Coolest/worst names of countries

[Krajzen]

Stupid thread idea, thought about it while working on two not - so - sophisticated but extensive mods.

What are your favourite country names, least favourite, or those 'hardest to pronunciate' for you? Any reasons included.

My favourites:
- Saruhan obvious one
- Bukhara
- Medri Bahri
- Warsangali
- Lan Xang
- Dahomey
- Ardalan
- Chachapoya
^these sound so cool and exotic for me.
Also: Montenegro and Theodoro.

Least favourite
- goddamn Münster and Munster, I STILL after hundreds of hour of eu4 and eu3 mistake them!
- Funj, Najd, Sus, Chu, Qi, Xiu. Kinda lackluster
- UPCA.

How the hell I am supposed to pronunciate these (it disrupts my thoughts):
- anything from France, of course
- Jharkhand vs Yarkand
- China pls stahp wat r u doing
- Doughlat.
- Chickasaw, I imagine it as some bastardized English "chick" + "saw" and know it's horribly wrong pronunciation.
- Aq Qounlyu and Qara Qounlyu. Just wtf.
- Susquehannock
- Assiniboine
- Potiguara because it's name + it's green colour trick me every time into thinking it's Portuguese colony, especially irritating at early game when I always do 'wait how Portugal is here so early on... oh yeah, Potiguara, damn you'

 

[Pyske]

I love that Muscovy / Russia / Novgorod has a province called Beloozero. I am constantly thinking "BELOOOW ZERO" every time I see it. Especially since it's usually having a severe winter.

 

[Krajzen]

I love that Muscovy / Russia / Novgorod has a province called Beloozero. I am constantly thinking "BELOOOW ZERO" every time I see it. Especially since it's usually having a severe winter.

Haha yeah, forgot about this one. It sounds so out of place: deep Rus, Nizhny Novgorod, Smolensk, Pskov, Rzhev, Polotsk, Zhytomyr, Chernigov and suddenly Beloozero. For me it sounds like a name from some stupid American comedy

 

[Apolojuice]

Everytime I see Funj on the map, I get a little moist.



I threw up after typing that.

There is also a province of HAHA in Morocco, "you lost 48930 men in the battle of HAHA"

 

[Krajzen]

- Welcome, great kings, on a Congress in Axum when we discuss imperial matters of Eastern Africa.
- I am Gelawdewos the Wise, the emperor of Abissynia!
- I am Sultan Shajar al - Durr of Mamluk Sultanate.
- I am Sultan Ajuran Gareen of Ajuraan Empire.
- I am chief of Funj.
- Chief of what?
- Funj.
- This sounds like a meal of bush folk. No really, how is your Glorious Kingdom named?
- Funj. It's Funj Empire.
- ...

 

[balmung60]

Best? Astrakhan, no doubt.

Worst? USA and UPCA - naming countries as just their initials is really ugly. Commonwealth is a runner-up for being an ambiguous-sounding country name that manages to leave out both words describing what commonwealth it is.

 

[Apolojuice]

I'm told that the staple food in Funj are Funyuns.

 

[Krajzen]

USA makes sense but UPCA is horrible. I would prefer it so much to be called Guatemala, or Nicaragua, or Honduras, whatever. Sure it would be less exact naming but we already have 'Haiti' as united Caribbeans or 'La Plata' for 'whatever the hell is south from Andes' and both names are cool. But UPCA... Ugh. Sounds so anticlimatic, like some modern warband from African failed state. Union of Peace for Central Africa, for example (communist ideology, ethnocracy, murders and AK-47 included)

Commonwealth is problematic. 'Poland' would be much worse. Poland-Lithuania feels weird. But you, as a foreigner, should be really happy you don't have to deal with true, historical name:

Rzeczpospolita Obojga Narodów

I could bet over 90% of forum users (rest would be Slavic) couldn't pronunciate 'Rzeczpospolita' properly even after short Polish language course.

 

[Esoteric Rogue]

Assam

 

[balmung60]

USA makes sense but UPCA is horrible. I would prefer it so much to be called Guatemala, or Nicaragua, or Honduras, whatever. Sure it would be less exact naming but we already have 'Haiti' as united Caribbeans or 'La Plata' for 'whatever the hell is south from Andes' and both names are cool. But UPCA... Ugh. Sounds so anticlimatic, like some modern warband from African failed state. Union of Peace for Central Africa, for example (communist ideology, ethnocracy, murders and AK-47 included)

Commonwealth is problematic. 'Poland' would be much worse. Poland-Lithuania feels weird. But you, as a foreigner, should be really happy you don't have to deal with true, historical name:

Rzeczpospolita Obojga Narodów

I could bet over 90% of forum users (rest would be Slavic) couldn't pronunciate 'Rzeczpospolita' properly even after short Polish language course.

The thing is, UPCA/FRCA was a real nation. Just extend "USA" to "United States" and "UPCA" to "United Provinces" and I'd be happier than the current version, though the full "United States of America" and "United Provinces of Central America" would be ideal.

"Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth" is the normal full name for it in English and even the tag (PLC) makes reference to this.

As for the Polish name, it doesn't look that hard. I mean, it might take a few tries to get right, but several alternate names look a lot trickier to pronounce.

 

[Krajzen]

Well rzeczpospolita isn't very hard indeed - provided you can pronounce rz. Rz in polish language isn't ''r - z'' but a separate phone which is closest to absolutely nothing in English. Best approximation would be 'dhechpospolita' and by 'best' I mean 'atrocious'.
Welcome in Polish language: chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie w Szczebrzeszynie

About Funj, I have just discovered something baffling. Funj is a name of ethnicity which founded this kingsom... Which wasn't called Funj. It was "Funj Kingdom of Sennar'. God, Sennar is so much better and even more appropriate. Not to mention the fact Funj is also spelled Fung (better).

