They are on track of most twisted, dangerous conspiracy ever known to mankind. Beware!!! 
Collage of CAARdinals: An interactive history of the Papal States
- Thread starter LlywelynII
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Tskb18 said:
Good point...
thrashing mad said:They are on track of most twisted, dangerous conspiracy ever known to mankind. Beware!!!
Well, at least this is not my fault
JimboIX said:
Surely you remember the Fatimid sheikhdom of Sjaelland from, well, every Ck game ever?
Other than grat's, of course, but he was editing the AI into such submission it didn't have the chance.
j.
Paris, France. 2002. The Louvre.
“Mr. Hanky, do you really expect me to believe a vampire was responsible for the murder of a Catholic saint who was supposedly a Pope whose existence has been suppressed by French Huguenots and the Roman Catholic Church because of his proto-feminist views?”
“No, inspector. Let’s not be silly. Obviously the vampire was only trying to prolong the war with Fatamid Egypt, for reasons that will remain hidden in the mists of time.”
“Then who, exactly, murdered the Pope? And who murdered this priest?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. I don’t know, and no one else knows either. While he was on his way to the Council of Trent, a riot broke out and looted the countryside, causing the venue to be moved.”
“But before he could arrive, Pope Mary Magdalene died under mysterious circumstances.”
“The rest, as they say, is history. As the centuries wore on, nuns, prioresses, and anchorites would be witness to miracles in the name of Pope Mary Magdalene. In 1453, he was declared a saint. But when the Reformation hit, it became convenient to suppress the full scope of his attempts at reforms. Furthermore, after the Anti-Pope fiasco, he was written out of the Papal lineage.”
“The Anti-Pope fiasco? Do you mean the Papal Schism?”
“No, this was earlier. In 1267, a group of alchemists claimed to have created an anti-pope. The danger to the Papacy was so great that the Teutonic Order was called in to kill them all. Had they managed to smuggle the anti-pope into the Vatican, he may have come into contact with Pope Clement IV, resulting in a powerful release of energy that could have leveled Rome.”
Leonardo Da Vinci’s conception of the Anti-Pope, entitled Exterminate!
“So, Mr. Hanky, you mean that after all these years, no one knows who murdered the Pope? What does this have to do with the monsignor?”
“Over the years, members of Magnum Opus have occasionally tried to bring the truth of Pope Mary Magdalene to light. However, they always die under mysterious circumstances. Sometimes, the circumstances are not so mysterious, as when Archbishop Richelieu tried to exterminate all the Roman Catholics in Normandy. It appears, however, that this murder is one of the more mysterious ones.”
“Indeed, Mr. Hanky. You may go for zee moment, but please do not leave Paris for a few days.
“Of course, inspector. I still have my lecture at the University of Paris to give.”
“Vhat is the lecture’s title?”
“It is called ‘Foucault, Derrida, Cixous, Irigaray, and Lacan: Why the French Intellectual Establishment is a bunch of Boobs’.”
“Very well, Mr. Hanky. Go ahead and let yourself out of the museum. I will return in a bit with the forensics team.”
The police inspector walked off. Thomas Hanky peered at the Louis XIV portrait. His eyes glanced at something odd. He approached the painting. Could it be? Is this the answer to the centuries old secret? Maybe if he just gets a bit closer…
Poison gas emits from the eye holes of the painting. Too late, Thomas Hanky realizes that he has become another victim in the suppression of Pope Mary Magdalene’s legacy. As he drops to the ground, the painting opens and the Pope’s assassin steps out. It was so obvious. Why didn’t he think of that? Muttering something about “They stole it from me…” the assassin slinks out of the museum.
“Mr. Hanky, do you really expect me to believe a vampire was responsible for the murder of a Catholic saint who was supposedly a Pope whose existence has been suppressed by French Huguenots and the Roman Catholic Church because of his proto-feminist views?”
“No, inspector. Let’s not be silly. Obviously the vampire was only trying to prolong the war with Fatamid Egypt, for reasons that will remain hidden in the mists of time.”
“Then who, exactly, murdered the Pope? And who murdered this priest?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. I don’t know, and no one else knows either. While he was on his way to the Council of Trent, a riot broke out and looted the countryside, causing the venue to be moved.”
“But before he could arrive, Pope Mary Magdalene died under mysterious circumstances.”
“The rest, as they say, is history. As the centuries wore on, nuns, prioresses, and anchorites would be witness to miracles in the name of Pope Mary Magdalene. In 1453, he was declared a saint. But when the Reformation hit, it became convenient to suppress the full scope of his attempts at reforms. Furthermore, after the Anti-Pope fiasco, he was written out of the Papal lineage.”
“The Anti-Pope fiasco? Do you mean the Papal Schism?”
“No, this was earlier. In 1267, a group of alchemists claimed to have created an anti-pope. The danger to the Papacy was so great that the Teutonic Order was called in to kill them all. Had they managed to smuggle the anti-pope into the Vatican, he may have come into contact with Pope Clement IV, resulting in a powerful release of energy that could have leveled Rome.”
Leonardo Da Vinci’s conception of the Anti-Pope, entitled Exterminate!
“So, Mr. Hanky, you mean that after all these years, no one knows who murdered the Pope? What does this have to do with the monsignor?”
