This AAR is so great! Please contunie kicking muslim butt!
Some screenshots would be nice.
Some screenshots would be nice.
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Thanks guys for yoour support
Sorry I didn't post anymore but I havn't been well today, but I will try and get another part posted tomorrow
Danish King - there is one screenshot up www.Geocities.com/cockney9, unfortuntaly the next one comes from 1581 so may have to wait a little while for it
Sorry I didn't post anymore but I havn't been well today, but I will try and get another part posted tomorrow
Danish King - there is one screenshot up www.Geocities.com/cockney9, unfortuntaly the next one comes from 1581 so may have to wait a little while for it
Part 10: Candy from a Baby...
The mood of the council is dark, the Turks seem to winning on all fronts in the North and Poland's armies have been dealt a serious blow in two battles with Turkey and desptie victories over Wallachia the Poland and her allies are in no fit state to continue the fight, it is with a heavy heart that we take only course of action available to us and on the 3 on March 1537 we decalre war on Turkey and her allies. I embark with 2000 foot and 10 guns and sail for Eygpt , the main army marches to Alexandria to knock out the rebuilt walls there, Upon my Arrival in Eygpt I receive news that the Aztecs have surrendered Tuxipan and 250 bars of gold to the Spainish, ignoring this for the time being I set off to Alexandria where the army has almost broken through the walls, on the 6th of July Alexandria falls and I take a minute to read the reports from my allies.
Venice is beseging Kosovo, slowly. Georgian troops are besieging Azow, while the Turks have turned their attention from Poland and are besieging Serbia. Hungey and Austria are playing what could be politly described as a waiting game and somewhat less politly as sitting on their arses!
I slipt the army, the main force of 9000 men (7/2) and 30 guns going to Samaria, while I lead a force off 4000 men (3/1) and 20 guns to the Nile.
When we arrive in the Nile we are driven off by a determined Cyenacian force of 4000 men, we take light losses and retire to Eygpt, following the usual patten of war Hungry instead of Annexation extracts 190 chickens from Wallachia, 3 guesses as to where their (Wallachia's) army will head next... On the 2nd of November we begin a siege of Jerusalem, I give strict instrutions that none of the Holy sites of any religion be harmed, we simply can't afford to risk rebelions at this time. Having been rested and reinforced I order a new march to the Nile on the 20th of december we drive off a small army with cannon fire only and lay siege to Aswan, meanwhile I noticed a Georgian force fighting its way down towards through Turkey, one has to admire the courage of our little allies.
On the 3rd of January 1538 we capture Jerusalem and although reports of the citizens throwing flowers and giving their daughters to our troops may be exagerated we are assured of a peaceful stay in the Holy city. The amr yafter a short period of rest marches north towards Lebanon to keep an eye on the Georgian force which is now besieging Syria. Meanwhile my allies report the follwoing the Turks are now besieging Kosovo after Venice captured it, Venice has moved on to Ragusa and is laying siege to it, Austria is fighting with Turkish/Iraqi armies in Bulgariaand Georgia has take Azow. Our amry rests and is reinforced in August just before an Iraqi army attacks, it is brushed aside with ease and I order them to march to Aleppo to put the Turks under pressure, the year ends quietly save for Georgia taking Syria and marching north.
In the new year the Wallachian army shows itself in Aleppo and we beat a hasty retreat back to Lebanon, also we receive news that Saxony, Denmark and the Teutonic order have turned their back on the truth faith and the Turks besiege Syria. In febuary we pay Wallachia 9 gold coins to keep their 45000 troops off our back and we capture the Nile the following day, I order a march north to Eygpt but a Cyencian force catches us and although we brush it off we have to start marching again. Meanwhile Venice takes Ragusa and marches south to Albania and Turkey takes Syria and marches north presumeably to Ragusa. Later that month the Krim are forced to hand over 219 young virgins to Prussia. In may we on attacked again while on the march and I order the army to retreat instead of fight, it should take Cyrenacia a long time to retake that province as their armies seem to lack siege guns. Venice reports that she has taken Albania in June and that the Truks have retaken Kosovo, Hungry meanwhile besieges Bulgaria and Austria provides moral support....
