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    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning
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Emperor Ike

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Fear and Loathing in Egypt​
The Great Whale hunt

Now that Egypt was secured from the threats of war and devastation Jawhar decided to to organize an Great Whale Hunt for the nobility. 200 ships were prepared in Alexandria for this event and all the highly ranked nobles were invited. The route for the Whale hunt was from Alexandria to the Atlantic Ocean where the whales roam and it would last 2 years. Wait a minute? Whale hunt? Two years? What kind of rat bastard psychotic would come up with that, at this hour? How can I even write an AAR of an session I wasn't present? I don't know what happened because I was sailing the open seas while drinking Singapore Slings on the patio section of the ship. Or do I? But I can write an AAR because the nuts and peas don't know what happened. Holy moley, that is an excellent idea. So let me get started: "On a lonely night on the planet Dune the M'uadib Abbasid read a book about the sandworms and how to control them. The night was cold and the spice was flowing when the bats attacked trough the windows. They were after the Holy Grail! And they wouldn't stop before they could steal it for their weird pagan rituals. So M'uadib took out...." Wait. Which era are we on? Era after Middle Ages? Ah so Dune hasn't been reached yet. Right, better not tell the nuts about the future yet. They would go crazy. Now let me see, no Napoleon just yet. What happened last session? Oh right the person in charge of Egypt declared war against Al-Andalus and nearly got Egypt destroyed by the vultures. So I can make a story about that. Yes and it shall have James Purefoy as Mighty G, Lyndsey Marshal as King of Men (KoM must have been orchestrating the actions), Nicholas Woodeson as Anders and Simon Woods as Me. Sounds about right and it shall have an ending so terrible that none has ever seen something like that. Now where is my attorney?



Egypt

We were somewhere around year 1439 when Ali bin Abu took over Egypt in the absence of Jawhar who had gone to Persia to buy some dates. Jawhar had been gone for months and some thought that he had been killed while others still bealived in his return. This era was known as the era of great misunderstanding in Egypt. Ali bin Abu was an opportunist and while he had done good deeds for Egypt too his ambitions were far too great for him to be an great leader. So he hired advisers, these advisers werent better that bin Abu and together they made quite a mess in Egypt. They went on and declared an war upon the most greatest ally and long friend of Egypt, Al-Andalus. For what gain many asked, well bin Abu and his vile group of advisers claimed that the reason was to gain Corsica or as the Egyptians say Forssa. An island that has no important function for no one.


bin Abu administration managed to almost destroy the whole fleet of Egypt and the whole nation annexed and occupied by rest of Europe. Well they managed to occupy Corsica but the Europeans managed to attack Egypts mainland. They occupied a great number of provinces there. Many thought that the end had come but the bin Abu group was sure of victory. But little did they know that their actions had reached Jawhar who was allready returning from his trip. Boy he was furious. He swore to kill bin Abu and hunt down his friends. And that is what he did. When he returned to Alexandria he found bin Abu covered in weird make up and drinking wine. Jawhar took his sword and thrust it in to bin Abu killing him almost immediately.


Jawhar asked around about the recent events and learned that bin Abu had hired an Mongol witch who was now hiding in Cairo. Jawhar traveled to Cairo to meet this witch and to slay her. In Cairo Jawhar found the witch and oh she was an ugly one, as the Mongol witch usually were. So Jawhar did the same thing to her with his sword and killed her. But when the witch died an black cloud rose from her mouth and flew out of the window towards Mongolia. What ever this was the witch was gone from Egypt and Jawhar made an white peace with the Andalusians and said that he was sorry that this has happened.


Oh yeah the terrible ending. Well, well an ending so terrible that none has seen it before? I can only thing of one thing that would be so terrible. And that thing is frikin' terrible. Even more terrible than those bats flapping their wings and drooling outside of the window. You know what i am talking about? You don't then you should go and watch A Serbian Film. Man that movie gives you weird vibes and definitly you will lose your dreams. Or if it doesn't you are an psychotic. But it is terrible. I swear!
 