“Over the years, members of Magnum Opus have occasionally tried to bring the truth of Pope Mary Magdalene to light. However, they always die under mysterious circumstances. Sometimes, the circumstances are not so mysterious, as when Archbishop Richelieu tried to exterminate all the Roman Catholics in Normandy. It appears, however, that this murder is one of the more mysterious ones.”
“Indeed, Mr. Hanky. You may go for zee moment, but please do not leave Paris for a few days.
“Of course, inspector. I still have my lecture at the University of Paris to give.”
“Vhat is the lecture’s title?”
“It is called ‘Foucault, Derrida, Cixous, Irigaray, and Lacan: Why the French Intellectual Establishment is a bunch of Boobs’.”
“Very well, Mr. Hanky. Go ahead and let yourself out of the museum. I will return in a bit with the forensics team.”
The police inspector walked off. Thomas Hanky peered at the Louis XIV portrait. His eyes glanced at something odd. He approached the painting. Could it be? Is this the answer to the centuries old secret? Maybe if he just gets a bit closer…
Poison gas emits from the eye holes of the painting. Too late, Thomas Hanky realizes that he has become another victim in the suppression of Pope Mary Magdalene’s legacy. As he drops to the ground, the painting opens and the Pope’s assassin steps out. It was so obvious. Why didn’t he think of that? Muttering something about “They stole it from me…” the assassin slinks out of the museum.
Secret Master said:
hahahahah... er, [holds his nose to get a better effect] ohnohnohnohn!!! :rofl:
SM, vous et almost az funny az ze Jerry Louie isn't!
In other news:
Next up is canadiancreed, or failing a reply in the near future, canonized.
j.
Secret Master said:
Nobody told him that when you look at the fall, the fall looks at you also...
Wow great stuff! I would comment on a line I thought particularly fun, but I won't. It's too much!
Now for some sidetracking: I should keep my promise and start on my first AAR. By popular demand this will be a Seljuk game with a handicap each week. Trouble is I don´t know what to do to be able to play the Seljuks. So anyone who knows what I should do please PM me (so there will be no further hijacking of this thread) and I'll get it up and running.
All right just one thing:
You just made a friend
Edit: Nevermind
Now for some sidetracking: I should keep my promise and start on my first AAR. By popular demand this will be a Seljuk game with a handicap each week. Trouble is I don´t know what to do to be able to play the Seljuks. So anyone who knows what I should do please PM me (so there will be no further hijacking of this thread) and I'll get it up and running.
All right just one thing:
Secret Master said:
You just made a friend
Edit: Nevermind
Last edited:
Pity about the Pope. No one sees rioting peasants coming. Except Wat Tyler. Fewer still suspect Smeagol..very funny update.
Crazy and funny as hell Secret Master :rofl:
bowl of soup - Check out in CK-mods forum, maybe there`s tutorial. Good luck with your AAR, i`ll be subscribed for sure
bowl of soup - Check out in CK-mods forum, maybe there`s tutorial. Good luck with your AAR, i`ll be subscribed for sure
Damn I'm just too lazy checking the mod forum I found a mod that would do it in just one minute. Anyway I think I'll start tonight if I'm sobered up. Thanks TM
Nice work, and I like the "Antipope"
I'd also like to sign up to eventually do another Pope, Mr. Welsh Guy.*
__________
*Assuming you're a guy.**
**Llywelyn is a male name, after all.***
***But you can never be too sure.
I'd also like to sign up to eventually do another Pope, Mr. Welsh Guy.*
__________
*Assuming you're a guy.**
**Llywelyn is a male name, after all.***
***But you can never be too sure.
And the silliness that is Secret Master comes to a close. Bravo! Now ze truth about Mary Magdalaine iz zer for all to zee.
Now, I would like to see the movie of this book also... It will definately be better than the Da Vinci Code...
It will definately be better than the Da Vinci Code... grayghost said:And the silliness that is Secret Master comes to a close. Bravo! Now ze truth about Mary Magdalaine iz zer for all to zee.
I feel as if I were in Discworld, dunno why :rofl:
Long time reader, only just registered though! So 'Hello'. Quick question - whilst I can make the Papacy playable, how do I get the Papacy to be Papal Controller - ie, so as to gain powers of communication and crusade? I tried changing Papal Controller to Anselm himself in a 1066 save file but it made it St Boris of the County of Rostov, deceased in 1021 or whatever.
Is it possible to be Pope and Papal Controller? Is it possible to keep that within the line of Popes? Or is it a case of exiting and reloading as controller, enacting your decisions then exiting and reloading in the new save as Pope?
Is it possible to be Pope and Papal Controller? Is it possible to keep that within the line of Popes? Or is it a case of exiting and reloading as controller, enacting your decisions then exiting and reloading in the new save as Pope?
Somebody will doubtless correct me. i think you need a Catholic ruler with really high piety.
(maybe the highest? but the AI sometimes assigns it to strange people)
Anyway - to test my theory...
Press the F12 key. type “piety” without quotation marks. Then select the current papal controller. type “die”.
If he doesn't drop dead and your guy become the controller... then i'm wrong. Which may well be.
Order of Palpatine... :rofl:
(maybe the highest? but the AI sometimes assigns it to strange people)
Anyway - to test my theory...
Press the F12 key. type “piety” without quotation marks. Then select the current papal controller. type “die”.
If he doesn't drop dead and your guy become the controller... then i'm wrong. Which may well be.
Order of Palpatine... :rofl: