I often get this dilemma but I only start to think about it now. There's no decrease relation or send insult. How do I decrease the relation to be small enough not to get extra stab hits?
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Intrigue missions. Try to smear the reputation of the enemy ruler, if you're caught and captured/executed, your relations suffer.
Edit: or continuously offer alliances or demand tribute. Every time they reject, you lose 5 or 10 relations, I don't remember. You'll want to be at less than +100 relations to avoid the stab hit for war.
Edit: or continuously offer alliances or demand tribute. Every time they reject, you lose 5 or 10 relations, I don't remember. You'll want to be at less than +100 relations to avoid the stab hit for war.
Repeatedly requesting Trade Access and cancelling it when you get it can net you -25 relation a month. Probably the fastest way.