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Originally posted by Peter Ebbesen
Chopsticks in the Mist

...Meanwhile, some nine militia divisions which had been on extended leave in the former Sinkiang, struck a blow in the fight against international terrorism by invading Afghanistan, a fitting tribute to the stunning foresight of Chiang Kai-shek.

ROTFLOL!:D Just plain funny!:cool: I guess George W. Bush would be happy now.;) Oh, but on the other hand, the US would have ceased to exist by his time, right?:p
 
Yes, more tales from the Land of Smiling Faces...

...or should I say: Land of Laughing My Ass Off) :D :D :D
 
Originally posted by Nikolai II
<SNIPPED LEGITIMATE REASON FOR INVADING MONGOLIA>
There.

Just copy and paste when applicable ;)

Mongolia is a member of the Comintern, and, as you know, Chiang Kai-shek was buddies with the USSR until he was bribed by the economic strongmen of Shanghai to break the ties back in 1927, and who knows, they might join forces again against the powers of darkness*. And apart from that, Uncle Joe has an awful lot of divisions. he keeps sending tank divisions up and down the border. I'll swear I saw four tankists and a dog patrolling Mongolia as well :D


* The non-Uncle-Joe forces of darkness, that is.
 
Chopsticks in the Mist

...The Decadent Puppet of the Miscalculating British in Baghdad was the next to suffer the domino-effect of Chiang Kai-shek, but the British lifted not a finger to protect their investment, and Mighty China became more than self-sufficient in oil, leading the wise government to halt trade in oil a few months later, this grace period of buying unused oil instituted so as not to harm the other suppliers unnecessarily

"In other words, the government forgot to cancel some trade deals and wasted the tax-payers' money on purchasing oil which was immediately dumped, Master?"

"Not quite, disciple. To write that would imply that the government had committed a mistake. As well claim that the resources and time invested in re-inventing Hydrogenation and Plastic in order to eventually (many years down the road) be capable of producing oil and rubber synthetically could have been put to much better use in discovering land warfare doctrines or infantry advances now that China was more than self-sufficient in oil, and nearly self-sufficent in rubber from the possessions in Indochina. Ha!"

"But that would be the truth, Master!"

"Disciple?"

"Yes, Master?"

"What did I tell you about governments, the fallibility of?"

"The Chinese government is infallible. Foreign governments are fallible"

"So?"

"I see, Master."

...With the plight of the suffering and downtrodden of the world foremost in his mind, Chiang Kai-shek next decided to put Turkey under his protection and war was declared on January 12th. Initial results were promising, but the invasion of China by the dastardly, treacherous, westernized, perfidious, and technologically superior in a decadent-sort-of-way Japanese on March 6th, 1937, was unexpected to say the least. Fortunately, the Japanese armies were mainly stationed in Manchuria and Korea, and tried to drive headfirst through the six entrenched militia of the Northern Command, which was commanded by Field Marshal Ho Ying-Chin (He Of The Little Tank Brigade). As reinforcements were pushed to the line, fully twenty militia divisions and a pre-war tank brigade were all that defended the four province long border. In the face of such unwarranted aggression, there could be only one response: The creation of an elite army to combat the aggressors. Not one, nor two, nor three, but FOUR brigades of Mountaineers with the most modern anti-air equipment known to China were commissioned and the study of the lessons of WWI was begun. Though casualties on the northern front were substantial, Chiang Kai-shek knew that once the mighty elite army was ready, the Japanese would rue the day they invaded. They would all be swept away by the unstoppable tide of the four mountaineer divisions, without exception, and with no mercy shown for the horses and camp followers. The 21 infantry, 9 cavalry, 2 motorized, and 3 mechanized divisions wouldn't stand a chance against the mountaineers with militia support. That, at least, was the plan, and how could such an audacious plan possibly fail? Only the utmost efforts of evildoers would even stand a chance, and could thus be disregarded. Meanwhile, the 12 remaining militia divisions not tied down in the defense of Bangkok, Guangzhou, Nanking, and Shanghai, the two infantry divisions, and the entire air-force, including the naval bomber division, continued the war against Turkey.

