de Forez

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Well, I was a bit inactive the last time, but got back and thought about writing an AAR. I could of course continue my last ones, but two of them I lost the notes (or better I don't want to spend one or two days searching) and one I would have to find out which of the twenty versions of CK on my PC is the right one and then still have to update the version. But the Bohemian one will continue, I just don't know when. I have ended Bohemia a guide to success now.

Why Forez? It has some nice position with France on the one and Germany on the other side. Also one province is French, one German. This will make it possible to avoid wars. And I hate wars.

I also did play some other minors before, and all were too easy, though I always play VH/Furious. First was Urbino, and I got Duke in a war after 100 years of peace. In another 50 years I was King of Italy, Burgundy, Germany etc. Then there was Evreux. I got Duke of Normandy when the old Duke got King of England. This was in 1100. Too easy. Then the county of Abourd. I got Duke of the Gascogne when the Duke of Aquitaine took France. Too easy again.

The only hard choice was between Forez and Rosello. But I lost with Rosello in 1075 since the French King has a claim. Would be a bit too short AAR then.

This has to do with the houserules:

1.) No starting of war. If I want to get a county, this has to be done by marriage. If I get attacked I may only force my enemy to yield a claim on my land, but not take land myself. Yeah, I broke this rule in Chapter VI. But it was the only way to prevent the French holding Burgundy forever. And I broke it a bit earlier when I took the title Duke of Provence from Provence because I misclicked as I wanted them to give up their claims. No, honestly that happened to me.

2.) Assassinations are allowed, but only by killing the one person I want and with all consequences.

3.) Salic Primogeniture as Count, Salic Gavelkind as Duke and Semisalic Gavelkind as King.

4.) No marriage outside of a corridor. Northern Italy and Switzerland are ok, as well as Duchy of Bourgougne and Toulouse in France. Everything else will not be married, even if she is the only daughter and has stats of 10/10/10/10.

5.) No clear first marriages (Poitou and Swabia are out by rule 4, but Provence isn't). If I want to play these lands I start with them and not with Forez.

6.) No feudal contract. This one is gamey IMO as you get +1 loyalty "for free".

7.) No cheating.

Ok, now that we have October I rewrite this first post to clarify a few things. The AAR is more or less narrative. As I have quite a lot of time actually you can expect one update per day. This might change over the days, but at the moment I could write three or four as well, I just don't have enough story to tell for that and I don't think anyone would like to read five thousand words per day in this AAR.

I did a few things the houserules would have prevented, but nothing has helped Forez thus far and they fit into the story.

I think about including a list of characters and a short description a bit later. Maybe this will help with the story.

Of course, feel free to comment, even if you are at a point in the past I'll be glad to talk about it.

We'll see about the characters later, but here's a timeline that might come handy. Actually it will in later stages where we have going on more than one timeline in one chapter.

Chapter I: 1066-1138. Mostly gameplay, some wacky jokes. Yeah, that's it. The story makes no sense at all and some of the jokes might be a bit insulting. But that's my kind of humour. I think you can live with it.

Chapter II: 1138-1149. Still more gameplay, still strange jokes. Not that different from Chapter one, except changing point of views.

Chapter III: 1149. A bit more narrative than the earlier ones.

Chapter IV: 1153-1165. Narrative, point of view is Bertrand de Forez except for one short part.

Interlude I: 1165. POV: Crows.

Interlude II: 1185. POV: Peasants, crows.

Chapter V: Actually I planned this to be something else than it turned out to be as I had (and have as I write this) no access to the save. So basically it's narrative of parts I always wanted to include but hadn't fit the story. Well, except for Part I that is. Parts III, V, VI, VII, IX and X are main story.

Timelines: Part I, to be told.

Part II to be told. (both need the mainstory from Chapter VI to make sense, then you'll see when they play)

Part III and V: 1166, POV: Haldor de Barres, main story.

Part IV: 1167-1169, POV: Auctorial, Comedy update.

Part VI: 1166, POV: Auctorial, main story.

Part VII: 1166, POV: first Almerich von Chiemgau, then Haldor de Barres, main story.

Part VIII: continuation of Part IV, comedy update.

