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El Pip

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Makes note: "Don't...play...Slovakia"

Truly educational.
Every day is a school day in Bratislava. Or it would be if they had schools. Or a single Education tech. Or indeed a solid enough concept of time to know what a day is.

Although certainly we can all set aside our differences to agree that the most important thing is a healthy daily dose of making fun of France. :D
Words to live by.


We did that so often in the HOI forums that a Frenchman actually complained and we had a fairly long and in-depth discussion over why France is quite misaligned in media and common memory despite historical evidence to the contrary of them being, as the Simpsons put it, 'cheese-eating surrender monkeys.'
It is certainly a foul slur on monkeys.
 

Wraith11B

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It's the posh borough in London just below Kensington in poshness. It's also a shithole because the residents keep refusing to allow any modernisations/greater London j provments to go through 'their' land. It's the reason why there's so few ringroads and good cycle paths in London.
I'm impressed. Every single part of that is wrong, which even for a string of generalisations is something of an achievement. ;)
That was rather the point. You don't make up random shit about England with your friends?
I do, and I'm not even from England! :p

Although certainly we can all set aside our differences to agree that the most important thing is a healthy daily dose of making fun of France. :D
We did that so often in the HOI forums that a Frenchman actually complained and we had a fairly long and in-depth discussion over why France is quite misaligned in media and common memory despite historical evidence to the contrary of them being, as the Simpsons put it, 'cheese-eating surrender monkeys.'
It is certainly a foul slur on monkeys.
As I read a thread on Reddit about good English history, which included a recommendation to read A Thousand Years of Annoying the French by Stephen Clarke... "A humor-full but serious take on Anglo-French relations since 1066." To which another Redditor replied, "Us Brits love the Frogs really. It's like a sibling you relentlessly take the mickey out of but god help anyone else who bullies them." and another, "Yeah, it's our job to give them a richly deserved shoeing from time to time."

That is clearly all of you gentlemen.

Exactly. Learn from my mistakes, someone had better benefit from them.
I try!
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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That is clearly all of you gentlemen.
Everyone loves the polandball summation of the special relationship, which as we, except for tony Blair and some other scheming politicos, know is with the French not the amercians. Imagine two incredibly old, insane and incestuous twins (I'm talking so twisted that they are both literally containing parts of each other) constantly fighting, plotting and insulting each other, and on occasion, making such strange and disturbing unions such as Canada and Concorde. It's so hypnotising and consistent that others have tried to get in on the actions, usually Spain and whoever is wearing Germany's trousers that day.

No one really knows how this is all going to end either, which really adds to the whole thing. The only thing you can count on is that no matter what happens it will carry on going, regardless of the circumstances or situation, unless someone else tries to impede on the relationship (and it isn't one of the two secretly doing it for lols).
 
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Bullfilter

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Speaking of the update, BEHOLD! I have updated (some) of the graphics of this AAR. Peruse to the index (yes, @Bullfilter, even you! Just don't scroll down too far) for a revamp of the graphics there and flip through the chapters for a cleaner and blended look for the headers!
Well, to get to the appendices I had to scroll all the way down, but squinted my eyes so I couldn't see the headings in between! :D

Although knowing which ones have been changed/to look out for is a bit of a mind-blower! o_O

On the retroactive revamps: it may well be something up-to-date readers could pass on, and I acknowledge and largely agree with the subsequent comments about not re-doing. But offer the following in support and mitigation:
1. Some current readers will enjoy it - especially those who are drawn to the stats and graphics this AAR is so consummate at depicting.
2. Now and in times to come, an AAR of this substance is likely to draw the 'silent reader' still burrowing around in HOI3 history, and for those (now or later) coming in late and reading from the start, it will be fresh and new to them.
3. If you have the time and love doing that stuff (as you undoubtedly do) then ... why the hell not!? :D If it scratches that perfectionist itch and you enjoy it, more power to your arm (and Pictograph) I say! :)
 
