Colonies and Portugal - which rules which?

[unmerged(8545)]

Settings:
No missions
Level: Hardest
AI : Very agressive
campaign: Grand campaign, normal game (no igc).

(This aar is written largely from memory, so it may contain small errors. I trust it will give a good impression all the same).

First Period: There is already an island to the south, we have people willing to risk their life, so off we go!
Colonists are sent to a small island called Fernando Po. In the first years we sent 500 volunteers in an attempt to settle a a small colony. Hommage to the brave colonists, we create a new 'Fernando Po Courage Cross' in their honour. All attempts failed.

Meanwhile, one of our brave admirals (Diaz?) sails west from the azores, reconnaitring sea areas one by one, always returning after having mapped a new sea area. New islands are discovered, but mostly settled by our great neighbours the Spanish, remining either unknown or not worth settling. But when we finally spot a good beach, the first tradepost is quickly established.

Our neighbour knocked its head out against tiny Granada, which will remain ndepnedant for some more decades. Having lost most of its armies against this mini state, Spain decides to take on France. With the calculated IQ of Spanish generals, Portugese bookmakers favour France.

Portugese admirals discover the existence of a great continent to the south of the afore mentioned islands. Enthousiasm for being killed on unknown shores reasches new heights, but Portugal cannot afford colonies, so we just claim land by starting tradeposts. Sorry everyone, you will get lots of chance to give your life for King and Country later.

 

[unmerged(8545)]

Moron or Moron

"Sire, sire, we have discovered new lands!"
"Another island with natives who dont want us?"
"Oh no sire! That big continent to the south of us, there is an area which the captain baptised Senegal, which is a good place to live"
"And who would like to burry himself there?"
"Oh, lo´'s of volunteers, sire. And it would greatly help if we had a harbour there."
"OK, go ahead."

"Sire, Sire, the people in Senegal all get sick!"
"Did you think about sending a docter?"
"Excellent idea, sire, we will send more colonists, sure there will be a doctor among them!"

"Sire, Sire, using the Senegal port we have discovered that that continent to the south does have an end!"
"Incredible. Why dont you give it a name?"
"Oh, it already has, let me look it up. Uh, it is called Africa."

"Sire, Sire, with 700 immigrants, Senegal has grown to a real colonial town, not just a settlement!"
"Great"
"But sire..."
"What?"
"The people are still getting sick and dying..."
"Did you send a doctor?"
"Uh, we send more colonists, sire"
"Well, what about sending s doctor?"
"Great idea, sire, we will send more colonists!"

"Sire, Sire. We don't have money to expand our settlement!"
"Uh, can we do it cheaper?"
"We could start some new trade posts on the islands in the west"
"If you can solve your problems yourself, why ask me?"

"Sire, Sire! There is an excellent country at the tip of Africa! Great lands to live in! It is called Ciskei."
"So what?"
"Uh... May we send some colonists there?"
"Do you have the money?"
"Uh, no sire..."
"Then start a trade post."

"Sire, Sire! Our fleets need a base in the west!"
"Do you have the money?"
"Uh, no sire. But a trade post won't do."
"Then wait."

"Sire, Sire! Our settlement is Senegal is now self supplying!"
"And the disease?"
"We don't know, but babies are being born faster than that people die of the disease!"

"Sire, Sire, there is a spot on one of the big islanmds in the west suited to settle."
"No diseases?"
"We don't know, but we do have volunteers! May we?"
"If we have the money, by all means...."

"Sire, Sire! We have a newe settlement!"
"Amazing! What is it called?"
"We cannot think of a name, sire"
"You cann't think of a name, moron?"
"Ok, sire, Moron it is!"

"Sire, Sire!"
"What's the matter?"
"Uh, nothing sire"
"Then why did you come?"
"We just discovered we have no allies, sire"
"Grr, may be I am the moron. Find out which of our neighbours neighbors has no alliance."
"No-one, sire. The only country without an alliance is a far aay country of savages called Russia."
"OK, send a diplomat to forge an alliance with Russia."