Part IX and X, 1167 POV: Haldor de Barres, main story

Interlude: 1175, POV: Richwara von Chiemgau (yeah, thought she would deserve one after all)

Chapter VI: 1185. This was planned to be Chapter V but as I had no save I couldn't go on. This is were we currently are and I don't know exactly yet, but I think it will be the last of this AAR. Dunno, but I don't really like the story anymore and have already completed my goals. Yeah I know, that's weak, but hey, at least I won't abandone this (at least I hope so).

Part I: Main story, POV: Ermesinde de Forez (yes, she's the new main character)

Part II: Main story, POV: Ermesinde de Forez.

Part III: As Jimbo said Gerardo's role should be enlarged he got his own little story within the Chapter. POV is of course Gerardo de Forez.

Part IV: Currently newest part. Once again POV: Ermesinde de Forez. Main story.



Oh, and if you wonder. I write with this colour when I write as the narrator. Makes it easier for me to answer in and out of character.

 

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Chapter I​

Part I​

This is the count. He managed to get Realm Duress without much of a realm and without any vassals. As he has only a daughter, and it is not that clear he will ever get a son, the line will probably be inherited by his brother.

This is me, Guillaume, soon to be majesty. I'm the real head behind this family. My brother just made me chancellor, which he thinks is absolutly useless. But he will see, a chancellor has more power than he thinks.


The first years are always a bit unimportant, as you don't get any courtiers and have not married. Well, at least I have not and my brother did not manage to get his wife pregnant. So the only important thing is that the German King is an evil opressor and takes more than half of our money.

For some undefined reason I am not able to be illoyal even if I want, and so can't just run to France instead of paying the King.

I wonder what the Germans do with all the money. Probably they have to pay the loans they took to change the colour of their Kingdom on every map from this vomit green (it really looks like this, my cat once ate a poisonous food in the neighbourhood, his vomit had exactly this colour) to yellow, which then again made them pay Apulia for getting red instead of yellow so nobody thinks they are a German vassal.

A count of some place nobody in Forez has ever heard of and the brother of our neighbour wanted to marry my sister, but one was to unimportant and the other was not even a German. At least he understood "no".

On 30th of October we had to let Ida, my sister, go, as the count of Savoy wanted to marry her and had no kids right now. This would make her sons counts of Savoy, and bring some prestige into the family. The count just didn't ask before as he had a wife, which died in labour with their first child.

It seems Arnaud found out how to get kids... after his first daughter.

Since he found out he follows a strict one child policy. One child per year.

I marry Jehanne. Eldest daughter of the count of Geneve. This will make my kids heirs to Geneve if Jehanne's brother dies.

No I have nothing to do with it. My brother wanted me to and I have to do what my brother tells me, don't I?

Well, I have to do with this one though. But it was an accident. How should I know this little rat in front of my horse was in fact my nephew?

Two dead, two still to go. Poor guy, he will never know what he missed.

 

[Veldmaarschalk]

Interesting start, especially your house rules

Artaud probably has realm duress because he before 1.05 had 'intestal worm'

If you want a short AAR try county of Aversa

 

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You're right, I forgot about the intestinal worm. Still strange, but it doesn't really hurt.

Aversa is a typo, right? I did not find such a county.

 

[Veldmaarschalk]

You're right, I forgot about the intestinal worm. Still strange, but it doesn't really hurt.

Aversa is a typo, right? I did not find such a county.

Yes, sorry. I meant Richard of Aversa, count of Capua o

 

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He is Duke, I use your Alternative Culture Kingdom and Duchy Mod. But he still get's excommunicated all the time, he is right now.

 

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Part II 1075-85​

The Germans want to use my troops for a war in Pommerania. I wonder why they should need them, but they probably just used mobilize all. As I first said no they got a claim on Forez. Not really good, but the King has no real reason to attack us anyway. Pommerania get's crushed by Saxony soon afterwards.

I get ill. Not the best thing to do, this costs us money.

My second son Oton dies aged two while my brother's son still lives, truely unfair, isn't it? At least I still have Pons.

Arnaud get's depressive, well then kill yourself, will make it easier for me.

I find a miracle healer and pay him. Luckily it works. More Money!

Arnaud marries his eldest daughter to the heir of Auvergne. Soon afterwards she get's midas touched. Damn, think about all the money she could make.

NOOOO! The wife of the count of Bern died and he is fast getting no sons. But this won't disrupt my plans. My son will be count of Bern, and if I have to try it ten times in a row. They will blame my brother anyway.

The first would break the first rule, the second would be crazy. I never wanted to be a German vassal anyway.

It feels good being free.