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nuclearslurpee

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Well, to get to the appendices I had to scroll all the way down, but squinted my eyes so I couldn't see the headings in between! :D

Although knowing which ones have been changed/to look out for is a bit of a mind-blower! o_O

On the retroactive revamps: it may well be something up-to-date readers could pass on, and I acknowledge and largely agree with the subsequent comments about not re-doing. But offer the following in support and mitigation:
1. Some current readers will enjoy it - especially those who are drawn to the stats and graphics this AAR is so consummate at depicting.
2. Now and in times to come, an AAR of this substance is likely to draw the 'silent reader' still burrowing around in HOI3 history, and for those (now or later) coming in late and reading from the start, it will be fresh and new to them.
3. If you have the time and love doing that stuff (as you undoubtedly do) then ... why the hell not!? :D If it scratches that perfectionist itch and you enjoy it, more power to your arm (and Pictograph) I say! :)
I must second some of these thoughts. The truly classic AARs that I dearly love, I do return to and re-read every so often. Thus far, none of the currently ongoing ones attract a re-read for me (what with new updates appearing...occasionally in some cases!) but who's to say what the future holds?
 
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roverS3

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Independently of my opinion on improving what has been posted, I have to say, the new and improved graphics truly are a step up. They're better looking an easier to read than what I remember was there before.
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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I mean this is a tech rich infographic kind of aar so I am hardly the target audience here. Basically follow the rule of fanfiction in general:

Do it because you want to do it. Doing it well comes second, doing what other people want comes distant third.
 

Wraith11B

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Well, to get to the appendices I had to scroll all the way down, but squinted my eyes so I couldn't see the headings in between! :D

Although knowing which ones have been changed/to look out for is a bit of a mind-blower! o_O

On the retroactive revamps: it may well be something up-to-date readers could pass on, and I acknowledge and largely agree with the subsequent comments about not re-doing. But offer the following in support and mitigation:
1. Some current readers will enjoy it - especially those who are drawn to the stats and graphics this AAR is so consummate at depicting.
2. Now and in times to come, an AAR of this substance is likely to draw the 'silent reader' still burrowing around in HOI3 history, and for those (now or later) coming in late and reading from the start, it will be fresh and new to them.
3. If you have the time and love doing that stuff (as you undoubtedly do) then ... why the hell not!? :D If it scratches that perfectionist itch and you enjoy it, more power to your arm (and Pictograph) I say! :)
I figured you could just scroll a bit before leaping in and going through the threadmarks! I hope that there are a bunch of those silent readers, but for sure it does get that itch scratched!

I must second some of these thoughts. The truly classic AARs that I dearly love, I do return to and re-read every so often. Thus far, none of the currently ongoing ones attract a re-read for me (what with new updates appearing...occasionally in some cases!) but who's to say what the future holds?
That just reminds me I need to work out how to get on with this update!

Independently of my opinion on improving what has been posted, I have to say, the new and improved graphics truly are a step up. They're better looking an easier to read than what I remember was there before.
Thank you! I'm working on it. Certainly finding a font that echoes something like the history book, at the same time giving a legibility and

I mean this is a tech rich infographic kind of aar so I am hardly the target audience here. Basically follow the rule of fanfiction in general:

Do it because you want to do it. Doing it well comes second, doing what other people want comes distant third.
I do have quite a few infographics, don't I? I try to appeal to as much of my fanbase as possible, though.
 
3. Operation Catherine: The End of Bloody February 22 February - March 1942

Wraith11B

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3. Operation Catherine: The End of Bloody February
22 February - March 1942

The Royal Navy had yet more reckonings to endure and sacrifices to offer upon the altar of Churchill’s ego through the end of February and early March. With Force O in retreat, another fleet of cruisers and destroyers attempted to sabotage the German trade with Sweden and Norway as well as attempt to catch any units of the Kriegsmarine sleeping that they could. The Royal Navy believed that their opponents would have retired to their bases after the fights of the previous several weeks, as they would--apparently falling victim to what could only be charitably described as “mirror image bias”--and thus leaving some of the Kattegat open to the predations of a cruiser flotilla.