...To be continued...
 
Ah, a two front war. No one wins a two front war unless he is the master d.:cool:

Joe
 
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We have always been at war with Eastasia....:D

So at about triple the size you were a year ago, what is your IC max at now? And can you count the amount of techs you now have on more than one hand? :D
 
Originally posted by Peter Ebbesen
Additionally, since this is only my second game, I'm bound to make plenty of mistakes. If I'm very lucky, I'll make enough to lose the game, which would be nice for a change. :)



you have had many fun lines in your posts, but this is by far the funniest. Funny because you believe that you will have to play like a bumbling idiot to lose to the AI, and funny because that is the exact truth to it.
 
Originally posted by John Poole
I support this AAR minus 88%!

I noticed alot of countries get that minus WE from time to time :D what exactly does that mean anyway?

Apart from really abhorring war one could trace it down to revulsion over the acts of the supposed 'good guys' being so much more vile than that of the 'goons'.

You can't very well build a public sentiment for support of the defence of China, when it is raping and pillaging its way all across a continent. And since China probably is nominally democratic, then all democracies become anti-upset.:p

Hmm.. since Japan begins as a democracy, could one play havoc as a democracy until election (or election No2) to create a -war% tally to abuse after shifting across the line? If so I hope it will be fixed, but meanwhile...:D
 
Re: Re: Chopsticks in the Mist

Originally posted by KrisKannon
you have had many fun lines in your posts, but this is by far the funniest. Funny because you believe that you will have to play like a bumbling idiot to lose to the AI, and funny because that is the exact truth to it.
Yeah, well, at the time I wrote the very first post, I wasn't aware of the fact that the AI nations would completely ignore my acts of aggression against others.


I even tried to see if I could join either the Axis, Allied, or Comintern alliances by asking in order to drag the alliances into war with me, but none of them would have me. :rolleyes:
 
Chopsticks in the Mist

...Though the Turkish army was no slouch, the brilliant leadership of the foremost Chinese military minds succeeded in bypassing the Turkish army with a a small force, while the main Turkish army was bogged down slaughtering militia, leading to the eventual annexation of the creation of Attaturk following the capture of Istanbul, April 25th, 1937. Meanwhile, the Japanese army had managed to punch trough the defenders of the mountainous province of Datong despite the heroic efforts of the defenders, long may they live in our memories, and the south of China was stripped of the last remaining militia divisions to contain the advancing armies while awaiting the training of the four elite mountaineer divisions... This called for decisive action, and the great Chiang Kai-shek was never one to tarry when danger called: So he invaded Bulgaria.

"A tad risky, Master?"

"Perhaps, disciple. Perhaps."

...A nation that had long been an offense to Chinese sensibilities and the nobility of man. In fact, in scholarly circles there is some doubt as to whether Bulgaria should actually be considered a nation at all, since it was peopled by a crude barbarian tribe, the Bulgars.

"My head hurts, Master"

"This will fuse at least 12% of the remaining brain cells of a censor without special training, disciple, according to prevalent theory."

...The battle of Varna (May 11th-24th) was the bloodiest clash of armies of 1937. Under the personal command of Field Marshal Chiang Kai-shek, 15 militia, two infantry, and three cavalry divisions took the field. They were faced by the multitudes of the Bulgarian Horde and a Horde Airforce as well, and many were the deeds of bravery committed by the heroic Chinese armies in the face of the savage attacks, and many the acts of treachery by the tribesmen. But justice prevailed. On May 24th the sun shined bright on the battlefield as the tribes broke at last, and the remaining cavalry were sent in pursuit. Mopping up the remnants would take a month, but few were the casualties inflicted by the craven primitives during this time. Yet they had done enough damage already, causing more than 50% casualties on the 20 Chinese divisions. Fortunately, there were always more brave peasants ready to make a living in the army of Mighty China.

