldier. He grabbed his gun, and blasted his eyes out. Randomly, his pirannah's jumped of, and bit the shit out of the other soldiers. Eventually, there was only one soldier left.
Soldier:
Rommel: :evil smile:
Rommel lept at him, and the last thing the soldier saw was a bayonet coming at his neck.
Rommel, who then exited his dillusional state, walked normally toward's the POW center, totally ignoring the decapitated heads and limbless torsos. He opened the cage, and freed the soldiers.
Every soldier:
soldier: What the f**k happened?
Rommel: *looks around* What?
soldier: Uh, never mind. Well, at least we made it, right?
Rommel:
Yeah, yeah. I guess you did. C'mon, let's go get some ice cream!Soldiers: YAY!
And so, they walked off into the sunset, and found an ice cream parlor. Rommel ordered an ice cream. It was $5 for a small. He was furious, and ripped the man's intestines out. Then, he stoll all the ice cream, with his soldiers, and ran away.
Rommel going on a rampage in Tokyo that seems like a wild ride, but what is well is that you have captured the city and I presume more of Japan. Seems like Rommel is doing very well, soon it must be time to land in the USA and do some killing. Nice work
Raudsarw said:
Yeah! Then we can kill billions of people, and it will seem like the "right" thing to do! WOOHOO
While Rommel was going through Japan, another, more evil, person in the US was doing some...evil things.
Evil person: Hehehe! I've done it! I've invented a time machine! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
He went back to the time of 1600, and began doing the wierdest stuff.
Over in Japan...
Rommel: Well, we've done it. We've finally occupied Japa- WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TANKS?!
He looked at where his tanks used to be, and they turned into horse-n-buggies, with oversized artillery pieces on them.
Rommel: Soldier, what happ- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR GUN?!
The soldiers gun had turned into an old musket loader. You know, the ones that took forever to load, and didn't always shoot.
Then, suddenly, everything went back normal.
Rommel: :wacko: *collapses*
A few weeks later, Rommel wakes up in the Berlin hospital, with Hitler looking at him.
Rommel: Hitler...uh...what? What happened?
Hitler: You collapsed. Also, Germany lost.
Rommel shot right up.
Rommel: WHAT?!
Hitler: Yeah, uh, while you were in that 2 week coma, the allies launched nukes on us. We were beyond screwed, and surrendered. But, the wierd thing is, these weird things keep happening. The maps of WW1 keep changing, and appearantly, there's a country that was founded, called the leauge of extraordinarily bad non-gentlemen. It was made in 1936. Rommel, what I need you to do is go back in time and kill it.
Rommel: Well, seeing as we lost, I'll do it.
Hitler: GOod. Now, hold still.
Rommel:
Hitler knocked out rommel. When he woke up, he was in a muddy ditch.
Rommel: Ugh... where am I?
Hitler: Hello, rommel! How are you?
Rommel: Why, im' fine. What is today?
Hitler: It's new year's day! January 1st, 1936.
Rommel: 0_o.
So yes, Rommel was sent back in time. But, it was for a good reason. Over in Russia, the democrat's have taken over, and renamed their country to the league of extra-ordinarily bad non-gentlemen. They then decided that the name was too long, and changed back to Russia. Now, Germany would have to fight the same war it had in 1914. This time, though, he would have to do it without the help of uber-austria. Could he do it? Let's find out...
Evil person: Hehehe! I've done it! I've invented a time machine! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
He went back to the time of 1600, and began doing the wierdest stuff.
Over in Japan...
Rommel: Well, we've done it. We've finally occupied Japa- WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TANKS?!
He looked at where his tanks used to be, and they turned into horse-n-buggies, with oversized artillery pieces on them.
Rommel: Soldier, what happ- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR GUN?!
The soldiers gun had turned into an old musket loader. You know, the ones that took forever to load, and didn't always shoot.
Then, suddenly, everything went back normal.
Rommel: :wacko: *collapses*
A few weeks later, Rommel wakes up in the Berlin hospital, with Hitler looking at him.
Rommel: Hitler...uh...what? What happened?
Hitler: You collapsed. Also, Germany lost.
Rommel shot right up.
Rommel: WHAT?!
Hitler: Yeah, uh, while you were in that 2 week coma, the allies launched nukes on us. We were beyond screwed, and surrendered. But, the wierd thing is, these weird things keep happening. The maps of WW1 keep changing, and appearantly, there's a country that was founded, called the leauge of extraordinarily bad non-gentlemen. It was made in 1936. Rommel, what I need you to do is go back in time and kill it.
Rommel: Well, seeing as we lost, I'll do it.
Hitler: GOod. Now, hold still.
Rommel:
Hitler knocked out rommel. When he woke up, he was in a muddy ditch.
Rommel: Ugh... where am I?
Hitler: Hello, rommel! How are you?
Rommel: Why, im' fine. What is today?
Hitler: It's new year's day! January 1st, 1936.
Rommel: 0_o.
So yes, Rommel was sent back in time. But, it was for a good reason. Over in Russia, the democrat's have taken over, and renamed their country to the league of extra-ordinarily bad non-gentlemen. They then decided that the name was too long, and changed back to Russia. Now, Germany would have to fight the same war it had in 1914. This time, though, he would have to do it without the help of uber-austria. Could he do it? Let's find out...
all rommel needs to do is go crazy and have his scientists capture the ultimate fighter....
CHUCK NORRIS
CHUCK NORRIS
turtledove said:all rommel needs to do is go crazy and have his scientists capture the ultimate fighter....
CHUCK NORRIS
You posted the same thing in the Zombie Napoleon thread. Why are you addicted to CHUCK NORRIS ?