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Silverbow

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Cruel Britannia ruled the waves
Empire oiled by toiling slaves
White flag stained St.George Cross red
And blues sung for the countless dead


Welcome to my new AAR!

Like my two previous AARs, this will likely be image heavy and without too much ranting. And like in the Ireland game, there'll be sort of custom rules and goals:

1. Form a Celtic Empire of Britannia

2. Rule the seas (and ignore mainland). Meaning, control each island province on the map by the game's end. That's:
  • Kingdom of England
  • Kingdom of Scotland
  • Kingdom of Wales
  • Kingdom of Ireland
  • Duchy of Iceland
  • Duchy of Orkney
  • Duchy of Sjaelland
  • Duchy of Mallorca
  • Duchy of Sardinia
  • Duchy of Sicily
  • Duchy of Venezia
  • Duchy of Krete
  • Duchy of Cyprus
  • County of Rugen
  • County of Bornholm
  • County of Oland
  • County of Gotland
  • County of Saaremaa
  • County of Aland
  • County of Zeeland
  • County of Canarias
  • County of Cephalonia
  • County of Euboia
  • County of Naxos
  • County of Rhodos
  • County of Chios
  • County of Lesbos

3. Be cruel. Try to develop the cruel trait in heirs, try to get Impaler trait if possible.

4. Be a scheming bastard. Always have a scheme going.

5. Preferably no loading at all, definitely no savescumming etc.



I'll post the first real update tomorrow (as it's late already), but at least I'll show a glimpse of our illustrious leader that'll get the ball rolling:

lefay.jpg

[SUB]Self-proclaimed Queen of Mercia.[/SUB]
 
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aniuby

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Hmm ... Morgana le Fay. I wonder who will be the first target...

Good luck! I look forward to the massive bloodshed to come. And try not to get excommed+revoked due to being wrong culture, cruel, and an excessively scheming blaggard. Rule Breton Britannia, and everyone else shall be slaves!
 

Silverbow

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Hmm ... Morgana le Fay. I wonder who will be the first target...

Good luck! I look forward to the massive bloodshed to come. And try not to get excommed+revoked due to being wrong culture, cruel, and an excessively scheming blaggard. Rule Breton Britannia, and everyone else shall be slaves!
In my quick test game, I actually had possessed and lunatic as traits, but it felt a bit too off (especially lunatic). Everyone hated me, but I still didn't get revoked for the 5-6 years I played. Without the -50 from those traits, it shouldn't be that bad. And it's not like being Saxon is any better when England falls to William or Harald.
 

Silverbow

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Chapter 1​

No one really knows how the woman who called herself Morgan le Fay came to power.Contemporary literary sources claim it was via witchcraft and sorcery, and while those are surely myths, it's the only explanation given. By all accounts, Morgan was a beautiful and smart woman, but one with character flaws aplenty. The witchcraft allegations were certainly based on her fairly obvious interest in the occult matters, and hardly helped her already pretty poor reputation among her vassals. What is known is that she was the duchess of Mercia, and ruled a substantial part of England.

ck2_1511.jpg

[SUB]Morgan le Fay and her lands in fall of 1066.[/SUB]​

It is said that Morgan was trying to fabricate a claim on the English crown, but couldn't get enough supporters in time. Apparently, her well-known dishonest and cruel nature made convincing people to help her a problem...

Her vassals largely hated her, and her council, while reasonably competent, was no exception. With England invaded by both William the Bastard and Harald Hardrade, doom was approaching. The unmarried duchess seeked a strong ally, and found one by marrying prince Knud Svensen Ylving, a man with no redeeming qualities but the fact he was made the heir to the kingdom of Denmark shortly after the wedding.

ck2_1531.jpg

[SUB]Cruelty abounds in the marriage.[/SUB]​

Even though she hoped to fabricate a claim on the English crown, Morgan wasn't completely disloyal. Seeing Harold's armies moving to attack the Norsemen in York, she summoned her levies and ordered them to attempt to turn the tide of battle if possible.

ck2_1536.jpg

[SUB]A mighty force of almost 1000 men![/SUB]​

While the plot to gain a claim on the crown was going along a bit before grinding to a halt, so was the war effort. At the battle of York, Harold, for all intents and purposes, lost England.