It doesn't feel good being killed by Germans, so we just run to the French for help.

So that's what you got from trying to force me into war. I'm not your bitch anymore, I'm Phillipe's!

For some odd reason not his son but his grandson is his heir. Good for me anyway.

And so my brother dies due to his "old" age. This was only the official version of course. The other one, well it wouldn't be unofficial if I actually spoke about it, would it.


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Guillaume went to the new count of Forez with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Milord," he tried to speak as nice as he could to his nephew. He wasn't a great friend of his brother, but there was a good reason to be a friend of his nephew. Maybe he could get some more influence in the court. "would you please write your name under this contract? I already have done it, only we need your handsign."
"Let me read it first"
"Why? I already have done that, you just need to sign it. It will be good for the county..."
"I've never seen my father very much. But I still can remember what he told me every day we saw... 'Never believe your uncle. He will try to steal your titles whenever he can'"
Guillaume murmured something, but then gave the paper to Tiérri.
"So in fact you want me to sign a contract that makes you the true ruler of the county while I still sit on the throne?"
"Well, eh... but your sons will still rule!"
"Like I would? That's not what I call 'rule'. Do you think I'm mad?! No intelligent person would ever do that! And now go, I can't see your stinking face anymore. And don't even try to speak to me about such a thing again"
Guillaume went out speaking to himself quietly, "Abritary little bastard, I will get my revenge."

A courtier of the French arrived and wanted to talk to Guillaume, who had done the diplomacy in the last years, even though he in fact was not chancellor but steward. Of course nobody let him and so he went to the count himself. He seemed quite surprised that the count was a nine year old kid, so nobody told him Arnaud was dead.

"His lord, the King of all French wants you to give him men to fight in the Bretagne."
"Why does he need my troops for that? He could do this only with his own troops too. If he really needs more men he shall use them of Aquitaine, they have more than we anyway. Also remember my father got a French vassal as he didn't want to go to war."
"So your answer is no?"
"Exactly"

1084 was absolutly boring. Nothing really happened in Forez. But one thing I wanted to add but couldn't as I have some stupid F-lock and it destroys half of my screenies and even made me play two years again, we 'discovered' a claim on Nevers.

 

[Jestor]

Add domain only by marriage?
Man oh man that's insane.

 

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Probably, but it's the only way to keep me from taking the whole world in 1250...

 

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Interesting goals and a nice way of achieving it.
Altough, I agree a bit insane.

 

[Veldmaarschalk]

You need to have patience to achieve your goals that way, but with the attitude of your ruler this might indeed become a little AAR

 

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Singleton Mosby: Thanks, but these goals aren't that hard. You just need more time to get big, which is okay if you can write about it.

Veldmaarschalk: I hope I can stay away from any war by changing the liege with every opportunity. The only problem is that both Kings have a claim on Forez.

I will update this evening, but then won't be here till saturday at least.

 

[stnylan]

Interesting perspective. It's not that often these things get seen from a courtier's viewpoint.

 

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Part III: 1085-1095.
​

"Sir, you wanted me to tell you if there is any important thing happening in the court. Today a newsletter arrived. I have a copy with me. Every country in the whole known world is rated every ten years in prestige."
"And why didn't we get it ten years ago?"
"We were too unimportant."
"So now it changed and we got a better reputation? I knew it."
"Erm, that's how you can call it."
Guillaume now took the copy himself. A list of countries with a rating from 0 to any number you could think of was placed on it. Only nine countries were on it, obviously the most important.

"Wow, we suck."
"Yeah, that's the reason we got the letter. We're last place. Even the pagans in Finland are more important than us..."

Tiérri 'discovered' a claim on Auxerre. He should learn Geography, if he fakes something, it should be at least something usefull.

Lucky bastard.

Twice in a row.

My nephew wasted no time in getting a wife when he got old enough. Problem is only that she has three brothers, so getting Dauphine Viennois this way would be mad, not even he would be so stupid.

I just got Tiérri's test results. Now I have it black on white, he sucks. He failed in every class except 'how to waste money'.

This is my son's wife. Her kids will be heirs to Gevaudan. And so the family get's more and more land with every generation.

He really is like his father. Needs two years to get her pregnant.

That's my boy. A grandson. Who is heir to Gevaudan. Can't get much better.

