Commonwealt AAR:Diet sessions

[Achiles]

Lordly members of this Diet, if I may have your attention for but a moment. I suggest that we find a map of these new lands, so recently liberated from those heathen scum through the blood and sacrifice of this great nations finest men, and place this map so all of us may see it. I believe this will let us get a better understanding of the situation and how these lands should best be devided.

I thank you for allowing me to speak my esteemed and gracious colleagues.

 

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King secretary, Pan Kazanowski speaks

My Lords.

Maps of former Golden Horde territory are unfortunalty unavailable. I suggest you check your own libraries[i can't upload this file, sorry.Maybe you can just check it in EU game?]. Unfortunatly King is very ill and for now can't attend session.

I remind you that we have to decide.

1. Peace tready with Horde
2. Distribution of conquered territory. I remind you that 25% goes to the Crown, by our law
3. There is another question, not clearly stated, since it is first time. We should decide what to do with Samara's gold mine income. [about 40d per year]
4. And last but not least, i urge you to elect new king. Jan Olbracht in on his way to capital.

Regarding war with Horde, our lates reports state that all their armies were annihilated, we captured two provinces, two more are sieged, Ataman Skoropads'kyi and Prince Ostrogski are on their way to last one. We hope that war will end before winter.

 

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The messenger for Ostrogski,Jan Filipkowski stands

Jan enters the room again. This time, he looks more regal. He is stopped by a messenger just inside the door, who passes him a note...


Ahem,I bid welcome from milord Ostrogski. He is still on the march from Samara to the infidel province of Saratow. He has given me this note to read to the assembled nobles.


" Dear nobles,
I birng grand news. We have just taken the capital of these Horde barbarians,and only need take Saratow. With Saratow, absolute victory shall be ours. However with this conquest comes trouble. I speak, of course, of the division of land. I know many will not hear this, but how shall the land be proportioned out? I have two suggestions. One, that any noble who does not come to the Diet Sessions, excluding the Hetmans, shall be left out of any division. Can they not send any family memebers? Or like myself, send a trusted advisor or messenger to act in their stead? I speak not for the other Hetmans, as they are busy with war, and should not be expected to have to think of such things. I would say this. Without our command, the Horde might not have fallen as quickly as it did. More Commonwealth lives would have been wasted, and we may not have been as successful. So, it is only fair that the Hetmans be rewarded accordingly. Would you think it fair that a noble who did nothing get an equal share to one who risked their life in the service of our mighty Commonmwealth. And, so that I do not appear to be greedy, I suggest that were I not Hetman, and did I not aid in capturing Samara from the Horde, then I would not dream of getting an equal share compared to those who had actually fought.
This brings me to my seond point. I would say that those who are not actually fighting the battles be given less of a share than those who actually do the fighting, and who do the dying for the land that others will divide.

I am certain many noble would not agree to this, but ask yourself this. If we had not beaten the Horde as quickly as we did, some of you may have found the Horde in your provinces, raping your women, and raising hell.

In Closing, the actual leaders should be granted a slightly larger share than that of the nobles who can stay at home. This is only fair, and certainly you would want your Hetmans to be properly motivated, not only thorugh service to the Crown, but thoough other, less tangible things.
Second, any noble who feels it too difficult to show up for the division of land, they not be included in said division. Tell me is this fair? That one who ignores the Commonwealth be gifted with land. In effect they would get something for absolutely nothing.


We mustn't allow this to happen.

I shall return soon,

Roman Ostrogski, Field Hetman of the Duchy"


And, my King, I would offer this suggestion in regards to the gold. Split it evenly, as was mentioned above. Any who fail to show up and speak in the Diet are ineligible. This should be fair, hmm.

I would also be so bold as to suggest that the Ataman be excluded from this, as he cannot enter the Diet even if he wants to. But any noble who does not show up, they are ineligible for any of the spoils of war.

Of course, this excludes Hetmans, as they cannot be in 2 places at once, no?