Last edited:

King of Men

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From what I understand of a cursory wikipedia reading it's a ripp-off of Condorcet's paradox with more sciency-schmancy jargon slapped on top of it.
Arrow's formulation is more general, and moreover demonstrates that it holds for any voting procedure whatsoever, while Condorcet only showed that such situations can exist.
 

Gollevainen

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NOTHING EVER GOES AS PLANNED

Here by the sea and sand, blood had painted the beach red and the new world welcomed its venturer’s with gory sight of pain, death and war.
Not a pleasant handshake from the fate and fortune… Certainly not a mirror to the promises that had made so many brave young man to join
the King’s household guards and shire’s regiments. To seek only swift death in the hands of the unspeakable acridities from the savages that reigned here. Many felt
betrayed. Many felt shame. Many felt anger and few cried for blood. Are we not Vikings? Aren’t we the ones coming across the seas to rage and pillage?
Well, nothing ever goes as planned…

The spirit of the Dônmark and England was tested there, by the sea and the sand.

Charles felt that he had chosen the right path with the Royal Navy. Under the white ensign, it felt bit more prosperous in terms of the future… and its length. If he would
have stayed in the court, stayed in the succession, his fate would have brought him eventually to the new lands, along with the regiments and face the cruelty of the
savages. Charles knew that his will wouldn’t have allowed him to betray his men and seek safety behind the lines. He would have stood there to the last man. To the last stand.
Such death didn’t pet his sense of pride. He didn’t harbor day-dreams of hero’s funerals and weeping wives and daughters when the royal body would have been brought to St.
Valta’s cathedral. No He always felt he belonged to the abyss. …To the blue depths of the ocean.
As a captain of the ship, he felt his heart was in right place, despite the ill gossips in London that felt unjust that the royal family’s own military prodigy was not there
among the brave lads of the army and fighting the red-menace. But instead he was a captain, sitting in the comfort of the admiralty in Stockholm. Charles had pondered the
opportunity to join the red-squadron, which was given the mission to circum-navigate the known world and beyond… but weighed against the captainship of the Royal
Flagship HMS Berwick, it didn’t felt so challenging.
There were constant wars in the east, the Royal Navy was commanded to the Baltic to be ready if need rose.

Still… In the known world, no one had put a navy so grandiose to the sea to rival Royal Navy and the likelihood of naval battle so important to determine faith of Dôn’s
England was something of cabin boys wild fantasies and old salts fond jests. Sometimes… sometimes Charles had toyed with the idea of taking the Royal Gog’s into
his command... ship those armies to the new land that were needed to crush the red savages to the position more suited to their heathen minds. to servants and subjects of
Christian lords.

Charles had spoken many times with the captains and admiral of the transport fleet and the stories weren’t encouraging for the sake of one’s morale and will-power. Ship
cheerful youngsters full of adventure-lust and dreams across the great ocean, whose own miseries couldn’t even tear that enthusiasm down…
And the ferry their cold corpses in return-voyage back to England…
Charles felt the anger and despair among the noble sailors and mariners. The hopelessness mixed with primal rage and revenge. They even said, that with the next
trip, they would raise black sails to their ships… and orders to the carpenters and ship wrights to curve dragon shaped figure-heads.
Such ideas would never get pass the court and its bureaucrats, but it meant lot to the English and Danish mariners and swordsmen. There had been blood spilled by the sea
and sand… the beach had been painted red. And the plan was to save that gory feast for the new land until the army would have reached the hills and plains. The new
thoughts in the army, the new ideas have made the people lost their roots, lost their century’s long traditions.
It was time to bring the wrath of Vikings to the savages of the new land… at least that was the plan.
But nothing is planned by the sea and the sand.
 

