Canada invades U.S.!! Computer Game Shipments Canceled!!

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You might want to start showing Canada some respect for we may be the only country that help you out when the US falls in the next 30 to 50 years (if you do not start to smarten up). If you do not believe me take a look at your past 50 to 100 years of history and then go and compare it to great empire that have fallen such as the Roman Empire.

 

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War of 1812

In The War of 1812


Come back oh proud Canadians
To before they had TV
No Hockey Night in Canada
There was no CBC

In 1812 Madison was mad
He was the President, you know
He thought he'd tell the British
Where they ought to go

He thought he'd invade Canada
He thought that he was tough
Instead we went to Washington
And burned down all his stuff

And the White House burned, burned, burned
And we're the ones that did it!
It burned burned burned
While the President ran and cried

It burned burned burned
Things were very historical
and the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies, wah wah wah
in the war of 1812!

Now some hillbillies from Kentucky
dressed in green and red
left home to fight in Canada
but they returned home dead

Its only war the Yankees lost
except for Vietnam
and also the Alamo
and the Bay of... Ham

The loser was America
The winner was ourselves
So sing along and gloat about
The war of 1812

Chorus:
And the White House burned, burned, burned
But the Americans won't admit it
It burned burned burned
It burned and burned and burned

It burned burned burned
I bet that made them mad
and the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies, wah wah wah
in the war of 1812!


Tha Arrogant Worms

 

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Originally posted by tau
You might want to start showing Canada some respect for we may be the only country that help you out when the US falls in the next 30 to 50 years (if you do not start to smarten up). If you do not believe me take a look at your past 50 to 100 years of history and then go and compare it to great empire that have fallen such as the Roman Empire.

WOW! You're the first one to ever make that comparison!

 

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Re: War of 1812

Originally posted by basilseal
Its only war the Yankees lost
except for Vietnam
and also the Alamo
and the Bay of... Ham

This just shows how dumb you really are. America didn't lose the War of 1812. We were fighting the British so that they'd stop the impressionment of our sailors. We got that. Granted, we would have lost if it weren't for Napoleon, but that's not the issue. Some of you Canadians are seriously idiots. I'm sorry, but it's true. I love Canada, but give me a break.

By the way, the Alamo wasn't fought by Americans. It was fought by Texans. And the Alamo wasn't a war (neither was the Bay of Pigs). We came back and stomped the Mexicans into the ground too. I'd like to see you hold back 5,000 (that's a conservatives estimate) soldiers with 185 men for 13 days. Maybe you should go read some more before you make comments like this.

 

[blah.blah.blah]

Re: Re: War of 1812

Originally posted by JoshWeber
This just shows how dumb you really are. America didn't lose the War of 1812. We were fighting the British so that they'd stop the impressionment of our sailors. We got that. Granted, we would have lost if it weren't for Napoleon, but that's not the issue. Some of you Canadians are seriously idiots. I'm sorry, but it's true. I love Canada, but give me a break.

Depends what you mean by 'lose'. It's hard to claim a victory for either side, so it's probably safe to say that both sides lost it.

Also, the impressment issue was only a relatively small part of the causes of the war. There were many many others.

And as a last point, it's not that odd for canadians to think of themselves as the power that fought in that war against the usa. For one thing, we were all british citizens then, and not canadians. It makes as much sense as american historians talking about that american troops and victories in the seven years war, as is commonly done. Neither is strictly correct, but as shorthand most countries do this.

By the way, the Alamo wasn't fought by Americans. It was fought by Texans. And the Alamo wasn't a war (neither was the Bay of Pigs). We came back and stomped the Mexicans into the ground too. I'd like to see you hold back 5,000 (that's a conservatives estimate) soldiers with 185 men for 13 days. Maybe you should go read some more before you make comments like this.

It's a song by a group that pretty much does nothing but humour. They aren't even very funny usually. So it's not really his education or lack thereof that is deficient, but his taste in music

Nevertheless, i think we're headed into OTland soon. Surprised we've lasted this long actually. So, let's defuse that, shall we? I think it might be fun to try to form NAFTA 45 years early and take over the world.