 

[Brad1]

People were shocked when they saw the head of the Glinscy Family at the Diet Session. He began to speak.

"I know that many of my people have died in the fight for the Golden Horde. It is in my opinion that since my people have died in the fight, they should get a small area of land to live in. (Like a third of a province.) And also, I would like a large sum of Golden Horde gold. I will be building some armies for any up coming wars with the Muscovites, the Turks, or any other country that we would wish to face."

As he sat down, other nobles in the Diet session were surprised. They thought that he would have made demands for vast areas of land. In the end, all he wanted was a small area to provide homes for his soldiers and some money to build armies. Although some of them were nervous of what he wanted to do with those armies.

 

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pan Vaclav's son, Ioan, enters the room, seeming even more confident than before

Nobles! King!
I am back with new word from my dear father...
He is very happy to report that the war is going even better than his wildest expectations, and hopes to be resting back in our Belgorod home soon enough. He is also looking forward to holidays on his new estate in the hills and mountains of Samara, enjoying his newfound hobby... he says he picked it up from one of the captured Horde lieutenants. It is called "skying or skiying" or something.. It is played by binding two wooden boards to your feet, marching towards the top of a mountain, and then sliding off whilst exclaiming loudly: "I'm the king of the woooooooooooooooooooorld! Yeeeeehaw!". I thought it was rather weird as well - maybe he saw too much dead bodies - even an experienced and courageous military leader like my noble father can have his moments of sadness and melancholy when viewing such great numbers of brave dead warriors.

Ok, i can see that you are getting slightly bored here, so i will cut right down to the point here. Considering the division of the lands, my father is very simple and understandable. There is only one situation in which he will tolerate that people who havent fought in this war nor have done anything for the Commonwealth on other fields, will get land. This situation is:.........

*leans closer, makes the nobles come closer and closer to him... pan Glinski is about 30 cm from his face, when he BANGS his fist on the mahogany table and roars with all the power his 15 year old body has, straight in Glinski's face, but speaking to everyone:*

OVER HIS DEAD BODY!!!!!!

*settles down and continues:*

What he means to say is: no land will be given to anyone that doesnt deserve it, which is quite logic and fair too! Why would someone who spent the last winter in his cosy estate, babysitting his children, having fun with his family, enjoying his meals, get the same rewards as the five brave military commanders who fought these wars with their own bare hands!!! These men ate simple soldiers-fare! Old bread, hard, rotten cookies, and maybe one piece of fruit and meat every week! EVEN under these circumstances, they have lead and ARE STILL leading their men to glory even as we speak! These men deserve to be rewarded adequatly and lavishly. If this is not done, it would mean a great shame to the Commonwealth, and it might have grave results for the stability in our country. Rebellions might follow, supporting the good nobles who protect their subjects and fight for the further glory of the Polish Commonwealth! I am personally extremely enraged by the false claims that "pan" *spits that word out with as much venom as he can muster* Glinski lays upon a ridiculous THIRD of a province? And on top of that, he dares to claim a portion of the gold province?!? Phah, i spit on you and your kind, i SPIT ON YOU! You are not worth to be noble... Even though the Ataman isnt my best friend, he has proven his valor on the battlefield - he would deserve your petty title even more than you do! At least he would carry it with the honor that comes naturally with him (we cannot say this of you, obviously!) instead of using it as a manner to get what he wants... You are childish, weak and simply a CHICKEN when it comes to real warfare. I suggest that you just stay on your estate, and sit tight, keep your mouth shut. You have no place here in the Diet!

I wish to apologise to the rest of the nobles for my little tirade here, but i am very shocked and enraged by the fact that this man dares to makes such ridiculous claims. Even I, at my tender age, seem to have more political wit and strategical intelligence than this person who considers himself a grown up, and even more than that, a noble!

