Enewald: See, Rommel's not only an insane tanker, but a good dance instructor! :rofl:
Mico94: Usually I go with Schacht right off, Von Blomberg storywise waas pretty good. Don't worry he's still there in the military.
4th Dimension: Bingo.
Maj. von Mauser: You can read minds?
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Hess: kay dis is the 10th meting of teh 3rd rech. teh war is hot, & i want 2 here how it wnt. caffene dood wats going on?
Schacht:Ourproductionisgoingonsmoothly.Werecentlyaddedsomeescortfightersforthetacticalbombers,seeingasI’msurethey’llneedit.Researchisgoingwellwe’remakingnewinfantryandbombersand—
New Infs make me happy
Hess: kay, just b qwiet. new stoopid dood, ur trn.
Von Ribbentrop: Duurr… Poland go byebye. Lots of other countries hate us.
Polish campaign in a nutshell
Hess: lol pland sux. buch wat abot teh spis?
Buch: OH YEAH!
Fritsch: Only one spy attempted to get in, and he was killed.
Hess: srsly y arnt spis tring 2 entr teh cuntry? Wow now cing dat—
*Canaris enters the room with the skeleton of Von Neurath*
Canaris: I’m here I’m here! WHY THE *^%@ DIDN’T YOU %^*^@#$ HELP ME!?!?!
Hess: WTF dood?! Y r u holdin old dood’s bodee?
Canaris: Nonononono! Why the hell did you leave me underneath him for over a year!?! I had to survive by eating his flesh! Do you know how repulsive it was?
Hess: TMI dood, TMI.
Schacht:That’sdisgusting!Siryoushouldreally—
Canaris: SHUT UP!!! I’m speaking! You thought I was retarded because of the lack of information. I’m not! I dumbed down myself because our so-called-leader almost never gave me funding!
Raeder: LIES.
Canaris: Shut up you single worded freak!
Raeder: KILL!
*Canaris… pummels Raeder
*
Canaris: See?! See what I mean?! You still don’t take me seriously. You thought just because I acted stupid you could treat me like shit!
Beck: ^%*%#$( )^ ^*(&$$ &*&(%^&*&% %&$^#&*% &%&%#$^%#^%$ ^#$^%$#&^%^#!
Fritsch: No one treated you badly. I think that you’re just—
Canaris: Cram it mouthpiece! Everyone treated me badly! Hitler gave me the most demeaning jobs, Hess constantly insulted me, Goring ate my food! Hell, you and Beck insulted me behind my back! Don’t think that I don’t know what you do!
Beck: %^(*^)( ^#%^# $#%*&%?
Canaris: Yes I can understand you perfectly. You were insulting me even as Fritsch sugarcoated it!
Hess: STFU—
Canaris: noob. I knew you were going to say that!
Hess: lol time 4 u 2 gt b&.
Canaris: You can’t fire me! Only Hitler can seeing as he picked me for the spot! And his word is over yours you reject from 4-chan!
Hess: …
Canaris: See? If I was given a chance, I’d have proved to you all that I’m probably the smartest member here!
Hess: …fine. U gt ur spot bak, now gt rid of teh skelton. now wat happnd?
*Canaris drops the skeleton, but keeps the skull*
Canaris: Seeing that you didn’t give me anything to work with, I don’t have anything to say at the moment.
Hess: kay. now bek, wats up wit teh armee?
Beck: &$*&%$ %#&**(&%*(%^#%&% ^#&%$(*^(*^#^# %@%@ ^#^*%$^%# %%@%#&%^%$#&% ^%#$%# % &%&*$^#^$&$ $@#%!
Canaris: I heard that! My mother had nothing to do with stuff like that!
Fritsch: Uhh… aside from the insult, the army’s gaining some new infantry and motorized units. We’re also relocating to the west.
Hess: rader u OK?
Reader: …PAIN.
Goring: Now you know how I feel.
Hess: kay, now rader wats up wit teh navee?
Raeder: BATTLE.
Goring: Yeah, against the Polish. Nothing that impressive. Now my air units on the other hand managed to pummel the French and destroy the RAF!
Hess: orly?
Goring: Yeah, the RAF will not bomb another city—
*British bomber squadron bombs Berlin*
Hess: lol liar—
*British bomber crashes next to the meeting room*
Goring: …Without taking some losses.
Hess: K, metings ovr.
*Meanwhile on the battlefield*
Hitler: Wow, I didn’t think the Polish would surrender so quickly.
Von Blomberg: Agreement with statement. Poland should be more difficult.
Southern Campaign
Rommel: As I previously stated, the tanks we have makes our enemies— tremble in fear as we crush them— into bite sized pieces! Ooohh I love pieces! Particularly in my schnitzel!
Hitler: Rommel, go be crazy somewhere else.
Rommel: How about I— Very well Herr Hitler.
*leaves*
Hitler: Now, how about you Himmler? How easy did you find the Polish?
Himmler: They were similar t'mah chikins, but mah chikins fought harder aginst me than th' Polish.
Central Campaign
Hitler: Yeah I was a little depressed about that. I thought that—
Guderian: Forsooth my brethren of the Teutonic cross! Those foolish Slavic knaves have been soundly defeated by yours truly! Heinz Guderian, Grandmaster of the Knights Panzer!
The north was taken entirely by this Crazed Crusader
Hitler: Uhhh… Guderian?
Guderian: My liege! How bravely you fought against those savages at Krakow! Your heroic stand against those fiends is inspiring to all!
Hitler: Guderian, could you check for wounded?
Guderian: Very well my lord.
*leaves shouting about the nobility of his lord*
Hitler: And I thought Rommel was screwy…
Himmler: He completely outta his mind, cuss it all t' tarnation.
Hitler: Oh well. Contact everyone and tell them to move west for the French. And— Hey Model, what are you doing?!
*Model whizzes by on a tank*
Model: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Hitler: Model, you’re going to fall off a—
*Model falls off the cliff*
Model: … I’m okay! But my tank…
Hitler: I’ll get you a better one!
Model: Yay!
*In the sea*
Random Admiral: KILL?
*In the air*
Goering's Flyboys Pummel a French unit
German Pilot 1: Wet's demowish those no good Fwenchies!
German Pilot 2: Yeah, let’s get ‘em!
Hungarian Pilot: Uli gsv Sliwv!
German Pilot 1: What's this guy tawking about?
German Pilot 2: I don’t know but it sounds cool! Let’s go!