Now I end my dear readers this decade. Nothing really important happened in the last two years, the typhoid plague in Forez ceased to be, but still goes on in Lyon, now for fifteen years at least. Someone should tell them what hygiene is. We have built a mine in Forez right after the plague was taken down, so now we get as much money as some years before. I again was appointed chancellor as my son is the better steward. I now will end this episode by showing you a map of our lands in 1095.

North of ous there are the bastards of Burgundy. Luckily I got Arnaud to get a direct vassal of France rather than one of them, otherwise we would be dead right now. The former Duke took all the lands of his vassals for his own sons, so the current Duke just rules over his brothers.

West of us is Auvergne. Absolutly unimportant for us, diplomatic relations are close to non-existant.

Southwest is Gedauvan, my grandson is heir to it.

Southern are Viviers and Dauphine Viennois. Vivier is a bishopric, but Tiérri has married a d'Albon, he only got three daughters and there are plenty of sons and grandsons in front of a son he maybe never gets. I told him so but he didn't believe me back then.

Eastern of us is Geneve, my son still is heir to it though the count has two sons. Both come after my son and my grandson.

Other important counties are Savoy, I think my nephew rules it right now, though I never was really interested in it, and Carcasonne, the count married Arnaud's daughter. His other daughter is wife of the Duke of Galicia, but last time she wrote me a letter she told me heathens were running over their land and she might come home in some time.

 

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Stynlan: Welcome on board. Hope you like it thus far.

On a sidenote I have included one new rule in the first post.

Oh, and I just had to share this:

A Kingdom of Wales and a Kingdom of Ireland in 1095. Though the Duke of Leinster hasn't created the Kingdom yet.

 

[stnylan]

Well at least the succession is now assured.

Oh, a rules clarification You say no starting of a war. If you find yourself at war not through your own choice (say because someone has declared war on you) and you have a claim (either through event or earlier inheritance) might you pursue that then?

 

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Stynlan: Welcome on board. Hope you like it thus far.

On a sidenote I have included one new rule in the first post.

Oh, and I just had to share this:

A Kingdom of Gwynned and a Kingdom of Ireland in 1095. Though the Duke of Leinster hasn't created the Kingdom yet.

A Kingdom of Ireland this early? :wacko:


Good AAR so far.

 

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Part IV: 1095-1105​

Tiérri 'discovered' another claim, this time to Forcalquier. Wow, first time the fake wasn't absolutly useless.

Next years not much happened, Lyon lost the plague, someone actually showed them how to wash themselves. We built some things, but that's it.

Then in 1100 the worst possible happened. I died by old age. I was fifty!

"God you bastard, that wasn't fair. If I get up to you I'll kick your ass!"

Next thing I remember was a bad hangover and me lying somewhere on the ground.

"So where am I? Is this heaven?" takes out checklist "lakes of fire, demons, bad smell, endless suffering, hot. Nope, hell."

An old man came up to me, he wore strange clothes and didn't look like any human I had ever seen.

"Good day, I am the Devil of the 20th century hell."
"20th? But I died in 1100!"
"Oh, so you're one of the twelvers, that happens sometimes. Then you won't know me, I'm Vladimir Iljitsh Uljanov, but you can call me Lenin. I rule this hell."
"You are the devil? I thought only demons can be devils."
"I am, these demons you are talking about are just the more evil persons. You see the number on my head? This is our status, it shows how many people died because of you. You have a three, but one was your nephew and one your brother, so this makes 21 in our system. Mine is of course much higher."
"So how did you get to rule it?"
"When I came here, the workers were under suppression. Those evil monarchistic bastards of Austria and Germany ruled the whole land by force. Then I came and kicked them out of here, now I rule in the name of the workers."
"Who are those workers you're talking about."
"First the word meant all peasants that worked in factories, some kind of manufactory, today it just means the morons that let me rule. There was some good time until another major war. Of course there is no such thing as time or space in hell, so the only way you can say years passed by is by the newcomers, like you. Then there was some mad Austrian trying to take over hell from us. He came here with millions of other Germans. He built an army and marched over the whole hell, but what he didn't know is that our so called bodies are in fact only imagination. Those lakes are some good stuff. He tried to force us with his non-existant tanks to let him rule, but I solved the problem"
"How?"
"You know Poland?"
"You mean the Kingdom? I have heard about it."
"No, I mean the state, but it's not that much difference anyway. We stole the idea from 18th century hell. They built this state so every other state can annex it, oppress them and then let them go free and unify again. As you can't die anymore, this doesn't really hurt. And everybody is happy. But now you have to go, just follow this line, it will bring you back in time."
"Thank you!"

