Avindian

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I like how the optimal gameplay strategy is to milk each country for 5 years and start as many wars as possible. The best way to run any country in RL. :D

Exactly! :) In the original Descent into Madness, I forced countries to finish all wars, but with so little time to work with, that didn't make a whole lot of sense in this game.
 

Duke of Britain

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Wow, that version of Rob is...smart! And Order looks more and more like Chaos (insane, crazy, and he even exploded!)

And Brazil next country? Oh well, Chaos, samba, carnival and insane people...what could possibly go wrong? :)
HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE!
 
Last edited:

Avindian

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Wow, that version of Rob is...smart! And Order looks more and more like Chaos (insane, crazy, and he even exploded!)

And Brazil next country? Oh well, Chaos, samba, carnival and insane people...what could possibly go wrong? :)
HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE!

Brazil should be quite a hoot, or so I hope.
 

alhoward

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And Brazil's got a couple of cores on bordering nations. That leaves time for the justification of non-cores while winning another war. Cash-money right there for Chaos.
 

Avindian

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And Brazil's got a couple of cores on bordering nations. That leaves time for the justification of non-cores while winning another war. Cash-money right there for Chaos.

Good eye!
 

Avindian

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I finished playing as Brazil, and I'll update tomorrow. However, I wanted some thoughts on the next country, which happens to begin with F. That means that, even though Order is the guy in charge, Chaos will get the points.

So... how far should I go into running this country into the ground? (If you want to know the country, click the spoiler button, but please do not subsequently spoil it for those who do not wish it to be spoiled.) Release every country I can? Close all the factories? Get them into unwinnable wars? Disband the army and then get into unwinnable wars? All of them? Even dirtier tricks? Let me know what you think.

The country is France.
 

homy_dog34

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I finished playing as Brazil, and I'll update tomorrow. However, I wanted some thoughts on the next country, which happens to begin with F. That means that, even though Order is the guy in charge, Chaos will get the points.

So... how far should I go into running this country into the ground? (If you want to know the country, click the spoiler button, but please do not subsequently spoil it for those who do not wish it to be spoiled.) Release every country I can? Close all the factories? Get them into unwinnable wars? Disband the army and then get into unwinnable wars? All of them? Even dirtier tricks? Let me know what you think.

The country is France.
I clicked the spoiler before I even read your post...

*sigh*
Anyways, do The. Worst. Possible. Thing. to them. Order has no shame! Also, the stakes are high. Losing is not an option.
 

Sakura_F

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All of them, plus even dirtier stuff!
 

EU3NOOB

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I finished playing as Brazil, and I'll update tomorrow. However, I wanted some thoughts on the next country, which happens to begin with F. That means that, even though Order is the guy in charge, Chaos will get the points.

So... how far should I go into running this country into the ground? (If you want to know the country, click the spoiler button, but please do not subsequently spoil it for those who do not wish it to be spoiled.) Release every country I can? Close all the factories? Get them into unwinnable wars? Disband the army and then get into unwinnable wars? All of them? Even dirtier tricks? Let me know what you think.

The country is France.

Could you explain this? It's not for me, it's for a friend. Yeah... a friend...
 

Avindian

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I clicked the spoiler before I even read your post...

*sigh*
Anyways, do The. Worst. Possible. Thing. to them. Order has no shame! Also, the stakes are high. Losing is not an option.

All of them, plus even dirtier stuff!


Could you explain this? It's not for me, it's for a friend. Yeah... a friend...

I suggest declaring war on China and sending your entire army piecemeal to die at the hands of Chinese peasants, after which you allow your eastern neighbour to attack and utterly destroy the country.

It sounds like all of you are bloodthirsty maniacs... exactly what I was hoping :) I won't do anything too gamey, but this is for a bomb that could destroy reality. Order has to pull out all the stops!