HMS
Calypso from the air. Little more than a flotilla leader, the light cruiser
managed to survive the actions that sank much of her compatriots.

This flotilla was formed around four heavy cruisers: Cumberland and Suffolk, of the County-class, York, of the eponymous class, and Effingham, of the Hawkins-class. Two light cruisers, Calypso (a C-class light cruiser) and Galathea (Arethusa-class) led two destroyer groups, 31 and 32, a group of eight old V-class destroyers. Another group had been formed from the heavy cruiser Norfolk, light cruisers Emerald and Enterprise, and two destroyer groups (27 and 28), this group was approximately a week behind the other force. Somehow, the Royal Navy’s reasons that--despite the previous losses to the Kriegsmarine--considering late Great War and treaty cruisers and destroyers a suitable task force for steaming unnoticed into the Kattegat and from thence to the Baltic to possibly cause damage to Norwegian, Swedish and German shipping is lost to history.


Admirals Warzecha and Bachmann. Both gained notoriety worldwide for
the drubbing that they gave to the Royal Navy.

Their opponents in the Kriegsmarine mustered two powerful surface action groups, MKGs Warzecha and Bachmann. MKG Bachmann remained the Bismarck, Tirpitz, and Pommern, escorted by Leipzig, Albatross, Königsberg and Mainz; MKG Warzecha held the Blucher as force flag, but the remainder of the makeup of the surface action group is unknown.


The
Albatross. Her loss was a surprise to the naval command,
but did not prevent the victory that followed.

The British crept along the Norwegian side of the Kattegat. Using the weather (foggy and raining) to their benefit, they evaded the majority of the Germans’ air reconnaissance and their collaborators in Norway. Through the use of radio deception, the Royal Navy passed themselves off as a fishing fleet, and steamed at a slow speed to lend itself to their ruse. It worked, after a fashion: the Albatross had been detached from the group after one of those fishermen had requested an “escort” from the Kriegsmarine because they had been attacked by the British. HMS Suffolk lured the Albatross close enough before engaging with torpedoes, but the German ship managed to maintain enough buoyancy to fire off a rapid contact report before sinking and thus the battle was engaged.

Pommern had been closest to the stricken light cruiser and managed to return fire rapidly enough to catch the Suffolk before she could accelerate to combat speeds. Two 15-inch shells smashed the bridge and forward turrets, causing the magazine to detonate and snapping the keel below the B-turret. Suffolk foundered just around 1030, with only a handful of sailors being rescued. None of the other vessels were able to penetrate the long arm of the German battle cruisers: Cumberland sank under fire from Tirpitz, while Effingham was wrecked by Blucher. Kent stubbornly refused to sink, and when the battle ended, Lubeck was again called upon to put several torpedoes into her to send her to the bottom. Later that night, the British destroyers had managed to sneak around the Oresund and catch the Kriegsmarine vessels moving towards Kiel and home; while several hits were recorded, none of the destroyers survived their assault. Only the two light cruisers Calypso and Galathea survived the actions, though more through distance, luck and targeting errors than through actual skill.


A view of the force which had left from Hull to meet its demise in the
Kattegat. None of these vessels would survive.

The second flotilla which arrived off Denmark on the evening of 5 March attempted to follow the plan from the previous fleet action: remain undetected, pick off any enemy units which might stumble their way under the guns and across the paths of their torpedoes. Unfortunately for the British, the advantages which had allowed the previous force to penetrate deep into the Kattegat (slow speed, weather and fog) were no longer present, and so aerial reconnaissance had been tracking their movements, vectoring a smaller task force lead by Saalwachter (two of the Bluchers, and three light cruisers) towards the force. Marinefliegergeschwader 128 showed their capabilities well, accounting for four destroyers, while Blucher sank the Norfolk and Enterprise. Hindenburg took credit for the Emerald the following morning, and the other four destroyers were handled by the light cruisers Nautilus, Stettin, and Koln.