"Sire, sire! We have done as your requested! We have now have a settlement in Ciskei, and some tradeposts in the neighbourhood.
We also have a settlement in Diamentina!"
"What do you want with Dia, uh, diamore?"
"We want to explore more!"

"Sire, sire! We have discovered new islands"
"Didnt we have enough islands in the west?"
"But these are in the east! On the other side of Africa!"
"Ok, so what?"
"May we send settlers?"
"By all means, do. That is, if we have the money"
"Uh, no. Let's spill money on a trade post first."

"Sire, Sire, we now have a harbor on the island on the other site of Africa. The colonists called it Reunion."
"So what?"
"From there, our brave captains ventured east!"
"And fell of the world?"
"No, they discovered a whole new world called India."
"Let me guess - you need more money. Well I don't have."
"Ok, sire, trade posts, I know!"

"Sire, sire!"
"What island did you discover?"
"Yes, sire, uh, I mean none, sire. It's about your nieces."
"My nieces? Did they mess around with boys of low birth?"
"Yes sire, uh, I mean no sire, but it's time they marry"
"Then find suitable princes for them."
"Yes sire"

"Sire, sire! We have a trade post in India!"
"Why disturb me from my well earned sleep; we already have numerous trade posts on as many islands in the west?"
"Yes Sire, but the people in India are filthy rich! We can earn fortunes there! The spices they have...."
"Then by all means do! And one more thing: if the people in India have such excellent spices, we must let the rest of Europe share in this fortune. We may not be that greedy. Buy Spices in India, sell them in all of Europe!"

 

[unmerged(11600)]

Originally posted by CitizenPaul
Moron or Moron
"Sire, sire! We have done as your requested! We have now have a settlement in Ciskei, and some tradeposts in the neighbourhood.
We also have a settlement in Diamentina!"
"What do you want with Dia, uh, diamore?"
"We want to explore more!"

"What's that? We're somewhere called Dementia?"

-Pat

 

[unmerged(8545)]

"Sire, sire! Our diplomats succeeded in your mission!"
"What mission?"
"To marry your nieces! We married them to Spain, England, France, Austria, Scotland, Russia, Venice, Hungary, Bohemia, Ragusa, Brandenburg, Sweden, Denmark, Baden, Lorraine and Poland!"
"I didnt know I had so many nieces!"
"You didn't, so we recruited some sailors lasses to make up fo the difference. No one speaks Russian, Polish or any of the other gobblegobble, so no-one will notice."

"Sire, Sire! Our merchants are dying!"
"Where? Here in Lissabon?"
"No, in India!"
"Then send more!"

"Sire, Sire! Russia asks us to declare war on Kazan!"
"Make a formal declaration, they cannt reach us."

"Sire, Sire! Our merchants are still dying!"
"Where? Here in Lissabon?"
"No, still in India! And we don't have any more!"
"Then give up on India, and send them west again!"
"Aye aye captain! Uh, I mean: Aye aye, sire, Uh, I mean, Yes, Sire!"

"Sire, Sire! We have succeede in starting more trade posts in India!"

"Sire, Sire! Russia asks us to declare war on Kazan!"
"Make a formal declaration again, they cannt reach us."

"Sire, Sire! We now have a full grown colony in India!"

"Sire, Sire! Russia asks us to declare war on Golden Horde!"
"Make a formal declaration, they cannt reach us."

"Sire, Sire! The natives have revolted!"
"Which ones?"
"The morons!"
"Bad luck. Start another one somewhere in South America."

"Sire, Sire! Russia asks us to declare war on Golden Horde!"
"Make a formal declaration again, they cannt reach us."

"Sire, Sire! The Spanish have taken our tradeposts!"
"All?"
"No, jut a few. We cannt re-enter them with our troops either."
"Oh, I forgot to tell, I signed a deal with them so we have everything east of some line, they everything west."

"Sire, Sire! Russia asks us to assist them against Poland!"
"They can reach us, but will be to busy with Russia. Make that declaration."

"Sire, Sire! The colonists are dying!"
"In which colony? And did you think of sending a doctor?"
"Yes sire, uh no sire, I mean in Lissabon. They are crowding so much on the quays, they are pushing themselves in the harbor."