"I thought they were conscripts, Master?"

"Why I put up with you, disciple, I shall never know."

"Well, there was that incident with the CENSORED and the CENSORED whom you EXPLETIVE DELETED repeatedly, but don't worry, my mouth is sealed."

"Shut up!"

...For some reason or another, the new neighbours in Romainia, Yugoslavia, and Greece, decided to heavily patrol their borders with China in a menacing way. But the benevolent, humble, and forgiving, leadership chose to take no offense to the 40 divisions the three nations had mustered. Rather, the Chinese armies were withdrawn so as not to cause offense, and redeployed in North-Western China some time later, together with the four elite Mountaineer divisions. Additionally, three reinforced artillery tank brigades with the finest pre-war technology that China could offer, were being raised and would be ready for action come November. But, for now, the 48 militia divisions reinforced by the mountaineers would have to suffice. Following bloody battles Datong was retaken in June and it became obvious that assaulting the approximately 24 front-line battalions of the Japanese army would be suicide. An alternative approach was sought - and found. A separate declaration of war was delivered to the perfidious puppets in Manchuko, and two thirds of all the armies of China were sent in a headlong dash through the one temporarily understrength province in the Japanese defense, Qiqihar. Once taken, the defenders of the key provinces of Manchuko were outnumbered ten to one, and fell quickly to the righteous forces of retribution. The main army of China had thus managed to circumvent the Japanese armies, and in was quickly deployed to contain them, while the cavalry contingent overran Korea. And thus, on July 26th, the armies of Japan were caught in three pockets: Hailar-Oroqen Zizhiqi (three divisions), Linxi-Fuxin-Changchun (eight divisions), and Daliam-Sinuiju (five divisions). A further eight or ten Japanse divisions were routing. Of these three pockets, only the southern one could be supplied by the Japanese. Only mopping up remained. Softened by air strikes from the mighty airforce of China and out of supply, the pockets fell one by one to the armies of Chiang Kai-shek. By September 5th the two northern pockets had been cleansed, and by September 18th, the last sixteen Japanese divisions surrendered in Fuxin. It was a great victory: In one season Japan had lost 17 infantry, 8 cavalry, 2 motorized, and 2 mechanized divisions, and only retained six divisions for the defense of their home isles. Well, six divisions and a relatively humongous fleet, but their ability to project power into China was gone, never to return. Following two years of fierce fighting, it should come as no surprise that the military leadership had grown very experienced. The army boasted seven Field Marshals, the most skilled of whom were Chiang Kai-Shek(9), but the others weren't half bad either (7/7/5/3/2/2). Additionally, many Generals had gained experience, and the Air Marshall of China was quite good (4). And to top it off, it had only cost 600 manpower out of 5000!

"What utter disgracefulness it is to measure the lives of men in abstract units of manpower, Master!"

"It is government policy, disciple. Leave it be."


...To be continued...


-------------
OOC: Methinks that it is soon time for some IC and tech statistics. Not that there is all that much to report concerning tech, really, since China starts with exactly 0 techs, and the first techs are pretty expensive, but still. Things are looking up. And soon the three artillery pre-war tank divisions will be ready...

Ps: Don't ask why I don't just load a single division on a ship and conquer all of Japan. The answer is obvious and two-fold. 1) Japan has a navy. 2) I cannot build transport ships yet. (Of these, I'll have to admit, that 2) is the prime reason)
 
Originally posted by Peter Ebbesen
Chopsticks in the Mist
Ps: Don't ask why I don't just load a single division on a ship and conquer all of Japan. The answer is obvious and two-fold. 1) Japan has a navy. 2) I cannot build transport ships yet. (Of these, I'll have to admit, that 2) is the prime reason)
You can always climb through the tech tree for another four years and drop a couple of paratrooper divisions over Tokyo :D
 
I wonder if a small number of his transport ships could make quick runs between Pusan Korea and the Japanese Islands of Kyushu and Honshu without being intercepted by the Japanese Navy. Does the AI patrol this bit of water?