ck2_1540.jpg

ck2_1543.jpg

[SUB]Damn that fool, now we'll have to deal with Willy-Nilly.[/SUB]​

Morgan disbanded her levies, and for the rest of war she only attempted to harass Harald's force that kept conquering her lands - she kept sending one of her two major vassals, the brave earl Eadric of Shrewsbury and his small levy to hamper Harald's progress.

ck2_1549.jpg

[SUB]The fact that she was Eadric's heir and that him dying in a battle would be quite useful certainly had nothing do with it.[/SUB]​

On 13th of April 1068 A.D., Harold surrendered to William. This cost Morgan the counties of Warwick and Leicester.

ck2_1588.jpg

[SUB]She still tried to fabricate a claim on the crown, but William was, unfortunately, loved by most of his subjects.[/SUB]​

Ever a schemer, Morgan started plotting to revoke the county of Shrewsbury from earl Eadric, who somehow miraculously survived numerous annihilations of his raiding parties during the war unscathed.

ck2_1594.jpg

[SUB]Need one supporter... which is far far harder than it seems.[/SUB]​

There was a lot of scheming and posturing in trying to get support for this scheme. Honorary titles and gifts were granted, even positions on council, but it wasn't enough. Frustrated, Morgan took to bookkeeping and sex. Leading to twins.

ck2_1616.jpg

[SUB]The son got the looks, the daughter the brains.[/SUB]​

Finally, early in 1069 A.D., the scheme came to fruition.

ck2_1622.jpg

[SUB]The fruit being a civil war.[/SUB]​

Eadric was brave, but not a smart commander. At the battle of Halton, Morgan's husband Knud crushed the earl's army, and it was just a matter of time before the county was revoked.

ck2_1626.jpg

[SUB]We had just enough men who survived to siege his castle.[/SUB]​

King William knew that Morgan was still his most powerful vassal, and did everything he could to appease her. He invited her to numerous feasts, which she always attended with a smile on her face and a dagger clenched behind her back.

ck2_1635.jpg

[SUB]He also made her the royal fowlkeeper.[/SUB]​

Finally, after a year of sieging, earl Eadric was forced to capitulate.

ck2_1643.jpg

[SUB]Still two counties in the de jure Hereford to go.[/SUB]​

The next scheme on Morgan's list was to revoke the prince-bishopric of Worchester. Another scheme that took eons to get going. And you probably know what that means.

ck2_1656.jpg

[SUB]More children, of course.[/SUB]​

Morgan was invited into a scheme by the count of Northampton to kill a bishop in Normandy. She didn't really care for either of the sides, but accepted, if only to practice her craft.

ck2_1670.jpg

[SUB]Her witchcraft. Otherwise, how could she have killed him thrice?[/SUB]​

She also held a feast in celebration of the deed, which made her more popular with her vassals.

ck2_1672.jpg

[SUB]Still not enough to be really liked, though.[/SUB]​

With plots moving like snails, Morgan turned to bookkeeping again.

ck2_1690.jpg

[SUB]Becoming a competent steward, at least.[/SUB]​

Morgan realized that revoking just the prince-bishopric would leave her with a church she had no legal right to, and thus orchestrated the murder of a local baron, as the prince-bishop was his heir. Alas, he fathered a son just in time to prevent the inheritance.

ck2_1707.jpg


Eventually, the old prince-bishop gave up the ghost. And the new one wasn't popular enough to stave off the inevitable.

ck2_1729.jpg

[SUB]Inevitable civil war, of course.[/SUB]​

During the war, Morgan gave birth to her second son, complicating the inheritance immensely.

ck2_1733.jpg

[SUB]Wait, am I not warring for a bishopric? Mwahahaha![/SUB]​
 
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Silverbow

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Chapter 2​

Prince-bishop Oswulf of Worcester proved hardly a challenge.

ck2_1737.jpg

[SUB]2 down, 1 to go - to complete the duchy of Hereford.[/SUB]​

Of course, the county was a prince-bishopric, and thus Morgan was considered an unlawful holder of the title. At least, until she took a quick, easy and dirty step to remedy that.

ck2_1741.jpg

[SUB]Dear Toddler Baron, please give me your castle or else![/SUB]​

This allowed Morgan to solve the gavelkind inheritance problem.

ck2_1742.jpg

[SUB]Newborn bishop![/SUB]​

King William was busy expanding into France, and victoriously nonetheless.