"Sire, Sire! We now have a fully established colonial town on Table, on the southern tip of Africa"
"Miniaturization has the future. Go on."

"Sire, Sire! Russia asks us to declare war on Astrakhan!"
"Make a formal declaration, they cannt reach us."

"Sire, Sire! There is a people called Inca on the other side of South America!"

"Sire, Sire! Russia asks us to declare war on Astrakhan!"
"Make a formal declaration again, they cannt reach us."

"Sire, Sire! There is a people called Mysore bordering our Indian colony! And they have huge armies massed to our borders!"
"Let's be friends. Invite them to our Alliance with Russia."

"Sire, Sire! Russia asks us to assist them against Poland and Sweden! They are allied against Russia!"
"They can reach us, but will be to busy with Russia. Make that declaration."

"Sire, Sire! The Swedes have landed in Tago!"
"Send in our armies!"
"We did, but they all got beaten!"
"Raise new troops! Cavalry! Artillery!"
"Sire, we did as you requested. The minister of finance took a loan. The Swedes have been beaten back."

"Sire, Sire! The rotten rats in Hyderabad, evil neighbours of our allies the Mysorians, have declared war on us!"
"Call on our ally Mysore!"
"Sire, Sire! The Persians are allied with Hyderabad, and so is something called the Mughal empire! They are burning all our Indian trade posts!"
"Swap maps with Mysore, sothat we know where they are. THen siege Hyderabad."
"Our allies have taken Hyderabad with our assistance!"
"Than sign a blank peace with them, we cann't afford more damage to our trade posts."

"Sire, Sire! We now have more trade posts on the South African shore!"

"Sire, Sire! Russia asks us to declare war on Crimea! And they are allied with Turkey!"
"Sign that declaration of war. Russia can take care of itself."

 

[Lord E]

Sire Sire looks like we have been in to many wars

Great AAR. It is so funny and makes me laugh be some of the comments from the advisor and the king. Just keep it up

 

[unmerged(8545)]

thx, lordE!

Portugal itself hasnt declared any war, but it stayed loyal to Russia. Russia, of course, declares war constantly. But most enemies are far away.

I havn't mentioned the peace treaties, AI Russia fights effective wars against it weka southern neighbours. Most were over with a few months or years.

 

[saskganesh]

this is amusing, like a good SNL skit. but unlike SNL, i hope theres a good punchline at the very end.

about what year r you at? 1550?

 

[unmerged(8545)]

fourth period 1600-1650

"Sire, Sire! Excellent tidings! Our tradepost in Tocuvo has been expanded to a colony!"
"Does that mean we have new diseases to combat?"

"Sire, Sire! The injuns in Guyana have gold, our captains just discovered!"
"Then colonize it!"
"We dont have the money for it! Besides, we must develop a province called Cuyuni first."

"Sire, Sire! Excellent tidings! Our tradepost in Cuyuni has been expanded to a colony!"
"Does that mean we have new diseases to combat?"

"Sire, Sire, Excellent tidings! Our tradepost in Aires has been expanded to a colony!"
"Uh, let me guess: new diseases?"
"Yes, Sire, I mean no Sire, everyone is feeling healthy!"

"Sire, Sire, Excellent tidings! The princess we married with Russia died!"
"What's so great about it?"
"We can send the Russians a new princess they can marry!"
"Do we have any princesses?"
"No, but I'll find some tavern wenches for you."
"Be careful, the Russians are our only allies!"
"Don't worry, I will send them to you to the palace. Promote them to baroness."

"Sire, Sire! Aires has grown to a colonial town!"

"Sire, Sire! There is gold south of Tucovo! And our explorers have travelled further south and met a kingdom called Inca!"
"Didnt the Spanish declare war on the a while back?"
"Right Sire, they were right, I mean: the Inca's bath in gold, dress in gold and sleep in gold!"

"Sire, Sire, we have discovered more islands! The islands are called Sumatra and Java"
"Sigh"
"But these islands yield more spices! Our traders can earn fortunes! And those morons called Dutchmen are also shipping around!"
"Then try send in our traders before they do!"

"Sire, the Poles also want a princess!"
"OK, send up a fishermans daghter."

"Sire, Sire! Guantanamo has grown to a colonial town!"
"Great, Perhaps we can send some of our prisoners there. Our prisons are overloaded."

"Sire, Sire! We just realized that a large number of german princes can also be married with our princess!"
"I understand, shop in the harbour for new lasses."

"Sire, Sire! We have established a trade post on an island called Sunda!"

"Sire, we have shipped the lasses to germany."

"Sire, Sire, there is a big continent to the North of Moron!"
"Sigh"
"May we send colonists there?"
"Do you have the money?"
"Un no sire."
"Uh Sire?"
"Yes?"
"What did we do in such cases?"
"We started trade posts"
"Oh yes, thank you sire!"

"Sire, Sire, the Germans are breaking our marriages!"
"What!? Did they find out?"
"No, they have turned to a herecy called protestantism!"

"Sire, Sire, the English and Dutch have already started tradeposts on that new continent north of Moron. They call it North America."
"Not a single spot left?"
"Oh yes, sire, we started trade posts in Bilox and Bayou"

"Sire, Sire, we have discovered a whole new continent south of Java."
"More settlers, I presume?"
"No Sire, its shores are completely ininhabitable"

"Sire, Sire, we have started trade posts in Roanake and Chesapeake in North America"

"Sire, Sire! Our captains can now better observe coasts!"
"Great, explore the shores of central America. Probably all Spanish"

"Sire, Sire! we have started rto colonize Bilox, Bayou and Chesapeake!"

"Sire, Sire! Excellent tidings! The colonists are no longer pushing each other in the harbour."
"Did you finally built a fence?"
"No Sire, the people no longer want to become colonists."
"How is that?"
"We don't know, Sire"
"OK, make the nation protestant! Many people will want to flee this heresy, se we get a new wavr of colonists!"

"Sire, Sire! Every one is talking rebellion!"

"Sire, Sire! There are rebels in Moron, Chesapeake, Aires, Tago and Oporto."

"Sire, Sire! There are rebels before the palace"
"Call the army!"

"Sire, Sire! There are rebels in the pala.. xglts!"
"That cockroach got what he deserved, Sire! From now on, we will guide you through this difficult period of Portugals existence!"
"OK, as long as you address me as Sire, Sire!"
"OK, but I want to choose the harbour lasses who get promoted to princess!"

"Sire, Sire! Our cashiers cannt count the money after we turned protestant!"
"Then we can safely spend money on a refinery in Diamentia, uh, Diamentina. Oh, and upgrade the fortresses here in our homecountry. The fortresses here are so minimal they look more like haystacks than like defense works."

 

[unmerged(10894)]

hehehe. Protestantism aye. Counter-Reformed Catolics also get an extra settler BTW. Cool AAR

 

[unmerged(8545)]

"Sire, sire, the French have declared war!"
"Prepare our army!"
"All 4000 men, sire?"
"What happened to the rest?"
"They went off searching for gold in Amazonia"

"Sire, sire! There is a French fleet before our coast!"
"Sent our navy!"
"Sire, our ship won a glorious victory!"

"Sire, sire, the French navy has returned!"
"Sent the navy again!"
"Sire, uh, it got beaten. A fisherman reported he saw both our two ships sink."

"Sire, sire! The French have landed in Oporto!"
"Prepare the army!"
"Sire, sire, we won a glorious victory!"
"Award the brave victors! Medals! Titles for the officers! Wine for the men!"
"Yes sire, of course sire! Wine for all 368 survivors, sire!"
"Recruit new troops!"
"Sire, sire, we have no money!"
"Lend it! Uh, on second thought, try to bribe the French for peace."
"Sire, sire, the French refused our 500 gold peace offer."

"Sire, sire! The French are storming the walls of Oporto!"
"Have they been upgraded as I ordered?"
"Yes sire!"
"Then they will hold!"
"Uh, sire, I am sorry to report..."