If you aren't quite following what I'm referring to, check the introduction again. Order and Chaos have five letters each; if any country starts with said letter, the owner of the letter gets the points. Thus, since F is Chaos's letter, even though Order is up next, Chaos will get (or lose) any points.
 

Avindian

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Brazil: In which Chaos learns the value of being a very big fish in a very small pond

It feels good to be back in the saddle, Rob!

"I am not a horse."

It's a figure of speech.

"You're a figure of speech!"

Chaos, ever so softly, wept with joy. You're learning what it means to be awesome, Rowboat. We will make a beautiful reality together, then blow it up.

"I am glad you are pleased."

Map me.

"Are you certain? Mapping you would undoubtedly resort in the revelation of your true form, which would cause you to forfeit the bet."

Chaos sighed. Give me a map. Of Brazil.

"Ah! Very well."



That's more like it. Wait, we're at war?

"Yes. With Bolivia."

What kind of sweet, sweet loot do we get out of it?

"Nothing."

You've got to be kidding me. All humans may be worthless, but those of my country are slightly less worthless than other countries. Therefore, they cannot die for no good reason!

"What if you slaughter them in a fit of rage?"

That's a good reason. What's the wargoal?

"Giving Argentina Alto Paraguay."

To hell with that! If Brazil fights, Brazil gets what it wants. Demand La Paz!

"As you wish."



That's what I'm talking about. I am so going to win this bet! You know what I'd regret if I blew up reality?

"What?"

That I could only do it once.
------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately for Chaos's entertainment, the war was boring. It was going well, but most of it was sieges, which resulted in far less carnage than Chaos preferred. The bankruptcy of Denmark was sort of exciting, but then Chaos realized he couldn't invade Denmark because they were too far away. So, he implemented a few measures to lighten the doldrums. First, all Brazilians were required to samba at all times, including in their sleep. Failure to do so resulted in instant death. When Brazilians proved to be exceptionally rhythmic, and this policy didn't actually result in any deaths, Chaos upped the ante by forcing them all to wear fruit baskets on their heads while they sambaed, and dropping a single grape resulted in instant death. That didn't work either. He tried cutting down some of the rain forest, hoping that would result in riots; instead, the natives were thrilled and began to worship him as a god, since they had more farmland. He couldn't anger them, no matter how hard he tried. He even went into a fruit market and kicked over a cart; it turned out that the cart sat on top of some gold nobody noticed.

These people are entirely too happy. What can I do to make their lives miserable?

"I don't think you can."

I could turn them all into cannibals.

"Yes, but then your industrial score would probably go down."

Blast. You haven't blown up in a while; are you more stable now?

"I suppose. I am no longer a beta model; I am merely Robo-Explorer Build 1007."

What happened to 1006?

Rob's eyes widened. "I... don't know. Father! Why have you left me Father?! Don't go! I'll be good! Detonating in 5... 4..."

I shouldn't have said anything.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coming to terms with its childhood proved exceptionally difficult. While Chaos waited for his robot body to return, Brazil underwent many changes. A flu pandemic tore throughout the country; the Brazilians remained insufferable, as even in the throes of death, they were delighted to provide fresh nutrients for the soil. Chaos employed some labor spies; perversely, the knowledge they were being spied on made Brazilians less mad, not more.



By the time Rob returned, Bolivia had surrendered, giving Chaos five more provinces and extending slavery.



The one bit of bad news was that France broke their alliance with Brazil right as Rob rematerialized.



Those French jerks! I hope something terrible happens to them!

"I'll see to it that it does, sir. I am Robo-Explorer model 1008 beta. I am now conscious of the fact that I am a robot, and therefore have no family."

Back to beta, I see?

"Yes, although I must confess I don't know why. Something about my programming." Rob shrugged.

By the way, who builds and programs you?

"I cannot say."

You don't know?

"I do know."

Then tell me.

"I cannot say. It is counterindicated by my programming."

You're counterindicated by your programming!