 

[LordStark]

Re: Re: War of 1812

Originally posted by JoshWeber
This just shows how dumb you really are. America didn't lose the War of 1812. We were fighting the British so that they'd stop the impressionment of our sailors. We got that. Granted, we would have lost if it weren't for Napoleon, but that's not the issue. Some of you Canadians are seriously idiots. I'm sorry, but it's true. I love Canada, but give me a break.

By the way, the Alamo wasn't fought by Americans. It was fought by Texans. And the Alamo wasn't a war (neither was the Bay of Pigs). We came back and stomped the Mexicans into the ground too. I'd like to see you hold back 5,000 (that's a conservatives estimate) soldiers with 185 men for 13 days. Maybe you should go read some more before you make comments like this.

Some PEOPLE are idiots. I think thats true on both sides of the border. Believe me, Canada has its fair share, and I will NOT claim to like, or agree with, everyone in Canada just because they are Canadian.

As per the war of 1812, sounds to me as though some of my fellow Canucks may be confusing national pride with real facts. The fact is, in 1812 we had not confederated. Canada was not responsible for its own foreign policy and did not make war on the US in the classic sense of two countries dualing. Canada was a colony of Britain, and although the British stantioned troops here , the soldiers that attacked Washington were not Canadian. Quebecois, Indian, and some Upper Canada militias did repel US forces as the moved north. Rest assured however, the war was devised, and carried out, by London.

 

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I have to admit it, but basilseal's poem is actually pretty damn funny. Americans have the stereotype of being overlyproud of their country and arrogant. In my experience, Canadians are the exact same way, at least this how they act when talking about America.

We are not as different as you think Except for the fact that I actually get to keep a decent portion of my paycheck and receive medical coverage from my job. You fellows up north seem to be quite satisifed to only get medical coverage without getting a nice paycheck which I find puzzeling.

Go Flames!

 

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Some Non Biased Opinions

I just like to write a few things I noticed that I'd like to give opinions about.

1. Who won the war of 1812 - unfortunately it is a very popular myth in Canada that they won the war - that isn't an accurate assessment. In most historians opinion it was a tie. No one was much better off after the war, and no one was much worse off. I think the reason Canadians feel they won is that they weren't wiped out by a much more power country - and that is a victory of sorts.

2. Although the Texans did defeat a much larger Mexican army, the Texans were much better equiped than the Mexicans. The Mexicans had the 'Canadian Armed Forces' equipment equivalent of the day (antiques ready to fall apart.)

3. If Canada were to be taken over by the US the least they could do is make Canada the 51st through 63rd States.

 

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Re: Some Non Biased Opinions

Originally posted by NB_Guy
I just like to write a few things I noticed that I'd like to give opinions about.

1. Who won the war of 1812 - unfortunately it is a very popular myth in Canada that they won the war - that isn't an accurate assessment. In most historians opinion it was a tie. No one was much better off after the war, and no one was much worse off. I think the reason Canadians feel they won is that they weren't wiped out by a much more power country - and that is a victory of sorts.

2. Although the Texans did defeat a much larger Mexican army, the Texans were much better equiped than the Mexicans. The Mexicans had the 'Canadian Armed Forces' equipment equivalent of the day (antiques ready to fall apart.)

3. If Canada were to be taken over by the US the least they could do is make Canada the 51st through 63rd States.

1) Military there was no doubt it was a tie. It's traditionally seen as an American victory because we got what we were fighting for. We would have liked to take Canada, sure, but that's not why we started the war.

2) Texas rules. We've killed men for saying it didn't.

3) I don't know if you understand the process of statehood or not. America annexes territory and organizes them into territories. After they reach a certain population and form a state constitution, they apply for statehood. The US Congress then approves or denies statehood. Texas (and you could make a case for California) is the only future state to be annexed as a state. Everything else was annexed as a territorty and then later became states. So, basically, Canada's provinces could apply for statehood and they'd surely be accepted. I seriously doubt that they'd be able to keep all of the land they have now, though. Most of it would probably fall under the title of "Unorganized Territory." When they got a big enough population, they'd be able to apply for statehood as well.

 

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You might want to start showing Canada some respect for we may be the only country that help you out when the US falls in the next 30 to 50 years (if you do not start to smarten up). If you do not believe me take a look at your past 50 to 100 years of history and then go and compare it to great empire that have fallen such as the Roman Empire.

If America goes down, Canada goes down
more then 80% of Canadian trade is with America.