"Sire, sire! The French are burning all our tradingposts!"
"Do the same to theirs!"
"Sire, sire! We took a French town in North America!"

 

[unmerged(8545)]

"Sire, sire! The French have landed in Algarve!"
"Concentrate the army around the capitol! Take more loans! Recruit more troops!"
"Sire, we have done as your ordered. We took all loans we could get. We now have 30.000 men in the field to defend the capitol."
"Excellent!"

"Sire, sire! The French have taken the province of Algarve!"
Sigh....

"Sire, sire! The French have reinforced their armies. They now have 70.000 men in Oporto!"
Sigh....

"Sire, sire! They are marching on our capitol!"
"Defend the capitol!"
"Sire, I am sorry to report....

"Sire, sire! The French are sieging the capitol!"
"Offer them Oporto for peace!"
"Sire, the French want more..."

"Sire, sire! The French prepare to storm the walls of Lissabon!"
"Offer them 250 gold, Oporto and Algarve for peace..."
"Sire, Sire! They refused even this offer..."

"Sire, sire! They have breached the walls!"

"Sire, sire! They are at the gates of the palace!"

"Sire, sire! They.. " Blughugh....

 

[Lord E]

Sir, sir we are domed

What to do now CP, you are in some trubble?

 

[saskganesh]

hehe. no, im not laughing at your grisly end, btw.

you could surrender and play the french nominee for the throne...

sieur, sieur....

 

[unmerged(8545)]

Yes, Portugal is in serious trouble.

All of Portugal is occupied, and still France refuses peace for2 provinces.
Perhaps I just have to wait till France gets troubles elsewhere, move its armies to a different location, built up armies in my colonies, and reconquer my homelands.

Or perhaps I should sacrifice thre provinces.

I dont know. Anyway, one way or the other, I loose loads of points. Spain is the winner. So I dont know if I will continue this game.

 

[saskganesh]

when im in an overrun siutation like that (happens more often than not in a small country scenario) I call it a game ...

That one time I played Portugul i made sure that I was allied to Spain for the first 150 years. I closed the back door to Madrid (Estramadus) and they took care of penisular security. It worked well.

 

[unmerged(14374)]

You shouldn't have converted into protestant, everybody knows(trust me) that the portuguese people is afraid of new ideas. besides, the better alliance to do pllaying with Portugal is with France: They attack Spain for the North while we attack by west. Besides, Spain is the only threath to Portuguese security.

 

[unmerged(8545)]

hi JoaoII,

welcome to this forum!

Yes, I agree it was a mistake. Actually, I seem to have made several. Another was concentarting on exploration and settlement way too much.

That left Portugal defenseless. Army and fleet were too small. With the relations with France and Spain both detoriating fast (though catholisism was at max tolerance) it was a recipe for disaster.

Neglecting my alliance was a third error. Russia jumped out of the alliance when Mysore got into trouble. I forgot to invite it back.

I have the impression that countries are more likely to declare war on you when the combined might of you and yoru allies is smaller than when your alliance is stronger. But I am no way sure about that.

 

[saskganesh]

Originally posted by CitizenPaul
I have the impression that countries are more likely to declare war on you when the combined might of you and yoru allies is smaller than when your alliance is stronger. But I am no way sure about that.

vultures. they do like to gang bang if given a chance.

 

[unmerged(14485)]

Originally posted by JoaoII
You shouldn't have converted into protestant, everybody knows(trust me) that the portuguese people is afraid of new ideas. besides, the better alliance to do pllaying with Portugal is with France: They attack Spain for the North while we attack by west. Besides, Spain is the only threath to Portuguese security.

My government failed, and was FORCED to become protestant, so I don't know about u, but this idea is a little off the facts...

 

[Morpheus506]

The good thing about you concentrating on colonization so much is that unless France gets like three Colonial Dynamism events in a row and turns Protestant, it's not gonna get anywhere near taking over all your colonies, and with the colonies you still get $ which you can use to send more colonists in order to - ::gasp for air:: - make cities where you can build up troops in order to kick the Frenchies out of Portugal.


(Hey, I made Corporal! Yeah!)