The Knautschlings - part 14
Hassassawhat ?
Welcome to the newest chapter of the Knautschling tale which introduces a brand-new colored dialogue system.
The people with talking roles in this chapter:
We have Waldemar Knautschling, King of Denmark in
red and his spymistress Klara Poth in
orange.
Furthermore there is female shady figure wearing silk gowns in
purple and a male shady figure wearing linen in
green.
In late autumn 1179 the shady figure wearing silk gowns arrives at the danish royal palace. She is obviously freezing
as you can see her whole body shiver. But she is also envied by a lot of women for her outfit.
Because she has some papers with a royal seal she is led in front of Waldemar.
Dear King Waldemar, I travelled a long way to request your aid in the name of my liege, please hear me out.
What kind of aid do you request from Denmark ?
This shames me, but we need the help of someone else´s hassassin´s guild.
Hassassawhat ?
I think I may have heard that word before somewhere.
Your hassassin´s guild, you do have one, do you ?
At this point Waldemar leans over to Klara and whispers to her:
I think she is high on mushrooms.
Ouch, an anachronistic LSD reference just for a cheap joke, the quality of this tale´s
storytelling is not getting better nowadays, I can tell you that much my dear readers.
Speak then lady, what is the request for our hassassin´s guild ? We might have something similar.
My liege requests help in the elimination of the Duke of Cyprus.
Yeah we have your hassassassathing, it is called the danish army
And so the dialogue continues for a bit until Waldemar grasps the nature of her request.
Finally he agrees to send two warriors for a sum of one thousand ducats.
Afterwards Waldemar is told off by his wife for not trading for her silken outfits instead.
Oh and also the two warriors do never return, only god knows how horribly they failed with their pathetic attempt of an assassination.
While some months later Waldemar increases his efforts to get a fellow Knautschling on the papal throne
his wife is still pissed about the silken outfit she is not having.
Also Waldemar is asked to help in a war
but refuses for some strange reason.
The reason being strange because it is not one of Waldemar´s world.
It is that the player controlling Bavaria in the videogame that Waldemar is a part in is actually absent.
For the same reason he refuses to participate in that same war when he is asked to join it some more times.
Instead he watches his plan to get a fellow Knautschling on the papal throne unfold perfectly
and immediately asks him to declare his father Faste a saint.
The pope naturally welcomes the idea, being a Knautschling himself.
In return the pope urges Waldemar to strengthen his crusading efforts
and while strengthening non-existent efforts would not have been particularly difficult Waldemar still does not do it.
He signs some fancy papers and then is done with it.
We are now at the point where the shady figure wearing linen arrives at the palace.
He does not catch everyone´s attention like the lady in silk earlier, but he is surely noticed.
As he is finally granted an audience with Waldemar the conversation unfolds.
King Waldemar, my liege offers these coins for a favor.
And he ties open a brown bag to flash it´s shiny golden content.
Very well then, stranger, what is this favor you are asking for ?
My liege seeks assistance from your hassassin´s guild.
I know exactly what you are talking about.
We need to dispose of a child that would inherit the throne of Cyprus.
Cyprus again huh ?
Why are you saying again ? My liege did not tell me he approached you before.
The king has a weird sense of humour sometimes.
I was not joking.
Yes you were.
The last line is pronounced sharply by Klara. Waldemar does not understand what she is up to,
but he is quite focused on getting these shiny golden coins so he decides to drop the issue.
Good, Knud over there will assassinate your child.
But he is clearly not a member of your hassassin´s guild !
Yes he is.
He wears a huge two-handed axe on his back.
I know, last time I sent someone with a one-handed axe and it did not work out.
Quite reluctantly the shady figure agrees to purchase the services of Knud the bare-chested viking assassin.
And it turns out it was a good purchase. Intricate plots with poison and daggers are well known and
often prevented in the mediterranean area, but having a mad viking tear a little child´s
spine in two with a two-handed axe obviously took the southerners by surprise.
Changing the topic let us look at Denmark´s neighbor Bavaria.
The war is raging over their lands and in generally over western europe, leading to local Counts taking
desperate measures like pledging to faraway kings like Waldemar.
Waldemar does not even know where Bern is, but accepts this oath nonetheless.
The last thing of interest in this chapter of the Knautschling tale is how Waldemar´s son and heir grows into a sissy
and on top of that starts some incestual love-relationship with a Knautschling girl.
But to be fair she is not that closely related to him.
Still Waldemar disapproves and marries Hermann to some other girl in an attempt to solve the issue.