The exact division of the lands is something that the Grand Hetman of the Crown would rather comment on than offer suggestions himself. He does however insist that once the Crown has received its fair share, the richness of Samara is divided amongst the men who have bravely fought for the glory of the Commonwealth. Also, he would like to see that the Diet Marshall gets a nice share of the other provinces, as he has proven that he is a good politician and also a good man, qualities not often found in the same person! He has lead the Diet sessions impeccably, and has been a good force to have within the Commonwealth. Although this might upset the merchants in our nation, he does think they dont deserve a share of these lands. As he understands, they will be getting provinces in future wars which are metropolises of trade, which will provide a great boost to their income when these lands are added to the glorious and ever victorious Commonwealth!

Furthermore my fathers compliments and felicitations go to; his fellow Hetmans, with whom he hopes to fight much more wars in the future (i hope to be able to learn from these men, should i ever follow in my father's footsteps, since i admire them greatly), his King, for providing troops in such great amounts and of such high quality and training.

My father hopes to be able to attend the future Diet sessions - he is trying to hurry home as fast as he can, after cleaning up the battlefields and ensuring that his armies are well on their way back home.

Thank you for your attention during this rather long speech. I have said what needed to be said.

Hail to the King, Hail to the Commonwealth, Hail to the True Faith!

Your humble friend and ally,

Ioan Wisniowiecki, special envoy speaking in name of the Wisniowieccy family, son of Prince Vaclav Wisniowiecki, the brave Grand Hetman.

 

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Pan Jurek Sapieha stand up and speak:

My beloved king, noble lords!


The first point, which we have to decide is the peace treaty with the Horde. Sapieha family take the view, that we should conquer them completly to liberate all of our orthodox brothers and sisters finally. No peace before not the last province is free.

The second point is, how we should distribute the conquered provinces.
Sapieha family take the view, that we should honour our rules, where is written down, how we have to distribut - in general. Concretly we support the proposal of prince Roman, that everyone, who has risk his live should get a extra piece of land as an appreciation. And we have confidence that our wise king would find a decision, which consider both sides.

The third point is, how we should distribute the income of Samaras gold mine. Our suggestion is to split it like we would split a conquered province by our law.

About the new king election I like to ask for more information. I`m not sure I could do. Its my first participation of a kings election. I beg your pardon.

Pan Sapieha sit down.

 

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The messenger for Ostrogski,Jan Filipkowski stands

Jan is incredulous after hearing this, this,this THING using the Glinscy family name speak. How could one be so incredibly arrogant? Jan practically has to grip the table with all his strength, to stop him from ripping out this THING'S throat. Is this what passes for a member of the Glinscy household these days? If so, there won't be many Glinscy around much longer...

(Throught clenched teeth. Every word almsot seems to take an infinty to say)

You... Would...Make...Such...Demands...You ...Of...The...Glinscy...Family?
You...Are...Not...Fit...To...Speak...To...This...Diet!

Jan takes a DEEP breath, and continues...

Now, let us look at what this so called "noble" (and I use the term loosely ) says. He DEMANDS a third of a province? What has he done? He slinks in only after a war is done, makes his stupifying demands, and then expects the Diet to shrug their collective shoulders, and say "Sure, what the hell? He is a gooooood guy, right?"

He looks directly at the head of the Glinscy household, and spits at him...

Sirs, I am but a humble messenger, but I would suggest that this THING not be granted any land. What he speaks is blasphemy. He would have you belive "his"people died? Yes, and were it not for the Hetmans, more of "our"people would have died! So that is in and of itself a hollow cry! He asks for a "large sum of Horde gold", but I ask again, why? He sat at home, in his esate, not even deeming it necessary to come to other Diet sessions! And he wants "gold"? For what? More lazy pursuits? Is it not curious he only apperas now, that the battle is almost won? He does not send someone in his stead before this, and I ask again why? Can we trust someone as COWARDLY as this thing claiming to be froma NOBLE house is? I say, he gets a tiny slice of land, and he should be glad of it.

