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canonized

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bowl of soup said:
Welsh Sheep Eye Soup - only found in the Flemish kitchen and best served with beer

Oy Gevalt . I think I'm going to have to down some extra earl gray and watercress sandwiches to wash that taste out of my mouth .
 

Murmurandus

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Also on the subject of spelling and Llywelyn:

Chymer a 'ch bugger!

A all areithia Cymraeg anyway!

:D

EDIT: Oh, and don't get Flemish Beer involved! :mad: ;)
 

Murmurandus

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Oh, and I update waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay faster than canonized... :p

*********************************************************

A short History of the Life of Pope Murmurandus I the Pathetic – Part II.

Did I mention the sheep? Yes, it seems I did. I should tell you about the sheep and Llywelyn, I really should, but my vows just don’t allow it. Although it’s so tempting… Well, let me just say that Llywelyn had extraordinary feelings for his sheep, which he called Sue-Ellen. Whenever you saw Llywelyn, you saw Sue-Ellen and vice versa and in different pos… erm. I must refrain from further comments.

Llywelyn and Sue-Ellen
cey0009l.jpg


So, Whisper killed Benedictus XI (or was it XII) by accident; by dropping Sue-Ellen’s eye in his bowl of soup in stead of Llywelyn’s. Benedictus had a heart attack and died. Twelve days later Whisper became Pope Murmurandus I. He virtually had no opposition as that opposition was bribed, murdered, blackmailed, slaughtered, threatened or killed in accidents or incidents and because Llywelyn was full of grief as Whisper had killed the sheep fearing repercussions for his previous devious acts. He had to get rid of Sue-Ellen as soon as possible, which he did by selling her on the market as kebab… I must admit it was a success and the meat was delicious and, mmmm, the garlic sauce and, mmm, I wish I had another piece, mmm… Excuse me, my Lord, back to business.

Kebab
kebab_03.jpg


But while Murmurandus was enjoying and utterly abusing his new powers, Llywelyn overcame his loss and went searching for a new sheep and for his revenge. He found the sheep, Beyoncé, quite quickly and the revenge was following not much later.

Beyoncé
black_sheep.jpg


Llywelyn developed a first cunning plan, involving a great number of lists and a lot of intrigue (14), but which at the end played no role as Murmurandus was too stupid and pathetic to be tricked. So Llywelyn carried on and developed another cunning plan, just slightly less cunning than the previous one, but again Murmurandus escaped. The third cunning plan was so cunningly plain it did work.

One evening Llywelyn just stood behind Murmurandus on top of some stairs. He pushed and that was that.

The stairs
wt2-stair-s.jpg
 

Kurt_Steiner

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Gosh.

Did the stairs suffered any kind of injury?
 

Kurt_Steiner

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bowl of soup said:
There probably are some beer stains...

I can stand that, provided that the beer had no alcohol. Well, even in that case I can stand that, too. However, how Cardinal Blackadder is going to be know from now on? Saint Edmund Blackadder? Saint Ol' Backsladder?

And poor Baldrick, who is kicking him now? No one thinks about him... Just the Pope doing that, the Pope saying that, the Pope asking for a Crusade... So, We want Pope Baldrick! When do we want him?!?! Now!

I have to give up drinking coffe.
 

Murmurandus

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This has never been shown before: a third update in one day!!! :eek:

*********************************************************

A short History of the Life of Pope Murmurandus I the Pathetic – Part III.

Now, I realize this tale is short. I admit I’ve been seeing this assignment as a punished to be honest. But now that the story is being written it doesn’t seem that wrong, not to mention it is fun to write.

So let me flesh it out somewhat.

On the disgusting acts of Whisper and Llywelyn in service of Cardinal Blackadder:

One day Whisper and Llywelyn ware tasked to threaten an elderly Scottish Cardinal named Ayesthinius. The poor old chap managed to get in the way of Blackadder in his rise to power and had to warned about the consequences.

Cardinal Ayeshtinius
cardinal3.jpg


So the diabolic duo set of the cold and inhospitable north when they were looking for shelter for the night. They had just arrived in a small village when they noticed the ‘Independent Scotsman’, a poor and filthy tavern filled with obnoxious kilt-wearers. The drunk barman who apparently was the owner said there was only one room available. This already caused much grievance between the two maniacs, but as there was no alternative they could do nothing but accept. Unfortunately when the barman asked for their names, Whisper not only gave their true names – the moron – but also managed to misspell Llywelyn.

The ‘Independent Scotsman’
lebanon-025a.jpg


Obnoxious Scotsmen
scottsmen.jpg


This is a transcript of their ‘conversation’:

- “… and this is Llewelyn…”
- “Llewelyn, Llewelyn??”
- “Oh, I’m sorry, Llywylen…”
- “WHAT?!”
- “Llewelyn?”
- “WHAT???!!!”
- “Lly… LLe… Oh, what the heck… Lily, I just can’t seem to remember your name!”
- “Why, you little twit! How on earth can you forget my name? We’ve been working together for almost three bloody long years and you can’t remember my name! You, you, you, moron!”
- “Hey, I said, I’m sorry, Welsh sheep shagger!”
- “Come again?”
- “Did I say something? Did I say something?”
- “Yes, you did, you %*$£8!!##@%...”

After which Llywelyn pulled his dagger and assaulted Whisper. Whisper however managed to escape by running away, screaming ‘the English are coming!’, pointing to Llywelyn, which turned the entire tavern population against the Welshman.

**********************************************************

If you appreciate this stuff, I guess I can write some more, while we wait for the next real pope... :D
 

canonized

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Gosh a third update in one day , I'm appalled by your alacrity and disgusted by your diligence ! for shame ! XD
 

LlywelynII

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It definitely lowers the bar from canonized and makes it less intimidating for the newcomers. :D

Besides, what's a story about the medieval papacy without a few homicidal antipopes?

EDIT: I admit I am curious how you propose to continue your story, however, considering you've killed off your antipope...
 
Last edited:

Murmurandus

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Time for feedback like those real AAR-writers do:

@ bowl of soup: "May an eye fall in you!" :mad:

Glad you appreciate my useless efforts... :D

@ Kurt Steiner: Both Blackadder and Baldrick get mentioned later, so no comment... :D

Oh, and the stairs are fine...

@ canonized: not only took it about 3 months to finish your tenure, it also had an enormous amount of text like your Timelines Thingie... :mad: (bad joke)

@ Llewe... Llyew... LLy... Lily: A cunning plan indeed... ;)

Also I'm fully aware of the difference in level, thank you already... :mad:

As for your EDIT: read my lips: Flashbacks... (as in Part III if you didn't notice)

And that's my cunning plan... :p

Post Scriptum: Even this feedback looks unprofessional... :eek:o

Post Post Scriptum: Lily, I read you studied Latin in the Timelines interview, so you should be able to value a particular part in my sig... :p
 

unmerged(60841)

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I do love a good kebab..
 

LlywelynII

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Murmy said:
Post Post Scriptum: Lily, I read you studied Latin in the Timelines interview, so you should be able to value a particular part in my sig... :p

Thank you! That reminds me:

“Dico vobis: Ita gaudium erit in caelo super uno peccatore paenitentiam agente quam super nonaginta novem iustis, qui non indigent paenitentia.” - Someone who keeps forgetting most of us haven't memorized the high mass & Vulgate...

[So] I say to y'all: []There will be [more] joy in heaven over one sinner doing penance than ninety-nine just men who suffer it not. Paraphrase from Second Luke, XV.x.

"Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes." - Murmurandus

If you can read this, you're over-educated.

"Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam." - Bona et Clydiusque

I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
 

Murmurandus

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:D

I have another good one:

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?

EDIT: on topic (more or less) I can fabricate another update by early next week, so if you don't have a real pope available I take it I can continue poluting this Collage... :cool:
 

canonized

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Llywelyn said:
[So] I say to y'all: []There will be [more] joy in heaven over one sinner doing penance than ninety-nine just men who suffer it not. Paraphrase from Second Luke, XV.x.

So THAT'S what it really meant ... and here the old guy told me it was something like "When you die , can I have your CD collection ?"

But yes , that translation is MUCH more touching and appropriate !
 

LlywelynII

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Murmurandus said:
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?

Isn't that a scroll in your toga? or are you just happy to see me?

Fer chrissakes, people, post translations of your Latiny goodness!

EDIT: on topic (more or less) I can fabricate another update by early next week, so if you don't have a real pope available I take it I can continue poluting this Collage... :cool:

So someone please volunteer and stop him! :D
 

canonized

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This (offsite link) should stop him !
 

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  • Sengoku
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Victoria 2
  • 200k Club
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • March of the Eagles
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis 4: Emperor
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Cities in Motion
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
canonized said:
This (offsite link) should stop him !

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Rick Astley!!!!!!!

*faints*
 
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