at the end of June Cyrenacia gives us 20 buckets of sand to end our war and I march north to redevous with the main army, which is still in Lebanon, the follwoing day Venice prises Ragusa from Turkey in a seperate peace and Turkish troops begin marching south, most worrying, a cheeky Iraqi army moves into Judea and I sent our amry to drive them out. The Iraqis are duely hammered in September and the now combined armies march on Syria, Meanwhile Hungry reorts she has taken Bulgaria, the Hungarian troops head for Kosovo and the Turks move into Bulgaria which they assualt and retake the follwoing month.
1540 dawns with no end in sight, the siege of Syria continuesand Turey and Hungry continue to fight in the Balkans, however on the 22nd of Febuary a major breakthrough comes as we take Syria, I march the amry back to Lebanon to see how the turks will react. Our admirals inform us that a new level of naval technology has been reached, I aks them if it is possile to get the navy out of port, they cough and leave my office very quickly. 6 days later the Turkish ambassador arrives with a peace offer, Syria and Samaria! I accpet immedeatly.
The Holy city is at last returned to Christian rule,church bells ring out all over Europe and once again our court is filled with envoys from foriegn countries with messages of good will, it is truly a great day!
The mood of the council is dark, the Turks seem to winning on all fronts in the North and Poland's armies have been dealt a serious blow in two battles with Turkey and desptie victories over Wallachia the Poland and her allies are in no fit state to continue the fight, it is with a heavy heart that we take only course of action available to us and on the 3 on March 1537 we decalre war on Turkey and her allies. I embark with 2000 foot and 10 guns and sail for Eygpt , the main army marches to Alexandria to knock out the rebuilt walls there, Upon my Arrival in Eygpt I receive news that the Aztecs have surrendered Tuxipan and 250 bars of gold to the Spainish, ignoring this for the time being I set off to Alexandria where the army has almost broken through the walls, on the 6th of July Alexandria falls and I take a minute to read the reports from my allies.
Venice is beseging Kosovo, slowly. Georgian troops are besieging Azow, while the Turks have turned their attention from Poland and are besieging Serbia. Hungey and Austria are playing what could be politly described as a waiting game and somewhat less politly as sitting on their arses!
I slipt the army, the main force of 9000 men (7/2) and 30 guns going to Samaria, while I lead a force off 4000 men (3/1) and 20 guns to the Nile.
When we arrive in the Nile we are driven off by a determined Cyenacian force of 4000 men, we take light losses and retire to Eygpt, following the usual patten of war Hungry instead of Annexation extracts 190 chickens from Wallachia, 3 guesses as to where their (Wallachia's) army will head next... On the 2nd of November we begin a siege of Jerusalem, I give strict instrutions that none of the Holy sites of any religion be harmed, we simply can't afford to risk rebelions at this time. Having been rested and reinforced I order a new march to the Nile on the 20th of december we drive off a small army with cannon fire only and lay siege to Aswan, meanwhile I noticed a Georgian force fighting its way down towards through Turkey, one has to admire the courage of our little allies.
On the 3rd of January 1538 we capture Jerusalem and although reports of the citizens throwing flowers and giving their daughters to our troops may be exagerated we are assured of a peaceful stay in the Holy city. The amr yafter a short period of rest marches north towards Lebanon to keep an eye on the Georgian force which is now besieging Syria. Meanwhile my allies report the follwoing the Turks are now besieging Kosovo after Venice captured it, Venice has moved on to Ragusa and is laying siege to it, Austria is fighting with Turkish/Iraqi armies in Bulgariaand Georgia has take Azow. Our amry rests and is reinforced in August just before an Iraqi army attacks, it is brushed aside with ease and I order them to march to Aleppo to put the Turks under pressure, the year ends quietly save for Georgia taking Syria and marching north.