Sirs, I can not continue. To do so shall make me explode! I am finisehed for now

 

[Brad1]

I am sory for how many of you took my post. I only did that request so I could compromise down on to just some money. I have been gone for a few days recently but if I were here, I would have benn a full supporter for this war against the Golden Horde. Also I would have sent many of my own armies into combat to righteously earn the right for those lands. I will denounce my request for any lands from the Golden Horde. All I ask for is a share of the money that the Horde has n its coffers. Also, I don't want people to take this to serously to, this is only a small amount that I ask for. Not any greater than any other nobles. It was in my absence that I was not able to make a stronger statement nor any claim to any lands. Also it is to my character that I would feel that I should be the Protector of some Muscovites, although I now request a much smaller part from this war.

Note: I was gone in real life, had I been here I would have attended the Diet meetings.

 

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Jan Zamoyscy.

Marshall of Diet sat calmly throughout Ioan Wisniowiecki's speech. He then makes a sign to the soilders standing in Diet's Hall. As the soilder aproach Ioan Wisniowiecki, Jan Zamoyscy stands up and adresses Ioan Wisniowiecki.

How dare you accuse another noble of not deserving to be one? How DARE YOU imply that Glinski is not equal, did he not pay tax which financed this war? How DARE YOU show up in this honorable institution and make accusasions? You, deserve a lesson in etiquet and laws of our great Commonwealth. You, Ioan Wisniowiecki are under arrest. You shall spend a night in jail to cool your head, and then you will spend another night and another, untill your father arrives here from the front lines and straightens this up. You WILL learn not to polute Diet sessions with the filth that was coming out of your mouth. You WILL learn to pay respect to NOBLES.

 

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Jan Zamoyscy.

I see no end to the delquency of people that use insult in this honorable institution. Therefore, by acting on behalf of all nobles I arrest Jan Filipkowski.

How dare you, not a noble, imply that Glinski is a "THING", you shall hold proper respect to nobles in the future. You are under arrest, and you shall stay imprisoned untill an apropriate Court session shall be held.

My dear nobles, please study the mental health of your subject and heirs before sending them to speak on your behalf. Today is a very sad day as I have to imprison Jan Filipkowski and Ioan Wisniowiecki, for their desrespect to fellow nobles and this instituation.

I cannot say that I agree with Glinski either, but I will not use the lowest form of conversation, insult. This Diet should present union of our great state. While I'm not worried about young Ioan Wisniowiecki for insulting a peer, I fear that Jan Filipkowski shall suffer a great deal. I shall await for Ioan's wise father to arrive to release Ioan in his cutody.

We must not decide the devision of provinces yet. May I remind you that the war is not over, and we do not posses all those provinces yet.

I propose that our peace agreement with Golden Horde, should be: Total Military Annexation.

The Samara gold mine shall go to King, and all the income from it will go directly to National Treasury. With this king of income we can lower our taxes later on.

Election for a new King shall be held during the next Diet Session.

Thank You.

 

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*A man whose looks resemble those of Ioan and Vaclav Wisniowiecki, although he looks older than the first, but less experienced and scarred by age than the latter, enters the Diet chambers and takes the place of his brother.*

Goodday, honourable nobles. Greetings, my King, Greetings Diet Marshall Zamoyski.
I shall introduce myself. I am Bogdan Wisniowiecki, son of prince Vaclav, heir of the Wisniowieccy family. I was busy working on some financial records on my father's estate when my child-brother's secretary arrived in my offices, with a pale face and sweat on his forehead. He explained me what had happened, and i set off on horseback towards Krakow. I am glad to finally have arrived. My apologies for my slightly dirty attirage - i didnt want to waste any time with such womanly things like washing oneself. My attention is required here, not in some bathroom, and like my father, i can take my responsibilities. Unfortunately, i have been forced to realise that sending my little brother Ioan to the Diet was a grave mistake... It was mainly my idea, not solely my father's. I proposed to him to give our Ioan some political experience, but apparently he is still too bold and hotheaded to take part in the business of mature folk. I should have come down to our capitol myself instead of busying myself with difficult calculations and some mesmerisings about a future wife. My apologies for my lack of sense of responsibility and priority. I will not even try to apologise for my brother's incredibly outrageous behaviour. During the ride down to Krakow, i first thought of offering a voluntary bail to the Crown to get my brother out of jail. Instead i have decided to take a bolder action...