I guess constructive aspect of this thread would be pointing at the most inappropriate names (...Ottomans have its own thread) and better replacements. I'd go with Funj->Sennar and Tuscany->Florence.

Sidenote: I have just learned it is not Qara Qounlyu but much better sounding Qara Qoyunlu so I am blind idiot making his own life more difficult. Anyway, not sure why it isn't called Kara Koyunlu in - game; it is also proper name, just Turkish instead of Persian (similarly close to Koyunlu's cultural roota) and more... ergonomic.
Personally in my game I also renamed Majapahit to Nusantara ('indonesia' in javanese) and Semien to 'Beta Israel' - both are wrong names for these political entities (though Beta Israel is ethnic name like Funj) but sound so badass I had to do that.

 

[Kraxis]

and "UPCA" to "United Provinces" and I'd be happier than the current version

And then run into the alternative name for the Netherlands... The United Provinces.

 

[ShoGuL]

Let's see...

The only reason you like USA over UPCA is because UPCA no longer exists, and you use USA in common terms. They are both terribad imo So was "USSR" as a country, for that matter. Same deal.

Jharkhand vs Yarkand <- Sharkhand vs Yarkand.

- Aq Qounlyu and Qara Qounlyu. Just wtf. <- Just read the 'Q' as a 'K'. Ak Kounlyu and Kara Kounlyu.

 

[balmung60]

And then run into the alternative name for the Netherlands... The United Provinces.

Except the game already calls the Netherlands "Netherlands", which was officially called the "Republic of the Seven United Netherlands". The only semi-official name for it that I'm seeing with the words "united provinces" in it is "Republic of the Seven United Provinces", which isn't a good EU4 country name because it specifies a type of government.

 

[Dakilla TM]

Assam

I always read that as "ASS" and them "AM"

My favorites:

Astrakhan - Cool sounding name with a cool flag as well, and a nice dark blue!

Golden Horde - Sounds like a rich Mongol decked out in gold plates and blig charging into battle. Plus I like hordes.

Kazan - Another cool named horde, plus the flag.

Aachen - Cool flag with a cool name, sounds slightly weird to me and I'm probably pronouncing it wrong but there's something about the word "Aachen" stretched across the map.

Great Britain - Everyone has heard it and I love it. The Sun never sets on the British Empire.


Now for the least favorite ones:

Kangra - The heck is that? Sounds like a sound a metal pot makes when it falls on the ground.

Bundekehand - I don't even know.

Mewar - ME WAR! ME WAR!

Ouchi - OUCHI! I HURT MEH SELF

Date - Something I wish I could take girls to more often

Assam - DAT ASS...AM

Funj - LOLOLOLOL! What a Funj time we're having *badum tsssss* *corny joke falls flat*

Dahomey - DA HOMIE BRUH! HE'S DA HOMIE. *Thug Lyfe*

Oman - Oh man!

Yemen - Yeah man!

Manchu - CHOO CHOO MUTHAFUCKA, HORDE COMING THROUGH

Cornwall - Walls made of corn, every single time I see it I think of that.

Dauphine - Dolphin

Oldenburg - Is that where old Germans retire or what?

The Palatinate - Emperor Palpatine! God I hated that guy!

Tyrone - A good amount of black Americans name their kids this.

Serbia - Remove kebab

Bosnia - Kebab stronk.

Perm - Hair

Gazikumuhk - The heck is that??

Tougghourt - Yogurt, delicious yogurt.

Sus - Youtube Poops. SUS SAUCEc SUS SAUCE

Bagelkhand - Bagels

Carnatic - Sounds like an adjective used to describe something bad

Jharkand - Jerk off

Manipur - Man he poor

Oudh - Did you get punched in the stomach?

Sulu - You're not SHAKA!

Shun - You're shunned.

Air - Where's Aang? Where's all the air benders?

Yao - Yao Ming has his own kingdom now

Kong - I'm the King of Kong, so you can call me, King Kong.

Nupe - Hey man can you come pick me up? Nupe.

Jenne - JENNE! *Forrest Gump reference*

Blackfoot - Might wanna wash that

Fox - WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY? JKHSDGJDKJIWUOEDYWE&^#RHUIOW#

Chickasaw - Chick aye Saw. Chick saw? I dunno

Creek - Nice place to relax after a long day at work

Miami - Migrate to Florida please?

Shawnee - Shawdy got it goin gurl, she's every rapper's dream

Susquehannock - Don't ask me to pronounce that

Mixmaq - Sounds too silly

Cheyenne - The name of a pretty girl I used to like

Miztec - Mix tape, it's gonna drop soon

Xiu - Sounds like it should be in China instead of Mexico

Wanka - Wank, big, big wank

 

[Krajzen]

Dakilla you are brilliant

 

[Dakilla TM]

Dakilla you are brilliant

Thank you so much! Thank you thank you! Please, hold your applause! *blushes*

 

[Mauer]

Dahomey, I chuckled a bit when I first saw that one.

Also, Berry.

 

[Arjik]

Haha yeah, forgot about this one. It sounds so out of place: deep Rus, Nizhny Novgorod, Smolensk, Pskov, Rzhev, Polotsk, Zhytomyr, Chernigov and suddenly Beloozero. For me it sounds like a name from some stupid American comedy

In Russian Beloozero basically means White Lake and reads as [b'eloozero]. But Below Zero works too.
Staying on topic: Aq Qoyunlu and some other Eastern countries do have strange names. At least there's no Turdetani coming from the province of Arse like in Rome II...

 

[PhroX]

There's a whole bunch of annoyingly similarly named Indian states: Marwar, Mewar, Mewat, Malwa. I can never tell which is which....

But overall, I think Wanka wins best/worst at once....