In the new year the Wallachian army shows itself in Aleppo and we beat a hasty retreat back to Lebanon, also we receive news that Saxony, Denmark and the Teutonic order have turned their back on the truth faith and the Turks besiege Syria. In febuary we pay Wallachia 9 gold coins to keep their 45000 troops off our back and we capture the Nile the following day, I order a march north to Eygpt but a Cyencian force catches us and although we brush it off we have to start marching again. Meanwhile Venice takes Ragusa and marches south to Albania and Turkey takes Syria and marches north presumeably to Ragusa. Later that month the Krim are forced to hand over 219 young virgins to Prussia. In may we on attacked again while on the march and I order the army to retreat instead of fight, it should take Cyrenacia a long time to retake that province as their armies seem to lack siege guns. Venice reports that she has taken Albania in June and that the Truks have retaken Kosovo, Hungry meanwhile besieges Bulgaria and Austria provides moral support....
at the end of June Cyrenacia gives us 20 buckets of sand to end our war and I march north to redevous with the main army, which is still in Lebanon, the follwoing day Venice prises Ragusa from Turkey in a seperate peace and Turkish troops begin marching south, most worrying, a cheeky Iraqi army moves into Judea and I sent our amry to drive them out. The Iraqis are duely hammered in September and the now combined armies march on Syria, Meanwhile Hungry reorts she has taken Bulgaria, the Hungarian troops head for Kosovo and the Turks move into Bulgaria which they assualt and retake the follwoing month.
1540 dawns with no end in sight, the siege of Syria continuesand Turey and Hungry continue to fight in the Balkans, however on the 22nd of Febuary a major breakthrough comes as we take Syria, I march the amry back to Lebanon to see how the turks will react. Our admirals inform us that a new level of naval technology has been reached, I aks them if it is possile to get the navy out of port, they cough and leave my office very quickly. 6 days later the Turkish ambassador arrives with a peace offer, Syria and Samaria! I accpet immedeatly.
The Holy city is at last returned to Christian rule,church bells ring out all over Europe and once again our court is filled with envoys from foriegn countries with messages of good will, it is truly a great day!
Good good good, filthy muslems should keep their hands off the Sacred City...
Nice ass kicking, UPPERCUT i would say
Nice ass kicking, UPPERCUT i would say
Re: Part 10: Candy from a Baby...
That is some funny stuff! I find myself looking as forward to the follies of the Knight's hopeless fleet as I do the exploits of their magnificent army.
That is some funny stuff! I find myself looking as forward to the follies of the Knight's hopeless fleet as I do the exploits of their magnificent army.
Thanks guys for your support
I am pleased to report that I got absolutly ratarsed last night and as soon as my headache subsides I will write the next part
I am pleased to report that I got absolutly ratarsed last night and as soon as my headache subsides I will write the next part
Great Stuff
Great stuff. I have been devouring your reports to get me by until my game gets here!
Great stuff. I have been devouring your reports to get me by until my game gets here!
Part 11: Peace and Peace
As the numerous parties and celebrations subside I once again take stock of our situation, in the last war we took the rich province of Syria which has a large and worrying revolt prone population, Samaria despite the religious significance of Jerusalem and the thriving trade in true cross pieces is a poor province also highly revolt prone, our economy and army are still in the sh....ambles they have been in for years now, still we must continue to fight the good fight and we cement our relationship with our allies Hungry by marring off another surplus to requirements commander, in May Persia redefines the term fashionably late by declaring war on the Turkish alliance, lest hope they put up more of a fight this time. In August Hungry tries to retake Serbia from the Turks, but its siege guns are up to the task, on the first of November Syria rises in revolt fortunately our army is able to suppress it with little difficulty but we do take some losses which will have to be replaced next year.