*Claps his hands twice, and two of his servants walk in, with a pure gold platter that they carry between them. The platter flickers in the sunlight. It is of the purest gold. A silk cloth with the Wisniowieccy family shield embroided lies on the platter. Some attendants are starting to give Bogdan uneasy looks...*

Dear attendants of the Diet, this plate was the first ornamental piece that was claimed by my father when he conquered Samara. I received it from him two days ago, as a sign that he would be returning home soon. Now i have a small surprise to present to you. To reflect that the Wisniowieccy family does not tolerate any disobediance, lack of discipline and disturbance of public order, I offer you this:

*The servants move forward, and place the plate before pan Zamoyski. He looks worried, glances at Vaclav's son. Damn, he certainly carries his fathers blood... Bogdan keeps his ice cold look and speaks up:*

Noble pan Zamoyski, please remove the cloth...

*Zamoyski looks slightly uneasy, but rips the cloth off in one fluent motion. He is a man who rather faces things instead of waiting until they develop into unpleasant surprises...*

Even the most hardened military commanders let out a shocked sigh or scream when they see what lies on the plate... It is the severed head of the late Ioan Wisniowiecki... His fierce blue eyes stare right at the Diet Marshall. All secretaries stop taking notes, all eyes turn toward Bogdan, who still manages to keep his composion. He looks every noble in the eye, lingering shortly at the King, the Diet Marshall and pan Glinski... He takes a deep breath - the first sign of any weakness whatsoever - and speaks in a strong and clear voice:

I present to the highest governing body of the Commonwealth...; the head of my brother. I took it from him personally, after making my way into the carcers. He paid gravely for his insolence: with his life. You may believe that I am crazy, but this was a necessary course of action. Everything for the honor of my family! EVERYTHING! I hope that the nobles seated here can forgive this child, I offer my solemn promise that such an incident will not reoccur. In addition to this strong sign, i donate the cloth to the Diet Marshall, the plate to pan Glinski, and i pledge an additional voluntary donation to the Crown, consisting of 2d, to cover all costs my brother has caused, and to pay for the damage he has done to this governing organisation and to the Commonwealth.

It is against my honor and family pride to beg for forgiveness, so i will do so. I do believe that i have sent out a strong sign about which values my family holds high, however, and i hope my father will condone this drastic course of action.

My apologies for disturbing the Diet, I shall now return to the family estate in Belgorod to mourn over the loss of my brother.

May we meet again in the future, perhaps in more pleasant circumstances.

*He slowly walks towards the door, signalling his aides and servants to follow him. Many eyes stare at this man, who will at one point in the future rule the Wisniowieccy lands. One day, he will walk in his father's footsteps... If he is already so strong of character at his age, he will be a great ruler some time... And perhaps he will exceed his fathers accomplishments - he sure has the guts...*

 

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Before the soldiers can come to arrest Jan, he motions for one second

Noble Diet Marshall, I must apologize for my outburst. I did not mean to imply noble Glinscy was a thing, but there were outside fatcors that influenced me. I did not mention it, as I did not think it important to mention. With the letter sent to me by milord Ostrogski, there was another note, from my brother, Alexandr, who marched with milord Ostrogski. As I have said before, I am but a humble messenger, with three...I mean one brother

Jan chokes back the tears, knowing he will die for his outburst, he continues...