The Royal Navy, suitably chastised for their hubris, withdrew from the North Sea for almost two months. The loss of so many of their vessels for a mere light cruiser in exchange caused a deep review of the forces arranged and dispatched to fight the Kriegsmarine, and from Wilhelmshaven in mid-April a new threat emerged: the u-boat.

*****
 

Cromwell

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What a disaster for the Royal Navy and the update on the Uboat threat still to come! Heads should roll at the Admiralty. Pour encourager les autres.
 
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Bullfilter

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The Royal Navy had yet more reckonings to endure and sacrifices to offer upon the altar of Churchill’s ego through the end of February and early March.
Harsh words - but seemingly justified by the outcome. :eek:
A view of the force which had left from Hull to meet its demise in the
Kattegat. None of these vessels would survive.
:(
Two 15-inch shells smashed the bridge and forward turrets, causing the magazine to detonate and snapping the keel below the B-turret.
Part of a short but gripping account of the naval actions - you are very good at these.
 

El Pip

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What a disaster for the Royal Navy and the update on the Uboat threat still to come! Heads should roll at the Admiralty. Pour encourager les autres.
The only time that will happen is when the Germans start executing people after having executed Operation Sea Lion, which succeeds due to the entire British Army and RAF being piled up on a tiny Indian Ocean island and the UK being entirely undefended.

This is the archetypal HOI AAR, a story that perfectly accords with Paradox's vision of the series. It is a tale of the enemy doing stupid things and the utterly perfect and flawless Germans winning, embrace it on those terms or be forever disappointed.
 
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Cromwell

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The only time that will happen is when the Germans start executing people after having executed Operation Sea Lion, which succeeds due to the entire British Army and RAF being piled up on a tiny Indian Ocean island and the UK being entirely undefended.

This is the archetypal HOI AAR, a story that perfectly accords with Paradox's vision of the series. It is a tale of the enemy doing stupid things and the utterly perfect and flawless Germans winning, embrace it on those terms or be forever disappointed.
What's Heart's of Iron for if not anachronistic invasion plans exercised flawlessly?

In HOI2 my Soviet Union often executes the winter war using 6 divisions of naval infantry and 3 partrooper divisions landed simultaneously supported by a hyper competent red airforce and red navy.

:cool:
 
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TheButterflyComposer

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Oh dear, they decided to do the same stupid thing again. And lost even more ships. And it still doesn't matter because they can still replace them faster than Germany can.

This however is definitely enough to kill Churchill as PM. No question now, he'll be going. The british kicked out of the North Sea? By Germany? People have been shot for less.
 

El Pip

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Oh dear, they decided to do the same stupid thing again. And lost even more ships. And it still doesn't matter because they can still replace them faster than Germany can.
You do need to stop bringing reality into this, it has no place here. I would also say;

1. It's a HOI game so Germany has more IC, no resource limits, no stupid industrial schemes sucking up resources and none of her real world problems or issues. They can build faster than anyone else, if not someone in Paradox is getting sacked.
2. As has been revealed the British have nothing on the slips, not even the OTL build up, so it's 3 years minimum till any new construction emerges
3. But this is all irrelevant, because given all the advantages Germany has they should win this in less than 6 months

So losing the existing fleet does matter, because once that is gone the Germans will be landing in Dover to complete their un-opposed march to London. Sure they could probably do it before with minimal risk, but now there is no excuse.