1541 Begins with a report from the religious affairs minister Hessen and Brandenburg turn Protestant, we expel there diplomats at the behest of the pope. April comes and we receive a report from Hungry, they have surrendered Serbia to the Turks, may the province revolt a 100 times! a few days later a diplomat from their most Catholic majesties of Spain informs us that they have extracted 250 Limas and the province of Lajamina from the Incas, another 3 months until the next event when Turkey signs a white peace with Brandenburg and gives Poland 250 Camels. In November Persia shows the world its complete incompetence by handing over its treasury of 87 to Cyrenacia, in December I arrange a Royal marriage with Milan, I swear we have more soldiers in bedrooms around Europe than in the field...
1542, Bohemia turns to Protestantism, if this damn fad continues we have diplomatic contact with any one! In April Poland remembers that she has been at peace for more than 6 months and promptly declares, war on the Teutonic order dragging her allies Prussia, France, Navarra and Brandenburg with her. Persia humiliated itself again and paid 22 to Turkey, they are still at war with Iraq so they may yet redeem themselves. In may we enter a Royal marriage with Venice, I make a note to appoint a Minster for Royal marriages. The years winds up quietly with the Teutonic order paying 56 to Prussia and Spain declaring war on the Aztecs.
1543, Lord save us, the Persians are shown the folly of recruiting child lepers for their army when they sign a white Peace with Iraq. In mach the teutons pay 52 to Brandenburg and we reaffirm our Royal ties with Georgia. In July the blasted peasants of the Delta rise in Revolt, I march the army from Syria to show them the righteous path... the following month we deplete our ranks further with a Royal marriage to Poland and I raise some troops to replace the inevitable losses from quelling the rebellion in the delta, in October the rebellion is crushed, may God have mercy on the souls of the dead, or send them straight to hell, works for me... 1544 is the kind of year that I could get used to, nothing happens except the Teutonic order surrendering Ingermanland, Estonia and Kurland to the Poles, annexation cannot be far away.
1545, my finance minister reports that we have 156 Gold, I take the opportunity to expand the fortress in Egypt, in April we arrange a Royal marriage with the French and then the Turks decide to try their luck again and declare war on Venice...
As the numerous parties and celebrations subside I once again take stock of our situation, in the last war we took the rich province of Syria which has a large and worrying revolt prone population, Samaria despite the religious significance of Jerusalem and the thriving trade in true cross pieces is a poor province also highly revolt prone, our economy and army are still in the sh....ambles they have been in for years now, still we must continue to fight the good fight and we cement our relationship with our allies Hungry by marring off another surplus to requirements commander, in May Persia redefines the term fashionably late by declaring war on the Turkish alliance, lest hope they put up more of a fight this time. In August Hungry tries to retake Serbia from the Turks, but its siege guns are up to the task, on the first of November Syria rises in revolt fortunately our army is able to suppress it with little difficulty but we do take some losses which will have to be replaced next year.
1541 Begins with a report from the religious affairs minister Hessen and Brandenburg turn Protestant, we expel there diplomats at the behest of the pope. April comes and we receive a report from Hungry, they have surrendered Serbia to the Turks, may the province revolt a 100 times! a few days later a diplomat from their most Catholic majesties of Spain informs us that they have extracted 250 Limas and the province of Lajamina from the Incas, another 3 months until the next event when Turkey signs a white peace with Brandenburg and gives Poland 250 Camels. In November Persia shows the world its complete incompetence by handing over its treasury of 87 to Cyrenacia, in December I arrange a Royal marriage with Milan, I swear we have more soldiers in bedrooms around Europe than in the field...
1542, Bohemia turns to Protestantism, if this damn fad continues we have diplomatic contact with any one! In April Poland remembers that she has been at peace for more than 6 months and promptly declares, war on the Teutonic order dragging her allies Prussia, France, Navarra and Brandenburg with her. Persia humiliated itself again and paid 22 to Turkey, they are still at war with Iraq so they may yet redeem themselves. In may we enter a Royal marriage with Venice, I make a note to appoint a Minster for Royal marriages. The years winds up quietly with the Teutonic order paying 56 to Prussia and Spain declaring war on the Aztecs.