ck2_1744.jpg

[SUB]Note the pile of gold, it's a byproduct of Morgan's ambition to amass wealth.[/SUB]​

While William was successful on the battlefield, he wasn't doing so well diplomatically, and even worse health-wise.

ck2_1749.jpg

[SUB]Excommunicated with syphilis, nice...[/SUB]​

As for Morgan's next plot, she decided to complete the duchy of Hereford.

ck2_1746.jpg

[SUB]Gonna take a while.[/SUB]​

Of course, Morgan wasn't content with plotting on just one front.

ck2_1751.jpg

[SUB]Wales?[/SUB]​

Shockingly, William's bloodlust extended as far as to Wales.

ck2_1753.jpg
ck2_1760.jpg

[SUB]Really? Help the one plotting your downfall?[/SUB]​

Alas, all that excitement and celebratory lovemaking led to another inheritance problem.

ck2_1761.jpg
ck2_1763.jpg

ck2_1764.jpg

[SUB]Solved at the cost of further -20 relations with all vassals. Oh well.[/SUB]​

Morgan's grand scheme for Warwick eventually bore fruit.

ck2_1770.jpg

[SUB]Of course, the crown authority of England forbade warring for the county...[/SUB]​

The wealth was also amassed, and castle villages and wooden palisades were built across the duchy of Hereford. Morgan also used her charms to invite several top talents from across the Europe to her court, to improve her council.

The pope Alexander II loved Morgan.

ck2_1778.jpg

[SUB]Such a virtuous... father.[/SUB]​

Morgan never considered having her court chaplains suck up to the pope as a proper scheme, yet it was this action that eventually produced shocking, unexpected yet glorious result.

ck2_1779.jpg
ck2_1780.jpg

[SUB]WTF?! This can happen?! 0.o[/SUB]​

Of course, Morgan knew that a claim on the crown of England was worth little more than the scroll it was inscribed on unless backed by more than just Hereford and Denmark. She needed time and allies.

ck2_1781.jpg
ck2_1782.jpg

[SUB]Summon Greater HRE, the ultimate spell in the game.[/SUB]​

The little kaiserling was still just 12, so Morgan had to wait. But she was a patient woman.

The twins came of age, and Klaoda married. Two more years of waiting were ahead of Morgan at this point...

ck2_1786.jpg

ck2_1788.jpg

[SUB]Trying to raise cruel kids is surprisingly hard. They're both a complete failure in that regard.[/SUB]​
 

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You know, you really should have named one of your heirs Mordred or something... Oh well.

Interesting premise, I'll follow. :)
 

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I actually wanted to, but somehow I clicked the son's birth off by accident because it was twins. Is there a way to rename a character cleanly (without messing with the savefiles)?

Without editing the savefile? Not to my knowledge, no.
 

aniuby

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How many years have passed? It's probably time to switch to Elective so that you can nominate your cruelest kid as your heir - and you also won't have to worry about shacking up all your excess sons in bishoprics. Ever thought about swording your own kids to weed out the weak ones?

That quick and attractive girl is especially terrifying. I've never seen an AI-generated character with more than one positive genetic trait, and attractive female characters are the best player characters in the game. I hope she turned out as evil, sadistic, and twisted as her mom. =)
 

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Wow.

An AAR which starts off with a quote from Skyclad's Folkémon album and a character named Morgan le Fay?

I'm in.

Well-played so far, and all the best for your conquest of England (and your maritime empire!).
 

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This grabbed me. Long live the sadistic dynasty of England!
 

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How many years have passed? It's probably time to switch to Elective so that you can nominate your cruelest kid as your heir - and you also won't have to worry about shacking up all your excess sons in bishoprics. Ever thought about swording your own kids to weed out the weak ones?

That quick and attractive girl is especially terrifying. I've never seen an AI-generated character with more than one positive genetic trait, and attractive female characters are the best player characters in the game. I hope she turned out as evil, sadistic, and twisted as her mom. =)
Well, I didn't change the laws as I've already set my sights on the crown at that point, with the inheritable strong claim and all. And yeah I'd definitely prefer the second daughter, or even the first one, but I can't go absolute cognatic and elective as disliked rules isn't all that hot. I might consider it, though.

Oh, and as for killing own kids, I want my dynasty to be cruel but not that cruel. Cruel to outsiders and those who cross them, more like.