Also in World War 2 the German's had such high opinion of us that there put their best troops against the Canadians

Except...not.
Their best troops were fighting in the East. The Canadians got to fight units that were R&Ring in the west.

and if they had choose to attack US soldiers or Canadian soldiers, they would go after the US.

How..could they ever choose ? Canadians being the good little british puppets back then were under Monty, the Americans werent.

One thing I always find funny about the US military was you don’t have the money or manpower to mobilize your whole navy.

How does thta change anything ? The American navy could beat the rest of the world down preaty easily.

 

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Re: Re: War of 1812

Originally posted by JoshWeber


By the way, the Alamo wasn't fought by Americans. It was fought by Texans. And the Alamo wasn't a war (neither was the Bay of Pigs). We came back and stomped the Mexicans into the ground too. I'd like to see you hold back 5,000 (that's a conservatives estimate) soldiers with 185 men for 13 days. Maybe you should go read some more before you make comments like this. [/B]

Frist of all all I did not write the lyrics of the song; I just found them on the net. The song is mildly funny, and easy to find on gnutella. Second when are songs or for that matter movies of tv supposed to be historically accurate? Is Hogans Heros an accurate tale of a POW camp in WW2? of course not, and neither is this song.

basil

 

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Originally posted by tau
You might want to start showing Canada some respect for we may be the only country that help you out when the US falls in the next 30 to 50 years (if you do not start to smarten up). If you do not believe me take a look at your past 50 to 100 years of history and then go and compare it to great empire that have fallen such as the Roman Empire.

Troll warning! Two posts, both inflamatory? Right before this heads OT I recommend just ignoring it.

I think we can all agree that the North American democracies have vastly more in common than any two European neighbors and are in fact, inextrixcably tied together by economic, social and cultural bonds including a very large common sacrifice in the topic HOI covers.

 

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More alike than not

Canada and US have a lot more in common that you'd sometimes think from the media and general opinion.

Both live in democracies that have a few problems

Canada - Prime Minister is dictator (usually) currently is lame duck.

US - Lobbyists WAY too influential

Both have medical systems that should be changed

Canada - Declining health care for all

US - Awesome health care for 85% - not so awesome for other 15%

I've met a lot of people from both countries and I'd have to say that generally they are extremely friendly, and decent people.

 

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Re: More alike than not

Originally posted by NB_Guy
Canada and US have a lot more in common that you'd sometimes think from the media and general opinion.

Canada doesnt even have alot in common with itself when it comes to different regions.Here in Canada we call it "regionalism".
You know,our ongoing conflicts with ourselves;Quebec vs.the rest of Canada;West vs.East,etc.
While I'm on the subject,maybe we could turn this into a west vs. east flamewar
It's time we out west threw off the oppression of those corrupt self-serving politicians led by Mr.Cretien and declared independence!

 

[Otrex]

Yikes! There are alot of uninformed people here trying to invent facts about the war of 1812. Want to know the truth? The war of 1812 can barely be called a war. It was in response to the Northern States hatred of Canadians. The sabre-rattling could only go so far before hostilities would break out, so America made it official, but never really had a "total war" like ones seen in the 20th century (Or even in the American Civil War, for that matter). The soldiers that America DID send however were constantly harrassed by (pay attention now) CANADIAN militia under the command of British Generals. Also, local indians were of utmost importance in bringing a guerilla war to the Americans (who should have seen it coming, considering they used against the British only a couple decades previous).
The high-point of the war was the defeat of General _____'s American Infantry (Cant recall at the moment) and General _______'s Cavalry. If I recall correctly, this is the battle in which Laura Secord gained fame throughout Upper Canada, after she tipped of the Canadian commander of an imminent attack (Canadian Militia and Indians were outnumbered 10 to 1, but still drove them out; they never returned).
Summarizing what happened: America's intent was to drive out any British influence and to annex Canada. They failed. Canada's intent was to defend Canada. They suceeded. The only possible winner in that case would have to be Canada.
You can read all about this war in the book: Canada: A People's History. I think its in Volume II.
Oh, and before I forget... Canadians vandalized the White House and other buildings. They partially burned it in what can only be called the nations first "tailgate party". It caused such a mess that the Americans were forced to whitewash the White House to cover the mess (hence the name). They were, however, under the command of a British General, who's name escapes me...
Another thing..... we commemorate our glorius victory each day with visits to "Laura Secord". Its a nationwide choclateer (sp?) who somehow discovered the logical connection between truffles and gunfire.