1543, Lord save us, the Persians are shown the folly of recruiting child lepers for their army when they sign a white Peace with Iraq. In mach the teutons pay 52 to Brandenburg and we reaffirm our Royal ties with Georgia. In July the blasted peasants of the Delta rise in Revolt, I march the army from Syria to show them the righteous path... the following month we deplete our ranks further with a Royal marriage to Poland and I raise some troops to replace the inevitable losses from quelling the rebellion in the delta, in October the rebellion is crushed, may God have mercy on the souls of the dead, or send them straight to hell, works for me... 1544 is the kind of year that I could get used to, nothing happens except the Teutonic order surrendering Ingermanland, Estonia and Kurland to the Poles, annexation cannot be far away.
1545, my finance minister reports that we have 156 Gold, I take the opportunity to expand the fortress in Egypt, in April we arrange a Royal marriage with the French and then the Turks decide to try their luck again and declare war on Venice...
Keep going!
an idea:
It would be very interesting if you could post a recap of the major alliances in your current game. Just to keep the rest of us updated on the political situation.
deej...
an idea:
It would be very interesting if you could post a recap of the major alliances in your current game. Just to keep the rest of us updated on the political situation.
deej...
First off, hilarious. Yes, perhaps the Persians shouldn't recruit child lepers. Anyway, is the last year in your AAR actually 1545? Did nothing happen in 1544?
I do indeed agree. Oh please do keep on your Saintly Work, and so may God help the Faithful
!
I will write the next part tomorrow, the title "the long war" is a slight giveaway and I promise it will include more battle, more blood, more naval imcompetance and more bad langaugue than ever before
Fun AAR the disintigration of the Turks or Mameluks makes for great fodder. Sounds like the Knights have a future
Part 12: For the Love of a CoT part I
The war council is gathered at Rhodes to discuss our plans and objectives it is quickly decided that we must first make a separate peace with a Turkish ally to allows us to negotiate terms with Turks on our own and that our main objective for the war will be the centre of trade at Alexandria. However we first invite back those turncoat dogs the Austrians into our alliance, they may be cowards but we need them.
I order the army to march to Alexandria and our brave Georgian allies invade Turkey and the Crimea. In July the Turks begin to gather their entire army at Syria, this is worrying news and will mean a longer war for us, a pox on them! in August we begin a siege of Alexandria and the 70000 strong Turkish army assaults Syria, I have 10000 letters of condolence printed in advance and we continue to reduce Alexandria’s walls. We have 3000 infantry on Rhodes and I decide to bring them to Egypt to speed things up, my admirals are against moving the fleet but I insist, although it is a little unnerving to se them all writing their wills... We move the Navy out of port and engage the Turkish squadron 14 ships, we have 18, a week later I receive two reports the first details a naval victory and I fall out of the damn window again into the moat I also that the admiral in charge died of a heart attack just as we won...
Praise God! our garrison holds off the Turkish assault with few casualties but the Turks now have 80000 troops in the province, may the good lord send a plague of locusts! France decides to teach the English a lesson and declares war along with her allies Poland, Navarra and Tunisia, England calls on Hansa and Portugal to support them. The blasted Turks once again assault Syria and our allies send us their reports. Hungry is besieging Serbia and the Georgians are besieging Azow. On the 21st of November we capture Alexandria and I order the army to await reinforcements, our garrison refuse to be subdued by the heathen and throws off another Turkish assault.