Wow.

An AAR which starts off with a quote from Skyclad's Folkémon album and a character named Morgan le Fay?

I'm in.

Well-played so far, and all the best for your conquest of England (and your maritime empire!).
Thanks! I've always liked Think Back and Lie of England, and it inspired me to try playing from England (normally, that's about the last place I'd try to play as).

This grabbed me. Long live the sadistic dynasty of England!
Thanks! If only it wasn't so damn hard to get cruel trait when you want it (and I was spammed with kind instead!). Funny how I'd definitely have to deal with constant cruel kids if I wasn't trying for it...
 

Silverbow

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Chapter 3​

In 1085 A.D., William the Conqueror finally succumbed to syphilis. The people breathed a sigh of relief, and sung his corpse a dirge.

God save brave Will of Normandy
Stiff-upper-lipped he sipped his tea
Atop a mound of babes he'd killed
To keep our nations coffers filled


ck2_1790.jpg

[SUB]Ha![/SUB]​

His eldest son, Robert, inherited the throne. To keep up with the family tradition, he got himself promptly excommunicated.

ck2_1791.jpg

[SUB]A veritable showcase of sins.[/SUB]​

Still waiting for the young kaiserling to come of age, Morgan busied herself by gaining a claim on the county of Gwent in southern Wales. However, she decided that discretion is the better part of valor and declined to pursue this claim for now.

ck2_1795.jpg
ck2_1796.jpg

[SUB]Guess why.[/SUB]​

In 1086 A.D., she had her first grandchild.

ck2_1797.jpg

[SUB]What kind of name is that?[/SUB]​

Enougen le Fay came of age, and Morgan married her to a prince of Sweden - matrilineally.

ck2_1798.jpg

[SUB]No need to waste all those good genes in Sweden.[/SUB]​

Growing older had some unexpected effects on Morgan.

ck2_1800.jpg

[SUB]Is a non-lustful Morgan le Fay still a Morgan le Fay?[/SUB]​

She also got a bit of opportunity to indulge her sadistic streak when she imprisoned a crazy psycho plotter.

ck2_1806.jpg

[SUB]Finally something cruel.[/SUB]​

In 1088 A.D., the stage was finally set for the grand finale of Morgan's play for the crown.

ck2_1810.jpg

[SUB]The final piece of the puzzle.[/SUB]​

Robert was waging a silly war between excommunicated kings against Malcolm in Scotland, the situation would hardly ever be better. Once the Holy Roman Empire finished its crusade in Samogitia, Morgan decided to go for it.

ck2_1814.jpg

[SUB]The crown shall be ours! Oh, and Warwick too.[/SUB]​

Morgan's diplomatic gambit worked like a charm - the HRE, Denmark and Poland all joined the war. Oh, and another claim was acquired in Wales.

ck2_1821.jpg

[SUB]Talk about a queue of future of conquests.[/SUB]​

The war started with a blunder, and Morgan basically exchanged her retinues for two Norman counts.

ck2_1824.jpg

[SUB]Both Willies.[/SUB]​

Emougen le Fay gave birth to Morgan's second grandson.

ck2_1825.jpg

[SUB]With that name, it's only a matter of time before someone pushes him off a tower.[/SUB]​

The war wasn't going well back in Albion...

ck2_1826.jpg

[SUB]Yuck.[/SUB]​

...but back in the Norman homelands, it was a different story.

ck2_1827.jpg

[SUB]Summon Lesser HRE![/SUB]​

The pivotal point of the war was the battle of Chester.

ck2_1828.jpg

[SUB]Someone's about to lose his crown here.[/SUB]​

After this battle, Robert's army ceased to exist. A sinful fool he might've been, but even he saw the doom staring him in the face.

ck2_1829.jpg
ck2_1832.jpg

[SUB]Mwahahaha![/SUB]​

Crowned the Queen of England, Morgan paused. It was time to evaluate her vassals and then proceed with stabilization of the realm - imprison, kill, revoke... you know, the usual.

ck2_1833.jpg

[SUB]And in a cruel act of mercy, likely grant the duchy of Normandy independence, then watch them get gobbled up by the Capets.[/SUB]​
 

NapoleonComple

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Brilliant!

So the Normans still control Normandy? Perhaps you should snuff them out! It may not be the most practical of objectives, but it is certainly a cruel and vengeful one!