 

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If you look at a person from Canada and a person from the US they will have a lot in common in beliefs and point of view but when you start to look at the governments it is a whole different ball park. Most of the world knows America from what contact they have had with is government and you have to an admit the US is not liked around the world. And if the government does not change it’s point of view about the world and how to deal with it. For example when relating to foreign aid instead of giving money to another government why not give the supplies they need. Also you might want to start fixing some of the mistake you made so they do not come and bite you in the behind like so many recently. And maybe instead of going in guns blazing look for a more peaceful solution, you do not need to pick sides on a subject.

On a side note from ZheShiWO Comments “If America goes down, Canada goes down more then 80% of Canadian trade is with America.” it is a lot easy to find a buyer than a seller and we have all of Asia open to us. “The American navy could beat the rest of the world down pretty easily.”There is one weakness US armed force and that is they put to much focus on tech. ex. One EM pulse could cripple your fleet, air force, armoured units and all you have left is your Infantry and we all know how well they did in the Vietnam War.

P.S. Do not plan on coming back and saying that your Navy, Air Force, and Army are protected from EMP for the only Military asset to my knowledge that is EMP protected is the PAH-2 Tiger Helicopter and they went into production in France and Germany on March 6 2001.

 

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If you look at a person from Canada and a person from the US they will have a lot in common in beliefs and point of view but when you start to look at the governments it is a whole different ball park

Thats true. America is a viable democracy, Canada is a 1 party state that is perminantly dominated by the Liberals and Ontario.

Most of the world knows America from what contact they have had with is government and you have to an admit the US is not liked around the world.

Yes, Iran, Iraq and North Korea sure hate it. I bet Americans lose sleep because of that.

And if the government does not change it’s point of view about the world and how to deal with it. For example when relating to foreign aid instead of giving money to another government why not give the supplies they need.

Because..they can use money to buy cheaper aid somewhere else ?

And maybe instead of going in guns blazing look for a more peaceful solution, you do not need to pick sides on a subject.

Sort of like Chambarlain was looking for a peacefull solution with hitler ? That realy worked out

On a side note from ZheShiWO Comments “If America goes down, Canada goes down more then 80% of Canadian trade is with America.” it is a lot easy to find a buyer than a seller and we have all of Asia open to us.

Iam sorry but thats a silly thing to say. Firstly America is an easy truck drive of an hour or two as oposed to asia thats days by boat. Secondly and more importantly if America goes down you think you are going to find a place to take 80% of your trade imediatly ? Yah right.

“The American navy could beat the rest of the world down pretty easily.”There is one weakness US armed force and that is they put to much focus on tech. ex. One EM pulse could cripple your fleet, air force, armoured units

Because the whole US army, navy and army are placed in one nice neat parking spot ? :rollseyes:

and all you have left is your Infantry and we all know how well they did in the Vietnam War.

50,000 Americans, 2 million Vietnamese. Seems preaty good kill ratio to me.

P.S. Do not plan on coming back and saying that your Navy, Air Force, and Army are protected from EMP for the only Military asset to my knowledge that is EMP protected is the PAH-2 Tiger Helicopter and they went into production in France and Germany on March 6 2001.

So in other words. Everyone else can be attacked by using an EMP pulse ? Nice to know that you defeated your own argument for me.

Summarizing what happened: America's intent was to drive out any British influence and to annex Canada. They failed. Canada's intent was to defend Canada. They suceeded. The only possible winner in that case would have to be Canada.

Or rather
Summarize what happend: Americas intent was to stop the British from stealing its citizen and forcing them into the British navy. Then a portion of the US government also decided that annexing Canada was a good idea. The British intent(Canada did not exist back then in case you were wondering) was to keep doing whatever it wants to in regards to the Americans and keep Canada and then they started winning battles to beat down the Americans horribly and perhaps get the Americas or atleast some portions of it back.
Seems to me the secondary goals of both nations failed. The primary goals of both nations worked out. Idd call that a tie.
But if saying that you beat down some 3rd world two bit nation 200 years ago(even though it was the British who did this) and who now happens to be the sole super power gets you a hard on then halelujah my brother. Enjoy it all you can.