Irsh Faq

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Ethiopia 1423-1443 - a(nother) gameplay AAR

My 9-9-9 god-king Kaleb II lasted through most of this time (not making him a general did wonders for his longevity) and his heir is now a decent Emperor as well. I've continued colonizing along the African coast and are now only two provinces away from Cape, which Ethiopia has agreed will be its border with the Republic of the Kongo to the west. Western expansion, in other words, is nearly wrapped up and I hope to finish this coming session. In the East, Ethiopia and Punjab reached an agreement regarding the partition of Oman, the last of the infamous piratical emirates that so harassed the ancient Ethiopians. The reinvigorated Solomonid Empire led the military destruction of Oman and decisively shattered both their fleet and their army, and I have taken my part of the spoils (most importantly, my Border Dispute-given core on their COT). No more pirates in Arabia! In India Ethiopia and Gujarat have established friendly relations. Time will tell how deeply Ethiopia gets involved in the politics of Asia - for now we have only conducted diplomacy with the powers of the Indian Ocean, and have maintained a splendid isolation from the more distant nations of the furthest East.

Speaking of splendid isolation, that isolation is currently enforced by the Imperial Navy, the third-largest fleet in the world and the largest in the Indian Ocean. Ethiopia's 30 carracks (up from 5 in 1423!) are only exceeded by England's 32, in the Atlantic, and Qin's 38 on the Yellow Sea. Against other powers than these two, the fleet ensures the Empire's independence and allows Ethiopia to maintain a few island possessions unconnected to the Ethiopian mainland without fear of opportunistic pirates.

A strong navy will continue to be necessary for Ethiopia unless by some unlucky fate I lose my core lands in Arabia. Until that happens, with a third of my cores separated from the rest by a straits, a navy to protect access between them cannot be neglected.

The Imperial Army has not been neglected either; although it is still slightly small by European standards, we now boast the largest army of any ROTW nation and even have surpassed a few of the smallest European armies. We also have Ottoman tech soldiers, which are among the best for this time period, and land tech 8 which is a tie for the world's highest.

Finally, the Solomonid Empire is currently adventuring in Ceylon with the purpose of extending its benevolent protection over the Tamil people, who have been unlucky in their wars with mainland Asian powers and have lost the entirety of their once-wide domains in southern and eastern India. Alone, weak, and friendless in the world, the people of Ceylon are in dire need of help and Ethiopia, as a good citizen of the community of nations, is happy to oblige.

Ethiopia also offered help of a somewhat more consensual nature to another Indian minor, Bengal, in recovering from AI-induced trauma, but as Bengal is having trouble finding and keeping a player (the new perm won't be here this week), who knows what will happen to them.

On the bad side of things, African exotic goods (slaves and ivory) are currently the least valuable in the world.

In extra-Ethiopian affairs, Tripoli, our neighbor to the north, in a fit of sub-induced madness attacked its former friend al-Andalus. With the return of the permanent player a white peace has been agreed on, but not before English soldiers fighting for the Andalusians sacked Alexandria, the greatest jewel in the Caliph's crown of cities!* That makes twice now that the Northern kings have added the capture of the Caliph's city to their glories; last time was several hundred years ago during CK, when King Waldemar of Denmark stormed the walls during the First Crusade.

Also of note, Tripoli, being now a noble republic, is no longer ruled by a Fatimid, although several vassals still are. Sic transit gloria mundi. From mighty rulers of the Mediterranean to Emirs of tiny vassal desert towns only protected from annexation because their realms are so poor they would drag the rest of Tripoli down.

The new rulers of Egypt have set their sights on an African Empire, a goal which they seem willing to achieve in concert with the other two African powers; time will tell whether they can recover Egypt to its former glory and surpass the deeds of the Fatimids.

Persia has seen the worse side so far of a war with Croatia and Russia aimed at rectifying the large Persian expansion into Russia that happened at the beginning of the session. So far Anatolia and the Caucasus have been occupied; the Shah's armies have, according to some reports, been retreating largely without combat. Certainly although two thirds of Persia are occupied the Shah still fields around 110 regiments of ravenous zombie warriors, most of which are fully reinforced, which means that even if he ends up losing the war, if he can continue to preserve his armies he should not have much trouble recovering.

Chile/Inca has been cut down and although still present on the map, is bankrupt, full of rebels and will likely be destroyed again as soon as the truce is up. Huron/Quebec has so far stood strong against English and Bavarian attack, slaughtering thousands upon thousands of European (mostly English) soldiers, but as they will lack a player this week further success is unlikely.