EDIT: Edit-ninja'd
 

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Wahaha, glorious bloodshed! One of the perks of the incredibly high opinion caused by being attractive - all the male-dominated monarchies of the world will happily help you out in your wars. I do find it a bit strange that you don't have any allies within England proper, though.

"Not that cruel" .... okay then =)
 

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Wahaha, glorious bloodshed! One of the perks of the incredibly high opinion caused by being attractive - all the male-dominated monarchies of the world will happily help you out in your wars. I do find it a bit strange that you don't have any allies within England proper, though.

"Not that cruel" .... okay then =)
No need for allies within England since the plan... well, you'll see soon enough.
 

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Chapter 4

Morgan took a look at the crown laws of England and was both somewhat pleased and appalled.

ck2_1834.jpg

[SUB]Authority good, primogeniture good, agnatic BAD.[/SUB]​

And as for the vassals? The less said the better.

ck2_1835.jpg

[SUB]Feel the hate.[/SUB]​

Pope Alexander II's love of Morgan subsided, so Morgan started sucking up to him directly and constantly. She knew she'd have to stay in his good graces, with all vassals hating her.

ck2_1836.jpg
ck2_1840.jpg

[SUB]Free investiture FTL?[/SUB]​

The former king and an irrelevant count of his were deemed free imprisonment game by the lawyers.

ck2_1838.jpg

[SUB]A war is just delaying the inevitable.[/SUB]​

(Un)fortunately, the other dukes and counts hated Morgan enough to declare a civil war.

ck2_1841.jpg
ck2_1842.jpg

[SUB]How nice of them all to volunteer for imprisonment.[/SUB]​

Obviously, they all forgot that Morgan had the greatest military power in Europe on a leash.

ck2_1845.jpg

[SUB]Kaiser son-in-law FTW.[/SUB]​

Even Breton mercenaries joined the war for free, citing support of a conqueror from their homeland as the reason. And so while the armies of England, HRE, Poland and Breton bands chased down the rebels and sieged the hell out of them, Morgan busied herself with throwing prisoners into oubliettes and on the rack. And her heir busied himself with more kids.

ck2_1846.jpg

[SUB]Looks like we'll end up looking Russian two generations down the way.[/SUB]​

The pope gave Morgan another opportunity to make him like her more when he declared a crusade for Jerusalem.

ck2_1847.jpg

[SUB]Deus vult![/SUB]​

The former king Robert de Normandie proved to be even more of a jester than he looked like.

ck2_1849.jpg

[SUB]Hoping that I'd mistake this for a surrender, are you?[/SUB]​

Helori le Fay, the kid bishop of St. Ethelberts, died of pneumonia during the war.

ck2_1853.jpg

[SUB]Can't plot to murder pneumonia, sadly.[/SUB]​

Soon after, all dukes of England and a bunch of counts got to enjoy the dungeons.

ck2_1855.jpg
ck2_1856.jpg

[SUB]Thanks for the revolt![/SUB]​

Morgan wondered what to do for a bit - and with the dukes all at her mercy, she went on a banishment spree.

ck2_1857.jpg

[SUB]All the imprisoned scum got that treatment.[/SUB]​

And with the amount of money it brought, she continued her 'suck up to the pope' policy. This, in turn, gave her the piety to imprison and banish the few remaining counts in her realm, and instill absolute crown authority.

ck2_1890.jpg
ck2_1895.jpg

[SUB]Leading to this.[/SUB]​

Of course, holding and administering such an amount of land was impossible, even for a woman like Morgan. So she invited a claimant to the county of Maine, granted him the county and gave him independence.

ck2_1892.jpg

[SUB]Morgan forgot to give the guy the duchy of Anjou, and thus had to destroy it later.[/SUB]​

And as for Normandy, Morgan invited a bunch of men from Brittany and granted them the counties, then united them under Lukaz of Rouen, who had a claim on the duchy of Brittany, and set them free.

ck2_1898.jpg

[SUB]Hope they unite with Brittany and form the Kingdom of Brittany.[/SUB]​

Oh, and just how much did that banishment spree damage Morgan's reputation in the eyes of her courtiers at the time?

ck2_1896.jpg

[SUB]-1159 relations with your own son and heir? Wow.[/SUB]​
 

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Umm...

Do you have anyone left to entrust your lands to?