"I am?" Another raucous explosion tore through Sao Paolo. Despite the explosion destroying three hospitals and an orphanage, the Brazilians remained upbeat, since that meant they'd have even better hospitals and orphanages!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
On December 15, 1848, Rob finally returned. Chaos was still stunned that, somehow, the United Kingdom lost the war with Prussia.



Brazil's first new tech was completed as well; with so many trees in Brazil, Chaos ordered that Early Classical Theory and Critique be the new tech, so that Brazilians could build lumber mills and various other wood related industries. Heh, heh. Wood.



"Yes, Chaos. Wood. I am Robo-Explorer model 1009 alpha."

You're even less stable now?

"Yes. Your concentrated insanity is bad for my circuits."

Don't be a baby, Woe-bo!

"I am not a baby. I am a robot."

Look, let's do something fun. Declare war on Colombia! I want my cores back!

"Done."



We will need the finest of all generals to defeat our enemies.

"I have just the one. His name is Antonio Mallet."

He's a mallet? A mallet with a mustache?

"Er... no."

Make him one!

"Uh... okay?"

Now send him forth to crush my enemies! Literally, as he is a mallet!

"In the meantime, sir, you have finished researching lumber mills. What next?"

I don't know. You pick.

"Cavalry, then."



"General Mallet has engaged Colombian forces. In the meantime, we are a beacon of liberty throughout the world."



Those Brazilians are infecting other countries with their infernal joy. Makes a guy sick. How is the Mallet?

"Doing well, sir."



Yes! Go Mallet go!

"We have won, sir."





The Mallet is so awesome that even the slight threat that he might strike against Mexico forced them to capitulate. Promote this man!

"To what?"

I don't know. Super General?

"Super General?"

Yes! Like a General, but Super!

"... As you wish."


Artist's conception of Antonio Mallet.

And make wood better!

"Yes, sir. I will begin Mechanical Production at once."



"There are reports of Smallpox in Parana."

That's why I want better wood!

"Smallpox is a virulent disease."

That's what the ladies say!

"That doesn't even make sense. Anyhow, despite not treating them, the Brazilians are even more happy."

What?

"A lot of them died, but militancy decreased by 1."

When do I get out of this crazy country?

"Right about... now."

Finally! Get us back to the bar so I can get plastered.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Back at the bar, Bart and Rob laughed at one another.

Good day, gentlemen, what's so funny?

Rob responded, after controlling his mirth for a moment. "Chaos was complaining about France, right?"

If you say so, I haven't been paying attention. The Olympics are on, you know!

"Anyway, he wanted something really terrible to happen to France. So he got it, through pure randomness."

I... see. Care to elaborate, Rob?

"You're going to France."

Delightful. So what?

"France begins with 'F'."

Yes, yes it does. I fail to see your point.

"That means that you have an incentive to totally wreck up the place, then stick Chaos with the negative points."

But I wouldn't do that.

"Are you sure?"

Order thought about it for a few moments. Then a wicked grin spread across his face. No. I'm not sure at all.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Score for Chaos: 3 new techs (+9), 6 new provinces (+6), 3 war goals (+15), score improves from 32 to 41 (+0) = +30.

Total score for Chaos: +41.

I'll play France tonight or tomorrow. This should be fun. :D

Also, I added points for achieving secondary power status; you can check it out on the OP.
 

Avindian

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UK, then France. Order is pretty lucky so far, unless there is some predicament in France that I don't know about.

The fact that Chaos gets the points, regardless of Order, may make France... interesting.

Excellent! Let the French carnage begin!

Carnage is exactly what I expect. :)
 

Avindian

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Funny one! I am looking forward to see what will happen to France..

Evidence in Descent to the contrary, I've never actually tried, on purpose, to ruin a country. This should be... interesting.

That's a pretty nice France you got there... it would be a shame if something would happen to it...

Like... if I knock this pencil off of your desk! /Simpsons
 

king hannibal

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Great update, I laughed a ton. Can't wait for the carnage.