Deo Vindice a CSAAR!

[Ben Kenobi]

Act V: Leviticus
Chapter 8: The Big Goodbye
Part 10: He's Dead Jim

We have a plan. We're all going to rush the door on 10.

What if Shredder has it trapped? Shouldn't we sneak in, Raph?

If we make a loud enough entrance, we'll draw Shredder out. Sneaking in might mean that we run right into him, or get stuck in a room. Breaking down his door will bring him to us.

That sounds like a terrible *plan*.

What do you vote, Donny?

I vote we rush. Better to get the buttkicking over with.

Euh? It seems we have visitors, Oroku Saki.

Indeed. Let me take care of it!

So.. Turtles. You have followed me here!

You'll never get away with this, Shredder!

On the contrary. It is you who have signed your death warrant!

Never!

One down. Who's next?

Ok, you go, Mike. Raph's out cold!

Two down. Who's next.

Let's do rock paper scissors, Don. Ok - you lose you go.

Three down! Now it is just you.

That's it... Closer. Closer.

Cowardly Turtle. Abandoning your brothers? No matter, I will hunt you down!

Uh.. Who are you?

Your worst nightmare, Shredder!

He's dead, Jim! You'll expose the whole deck!

 

[Nikolai]

Did you just incorporate Spock's death in this update? Wow.

 

[Ben Kenobi]

Yes. RIP Nimoy.

 

[Stuyvesant]

Ah yes, a regrettable fact that Mr. Nimoy has passed away. Funny, I obviously don't know the man personally, nor am I really much of a Star Trek fan, but it's still sad to hear that he died.

On to the update, I see that Shredder met his match. Reminds me of an old song, back from the era when MTV played actual music videos, which retold the story of the three little pigs, with the ending being that the piggies called Rambo who blew the big bad wolf away. I vaguely recall a claymation video...

Can't say I'm sad to hear that the Turtles were all but wiped out in the process.

 

[volksmarschall]

Isn't there a written rule in war that one is not supposed to fight a land war in Asia?

 

[Stuyvesant]

Isn't there a written rule in war that one is not supposed to fight a land war in Asia?

I believe that very rule (narrowly defining 'Land war in Asia' as 'Land war in Vietnam') was quoted by the Confederate president not three updates ago.

 

[Ben Kenobi]

Can't say I'm sad to hear that the Turtles were all but wiped out in the process.

Someone didn't watch the movie.

 

[Ben Kenobi]

Act V: Leviticus
Chapter 8: The Big Goodbye
Part 11: Exact words.

It's been awhile since we've had a job. Feels nice to get back in the saddle again.

Where are we going, Faceman?

I hope it's not deserts again. I hate deserts. At least we have some time to prepare. Have you seen BA?

I saw him reading something. BA? Whatcha reading?

“We live in the flicker -- may it last as long as the old earth keeps rolling! But darkness was here yesterday.”

That sounds depressing. Why can't you read happy books, BA?

I would argue that our levity is inversely proportional to our general state of being, Faceman.

I think he means that, "suffering is good for the soul".

Precisely so, Murdoch.

Have you heard about our mission, BA?

Not yet.

Alright fellas. Listen up. Only going to say it once. We've got our mission and it's a big one.

Who are we invading now?

Who's paying us? Is it the Rebels again?

Questions. Questions. Let me just pull the maps. All will be revealed in time.

 

[Nikolai]

Another French war, eh? Sneaky.

 

[Ben Kenobi]

Yes. I'm also going to try to fix up the pics from before sometime this month. I'm tired of the blank links but haven't had time.

Also will take suggestions for a subtitle which I'll put on the first post. Currently it's "Deo Vindice, A Victorian Dixie Adventure," starring the Dukes of Hazzard.

 

[Stuyvesant]

Someone didn't watch the movie.

Considering my opinion on the worth of TMNT, I'd say that was rather obvious, no?

Wait. Annam has claims on Saigon? Uh-oh, you're getting awfully close to the Vietnamese quagmire... Not to mention the Pathet Lao and Khmer Rouge. A fun time will be had by all, I'm sure.

 

[Ben Kenobi]

No comment that it's Annam? We're warring with Annam which will trigger war with France. BTW, the description in part 2 of chapter 8 is exactly what's going to happen. We just had a little Spanish side adventure...

France owns all of Thailand, so we're at war for the remainder of Indochina + North Africa, plus some other small colonies in Africa.

 

[Ben Kenobi]

Act V: Leviticus
Chapter 8: The Big Goodbye
Part 12: Elementary my dear Data

So who exactly are you?

I still can't believe Shredder's dead.

Yeah, next we'll find out that it was just some weird clone or something.

You wanted my name? I'm John Rambo.

Hey! I've heard of you. Star of "Above the Law". I'm your biggest fan, ever!

Erm? That was...

No, let me shake your hand. You were fantastic. A true martial artist!

You've got me mixed up with...

Why don't we just head home, Leo?

The problem is we have no way to get back, Raph... it was Shredder's portal that brought us here.

Hey, have you had true New York style pizza, Mr. Rambo?

No.

Oh. I bet he prefers Chicago Style, Mike.

Why were you out here anyways, Mr. Rambo?

Just... Call me Rambo. I. Have a mission here. A mission that I was born for. To restore honor to the fallen...

You were in the military?

Yes. I was a green beret.

They are all dead and I'm the last one left. I couldn't get back in time to save them.

So you came here? Back in time to defeat your enemies?

Yes.

Hey, sounds like our kinda mission, Leo?

Deep dark jungle. Bad guys lurking around every corner.

Crazed Albino Robots.

Yep, totally our style of adventure! We're in!

 

[Enewald]

Doesn't Indochinese culinary tradition involve eating turtles?

 

[Stuyvesant]

For all that's holy, please don't bring in Steven Se... No, I can't do it. Can't utter the unspeakable name... <Shudders> Let's just leave it at Rambo and the annoying turtles. Is a burst of friendly fire from Rambo's trusty M-60 too much to ask for?

Doesn't Indochinese culinary tradition involve eating turtles?

Well lookie there at the cute little feller! All covered in colorful seasoning! Yum! Technically a soft shell turtle, but you gotta make do with what you have.

Final question: are you sure that's Data? Going by the crazed look at the overall evil vibe, I suspect it might be Lore (evil twins FTW).

 

[Nikolai]

That doesn't look like Data, I believe it must be his twin.

 

[Ben Kenobi]

It's obviously a complete... mystery.

/Pulls shades.

 

[Stuyvesant]

It's obviously a complete... mystery.

/Pulls shades.

/Stu involuntarily kicks in with that part of Won't Get Fooled Again.

 

[Ben Kenobi]

Hi guys. Hurt my right hand. Next update may be delayed. Splinted up.

 

[Stuyvesant]

Pulled those shades too hard, eh? That's why you're supposed to leave it to the carrot-top professionals.

Sorry to hear you hurt yourself: splints does not sound good. Take care and get well.