*do Caliphs wear crowns?
 

unmerged(288807)

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Man if i only felt like reading all this. Cant people just write A attacked B and X won. And post 1 screen of a 100k battle for the lolz? I mean that would be much nicer then tons of text.
 

Irsh Faq

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Man if i only felt like reading all this. Cant people just write A attacked B and X won. And post 1 screen of a 100k battle for the lolz? I mean that would be much nicer then tons of text.
Peanuts attacked players and players won. Full story at 11.

In the game, subbed Persia lost a war and then AI Persia went rampaging around.
 

Emperor Ike

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Man if i only felt like reading all this. Cant people just write A attacked B and X won. And post 1 screen of a 100k battle for the lolz? I mean that would be much nicer then tons of text.
Blasphemy!
 

oddman

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The World of 1471
As Noted Down By Remarkably Objective Andalusian Historiographers, Inspired As They Are By Divine Savegames

Yet Another Mupdate. What happened, this session? How did we fare? What's new in the mupdate?

Let us discuss these things as they pop up in the maps, shall we?

The first thing you may notice is that this page behaves less sluggishly. That is because I am now displaying 'thumbnails' (of 936 by 360 pixels), lessening the strain on Paradox' forum engine. Clicking on a map will still bring up the Excessively Detailed 5616 by 2160 picture, upon which every bloody detail is visible. Yay.

Topography

Nations, Blobbed


Nations, Unblobbed


I'm taking these two as one unit. Several things merit attention. First, the vassalization of several Rest of the World powers by Europeans: England vassalized Quebec/Huron, Croatia vassalized Bengal, and Catalunya vassalized Maya, as announced in the Treaty of Tikal.
Then there is some aggregation visible, most strikingly so in India and in Africa. Some pretty serious powers are taking root there. It's Gujarat in yellowish in India, Ethiopia in blue and Kongo in beige, both in Africa. Also notice Qin hogging the Ming provinces. Nobody saw *that* coming :rolleyes:.

Income
Average Income Per Province
Red = 1.48388333333 ducats per province per month; Green = 7.61868421053 ducats per province per month.


Whoa, innovation! Now one can actually see what the colours mean! Also notice that yellow is the exact arithmetic mean between the two extremes. A province which is bright yellow therefore has an income of about 4.5 ducats per province. Nothing shocking here; traders do excellently, large empires less so :(. It will excite few comments if I say I am eagerly waiting for my BB to go down, so I can actually use the quite respectable TE I managed to acquire.

Income per Nation
Red = 4.857 ducats per month; Green = 289.51 ducats per month.


I'm doing considerably better on this one. Croatia still wins, though.

Technology
Average Tech Level
Red = 6.6; Green = 10.2.


OK, OK, we get it. Croatia is cool. Catalunya and Ethiopia are not terribly far behind, though.

Development
Average Buildings per Province, per Nation
Red = 0.0 buildings per province; Green = 4.41379310345 buidings per province.


Fairly self-explanatory. This is pretty much an exact representation of number of provinces (more provinces = less average buildings), barring suckiness: notice AI countries with 0, count them, 0, improvements.

Buildings per Province
Red = 0 buildings per province; Green = 6 buidings per province.


The same, only not averaged over the nations.

Military
Army Size


Hello, Bavaria. Can I do something for you? Fetch your newspaper, get you a cup of coffee?

Navy Size


Wooo, Catalunya can into navy! Having done a lot of exploring, it may be worth mentioning I rolled a 5/6/6 admiral. Yay!

Culture
Cultures

...and the latest addition to the mapstravaganza :D. This should give some hints as to the outcome of the sweepstakes, even though that will be about some 30 years earlier. I'll leave it to you to guess which culture is which ;).

AAR reward: Cultural Tradition (daddy needs a new Diplomat...)
 