So now I had to go all the way back from 20th century hell to the 12th century one. And as those hells are infinite in space, such a walk sucks. But finally after hundrets of years, I arrived.

A man on a horse came to me, he looked small but really evil and had a really high number on his head.
"So you are one of the newcomers? I was told you'd be rather important? I am the devil of this hell. I am Dshinghis Khan."
"Sorry, but I don't know your name."
"You don't? So you're one of these early twelvers? Well, let's just say me and my family took nearly all of the world, but my heirs were morons and lost it all again."
"No, I really don't know you. I want just to get to France."
"Oh, France you say? Go just west, you can't miss it anyway. But I smell you are important, we shall speak again."
Suddenly the guy dissolved. Strange persons they got in hell.

Another long walk later I met another person. All were strange, but now I already knew that high numbers were good and most of them were the ones with power. So this guy had to be not that important, but he called himself Friedrich I Barbarossa and I let him think he was important. These lakes really do nothing good to your psyche you could see that by him.
"...I am the King of Germany." Sure you are, and I am the King of France. Poor fellow really believed this.
"Your majesty, if I may be so bold, when your number is so low, why are you King and not someone else?"
"I'm not only King, I am the Emperor of the HRE!"
"The Holy Roman Empire you mean? I can't believe you that."
"Okay, it's called Unholy Roman Empire nowadays, but where's the difference in that anyway. You wanted to know why I am Emperor? Because everybody knows me"
"I can't talk, I have to go to France right now." He didn't tell me everybody knew him only since he died in a river somewhere in the pampa.

So another walk later I came to Paris. It looked exactly like the non-hell Paris, only with more prostitution and fightings. Nothing could shock me now. They let me to the King, who was a person I knew!

"Guillaume my friend, you're here? You remember old Hugues?"
"How could I forget you? You were King of France when I died! How did you get here? You haven't even a number!"
"Arnaud, your brother. He knew we were friends, so he let me be thrown out of heaven. He is some kind of high Angel in heaven. But it's nice here anyway."
"So what's the problem?"
"The problem is that Arnaud has contact to his son! Tiérri wants to take over France with help of his father. He will screw up history! A live of peace and happiness will come over the world!"
"And what do I have to do with this all?"
"You can get into contact with your son. You have to talk to him, he must stop Tiérri or the good guys will take over the world!"
"Not if I can stop him. I will go as fast as I can!"




Somewhere in the woods around Geneve, Pons de Forez, count of Geneve was hunting with his marshall. A fever struck his marshall down and as they were far away from every village, they could not move anywhere.
"You can't die Hermann! Not now, not this young." Pons knew his marshall was already 45, but his words were more said for himself than for Hermann. Suddenly Hermann was totally clear again.
"Pons, I am your father."
"Noooo! I mean, you can't be, my father died three years ago!"
"So it's already 1103? But let's not talk about the time, I am the ghost of your father. I am talking through the body of your marshall."
"Father? You are a ghost? Then you are an angel and come from heaven too me?"
"Erm, close. But I have not much time, you must kill Tiérri, or the world we know will cease to be! You must stop him! I will come back sometime in the next years." Hermann broke down. Later he was perfectly normal again and didn't know what happened. He still thought it was the 24th of February, not the 26th.

Years passed by, and I found out my grandson Alberic was already Count of Gedauvan. This will make our situation easier. Maybe if Pons failes, I will still have Alberic to rule.

"See father! I will attack Forez and kill Tiérri in battle! Like you wanted!"
"No!" Suddenly the ghost Guillaume appeared. Pons would never really feel comfortable with his father's way of speaking to him, but it got better. Some years ago he nearly fell off his horse because of the ghost, today he was just a bit stressed. "You can't do that, Arnaud will know. He is evil and too strong for us. You must use a dagger in the night, there is no other way to kill Tiérri"

And so this episode ends. I hope you liked it my dear readers, I certainly had fun remembering this time.

 

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Stynlan: I have clarified the rule now. You weren't Demi Mod yesterday, were you?

East_emnet: Thanks. Yeah, I thought this was really strange, as well as the huge Byzantium I have right now.

 

[Veldmaarschalk]

A weird, but funny AAR

But you should probably change this

Part IV: 1095-1005