I apologize, honoured nobles...
I had three brothers, but lost two of them as they were battling the Horde in Saratow. My brother, Alexandr, sent me news of this. And so, when I heard noble Glinski speak, all I could think of was my two dead brothers, lying in some ditch in Saratow. I apologize, but I lost it. It will not happen again, and I am certain milord Ostrogski shall return from battle soon enough.

Turns to noble Glinski, gets on his kness, and bows his head...

If you feel dishonoured by my actions, noble Glinski, I would have you take my life. I have let down milord Ostrogski, and deserve nothing less than death. I ask you forgive my incredible stupidity, as I am not so refined as the assembled nobles who are here, in this Diet.


He gets up, and turns to the Diet Marshall. Tears well in his eyes, and Jan has to choke back a sob...

Honoured Diet Marshall(catches his breath, chokes back a sob): I apologize for my actions. Surely you have lost a loved one? Someone who was close to you? Surely you understand the pain this causes. I admit, I should not have let it take ahold of me as muchas it did, B but I beseech you, please do not arrest me! My anguish and pain are prisons I shall suffer through for a lifetime. I only ask you reconsider, and I promise, I shall never return to this Diet again.

Sighing, he prepares to be lead off to the gallows. "Well" he thinks" at least I shall join my brothers soon enough..."

 

[Achiles]

Gentlemen if I may.

I look around me today and see a gathering of some of the smartest, bravest, wisest men in our great gountry. Surely an assembly such as this can work out it's differences. I believe that Jan Filipkowski was impertinant and foolish with his earlier coments but he has admitted his error. So in a proper christian spirit I believe he should be forgiven and aloud to retake his seat. As far as Iaon Wisnowiscki. Well let me just say that I like nothing of his style of dealing with this diet. He is brash, rude and arrogant. I think his father made a poor choice in choosing his representitive and heir. if he be willing to admitt to his arrogance and foolishness and admit their wrongness and sincerly apologize for them i think he should be aloud to retake his seat as well.

On the division of the hords lands and wealth I believe I may have a solution that will please all if I may have but a moment to formulate my thoughts.

 

[Achiles]

Here is my proposal gentlemen.


Part one deals with the division of the lands.

*The King takes 25% as is his right and our law.

*Lubomirscy, Ostrogski, Radziwill, Wisnowiscky, and Cossacks 10% each.

*Sapieha, Glinski, Merchant League, and Zamoyscy 6% each.

Part two deals with the division of the gold.

*10 ducats to our Great King.

*5 ducats for each of the five hetmans.

*5 ducats to the treasury.

The ZadZik family claims nothing as it does not belong to us. Only the soldiers who fought and died to obtain.

That is my proposal gentlemen. it is a compromise that i do not expect you to like but i believe it meets the demands of all as fairly as possible. I hope you will see the logic in my reasoning and choose to accept it and my proposal. i thank you all for your time.

 

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Jan Zamoyscy.

In a weak and tired voice: This his been the most disturbing Diet Session in history of Commonwealth. Now since Bogdan Wisniowiecki, left for his father's estates the Wisniowiecki family has no representative. Heirs of Prince Vaclav Wisniowiecki, have caused a lot of problems today. I therefore post guard on the doors of Diet to prevent any member of Wisniowiecki family, their representative or their envoy short of Prince Vaclav Wisniowiecki himself to be KILLED on spot. Unless Vaclav Wisniowiecki returns from the front, Wisniowiecki family shall not be represented for the remaining part of this Diet Session.

I must also publicaly state that Bogdam Wisniowiecki insulted me by killing a person who was protected by me, my prisoner. This insult shall not be forgiven and I shall contact our King about Bogdan's legal punishment.

 

[Brad1]

Tomesz Gilinski was very surprised with all the anger towards his actions. Then he was insulted, that Struck a nerve. He was insulted by Jan, on of his best friends trusted messanger. Facing him in front of the Diet, he made a speech of the top of his head.