Last edited:

FrozenWall

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In the game, subbed Persia lost a war
The war was lost when said sub arrived, outnumbered armies, country half occupied, full war exhaustion, 1,300 mp left, no allies to call. ;) The peace was not to bad, considering a large part of lands lost were non-core Russian provs gained last war. Consolidation and ally-courting is all that is needed for a rebound.

So what happened after I left?
 

Irsh Faq

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The war was lost when said sub arrived, outnumbered armies, country half occupied, full war exhaustion, 1,300 mp left, no allies to call. ;) The peace was not to bad, considering a large part of lands lost were non-core Russian provs gained last war. Consolidation and ally-courting is all that is needed for a rebound.

So what happened after I left?
Yes, quite so; Persia started this session in a pretty unwinnable war, so loss is hardly surprising.

After you left, Persia was AIed and decided the best course of action would be to start wars against all of Tripoli, Ethiopia, Punjab and Gujarat, and the Mongol Khanate. Ethiopian and Tripolitanian troops quickly overran Arabia and the Near East and forced the AI to stop being dumb.

...well okay, only to stop being the particular brand of dumb that starts wars against 80% of its neighbors at once. More than that is beyond even us. Ethiopia looks forwards to the Blob of the East regaining its player.
 
Last edited:

Gollevainen

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Man if i only felt like reading all this. Cant people just write A attacked B and X won. And post 1 screen of a 100k battle for the lolz? I mean that would be much nicer then tons of text.
someone is in need of the gosbels of St. Jesus the Carpenter ;) eh?
 

Gollevainen

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... famous last words (and I'll take that as peanut's request for the revival of my acid-AAR bravado!) :p
 

Sid Meier

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Also notice Qin hogging the Ming provinces. Nobody saw *that* coming .
Actually no one *did* in fact see this coming, Orange Yoshi in particular was adament that me getting Ming/Unifying China was an "impossibility" that could "never happen." as well as Dano, VonR and I think Elcyion *all* apparantly advising Jodokus and King of Men that me getting all/most of Ming is a bad terrible idea.

And yet it happened anyways.

Either this says something about my persuasiveness and diplomacy or it says something about my neighbours skill ^_^

However I can say in fullest confidence that I am in fact a satiated power and that I think I hit the limit on how far I can expand and still make full use of my magistrates.
 

King of Men

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Red = 1.48388333333 ducats per province per month; Green = 7.61868421053 ducats per province per month.
Gah! Didn't your mother teach you to only quote two or three significant digits on numbers calculated by averaging over a few dozen inputs? There is a reason they are called 'significant' digits, you know; there is no way the tenth decimal place is of any possible importance in this metric.

As for Blayne's diplomacy: Anything for a quiet life that allows me to concentrate on death to Persia.
 

BlitzMartinDK

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Actually no one *did* in fact see this coming, Orange Yoshi in particular was adament that me getting Ming/Unifying China was an "impossibility" that could "never happen." as well as Dano, VonR and I think Elcyion *all* apparantly advising Jodokus and King of Men that me getting all/most of Ming is a bad terrible idea.

And yet it happened anyways.

Either this says something about my persuasiveness and diplomacy or it says something about my neighbours skill ^_^

However I can say in fullest confidence that I am in fact a satiated power and that I think I hit the limit on how far I can expand and still make full use of my magistrates.
..So you want a treaty to assure Peace in Our Time ? -or was that Chamberlain stating that Germany was satiated now with the annexation of Czechoslovakia....We'll see if the analogy is right...


edit : forgot a smiley .. :D
 

Sid Meier

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..So you want a treaty to assure Peace in Our Time ? -or was that Chamberlain stating that Germany was satiated now with the annexation of Czechoslovakia....We'll see if the analogy is right...


edit : forgot a smiley .. :D
I was quoting Bismark; which was completely true until a new Kaiser went into office and Bismark was replaced with an incompetent.

So everything is fine until I'm subbed :D

@VonR: Evenso, I have much to gain in keeping Tibet and Mongols as buffer states and several naval powers in my vicinity with a greater interest in keeping Europeans out then they do in gaining dominance and thus counter balances each other; I'm certain when the time comes a compromise can be reached like colonies in the new world around Seattle.
 
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