1546, reinforcements arrive in the new year and I take command of the army, we march to the Nile to knock Cyrenacia out of the war, the inevitable happens on the 2nd of March as the Turks now reinforced to 103000 take Syria from its brave garrison, the Turks march north to harass the Hungarians, we defeat a small Cyrenacia detachment in cataract ad we march on to the Nile. We arrive and besiege Aswan in April the walls start to crack immediately, another small army is beaten off in the Nile and in June we take the province and demand 250 Camels from the Cyrenacians and amazingly they cough up 190 of it. My allies Venice capture Serbia and I bring the army up to Egypt to await reinforcement. The Hungarians true to form extract 250 from Wallachia instead of simply annexing the swine’s, may the Lord give them guidance or sent a thunderbolt up their kings arse...
1547 begins with news of more heretics, this time a man by the name of Jean Calvin is preaching some heresy, I do not have time to concern myself with such matters and I march on Syria, I decide to pay off Iraq and I give them 10 silver coins to which leaves the Turk with one less ally, in April I sign a white peace with Algiers knocking yet another Turkish ally out the war, we capture Syria in June and I divide the amry in two and march on Aleppo and Jordan.
OOC: Bugger got to go to lessons now, will write part II tomorrow
The war council is gathered at Rhodes to discuss our plans and objectives it is quickly decided that we must first make a separate peace with a Turkish ally to allows us to negotiate terms with Turks on our own and that our main objective for the war will be the centre of trade at Alexandria. However we first invite back those turncoat dogs the Austrians into our alliance, they may be cowards but we need them.
I order the army to march to Alexandria and our brave Georgian allies invade Turkey and the Crimea. In July the Turks begin to gather their entire army at Syria, this is worrying news and will mean a longer war for us, a pox on them! in August we begin a siege of Alexandria and the 70000 strong Turkish army assaults Syria, I have 10000 letters of condolence printed in advance and we continue to reduce Alexandria’s walls. We have 3000 infantry on Rhodes and I decide to bring them to Egypt to speed things up, my admirals are against moving the fleet but I insist, although it is a little unnerving to se them all writing their wills... We move the Navy out of port and engage the Turkish squadron 14 ships, we have 18, a week later I receive two reports the first details a naval victory and I fall out of the damn window again into the moat I also that the admiral in charge died of a heart attack just as we won...
Praise God! our garrison holds off the Turkish assault with few casualties but the Turks now have 80000 troops in the province, may the good lord send a plague of locusts! France decides to teach the English a lesson and declares war along with her allies Poland, Navarra and Tunisia, England calls on Hansa and Portugal to support them. The blasted Turks once again assault Syria and our allies send us their reports. Hungry is besieging Serbia and the Georgians are besieging Azow. On the 21st of November we capture Alexandria and I order the army to await reinforcements, our garrison refuse to be subdued by the heathen and throws off another Turkish assault.
1546, reinforcements arrive in the new year and I take command of the army, we march to the Nile to knock Cyrenacia out of the war, the inevitable happens on the 2nd of March as the Turks now reinforced to 103000 take Syria from its brave garrison, the Turks march north to harass the Hungarians, we defeat a small Cyrenacia detachment in cataract ad we march on to the Nile. We arrive and besiege Aswan in April the walls start to crack immediately, another small army is beaten off in the Nile and in June we take the province and demand 250 Camels from the Cyrenacians and amazingly they cough up 190 of it. My allies Venice capture Serbia and I bring the army up to Egypt to await reinforcement. The Hungarians true to form extract 250 from Wallachia instead of simply annexing the swine’s, may the Lord give them guidance or sent a thunderbolt up their kings arse...
1547 begins with news of more heretics, this time a man by the name of Jean Calvin is preaching some heresy, I do not have time to concern myself with such matters and I march on Syria, I decide to pay off Iraq and I give them 10 silver coins to which leaves the Turk with one less ally, in April I sign a white peace with Algiers knocking yet another Turkish ally out the war, we capture Syria in June and I divide the amry in two and march on Aleppo and Jordan.
OOC: Bugger got to go to lessons now, will write part II tomorrow