"Jan I have know Roman for many years. We have grown to be friends. How do you think that your family would feel if you were killed. I am very angry that you have insulted me, but I am a devoted Christian" Jan looked puzzled, as did the rest of the Diet members."God said to forgive, and that is what I will do. I will not support your death. Your Soul will be in anguish for the rest of your life.I believe that you should be sent back to your family, and have Roman deal your punishment. He would hate to see you die, Although he is not as harsh as Bogdan." That statement made everyone even more puzzled, as they wondered as to what will happen.Also he noticed that Jan still seemed frightened. It seems that his father Roman still scares the hell out of him.

 

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Letter to the assembled Nobles of the Diet

To the Honourable Diet
From Jan Filipkowski

Nobles of the honoured Diet. I ask forgiveness for my foolish outburst. I apologize to all the assembled Nobles. I was rash to act as I did. I was completely out of order, and only wish I was better able to control my emotions. I expect nothing, perhaps death, for my actions. I must try to remember the awe with which i viewed the assembled Nobles when I first came in. That is the way one of my stature should act. In awe of the genius of the Nobles who rule this country from the Diet.

I apologize to all the assembled Nobles from the botom of my heart.











However...


I must say, that fool you chose for Diet Marshall? Do you feel special, having a cow lead you like that? Does he "Mooo" ve for new udders?

Hey Diet Mooshall, here's what I think of you:

I blow my nose at you, so called Dyet Marshall! You and all your silly Polish Kkkiiinniggits! You empty headed animal food trough woffer! I fart in your general direction!

I don't care if you were the King of England, Joke Zamoosky! You were born a fool, lived a fool, and will die a fool. Why,instead of slapping you when you were born, the Midwife smacked you mother!And your father begged to put you back in!
Your father, I heard he used to work closely with cows. A little too close, if you know what I mean . Why when you were young, did you and your siblings sit under your mother, and suckle her udders? I bet ya did, ah ha ha
Tell me, have you ever loved a woman, I mean a human woman? Ah ha ha ha!
So, your nose is brown. You been sticking it where the Sun don't shine? I bet I bet!
Hey, here's something for you, :

" A cow, a pig and the Diet marshall enter a barn. After three hours, te cow and pig run screraming out of the barn, and the Diet Marshall walks out side, whistling a merry tune!"

Ah ha ha ha hoo!


Whadya think? Hmm? I would continue, but i am getting tired of you Diet Mooshall.

Once again,

I blow my nose at you, so called Dyet Marshall! You and all your silly Polish Kkkiiinniggits! You empty headed animal food trough woffer! I fart in your general direction!

 

[Achiles]

Your rehashed versions of great comedy will do you no good here Jan.

 

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Jan Zamoyscy.

Today, Diet recieved an insult unparareled to any other. As Jan Filipkowski so nicely put it, he farted in my general direction. I clearly state that this man is a complete psychopath, for he begs forgiveness and then insults. But this time he insulted ALL of us, for you have elected me Diet Marshall and he undermines you wise choice. Not only that, but that man doesn't realise that farting in my direction means farting in the direction of Diet. He shall suffer a fate far worse than death, of that you can be assured.

 

[Achiles]

Achilles ZadZik rushes in breathless. He pauses for a moment then speaks.

My cartographers and I have been working long and hard and have finally completed or labors. A map of the lands of the Golden Horde detailing my proposal has been placed in the library. If you cannot find it speak to the clerk who manages the library. I believe his name is Suvorov. A very strange name indeed. It should be listed under the heading http://www.systemvoid.com/maur/screenshots/Achiles_CommonwealthRPG2.bmp. The large blank area goes to the crown incase anyone was wondering.

Now the second part of my proposal deals with how to spend the profits from the gold mine. I believe that 15 ducats should go to the King and 5 ducats should go to each of our mighty generals that lead our armies in the war against the Golden Horde. I sincerly hope you all will come around and agree to my proposal as I believe it is the most fair and equitable way to resolve this situation.