I'd agree Churchill has to go after this, but it's shuffling deckchairs on the Titanic at this point. ;)
 
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You do need to stop bringing reality into this, it has no place here. I would also say;

1. It's a HOI game so Germany has more IC, no resource limits, no stupid industrial schemes sucking up resources and none of her real world problems or issues. They can build faster than anyone else, if not someone in Paradox is getting sacked.
2. As has been revealed the British have nothing on the slips, not even the OTL build up, so it's 3 years minimum till any new construction emerges
3. But this is all irrelevant, because given all the advantages Germany has they should win this in less than 6 months

So losing the existing fleet does matter, because once that is gone the Germans will be landing in Dover to complete their un-opposed march to London. Sure they could probably do it before with minimal risk, but now there is no excuse.

I'd agree Churchill has to go after this, but it's shuffling deckchairs on the Titanic at this point. ;)
Thats certainly true. The war in the west isn't over but it certainly looks like Germany can invade the UK no problem now. Which is good, because they are soon to be busy walking all the way to siberia without stopping...
 

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Looking at these two engagements alone, one would get the idea that the Kriegsmarine is a competent and experienced navy that got it's chops by patrolling a massive empire, and that the Royal Navy is a reckless upstart that doesn't seem able to match it.

The deceitful tactic of disguising a combat fleet as fishermen is especially damning for their reputation. With a Navy like that, the British empire will be history soon.
 

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The AI sometimes makes AAR writing in its own unique challenge :)
 
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Wraith11B

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What a disaster for the Royal Navy and the update on the Uboat threat still to come! Heads should roll at the Admiralty. Pour encourager les autres.
Eventually...

Harsh words - but seemingly justified by the outcome. :eek:
Part of a short but gripping account of the naval actions - you are very good at these.
I appreciate your comments! I do my best to keep the ROFLSTOMPing from becoming too bland.

Oh dear, they decided to do the same stupid thing again. And lost even more ships. And it still doesn't matter because they can still replace them faster than Germany can.

This however is definitely enough to kill Churchill as PM. No question now, he'll be going. The british kicked out of the North Sea? By Germany? People have been shot for less.
You do need to stop bringing reality into this, it has no place here. I would also say;

1. It's a HOI game so Germany has more IC, no resource limits, no stupid industrial schemes sucking up resources and none of her real world problems or issues. They can build faster than anyone else, if not someone in Paradox is getting sacked.
2. As has been revealed the British have nothing on the slips, not even the OTL build up, so it's 3 years minimum till any new construction emerges
3. But this is all irrelevant, because given all the advantages Germany has they should win this in less than 6 months

So losing the existing fleet does matter, because once that is gone the Germans will be landing in Dover to complete their un-opposed march to London. Sure they could probably do it before with minimal risk, but now there is no excuse.

I'd agree Churchill has to go after this, but it's shuffling deckchairs on the Titanic at this point. ;)
For sure, he does. And yet, people rather rapidly forgot the disaster that was Gallipoli (aside from a few of our ANZAC friends, I'm sure).

The issue is that I've long since taken the idea of trying to return a bit of "competence" to the game, but that of course is still a year and a half away from being presented here. Which is hard to just say, "Hold on, chaps!" but there it is.

Thats certainly true. The war in the west isn't over but it certainly looks like Germany can invade the UK no problem now. Which is good, because they are soon to be busy walking all the way to siberia without stopping...
For sure, they made it easy...

Looking at these two engagements alone, one would get the idea that the Kriegsmarine is a competent and experienced navy that got it's chops by patrolling a massive empire, and that the Royal Navy is a reckless upstart that doesn't seem able to match it.

The deceitful tactic of disguising a combat fleet as fishermen is especially damning for their reputation. With a Navy like that, the British empire will be history soon.
I had hoped you'd phrase it thus: One navy was a competent (yadda yadda)... and the other was the Royal Navy. That said, the Empire does collapse quickly.

The AI sometimes makes AAR writing in its own unique challenge :)
Indeed it does.

Hey, I've got an update burning in my pocket and one more post until top of page billing... anyone want to bite the bullet?
 

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I'll take one for the team and post, but I want it noted I'm not happy about this. Given how we know this AAR plays out you are effectively asking me to accelerate the destruction of Britain! ( :p ;) )