 

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*** FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ***
*** AP NEWS WIRE ***

President Bush today took the dramatic step of adding Canada to the infamous "axis of evil". In a statement in the Rose Garden the President was quoted as saying "If they think they can just delay a game, you know that Hearts of Iron one so many Americans want to play, just whenever they want, and that we as a superpower won't have, even can't have, anything to say about it then they are just flat wrong. Flat Wrong. America stands for freedom. And on behalf of all freedom loving people around the world we will build a coalition of like minded gamers and we will act. And today I have instructed the Secretary of Defense and my entire cabinet to do just that."

There are sporatic reports around the country of reserve units mobilizing. While none of these units has been identified as participating in a pending invasion of Canada some reports indicate the Mohabe training grounds, where computer war simulations are used extensively, has seen increased activity over the past several days. The American Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, best summed it up in a Pentagon briefing when he said "Look. We will fight terrorism in whatever form it takes. We went to Afghanistan and eliminated the training camps. We have been fighting economic terrorism throughout the world and eliminating the money that funds these horrible acts. And when the President says we will not stand for gaming terrorism, he means it."

Asked point blank if the United States was prepared to invade Canada, the Secretary responded "If they will just hand over the game then we won't have to. That's what I think they should do."

Many within the United Nations were quick to condemn the President's remarks. The German ambassador, in a statement to the assembly said "No German forces will participate in any assault on Canada. While we deplore the continuing delays in the release of this title, Germany must insist that this issue be handled diplomatically."

While the French delegation has yet to comment officially, some suspect they might use their power on the Security Council to prevent any official condemnation of the Canadian position. One French staffer, speaking anonymously, suggested "Why would we want to think about that period of history anyway? As far as we are concerned, if the whole thing just disappeared it might not be such a loss at all."

Gamers throughout the world reacted immediately, but the reaction largely died down after it was learned that any action by the Canadians would not impact Europe as they receive their supplies through a different channel entirely. Informed sources report that Russia actually already has a supply, though some unconfirmed reports indicate that the North American troubles might have delayed a long expected supply of printed manuals in that country. Still, once again, it appears the Americans are going this fight alone.

"With the world or without them, we must act." one prominent Republican Senator was heard saying. "The American gamers are demanding it. And if the rest of the world doesn't have the will to get this done, then this won't be the first time America has been forced to take the lead."

In a semi-related report, there are rumors that Canada has invaded the United States. However the Immigration and Naturalization Service could not confirm or deny these reports. At a press conference in Washington a spokeman announced "The entire Canadian Army is only about 100,000 troops. With our current level of staffing in the INS I don't see how we could be expected to notice such a small migration across the borders into this country. But if the Canadian Army has entered the United States without a proper visa then they did so illegally and will not qualify for amnesty for at least 2 years."

The Associated Press has a request in to the Canadian Army to clarify whether or not they have entered the United States. But some reporters are already speculating that the army may have gained entry by dressing up as young muslim men of middle eastern origin and thereby passed through INS checkpoints unnoticed.

*** End of Release ***

 

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Kill Ratio

50,000 Americans, 2 million Vietnamese. Seems preaty good kill ratio to me.

You are correct about the number of American Casualties - it was around 50 000. But regarding Vietnamese Casualties - your number is high - if you are only counting Military targets. According to recently released Vietnamese Government documents there were 1.1 Million Military Casualties - and 4 million Civilian Casualties.

The Hanoi government revealed on April 3 that the true civilian casualties of the Vietnam War were 2,000,000 in the north, and 2,000,000 in the south. Military casualties were 1.1 million killed and 600,000 wounded in 21 years of war. These figures were deliberately falsified during the war by the North Vietnamese Communists to avoid demoralizing the population.

By the way I don't think the US 'lost' Vietnam - they withdrew. But I do think that they didn't really need to go there in the first place, I guess you could say they tried to get rid of a 'fly sized problem' with a cannon.

 

[Jon Shafer]

I'm still wondering why this thread hasn't been banished to the bowels of OT...

LoL... I can't belive such a topic as "Canada invades U.S.!! Computer Game Shipments Canceled!!" has turned into a serious debate over who won the 'War' of 1812.